21. Broken
Broken
Driz heard Pearl calling for her. Everything hurt. Her skin, her wings, her ribs from where she’d crashed into the side of the cliff. And inside hurt too. Perhaps even more.
She pushed onward, half of her demanding she return to Pearl and the rest needing to get away. Far away. Again. For the last time.
Driz should not have helped. She should certainly not have waited. But she had thought, after the flooding incident, the humans would understand she wasn’t a threat.
They hadn’t. Especially not the sheriff.
Driz was full of wrong thoughts tonight. Because as Oak had stood beside Pearl, some odd pull drew Driz toward her, like if Driz ran to her, the sheriff might keep her safe from everything in the world.
So wrong.
Since Driz had met Pearl, she had helped the humans three times. Each time, they had shot her.
The world was starting to spin.
She smelled the cinderwolf far too late. Standing as tall as Driz’s chest, its soot-black coat smoldered as it watched her with orange eyes. They flickered like the flames in a suffocating mine. More fire.
It had sensed her blood, and her weakness. And for the first time in a long time, Driz wondered if she might truly die. Dawn was a long way off.
Would this be her last night? Driz wasn’t certain she would be so sad if it were. It had started off so beautifully, after all, with Pearl in her arms.
The cinderwolf recoiled as a bullet passed all the way through its shoulder, an explosion of fur evaporating at the impact. It howled again, glowing eyes turning on Pearl, who scrambled over the edge of the slope. She fired again, taking a second chunk from the beast.
Even reeking of blight, Pearl’s bullets were only made of common metal and did not do as much damage as they might have had they been made of silver.
The wolf crouched, preparing to leap, its focus redirected toward the threat rather than the quarry.
It would never reach Pearl. Driz refused to allow it.
She launched herself forward as the wolf leapt, crashing into it in midair.
Molten teeth tore at her shoulder as they tumbled over the earth, burrs and gravel grinding into the raw flesh of Driz’s burns. She roared in pain and fury as something snapped. A primal urge inside her took over.
Smoky fur shredded beneath her claws and stuck to her fangs. Bones crunched and tendons split as she ripped limbs apart, uncaring of her own. The sounds blended with screams she wasn’t certain were inside or out of her head.
Pearl was repeating her name.
Driz blinked down at the mangled remains of the cinderwolf. Hot, smoking blood—a mix of her own and the creature’s—coated her arms and chest. More dripped from her mouth. The burns on her body blazed.
“Driz?” Pearl still stood near the edge of the cliff.
Shame and pain clouded Driz’s vision. She couldn’t stand that Pearl was seeing her, looking at her with those eyes that had watched her so dispassionately as she denied Driz’s existence in her life.
Driz tried to run and lurched off the other side of the cliff instead.
She tumbled, her damaged wings only partially catching near the bottom to slow her crash into the sandy basin.
She skidded and lay where she stopped for several heartbeats, the earth and world shifting around her scorching limbs.
Water trickled nearby and she dragged her body toward it, seeking the small comfort it would give. It wasn’t more than a stream, but Driz lay herself in it, letting the water cool her ravaged flesh.
Pearl stared down at Driz. Driz, who was nearly unrecognizable with blood and burns.
She lay partially submerged in the shallow water, one of her wings at an awkward angle beneath her and the other limp at her side.
Driz had always been so powerful and fierce, even when she was being sweet. Now, she looked utterly broken. And Pearl knew every one of her injuries was Pearl’s fault.
The freshest wounds, the bite and claw marks from the cinderwolf, let off gentle wafts of smoke as the gashes continued to smolder. The water around Driz darkened.
“Driz, you need to get out of the water,” Pearl said, brushing the wet remains of Driz’s hair from her face. Driz twitched at the touch, but she didn’t move or open her eyes. “Driz?”
Nothing.
Pearl dropped her saddlebags from over her shoulder and dug out the lantern. Her hands trembled as she lit the can and light washed over them, making the scene so much worse, but Pearl needed to see.
Driz was incredibly heavy. Pearl worked her grip beneath her armpits and heaved.
She only managed to angle them out of the water, but it was better than nothing. She rested Driz’s head in her lap and reached for her insufficient medical kit.
Pearl couldn’t see well, and she wasn’t skilled, but she tried anyway. And her hands shook too much. Driz had already lost so much blood, so Pearl focused on slowing any more. Driz only had to make it through the night, right?
Pearl opened her blight tin. Only a dab remained. Could Driz even use it in her state? Would it help? Pearl had to try.
She gathered the blight on her fingers and wiped it over the worst wound on Driz’s shoulder. When she pressed down on the bite marks to convince Driz’s body to accept it, Driz stirred. A low growl started in her chest. She opened her eyes and finally looked at Pearl.
“You’re gonna be alright,” Pearl promised. “I’m not letting you go anywhere. You fucking hear me?”
Driz didn’t answer, her eyes fluttering shut again, the growl fading.
Pearl did all she could when it wasn’t enough.
She held Driz, cradling her head and stroking her cheek while applying pressure to her wounds, and still, Driz bled.
Pearl willed the sun to come faster, so of course, the night dragged.
Pearl kept one finger on the pulse that thrummed in Driz’s neck, to reassure herself it still beat.
She convinced herself several times it was weakening.
When dawn started to brighten the sky, she didn’t dare breathe in relief. But her sleep-addled mind knew she had to move. She couldn’t be holding Driz when she became stone.
Pearl carefully eased from beneath Driz’s heavy head just as the first light reached the cliffs above.
She watched in exhausted fascination as Driz’s form changed. It was like seeing standing water frost over, solidifying and shifting texture. Pearl almost reached out to check if her pulse beat in this form, but she stayed her hand. Driz was a sleeping stone goyle, even if she was still Driz.
Pearl should leave, but she was too stubborn and too tired, and collapsed sideways, reaching weakly for her saddlebags.
As she moved, a cascade of dust shook from her clothes and skin.
She looked down, confused, to see where her sleeves and hands had been stained with Driz’s blood now remained unblemished, except for the fine silt that sloughed off. Even Driz’s blood had turned to stone.
Pearl dropped her head on the dusty leather of her saddlebag and fell fast asleep.
Driz woke looking at the sky. She was on her back, water rushing gently over her feet.
Pearl lay curled up only an arm’s length away. She’d slept near Driz in stone form?
Driz slowly pushed up, assessing. Her left side was still mottled, the blisters from burns gone but the skin rough and tender.
The hole in her wing was smaller, and her stiff joints proved movable.
Her sore ribs no longer stabbed. Yet a heaviness lingered.
Instead of shaking off fully when she woke, a bit of the stone clung to her.
“Hey.” Pearl sat up. “How’re you feeling?”
Driz swallowed. Her memory of last night was hazy. She remembered the pain, and she remembered Pearl holding her. Pearl cursing at her as hands soothed.
“Better,” Driz settled on.
Pearl crawled over and studied Driz’s body. What had thrilled Driz before now made her hide. She tried to cover herself so Pearl wouldn’t see.
Her clothes were in bad shape. Her singed trouser legs had several new holes torn in the flimsy fabric.
The left sleeve of her shirt was gone and several buttons were lost, so it gaped open, exposing the center of her chest to her navel.
Driz reached for the flaps to hold them together and the damaged fabric ripped in her clumsy, oversized hands that couldn’t do anything right.
Then she noticed her shoulder. The teeth marks glowed faintly. When she touched them to rub the glow away, it lingered. Panic filled her chest and she clawed at the skin, needing to rip out the tainted flesh.
“What’re you doing?” Pearl demanded, grabbing Driz’s wrist.
“You used blight on me.”
“So?”
Driz couldn’t breathe. “Now I am cursed.”
“What’re you talking about? The blight’s probably the only reason you lived.”
“We are forbidden.”
“By who? I didn’t think you cared about what’s forbidden to goyles.”
“About this, I do.” She raked her nails into the wound, trying to reopen it, but her attempts just slid off. “Why would you do this to me?”
“I…was afraid.”
The quake in Pearl’s voice stilled Driz’s movements. Driz looked away from the glowing marks. She would deal with them later.
Pearl was staring at the left half of Driz’s face. Driz touched her own head, feeling for what had caught Pearl’s attention.
Rough, tender burns extended up into where her hair used to be. And Pearl was looking at her with a quiet horror Driz wished she had never seen.
Driz had been wrong yesterday. The worst thought she’d ever had was to hope she might be anything but a hideous beast.
She flinched back when Pearl reached to touch her damaged cheek. She craved Pearl’s touch so much it hurt more than her injuries, and it would hurt too much to have it.
Turning away so Pearl didn’t have to look at her, she climbed, aching, to her feet. She had never been this badly injured before. The stone sleep could only do so much in a single day.
“You were right,” Driz told the dirt. “When you said your mother would shoot me.”
“Driz…”
“But at least she waited long enough for you to clarify I mean nothing to you.”
“I never said that.”
“I am not stupid.” Driz’s aching wings flared. “Well, perhaps I am, but do not pretend I misunderstood your words.”
“I didn’t mean any of that.”
“But you said it.”
“I lied, trying to keep her calm so she wouldn’t shoot!” Pearl’s own anger flared.
Driz huffed out a breath from her throbbing chest. “It did not work.”
“It might’ve, if you weren’t so obvious. Why the fuck did you have to say you were helping because of me?”
A new, unpleasant kind of heat curled up Driz’s neck, hot and prickly. “Because I did do it for you. What should I have said instead?”
“Anything else. Or nothing at all.”
Driz was suddenly hollow. She looked up at the sky and stretched her wings experimentally.
Flying would be agony, but she would do it.
She had to get away. She didn’t belong with Pearl, with any humans.
Even if the pain of leaving would incapacitate her, staying longer and enduring Pearl’s rejection would hurt more.
“Where d’you think you’re going?” Pearl snapped, sharp enough for Driz to look at her.
“I am sorry I did the wrong things.” Driz meant the words but struggled to get the next out. “I will not bother you again. Goodbye, Pearl. Thank you for…” For what? What was Driz supposed to say?
“Oh no you don’t.” Pearl moved in front of Driz, reaching up and seizing the sides of her face. “I told you. You’re not going anywhere. I didn’t come after you and watch you almost die all night just for you to leave me.”
Pearl’s touch on Driz’s skin was scrambling her senses. “You do not want me to leave?”
“Of course I don’t.”
“Then what?”
Pearl stared into her eyes for several heartbeats. And she kissed her.
Driz resisted for a moment. Fear of Pearl turning away as she had, of changing her mind, had Driz hesitating.
But with Pearl’s lips pressed to her own, tongue seeking and offering what Driz wanted so badly, Driz gave in. She folded her arms around Pearl and drew her closer. Pearl moaned and her grip tightened on Driz’s damaged cheek.
The pain reminded Driz and she broke the kiss.
“Does it hurt?” Pearl panted, frowning.
It did, but not in that way.
The tears came swiftly and unexpectedly, closing Driz’s throat. Perhaps Pearl was right to think her stupid. “You push me away and pull me back,” Driz rasped. “Please explain this to me, because I do not understand.”
Pearl stared in shock at the tears leaking from Driz’s face, and then she closed her eyes briefly.
“I’m such an ass,” she muttered before meeting Driz’s watery gaze.
“I told you I’m messed up. I’m terrible at all this.
But I want you, Driz. Your kindness and your honesty.
I like you. And I can’t seem to help it.
I don’t exactly know what that means, but I left my home to come after you, and I don’t regret it.
Last night was one of my worst ever.” Pearl bit her bottom lip.
“I’m not sure that’s really an answer, but I don’t want you to leave. Please. Don’t leave.”
The pain in Driz’s chest eased.
“What about you?” Pearl asked cautiously, as if afraid Driz was going to say something else.
“I do not want to leave either.”
Pearl’s fingers danced over Driz’s face, smoothing away the tears that lingered. Her expression held no disgust. No horror, or repulsion. Just sadness. “Thank you. For saving the mines. Even if my mother doesn’t appreciate it yet, I do.”
“I am sorry I stayed. And did not say the right things.”
“That wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Driz didn’t believe the words. That was one of Pearl’s lies. It had to be, because Driz obviously had done the wrong things.
She watched Pearl’s mouth, where she bit her lip. Driz ached to kiss her again. To get lost in Pearl and forget about the second part of last night, but the physical pains of her body anchored her frustratingly to reality.
Driz glanced around. The dusk had faded to night, and she needed to keep Pearl safe and comfortable out here. “Have you eaten?”
“Not since yesterday. I slept all day too.” And she had stayed up all night with Driz. Pearl didn’t say that, but Driz knew it was true.
“If you start a fire, I will get you food to cook,” Driz promised. “What would you like?”
“Honestly, I’d eat anything right now. Even mudscupper doesn’t sound so bad. I’ve got some dried hardtack in my bag, but it won’t last long.”
“I will be back.”
“Don’t hurt yourself.”
“I cannot promise that.” Driz ran her hand over Pearl’s tousled, lovely hair. “But as always, you are worth it.”