Chapter 28 Harlan
When my alarm goes off on Friday morning, I wonder what I was thinking when I planned to go for a run this morning.
I ate far too much food and drank more wine than I should have yesterday, to even go for a light jog.
The wine was in support of Penny, since dealing with her family is…
an experience. All things considered, it was a fairly mellow holiday.
I’m feeling groggy, despite falling into bed at a reasonable time.
It won’t stop me from enjoying tonight’s dinner.
Exercise will be there after I’ve eaten enough turkey, mashed potatoes, and stuffing to sustain me for another year.
In an attempt to keep my mind off spending the entire day with Darío, for the second time in a few days, I check in with everyone to make sure they remember what they’re responsible for.
Wednesday left me with more questions than answers where my feelings for Dare are concerned.
It was hard to get a read on him. Friendship is such a strange way to classify our relationship, because how can we be just friends after all we’ve shared?
I didn’t expect things to feel so easy when I showed up at his house, unannounced.
We fell into a comfortable routine, working alongside each other, as if no time had passed.
On my way to Dare’s, I stop at the deli between our streets for breakfast. Settling on bacon, egg, and cheese on hard rolls for both of us—Dare’s with salt, pepper, and ketchup, and mine with hot sauce—I also get him the largest coffee they have.
I anticipate reluctance on his part for our early start.
A caffeinated Darío is an agreeable Darío.
“I’ll be damned. I must be hallucinating in my old age, because you look like the handsome boy who used to live next door to me,” Allegra’s scratchy voice carries through the window of the brownstone next door.
“There’s simply no way that Harlan would ever be back in this neighborhood without stopping by to say hello.
” Guilt slams into me for not prioritizing a visit with her.
“Hello, Allegra,” I call out. “Let me drop my things, and I’ll be right over.” I hear her window slam shut while I place Dare’s breakfast on his steps. By the time I’m at her door, Allegra has flung it open with a strength that still amazes me for a ninety-year-old woman.
She pulls me into a hug that feels like home before tutting. “You and your baseball player are back together?”
“No, nothing like that,” I tell her. “I just moved back a few months ago, but we’re just friends.” If I sound a little disappointed, she ignores it in favor of assessing me with squinted eyes. “How are your friends at the senior center?”
“Ah, well, I haven’t been able to get there too much.
My grandson insists that I can’t walk alone anymore.
They all want me to sell the house and move upstate.
It’s too quiet up there if you ask me. I told him where to go, because he forgets that I’m the one in charge.
” I laugh because Allegra won’t listen to anyone, least of all her grandchildren.
“Stubborn as ever, Allegra. I’m back in the city for good, and only a few blocks over, so if you need me to drive you to the center, you know I’m more than happy to do that for you,” I assure her.
“It appears your baseball player is waiting for you.” She gestures behind me before taking my hand. I turn to see Dare exiting the house with Craig. “I won’t keep you, but now that you’re back, I expect to see more of your face. I’ve saved a lot of gossip for you.”
“Hello, Mrs. Bianchi,” Dare greets the tiny Italian holding my hand. “I hope you’re well.”
“Good morning, Darío,” she replies. “You’d think that handsome man would stop being so formal after so many years,” she whispers to me conspiratorially. “Go enjoy the day with your friend.” Allegra shoos me off her steps after giving me a kiss, with a promise to have lunch with me soon.
Craig immediately rushes to my feet, jumping in excitement. Once I’ve provided him with the love and attention he deserves, I meet Dare’s eyes. “You look tired already,” I tease. “We’ve got a long day ahead of us, so you better get excited.”
“Another day spent with you bossing me around sounds like something dreams are made of,” he deadpans. I stick my tongue out as I rise to my feet.
“That’s fine. Guess I’ll find someone else to enjoy your breakfast, you ungrateful monster.
” He scoffs, moving to the stairs, where the items in question still sit.
Craig is too busy making sure he pees on the trees lining the walk for Dare to get close enough to take his coffee.
“I bet Allegra would quite enjoy a hot cup of coffee.”
We bicker back and forth, waiting for Craig to do his business.
Once we’re inside, we enjoy our breakfast while we talk through the timeline for the day.
Priority goes to the turkey, which the big, bad baseball player won’t touch without gagging.
“You’ve no problem eating arse, but a turkey is your limit. Make that make sense.”
“Not sure how often you’ve gotten salmonella from eating ass, Harlan, but perhaps you should be more selective about where you put your tongue,” he argues. I let out an unbecoming noise at his insinuation.
“The last arse blessed with my mouth was yours, so not sure what you’re implying about yourself…” The barb is out of my mouth before I realize the implications of the words. His eyes are comically wide, causing a cackle to burst out of me.
“I…” he starts, but fails to contain his own laughter.
“Let’s just get this thing in the oven, yeah?
” I nod quickly, heat flooding my cheeks.
I expect things to feel awkward after, but we breeze through the day with small talk and reminiscing.
It’s such a healing experience, and as we set the table right before everyone is set to arrive, I find myself feeling lighter than I have in a very long time.
With everyone seated around the table and enough food to feed a small army, I take a moment to appreciate being surrounded by this group of people, all of whom have loved and supported me so fiercely.
Dishes are being passed around while multiple conversations filter through the room.
Julian stands, clearing his throat. Slowly, everyone quiets, watching him expectantly.
“Before we all eat, I thought we could start a new tradition, since we didn’t even have a Friendsgiving last year,” he says, perfectly serious.
He looks at me before turning his gaze to Dare, and continues, “I know the last year hasn’t been easy for some of us, but we still have a lot to be thankful for.
I think we should go around the table and share one thing that we are each grateful for.
” Scanning the faces of my friends, some look delighted (AJ), and others look absolutely horrified (Bennett).
“I’ll start,” AJ jumps in eagerly. “I’m thankful that I get to eat all of this delicious food in exchange for bringing some wine.
” When he’s met with a chorus of booing, he relents.
“Ok, fine. I’m also thankful that, in one way or another, the Scorpions brought us all together. I couldn’t do life without you all.”
“So sweet, Alaric,” Julian croons at his best friend’s side.
“I’ll go next. I’m thankful that AJ is the very best best friend, and that he takes such good care of me, always.
” He plants a kiss on AJ’s cheek before taking his seat.
AJ blushes, offering Julian a soft smile.
He leans over to whisper something for Jules’s ears only, making him smile in return.
Penny, Wes, and Bennett go next. When it’s my turn, I consider my words carefully.
I take a deep breath and opt for vulnerability.
“Last year was the hardest of my life. I made a choice that hurt someone that I loved deeply”—I look at Dare—“and that decision led me to a dark place. I wasn’t a good friend to anyone at this table, and I owe you all an apology.
” Pausing for a moment, I meet Penny’s gaze.
“Sitting here with you all makes me realize just how lucky I am. That even at my worst, you still loved me through it. I’m thankful to be back home. ”
I’m met with words of support by everyone, but Dare sits quietly.
Wes, who is sitting next to me, squeezes my knee.
Once everyone settles, it’s Dare’s turn to speak.
“When we started this tradition, after my first season with the Scorpions, it became as important to me as holidays with my family. Last year, I couldn’t imagine doing it without the person responsible for organizing it all.
I’m thankful that Harlan is home where he belongs, with the people who love him.
” My vision blurs, hot tears threatening to fall.
“Ok, that’s enough of the big feelings,” Penny declares.
“Let’s eat!” The boys don’t have to be told twice, picking up their silverware and digging in.
I smile at her from across the table, hoping she realizes how thankful I am for her.
Not only for lightening the mood, but for being my rock through all of the hard days.
“Thank you,” I whisper to Dare. He takes my hand, stroking my palm with his thumb.
He nods, gently squeezing my hand. The contact grounds me to the moment—to him—and I know with every fiber of my being that I will never hurt this man again, for as long as I live.
The rest of the meal is full of laughter and an intense debate over mashed potatoes.
I win—because of course I do—and Dare accepts defeat gracefully.
“Since Harlan and Darío cooked, you heathens all need to help clean,” Penny instructs as she clears the table of dishes.
After she gives everyone a job, she ushers Dare and me out of the dining room.
“Go relax. I’ll make sure this place is pristine before we leave.
” I have no doubt this is true. The guys don’t fuck with Penelope.
“We make a good team,” I tell him when we step into the sitting room.
“You’re giving me far too much credit, Lan. This was all you,” he says on a yawn.
“Nope, we made this happen together, Dare. Thank you for letting me help.”
Wrapping his arm around my shoulders, he pulls me into him so he can plant a kiss in my hair.
I slide my arm around his waist and rest my head on his shoulder.
“We would have been eating pizza without you. I’m so thankful for you, sweetness.
” I lean against him quietly, while an argument between Penny and Jules carries into the living room.
“Bets on who started it?” We both know it’s Penny.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. Curiosity has me reaching for it, since anyone that would text me is in the house. I see Oli’s name on the screen, and I realize that Dare probably saw it, too. I don’t attempt to hide the screen as I open the message, even though my heart is in my throat.
Oliver
Happy Thanksgiving a day late, Harlan. I hope you’ve been well. Tell Penelope I said hello. I hope you enjoyed all the turkey and mashed potatoes that you could manage.
Me
Thank you and Happy Thanksgiving to you, Oli. I’m well, and I hope you are, too. I did, of course. Wouldn’t miss a chance to indulge on the best holiday of the year!
“It’s nothing with him,” I start to explain, but Dare stops me. I have no idea where things are going with him, but I don’t want him to assume that Oliver and I are anything. Rebuilding a foundation of trust with him is important to me, even if it’s only as friends.
“Hey, you don’t owe me an explanation, Harlan. I’m glad that you two are on good terms.” Good terms is subjective, I guess. I’ve not spoken to Oli, not since he left New York, after he flew here to end things. We still follow each other on social media, but that’s been the extent of our contact.
“I know I don’t, but it’s important to me that you know that,” I insist. His expression is unreadable as he considers me. The air around us is heavy with anticipation, but I can’t figure out what exactly we’re anticipating.
“I trust you, sweetness. If there’s something I should know, you’ll tell me,” he reassures me.
He pulls me in for a hug. Burying my nose in his shoulder, I inhale deeply, finding the familiar scent of summer that belongs to him.
Our bubble bursts when our friends descend on us, and I put some distance between our bodies, despite the desire to stay pressed against him.
I’m beginning to lose hope of ever being around him and having my body not respond to his.
Getting back into host mode is easy, as I hug our friends and thank them for coming.
Wes and Bennett are the first ones out the door, followed by Penelope.
I make my way to the foyer to say goodbye to AJ and Julian before I leave, too.
As much as I’m not ready to go, I need some space to gather my thoughts.
Once Dare and I are alone, he releases a long breath.
“I’d say that was quite successful,” I observe. “I’m glad you decided to do this again.” I reach for my coat, yawning long and loud, as I slide my arms in. The thought of pajamas and my sofa is the only thing keeping me on my feet.
Dare opens his mouth to speak, but stops himself, shaking his head. “It was successful thanks to you. Are you ok to drive?” He doesn’t offer to let me stay like he did the other night, but the offer hovers over us, unspoken.
“I am,” I promise. “A cup of tea and Love Island reruns are waiting for me.” He chuckles softly, pulling me against him for another hug. The feel of his beard against my temple almost has me rubbing against him like a cat, but I refrain. I can be civilized. I can.
He holds me for longer than I expect, but I’m not going to rush him. Rushing someone is rude, and I’m not rude. “Thank you again, sweetness. I’m so glad you’re home.” Being in his arms, those words hit me harder than they should. With a kiss to my cheek, he steps back.
“Good night, Dare.” I step into the cold night, testing my self-control to avoid looking back at him. In my car, I sit in the quiet for a moment before driving off. In my rearview, I see him standing at the top of his steps, watching me go.