Chapter 9 Harlan
Dare,
London sucks. It’s been three months and I’m a mess. I’ve never hated myself more. Getting out of bed is nearly impossible, but I can’t sleep. Every single time I close my eyes, I see your face the day I told you. I will never forgive myself for what I did..
I know I deserve to feel this way, but I don’t know how to get through it.
Sometimes it scares me how little I care about anything at all.
I’ve written you so many of these letters.
I’ve thought about calling you, but you said you don’t want to talk to me.
I hope you’re surviving this better than I am because most days surviving feels too hard.
I would take it all back if I could. You were the best thing that ever happened to me.
You completed a part of me that I will never get back.
You made me feel so safe, so protected, and cherished.
I’ve lost everything…you, my friends, your family, the only place that ever felt like home.
I miss all of it, but I mostly miss the way you hug me. I’d do anything for one of your hugs.
Please forgive me, Dare. I love you more than anything. My heart is still in Brooklyn. With you. Always with you.
Love,
Harlan