Chapter 52
Daniela
Lake Tahoe starts to cool off pretty fast after summer. It’s the first time I’ve been back since I left in August, before the school year started. Dex came to see me in Sacramento several times the last few weeks.
It’s a crisp fall night now. Some of the aspen trees are beginning to change from green to yellow, but the pines remain green and constant. The view from Dex’s back patio is stunning as we sit hand in hand, watching the sunset.
“How’s Jason doing?”
“Good. Still there. Still going strong. Talked to him the other day.”
“Good. ”
“Yeah. It is.” I will never be able to repay him for how he helped my family, but I drove him crazy when I thanked him thirty times ago, so he made me stop thanking him.
“How were conferences this week?” Dex asks.
“Fine. Exhausting. Definitely my least favorite part of teaching.”
“Well, at least they’re over now. For a while.”
“Yeah,” I nod.
We’ve been calling each other almost every night since I went back home.
I tell him about my day, and he tells me about his.
The exciting news as well as the little things.
I miss him during the week, of course, but things are going well right now, and I don’t want to stress about making any big changes just yet.
Layla has always been my best friend, but Dex has become my other best friend.
I haven’t talked to her as much as usual since she got back from her honeymoon and I started school.
They were beyond thrilled to hear about our budding relationship, though.
Layla squealed with delight in my ear when I filled her in over the phone not long after they returned.
We’re going to see her, Liam, and Jackson tomorrow night for dinner. I can’t wait.
“So, Jackson’s season is finally over, huh? What ever will you do with all that free time now?”
He smirks, shrugging with exaggerated sorrow. “I don’t know.” He takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “I don’t know… ”
I laugh, lifting my mug and taking a sip of hot coffee.
After several long beats of silence, Dex asks, “Do you think you’ll ever tell anyone else? Layla?”
It’s true, I still haven’t told Layla my big secret.
I feel awful, but she’s so wrapped up in her newlywed bliss, I didn’t know how to bring it up.
If I can catch her alone during one of these visits, I’ll finally tell her everything.
I’m not exactly looking forward to rehashing it again, but I do feel ready to tell her, and I know she’d be crushed if she found out I was keeping something like this from her.
“I think so. It’s been nice having it be just our thing for a while, though. You know?”
He nods, the ghost of a smile on his lips. Then he grabs my coffee, stealing a sip, and I scoff at him.
**
The next night, we find ourselves at the Barnes household, laughing over a dinner that Liam cooked, naturally. Jackson is making everyone laugh with his antics, and Liam and Layla share more stories about Italy. They were gone for almost three weeks, so they have plenty of anecdotes.
I find it both adorable and gross how they look so lovingly at each other, finishing each other’s sentences like they’re one being.
“Dex and Daniela, can I just say…that I told you so!” Jackson hollers with glee, pointing at us .
“I don’t know what you mean, dude,” I retort, playing dumb.
“You and Uncle Dex! I knew you guys should be together like Uncle Liam and Aunt Layla,” he grins, clearly proud of himself. “And now you’re…what? Uncle Dex and Aunt Daniela? Can I call you that now?”
“Umm…” I don’t know how to answer, so I look around the table, silently pleading with someone else to help me.
“Yes, you can,” Dex smirks at me, kissing my hand. “She’s not going anywhere.”
“Aw.” Layla grins from ear to ear. I shoot her a look.
“Mom, you’re embarrassing us,” I say, giving her my best teenager scowl, but it’s hard not to smile.
“They’re Mom and Dad, but also Uncle Liam and Aunt Layla…” Jackson says, looking perplexed. “And now you guys are Uncle Dex and Aunt Daniela…then there’s Grandma and Grandpa, who I’m with half the time…”
We all go quiet, wondering where he’s going with this.
“This is such a weird family,” he finally says, shaking his head. But he has a joyful smile on his face.
We all laugh.
“If you guys want to add to it at any time, I’ll be a great big cousin,” Jackson continues.
Dex and I fall silent .
Liam, picking up on the mood shift, jumps in. “Jackson, we only just got married. And they only just started not hating each other. Give it time, kid.” He laughs, tussling Jackson’s hair, trying to lighten the moment.
They don’t even know the half of it, though.
Dex squeezes my leg under the table as I take a sip of my wine, and Jackson moves on. He starts focusing on Liam and Layla, pleading for some new video game. Dex and I tune it out for a moment as he looks at me, checking in. I flash him a reassuring smile.
I’m more than okay.
After dinner is cleared, the guys head to Liam’s office so Liam can show Dex some new project he’s working on. Layla and I stay in the kitchen, wanting to properly catch up alone while Jackson moseys up to his room to watch a movie.
Before I even sit down, she pulls me into a strong hug.
“Jeez, girl…been hitting the gym more? You already gave me a hug.”
“I know, I know. I’m just so damn happy seeing you two together. I always knew there was something special there. I was just waiting for you to see it.”
“I always did…I was just…being stubborn old me.” I smile weakly .
“Is that what happened with you guys last year?” She places her elbows on the counter across from me. “Things got scary, so you ran?”
“Not exactly. I mean yes, that’s how it started…” I breathe in, bracing myself for the story I’m about to tell out loud for the second time ever. I already know she’s going to be sad for me, but I hope she won’t be mad I didn’t tell her.
“I did ghost him after we hooked up. Which, by the way, we were both super drunk and it was a little fuzzy…” I pause. “He reached out to me many times after, and I was a complete asshole, being super short with him and then ignoring him altogether…”
She looks like she’s bracing herself. She knows me well enough to know I’m about to spill something big.
“I uh…got really sick…and it turned out…I was pregnant.” Her mouth drops.
She waits in silence for me to continue.
“I had an appointment…saw him on the screen, heard the heartbeat, all of it. And then…I lost him. And I told no one.” I look up at her with a fake smile on my face.
Her hand is over her mouth in shock, and then she comes around and hugs me again.
“Daniela…I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me? You didn’t tell anyone?”
I shake my head.
“Why not?”
“I have no idea. I felt like I needed to tell Dex first…but I didn’t know how. I just wanted to be alone at fi rst, to sort out my feelings. And then it got harder and harder to tell him as time went on.”
“How did you react when you first found out? Especially having no one to talk to about it…”
“I freaked the fuck out. Maybe had a panic attack or two. I wasn’t planning on that. Obviously. But then after a few days I was…kind of calm? It’s hard to put into words. And I was going to tell him after the appointment…”
“When did he finally find out?”
“The night of the wedding. I was a little drunk. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” she shakes her head, waving me off. “Most people were drunk at the wedding.”
“True. Although Marny thought I was a real ‘hot mess.’” I laugh at the memory. “Don’t worry though, Dex defended my honor. Told her off.”
“Hell yeah. She had nothing but snarky comments all summer. Good for Dex.”
“Yeah.”
“Daniela.” Her eyes are full of pity again, and I don’t want that. “I’m so sorry you went through that all by yourself. And you’ve been holding it in this whole time. I know you always open up when you’re ready, but jeez, that’s a heavy load to carry all by yourself.”
“Yeah…” I murmur.
“Were you going to—”
“Keep him? Yes. ”
Her eyes well up. “Him?”
“Blood test,” I reply.
She hugs me again. I let her.
“Okay,” I say finally. “Let’s talk about something else.”
She nods in understanding. I don’t want to dwell on the past.
“How was honeymoon sex in Italy?”
My best friend let’s out a laugh, and then I join her.
This is why I love her. She’ll cry with me when I need her to, and laugh with me just as easily when I need that, too.