Chapter 8 Darío
Harlan,
It’s been a long month since you left. This house is so empty and cold.
It’s not home if you’re not here with me.
I don’t know how to live without you, Harlan.
All of your things are gone, but you still show up to fuck with my head.
You’re in the kitchen with your stupid fucking hand towels that you swore were just for decoration.
You’re in the living room with the huge sofa you insisted was perfect to spoon on.
In the sheets that you picked out. I want to burn it all to the ground.
I can’t escape you, but I still miss you so desperately that I swear it makes me hate you.
I just want to let you go. Why can’t I let you go?
I am so angry with you for doing this to us.
I’ve dialed your number so many times so I can hear your voice.
I miss your fucking voice, sweetness. I miss the way you fit against my body.
We were so good together. So fucking good…
and you took that away from us. I’m fucking broken without you, Lan.
Sometimes it hurts to breathe. It hurts to fucking exist. I don’t give a single fuck about baseball.
I’m supposed to go to Miami to see everyone, but I don’t know if I can face them.
You’ve even taken my family from me. I have nothing left that you haven’t tainted.
Everything that matters to me includes you.
Your pillows don’t smell like you and I hate that too. I can’t look at a sunrise without crying. I wish I knew when this would get easier. It all feels so hopeless and dark right now. You took my heart with you, Harlan.
I hate you. I love you. More than anything, I fucking miss you. Please come home. I can’t do this without you.
Dare