Chapter 14 #4
“You see the best in people,” said Eris with a tight voice. “And you were in love. It’s not your fault.”
If Denny had had a penny for every time she’d heard that drill—‘It’s not your fault’—, it’d have been enough to buy her a new phone. It wasn’t her fault, she knew it wasn’t, but that didn’t make her feel any less foolish for how she had allowed Blake to treat her.
“I felt like it was, all the time. She seemed to like me only when I was fumbling. No matter how hard I tried to please her, nothing I did was ever right.”
Eris poked her with an elbow. “I wonder where your self-worth issues are coming from.”
Denny gave in to a meek laugh. It hurt a bit less to reminisce about it with Eris by her side, something good to hold on to.
She gulped down the last of her chamomile, barely lukewarm by now, realising how little it took to make her happy.
And yet there had been a time when her life had revolved around the artificial joy that Blake concocted for her, made of stereotypical gestures and stereotypical words, a one-fits-all romance fabricated to dazzle and distract from its shallowness.
Denny hadn’t realised she had been overfed and undernourished for a year until the starvation had consumed her beyond recognition.
“I got a wake-up call when she attempted to cut me off from my family and friends. That’s when I saw her true colours.
” As blind and naive as she could be, she wasn’t gullible enough not to see that someone who tried to put her against her own family couldn’t be good.
“Aunt Auni found me a therapist. I learned to see through Blake’s manipulations and deal with her.
Goes without saying that Blake went apeshit.
The more I stood my ground, the harder things got between us. ”
Eris set her beer on the nightstand and nestled against Denny’s side. “I’m glad you found the courage to leave her.”
“Oh, no. She left me.” Denny rested her cheek on top of Eris’ head. This, trivial and simple, was what made her truly happy. Not pompous love declarations, fancy dinners, or expensive presents. All she wanted was something true. “I lost all my appeal when I learned to clap back.”
Eris’ arms slid around her waist. Denny lifted an arm to let her snuggle under it and tucked her against her chest. The happy little sound Eris exhaled sounded like a purr.
“I’m proud of you. You deserve someone who worships the ground you walk on.”
“Check,” Denny chuckled.
“What if I’m a fraud, too?”
“Are you?”
It was a rhetorical question that Eris answered with a silence that Denny had no difficulty reading through: ‘I wouldn’t tell you, would I?’
She leniently squeezed Eris to herself. “There are so many things you could’ve lied about and didn’t.”
“Could be all part of the plan.”
“I’ll take my chances.”
Eris pulled back, sporting a frown that promised a rebuttal, but Denny captured her lips before she could utter a sound.
Eris smirked into it, mumbling a ‘bitch’ before returning the kiss twice as passionately.
Her lips were cold and sweet from the beer, a pillowy temptation that Denny couldn’t resist nipping at, relishing the light moan that poured into her mouth.
In one swift motion Eris straddled Denny’s legs, taking her face between her hands. “Trying to drive me crazy?” she whispered, eyes dark and gleaming with a burning sentiment that Denny felt down to her core.
The air was saturated with sizzling electricity.
All it took was one sign, one spark, and things would escalate at the speed of light.
But Denny wasn’t moving and Eris would only go as far as Denny took her, never pushing an inch farther, never demanding more than what she was offered, and that alone made Denny want to give her everything.
Had it been any other day, she would have.
Her heart craved it, her body craved it.
But tonight wasn’t a good night for big steps.
She closed her hands around Eris’ wrists, amazed by how easy it was to get lost in those crystal eyes. She turned, pressing her lips to the inside of Eris’ wrist. “If she ever approaches you, don’t listen to anything she says.”
Loving fingers stretched past her cheeks, brushing her scalp. “Okay.”
No one had ever looked at her with such deep, unconditional trust. If she had pointed a dagger at Eris’ throat, she was sure Eris would have let her without batting an eyelid.
Denny didn’t know how to handle a loyalty like that.
She was afraid that Blake might smell it, wherever she was, and come to take it away.
“Broadcasting again,” Eris chided.
“I’m scared,” Denny grudgingly admitted.
“Of what?”
“Of what she could do to us.”
“Nothing, if I do something to her first.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
“Blake is good at playing mind games,” Denny insisted. “Promise me you won’t believe anything that comes out of her mouth, whatever it is.”
The pads of Eris’ thumbs traced impalpable arcs upon her cheekbones. “I promise, Sunshine. Don’t worry about me.”
Denny’s heart shrank at that. You might as well ask me not to breathe.
Sighing, Eris brushed some curls off her forehead. “You think too loudly.”
Denny craned her neck to silence her with a kiss. “You feel too deeply.”
“No.” Eris moved the kiss to Denny’s cheek, then engulfed her in a shy embrace. Gentle. So achingly gentle. “I only feel you.”
It was too much. Fighting back the knot of emotion throbbing in her chest, Denny buried her face in Eris’ neck, filling her lungs with that comforting scent that had become a balm to her anxiety.
“So… Italian, huh?” she murmured against her skin.
Eris shrugged one shoulder. “I had a roommate from Verona years ago.”
“You should practice with Rocco. You’d be fluent in no time.”
“Fluent in arsehole.” A yawn crept out of Denny’s mouth. Eris narrowed her eyes at her scrunching face. “Enough chatting: it’s shuteye o’clock.”
It was late. Every cell of Denny’s body could feel it, but she didn’t want to give up the bliss she was basking in. When Eris tried to climb off her, Denny’s hands went instinctively to her hips. She knew the very moment her eyes and Eris’ met that she didn’t need to ask, but she did anyway.
“Stay?”
Something raw and intense appeared where she had expected to find a smile. There was a blazing edge to it, barely restrained, but Eris’ voice was still sweet, still tender when she whispered: “Okay.”