Chapter 53
Daniela
On the drive home, Dex immediately places his hand protectively on my knee and doesn’t let go.
“I’m okay, you know.”
“Are you sure?” He glances over at me quickly.
“Yes. I can handle people talking about having kids. It’s part of life. Besides, some people have it a lot worse than me. They try for years and years to get pregnant with no luck. At least I know now that I’m capable.” I pick at a small thread on my sweater.
“Why do you always do that?” He asks me, his voice tender.
“Do what? ”
“Belittle your trauma? All the shit you’ve been through…you always compare it to people who have had it worse. Like you’re not allowed to feel it or complain because, in your eyes, it’s not quite as bad as it could be.”
I’m stunned into silence. “I didn’t realize I do that…”
“Just because there are people who have it worse than you doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel all of the feelings, and admit that it sucks.”
I nod my head. He’s not wrong. Maybe it’s the empath in me…or maybe it’s one of my ways of coping. Or it could be my way of trying to look tough.
“You’re absolutely right,” I admit. “Thank you for that. But also…maybe it’s just my way of looking at things from a glass-half-full point of view? I kind of like that I’ve started to do that, instead of being negative all the time. I don’t really know.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” He smiles at me.
“It’s not too late to back out, you know. I’m twenty-six and I still don’t have it all together.”
“None of us do,” he remarks. “Besides, who says you have to have it all together in order to be deserving of love? I’ll happily take you just as you are.”
“Same.”
He smiles at me and it makes my insides melt, because this man takes the time to really see me and understand me, and I still don’t feel deserving. But I will try my best to earn it.
Because I’m not letting him go.