33. Shane
Shane
“Uncle Shane!” the cutest three-year-old in the world shouts, sprinting across the living room. Her blonde curls bounce with every step, and my chest grows warm.
“Maggie!” I bend down to let her leap into my arms.
I swear I’m not a softie, but I fucking love this kid.
“Where’s your mom?” Nik asks.
“Outside.” She points out the backdoor to where Ash stands, talking to our mother on the deck.
Every time I see Maggie… God, she looks just like Gabe.
I hate lying to him.
“Shane, Nik,” Ash shouts, rushing into the house in a bright yellow sundress.
“You look great. Jesus,” Nik exclaims, hugging my sister.
“I think you look like a peep,” I grumble.
Ash’s smile disappears, and she glares at me over Nik’s shoulder. “Fuck you.”
“Dat’s a bad word,” Maggie scolds.
“Yeah, Ashton, that’s a bad word. Watch your mouth in front of the children.”
I laugh as she rolls her eyes again.
“I hate you,” she mutters, going back to talking to my girlfriend.
“Come on, Mags, let’s go find someone interesting to talk to,” I throw over my shoulder, grabbing Maggie’s hand and winking at Nik.
Nik was quiet on the drive here. Typically, when we’re headed to see Ash, she’s damn near vibrating from excitement. But she has been working late every night at the bar, and she’s been exhausted.
As people filter in, we find spots at a table with Jess and her friend Travis. They seem like they’re dating, but she swears they aren’t.
He’s the lead singer for a rock band that just recently started to take off. He’s alright, I guess. At least he doesn’t act like Nik and I have the fucking plague like the rest of them do.
If I had a dollar for every time my mother has shot me a dirty look…
“Shane,” Casey says, nodding at me as he approaches.
“Hey, man.” I hold out my hand, and he shakes it.
I don’t like him.
His expensive-ass clothes…
I bet he’s the exact kind of man my mother’s dreamt of Ash dating.
My eyes find the vile woman across the deck, smiling and entertaining like she’s just a ray of fucking sunshine.
“How’s it going?” he asks.
I snap back to the stuffy prick. “Good. You?”
“Good.” He nods. “You guys should come to the house sometime. We just got the pool finished. We’d love to have you.”
“Okay.”
“I know things have been kind of weird between everyone, but I think your sister would really love to see you more.”
Great. He’s heard my mother say I never come around, and I’m just a big letdown, and he thinks he can swoop in and make me feel guilty, so I’ll come around more.
“Yeah,” I say not looking at him. Fuck this conversation. “Ash and I are fine. Thanks though.”
“Are you? When’s the last time you called?”
I stand. “That’s none of your business.” Smacking him on the back, I add, “It was nice seeing you.”
I wanted to tell him to fuck off, but you know, I’m trying to be a decent person. The new, clean Shane.
Except… I’m not really clean, everyone just thinks I am. Turns out when you’ve been an addict for this many years, you get pretty damn good at keeping it under wraps.
The old Shane would have just knocked his too-white teeth down his throat.
“I’m so glad you could come!” Ash ambushes me, wrapping her arms around my middle.
I stumble back a little. “Me too. Where’s Gran?”
“She wasn’t feeling well. Said she’s been lightheaded off and on all weekend.”
“Weird. I swung by yesterday to see her and she was napping, but she called last night and said she was planning to come.”
She shrugs, then beams at me. “You know you could visit anytime! We have extra space and—”
“I don’t think your husband would be real fond of your piece-of-shit brother hanging around.”
Her head tilts. “Shane.”
Fucking pity.
“No. Casey would love to have you. I told him you’re doing really well. That your clean…” Her gaze drops to my tremoring hands as the words leave her lips and her brows draw together.
I shove them in my pockets and avert my eyes.
She scoffs and looks away. “How long?”
I shake my head.
“How. Long.”
“A couple months.”
She huffs a laugh. “Unbelievable. So what? You just gave up?”
Sucking my teeth, I shift on my heels.
Tears well in her eyes, but she bats them away.
“Ashton, I’m fine.”
She nods, her normal, chipper tone clipped to stone. “Yeah. It was good to see you. I’m really glad you came.”
She doesn’t wait for me to say anything before turning on her heel and walking away.
Eventually, everyone starts to leave, and Denny makes his way over to where we’re sitting. He kisses the top of Jess’s head and nods at Travis before turning his attention to me.
I never really had a relationship with him. I was already causing trouble at school when he started seeing my mother. I know I wasn’t perfect, and I probably deserved to be grounded a time or two.
But also… he’s on her side, obviously, so fuck him too.
“Shane.” He nods. “I’m glad you guys could come.”
“Yeah, we wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Then she appears at his side like she’s popped out of a puff of green smoke, deliberately not looking at Nik. She doesn’t even know her, but Nik stood up for me and that’s enough for my mother. Well, and the fact that she hangs out with the likes of me.
“Mom.”
“Are you staying long?” she asks without even saying hello.
“No, we have to get back. We both have to work tomorrow.”
“That’s a pretty far drive for just a couple of hours.”
I can’t tell if she’s trying to make small talk or point out that I shouldn’t have come. We don’t speak at all anymore.
“We don’t mind. We wanted to be here for Maggie.”
She eyes me, and I know she’s about to spit venom before the words leave her mouth.
Her lip curls as she says, “You look terrible.”
“Gee, thanks.” I try to keep my tone flat.
Who says shit like that?
“Do us a favor, and don’t come next time if you’re still strung out,” she spits before storming off.
I swallow and grab Nik’s hand to keep her from jumping up and pummeling my mother at a fucking birthday party.
“Let’s go home.”
“Shane, you don’t have to—” Jess starts.
“It’s fine. We need to get going anyway.” I stand and hug her. “It was good to see you guys.”
As quickly as possible, I say my goodbyes to Ash and Maggie. I’m never coming back to deal with this bullshit again.
I’m done.