29. Julian
Chapter 29
Julian
M y entire body ached.
I was at work, and even though it was only mid-morning, I felt like I had gone ten rounds with a sledgehammer. The sledgehammer had, of course, won.
It was only a few days after Sunshine had taken me on the best heat date ever. Yesterday, I’d started feeling the need for extra cuddles. According to the calendar, I wouldn’t officially be in heat for another day or two, but the days leading up to it could be just as bad. No crazy sex drive, not yet, but my skin itched, the world was too loud, and I was cranky. Today, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to be cuddled or left alone.
I hated being out of sorts, but there was nothing for it.
It had been slow around the station house all morning. I finished the herbal tea I’d made to try to balance out my mood and stacked the dishwasher. When I came back out into the living room, I wrinkled my nose.
It smelled weird. I was used to the scent of the chemicals they used to clean the apparatus bay, the turnout gear and other places to make sure the carcinogens weren’t building up, but it was more than that. The station house smelled like the scent-canceling laundry detergent that the fire department bought in bulk. It had a musty after-smell and wasn’t my favorite brand, but it was cheaper than most others.
I decided it was time to clean. I started with the laundry, and stripped the couch of its throw blankets, took all of the sheets off the beds, and grabbed all the used towels, even the hand towels in the kitchen.
When I passed any of the guys I was on duty with, they took one look at my face and the armful of laundry and gave me a wide berth. Good. I didn’t want their weird scents around me anyway.
Logan and Luca had both asked me if I’d wanted to stay home today. I’d told them no, and had snuggled harder against Sunshine, marking her shoulder with my scent.
I wasn’t in heat yet. I was just close. I could suck it up a bit longer.
Besides, the nasty bathroom here wouldn’t clean itself. I knew we deep-cleaned the station house once a week and each shift also spot-cleaned. But there was nothing like kneeling and scrubbing the ever-loving hell out of the tile to make sure it was actually, properly clean.
Once I had the washing machines going, I moved to the bathroom, working until the shower grout, the tile, and sinks were all gleaming. I reorganized the bathroom supplies by color and then moved on to the bedrooms.
No one was asleep, thank heavens, because my instincts were screaming at me to make sure everything was clean, and I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done if I’d had to skip any rooms. I remade all the beds, swept and mopped, and even pulled the bed frames out to get between the wall and the legs of the bed.
The living room was next. My back ached and my hands were pruny from the rubber gloves and cleaning supplies, but I’d already been aching all over, so the new problems just seemed like a distant complaint from my body.
Chloe wandered over to my corner of the living room where I was wiping down the baseboards. “How’s things?”
“Fine.” I muttered. “I’m cleaning this filthy fire station. It’s disgusting.”
“I see.” She paused, then went on. “Do you want to leave early?”
“No,” I snapped, immediately regretting it. I sat back on my heels and looked up at her. “I’m okay.”
The door swung open, and we both looked over to see Chuck appear. He took a moment to look around the sparkling clean living room, then a shit-eating grin appeared on his face. “The nice thing about having an omega around is things stay clean. Almost makes the mood swings worth it.”
My temper popped. I threw my cleaning towel down and leapt to my feet. “I’m going to punch you in your freaking face.”
Chloe looped her arm around my waist long enough to keep me from taking more than a step forward, then let go. “He’s not worth it. He’s a whiny little piece of garbage.”
“Right.” Chuck snarled. “I’m just one of your crew that has to cover your shifts while you get to lay around and get fucked. Wish I was an omega and I got to skip off of work every couple of months for a fuck fest.”
I growled, all the hairs standing up on the back of my neck. Chloe hovered beside me, her hand outstretched near my arm, but she didn’t touch me, something I was grateful for. My skin crawled at the thought of any skin-on-skin contact that didn’t come from my pack. Then the stand-off was interrupted as another voice boomed through the living area.
“Do you, now?” Jackson, the battalion chief, stood on the other side of the room, arms crossed. I wondered where he’d been to be so close by. Maybe the kitchen or laundry room.
Chuck’s face turned white, and I didn’t bother hiding my glee. Chuck was usually careful not to be so obvious around other people.
I could always tell Jackson or any of the other two rotating BCs that Chuck was harassing me. But the thought of essentially saying ‘he said mean things’ made me stubborn, because I was determined not to appear weak as an omega in any way. I was a big boy. I could deal with heckling and lewd comments.
Chuck cleared his throat. “Sir. I didn’t mean anything by it. Kahele and I were joking around.”
“Right.” Beside me, Chloe crossed her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrows. “Just like the other day, when his beta was visiting, and you asked Kahele if his pack was open to another alpha?”
“Well, now.” Chief Jackson cocked his head. The chief was an older alpha, with neatly trimmed salt and pepper hair. He was probably in better shape than me, and exuded calm authority. All of the battalion chiefs in our company were competent, but Jackson was the best of them. He kept every single emergency moving efficiently with as little stress as possible.
The chief looked at me. “Is that true?” It was a simple, seemingly innocent question.
But my skin had started to feel uncomfortable and prickly, and I wanted to snarl at the lot of them. I didn’t like dealing with this sort of thing on a good day, much less the day before I went into heat.
I huffed. “He did. But if I’d really been offended, I would have come to you.”
“Sounds like Kahele is being pretty reasonable, consider the level of harassment that’s been going on…and for some time, apparently.” The chief leveled a steely glare at Chuck. “When you rotated into this company, I told you we don’t tolerate harassment. Not to any designation, or gender. There is enough stress to deal with on the job. No one needs to be worrying whether everyone on your crew has your back.”
Chuck rolled his eyes. “Kahele’s used to it. He’s an omega firefighter; he knew what he was signing up for.”
Hackles raised, I glared at the alpha. “But that doesn’t mean it’s okay. What year do you think this is— 1890?”
“Here’s what we’re going to do.” Chief Jackson stabbed a finger at Chuck. “You aren’t going to say anything to Kahele that you wouldn’t say to me. If I hear that you’ve said one thing out of line, you’re suspended without pay.”
I blinked, shocked the chief would take it that far. I tried to hide my embarrassment and concern. If Chuck got suspended because of me, wouldn’t there be some sort of backlash?
Chuck glared. “Oh, come on, we were just kidding around.”
Chief Jackson gave him a steely look that had me and Chloe straightening up.
“Yeah?” Chuck crossed his arms over his chest. “If we’re suddenly enforcing rules around here, then why don’t you suspend Kahele, too? He’s perfuming all over the place while he’s at work. How am I supposed to concentrate?”
“Make up your mind, Chuck,” I snapped. “Either I shouldn’t be here because my heat’s an inconvenience to you, or I shouldn’t be taking heat leave because that puts you out.”
Holding up his hand, Chief Jackson walked over to stand right in front of Chuck and gave him a direct command. “Meet me in my office.”
Chuck opened his mouth to say more, but the chief just gave him a look, and he changed his mind. Then he stomped away like a whiny toddler.
The chief looked at me. “You’re not in heat, obviously. Would you like to finish your shift, or would you like to go home?”
I stood up to my full height. “I’m okay. I did a hormone panel this morning before I came in to make sure.”
“We appreciate the deep clean.” Chief Jackson nodded. “Is there anything else you would like to add? Anyone else bothering you?”
I shook my head. “You don’t have to suspend Chuck. I can deal with it.”
“I will be suspending him—for breaking protocol multiple times. That’s my job. We don’t tolerate harassment.”
I swallowed, grateful he actually cared enough to follow through on policy.
“We don’t need Chuck’s behavior turning into a bigger issue in the field. Based on Chuck’s anger, I don’t think it would be safe to pair you two together in the field.”
I couldn’t help but feel guilty, even though it wasn’t my fault. It was hard to undo the years of social conditioning telling me I was a sex bomb and that alphas literally couldn’t help themselves around me. It had only been fifty years ago that the law had changed to make it a crime to rape an omega.
“Yes, sir,” I said, still feeling like this was my fault.
Chloe flicked at my shirtsleeve. “Chuck is an asshole to everyone, Julian. Especially you, but he has a chip on his shoulder. We all see it. The chief’s decision will make calls less tense.”
“Which is why this is the right decision.” Chief Jackson nodded. “Finish cleaning the living room and then head home. You’re going to need to save some energy to clean your own house.”
My instincts twitched. Chief was right of course. Ohmygod, I would need to clean from top to bottom. It was filthy.
“Your heat leave starts tomorrow.” He nodded at Chloe. “We already have the schedule worked out. You’ve got a new beta, and that alone is going to throw the dynamics off a little.”
“Sorry, Chief…” I started an apology, but he smiled.
“Don’t worry about it, Kahele. It’s the best reason for your pack dynamics to be shifting.”
I almost told him we hadn’t bonded Sunshine—yet—but it didn’t seem to matter that she wasn’t bonded into the pack.
I went back to scrubbing the living room and finished with the kitchen. Thoughts swirled in my head, but I didn’t give voice to anything. Chloe stuck around to see if I was okay. Once I resumed my manic scrubbing, she told me to let her know if I needed anything and fled for the weight room.
Finished, I told Chloe I was going home and left early. I arrived at the house sore and annoyed.
I opened the door, the familiar scents of pack and home rushing over me, soothing all my frazzled nerves.
It was dead quiet. For once I had the house to myself. It was sort of nice. I plopped down on the couch, wishing I’d thought to get food out of the fridge before sitting down.
I texted the pack group message, telling everyone I’d come home early, that I was fine, and there was no need for anyone else to leave work.
The replies started a few moments later.
Luca:
I can leave now, pick up some food on the way home.
I grinned.
Julian:
No. I’m going to clean our filthy house, and I don’t need your sexy alpha scent around distracting me.
Sunshine:
Are you sure?
I only have one more meeting. I can help.
Luca:
Yeah, we can help. ;) ;) ;) ;)
Through our bonds, I felt his arousal and amusement. I knew he would love nothing better than to come home and fuck me. On the floor. On the couch. In our bed. In the nest.
I shivered at the thought, my cock getting hard. But my skin still felt too tight, and the itch in my brain saw every speck of dust.
Julian:
Tomorrow.
I’m taking heat leave starting tomorrow.
Let me have my OCD meltdown in peace.
Thankfully, they both agreed, and I was free to start my deep-clean of the house. I knew it was actually already clean, since Logan was the neat freak of the pack. But the itchy part of my brain that was all omega instinct insisted everything be scrubbed and washed and wiped down.
An hour later, I looked around, satisfied that I’d made progress. I was also annoyed that I was alone.
Where was my pack?
Oh, right. I’d told them to stay away. I grumbled at my own contrary impulses and resumed scrubbing the kitchen floor. I’d put rubber pads on my knees and had my favorite scrub brush that made the most satisfying scritch scritch sound.
When the door opened unexpectedly, I reared back, automatically lifting the brush to pitching position, ready to throw it at the intruder. Logan’s and Luca’s bond had gone back to the reassuring steady hum that meant they were focused on work, so I knew it wasn’t them.
It was Sunshine, looked adorably rumpled, in flared jeans and a dressy blouse, with her hair up in a simple ponytail. She had two big bags of what smelled like Thai food in her arms.
I perked up. “You brought food.”
“I did.” She took the bags to the kitchen table. After setting out plates and silverware, she unpacked the food. The whole time, she didn’t even bat an eye at what I was doing, even though I had to look unhinged in my rattiest t-shirt, old shorts, and rubber knee pads. I’d casually put the scrubbing brush back down, so at least I didn’t look like I had totally lost my grip on reality.
“I’m on a cleaning spree,” I warned. I got up and washed my hands, because I was starving. I’d been too focused on cleaning to think about eating.
“I can stay and help.” Sunshine beamed like I’d offered her an afternoon of lazing about on the couch.
As she straightened up and smiled at me, my gaze dropped to her breasts, and the nice things the blouse was doing for them. Perhaps she’d be interested in an afternoon getting sweaty for better reasons.
But the house , my instincts scream-whispered at me. We have to clean all the things . I lifted my eyes back up to hers and gave a wry smile.
“I’m grumpy. And demanding. And I’ll probably tell you that you’re not scrubbing hard enough.”
Sunshine nodded like this made perfect sense, then focused on a container of Pad Thai. She always got all the toppings on the side, because Luca was allergic to peanuts but loved Thai food.
My heart thumped, and I closed the distance between us, pulling her into a fierce hug as I took in her scent, all fresh linen and sky.
I needed her. As much as I needed Luca and Logan. But I had to be so very careful with her, and not push. She needed time and space to heal, and to build trust that the alphas and I wouldn’t hurt her.
But, oh, I was not a patient person.
“That’s fine.” She twirled a plastic fork in the container then lifted them up to my lips. I took a bite. The soft chewy noodles and creamy, brown sauce filled my senses and I was suddenly ravenous. I pulled her to sit beside me in the bench seat.
“You say that now,” I said through a mouthful of basil roll.
Sunshine nodded again, filling both of our plates. “I know what an omega going into heat is like. Ember is worse. She would have rearranged the house at least twice by now. Stella and Luna go on manic cleaning sprees before their heats. I’m a good little worker bee. I do what I’m told.”
Heat flared through me, and I nipped at her shoulder. “I bet you are.” Then I stopped myself. “Wait no.” I scooted away. “We can’t have sex yet. The house needs to be scrubbed.”
I stood up to get back to the kitchen, but Sunshine grabbed my arm. “Food first. And while you eat, you can tell me how you want things done and in what order.”
Music to my ears.
My beta listened carefully as I walked her through my cleaning schedule, and she made sure to ask questions about the steps that would keep me happy. It was a damned useful thing that her sisters and cousin were omegas, if it meant that the way I was right now wasn’t freaking her out.
While we finished up our meal, Sunshine showed me some really cool cleaning hack videos that made me way too happy, and then we got to work. She changed into some of my old shorts and t-shirt, and I direct her to the living room where she dusted, polished, and wiped down.
“Loud music?” Sunshine pointed at the music player. “Ember makes these epic playlists. She has one for cleaning that makes it feel like fun.”
The idea of Sunshine, me, a scrub brush, and loud music made me feel good. Usually I cleaned in grumpy silence, uncomfortable in my own skin. “You know what? Yes.”
We danced while cleaning the entire house. My funky mood lifted, and I settled into the pure satisfaction of cleaning the hell out of the house.
We might have only been dating a month, but I was already head over heels for her. I had to be patient, or I would push her away. But my instincts were pushing me , and it was all I could do not to beg Logan and Luca to give her a bondmark each.
Then she would be mine forever.
I would never take her choice away like that, but my instincts didn’t agree with my logic.
She was mine.