Chapter 20 #3
With a small shake of her head, Genevieve turned and moved to stand at the parlor window. While he could see her profile, her unemotional expression revealed nothing as to what she might be feeling. With as much gentleness as he could, he reached out to her with his voice.
“Genevieve, I’m asking you to do something difficult. I’m asking you to trust me when I tell you that your past means nothing to me.” The moment he spoke the soft words, Genevieve whirled around to face him, gone was the stony contempt. In its place was a cold, excoriating anger that startled him.
“You keep saying my past doesn’t matter,” she bit out with a vitriol mixed with contempt as she looked as if she wanted to eviscerate him. “But it mattered a great deal to you that night when I said I couldn’t give you an heir.”
“And where the fuck did you get that absurd, one might even say delusional, idea?” he snarled, his anger raw and visceral.
“From you,” she sneered. “You made it quite clear my inability to give you an heir changed everything, Lord Selbourne.”
“Me?” Theo growled with restrained outrage as once again she charged him with caring more about his position in society than her. His eyes narrowed at Genevieve. “The only thing I said about your past that night was that it didn’t matter to me.”
“And yet, your silence after you learned the full truth of my situation spoke volumes, my lord. That’s how I know my past does matter to you.”
The bitterness in her voice made Theo’s entire body jerk as Genevieve threw her indictment out into the air. The blunt delivery of her words was like a physical blow from a sparring partner. For a moment, he could only stare at her in disbelief as she directed a frosty glare in his direction.
“That’s how you arrived at that conclusion? My silence?” Theo said in a low voice, his jaw so hard with rage it hurt.
“What other conclusion is there?” she snapped.
Her stoicism had vanished, her face now reflecting anger, contempt, and pain. A stark pain that said she’d been devastated that night. It eased his anger somewhat as she continued, her voice filled with humiliation.
“You did nothing—said nothing—to make it clear you didn’t care about my past. That’s how I knew,” she spat out with savage vitriol. “That’s how I knew an heir was too important to you for you to overlook my past. It was how I knew you could never truly love me.”
“Did it ever occur to you that I didn’t know what to say?” Offended by her assumption, his voice was sharp as steel.
He resented her accusation that he was incapable of loving her enough to not care that she couldn’t give him an heir. The fact that she’d so easily jumped to that conclusion stung worse than a hornet.
Theo saw a look of surprise sweep across her features, her eyes going wide in her face.
Gritting his teeth, Theo folded his arms across his chest to keep from reaching out to give her a hard shake for not giving him the benefit of the doubt.
In the back of his head, he heard Peter’s voice remind him how difficult it was for Genevieve to trust anyone.
Theo blew out a harsh breath of regret and frustration. He should have known how Genevieve would react to his silence that night, but thinking straight in the face of her confession had been impossible.
“I wasn’t just stunned by what you’d told me, Genevieve. I was even more enraged than the night Simpson assaulted you. I wanted to kill Ruckley for what he’d done, but how could I kill a man who was already dead?”
Theo drew in a deep breath as he saw her pale at his words. Regret was reflected in her green eyes, and one hand was pressed into the base of her throat as she stared at him in amazement.
“I felt pain and sorrow knowing you’d never hold a child of your own in your arms. Our child.
I couldn’t form two words, let alone a full sentence to tell you what I was feeling.
I was overwhelmed with rage, sadness, and the bitter knowledge that there was nothing I could do to take your pain away from you.
“I knew I could never give you back what you’d lost, no matter how badly I wanted to.
Standing there, staring at you, I was forced to accept that no matter how deeply I love you, there will always be a small piece of you that I can’t help heal.
A part of you that is forever damaged and painful inside you.
That’s why I was silent, not because you couldn’t give me an heir, but because I’d never felt so goddamn helpless in my entire life. ”
Theo paused, his eyes taking in her dazed expression. Tears glistening in her eyes, a single teardrop rolled down her cheek. His anger and frustration vanished, and he took a quick step forward and brushed it off her cheek.
“You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known, Genevieve.
Anyone else would have crumpled under the weight of what you endured as a child.
But not you. You’re fearless. Courageous.
You’re undaunted in your determination not to surrender to anyone who tries to control or manipulate you.
You’ve walked through the fires of hell, Genevieve, and emerged the stronger for it.
“You keep trying to make me believe you’re unworthy of my love, mo ghràdh, but you’ve never been so wrong in your entire life.
In the face of your strength, I’m the one who’s unworthy, Genevieve, not you.
I can’t begin to imagine what you experienced at the hands of that bastard, but I can only hope you’ll let me love you the way you deserve to be loved.
That you’ll give me the chance to show you the happiness life has to offer when you’re loved regardless of your past.”
Theo swallowed hard as he studied her intently.
Emerald eyes wide and glistening with tears, she was trembling so badly he was afraid she might fall to the floor.
He wanted to reach out and pull her into his arms, just to reassure her how much he adored her.
But he remained still. For once, he was going to let her make her own decision.
A small sob escaped her, and she threw herself forward and buried her face in his shoulder.
Wrapping his arms tight around her, he closed his eyes and shuddered.
She was back in his arms, and he would do anything to make her understand it was where she belonged.
Where she was safe. Where she was loved no matter what had happened in the past.
§ § §
Genevieve clung to Theo’s hard strength as if her life depended on it.
A tremor rippled through her as a dam broke inside her.
Hot and heavy, her tears flowed steadily as she pressed her face into his shoulder.
Strong arms held her tight against him, his head bent as he whispered words of love and comfort in her ear.
Every word he’d uttered moments ago had reverberated with a heartfelt devotion that had left her humbled and breathless.
How could she have underestimated him so terribly?
And for the man to claim he was unworthy of her was the height of absurdity.
She hiccupped as her tears began to ebb, and she lifted her head.
Theo offered her a white handkerchief he pulled from his coat pocket, the warm smile she loved so much tipping his lips upward.
“I believe this is the first time I’ve ever seen you cry,” he murmured as he brushed away a new tear threatening to roll down her cheek.
“I always find someplace private to cry, usually my bedroom. I don’t like to let anyone see me cry.”
“Instead, you allow everyone else to cry on your shoulder when they need comfort,” he said softly. “Always tending to the pain of others and neglecting your own. Never hide your tears from me, mo ghràdh. If you wish to cry, I want to be holding you so you know you’re not alone.”
“Can you forgive me for misjudging you so harshly?”
“Hmm, perhaps,” he said, his brow furrowed in a thoughtful frown, before he grinned with more than a hint of mischief. “But first you must admit I was right when I said we were made for each other.”
“Yes, you were right,” she said with exasperation, but her smile softened her words.
“And second, you must agree to become Lady Selbourne.” There was just a hint of concern in his voice as he studied her with a raised eyebrow.
“If you’re certain—”
“So help me God, Genevieve. If you finish that question, I’ll make you regret it,” he growled. “Now tell me you’ll marry me.”
“Yes,” she whispered as hope and wonder unfurled inside her and sped its way through her until she was warm with happiness and joy.
“And the remainder of that statement?” Theo’s eyebrows arched with annoyance.
“Yes, I’ll marry you,” she whispered with a soft smile.
“Thank you,” he said with a weary sigh of relief. “I’m beginning to wonder if you enjoy testing my patience.”
“You just like getting your own way,” she huffed. “But if you expect me to just sit down and do as I’m told, you—”
Theo immediately silenced her with a hard kiss that quickly spiraled out of control. His firm mouth teased hers, and the moment she sighed with pleasure, his tongue slipped past her lips to dance with hers. When she released another moan, he broke off their kiss and pushed her away from him.
“You go to my head, mo leannan, and I’m not about to torture either of us by starting something we can’t finish here.” Theo shook his head.
A gentle tap on the parlor door made him put more distance between the two of them, as he turned and commanded the individual to enter. Muireall opened the door a small amount and poked her head into the room.
“I apologize for interrupting, but dinner will be ready soon. Is all well?”
Theo smiled, then turned and stretched out his hand to Genevieve. Her palm slid across his as he entwined his fingers with hers.