22. Noah
NOAH
Emery liked me.
Emery really liked me.
Not in a, ‘I like you because you’re my bodyguard’ way. Not in a, ‘I like you because you’ve agreed to be my fake husband’ kind of way. Not in a, ‘I’m lonely and you’re the only person around who’s warm and has a heartbeat.’
No, Emery liked me in a ‘I wanted to touch you and have you touch me back’ kind of way.
I was in heaven.
After our make out session in the hot tub, we walked back to our rooms hand in hand. There was something so complete about threading my fingers through hers as we moved around the hotel. I was telling the world that this woman was mine and she was a willing participant in that display.
She wasn’t doing it for the camera’s or for Charles. She was touching me because she wanted to touch me and there was nothing more sexy or attractive than that desire.
I had officially fallen for Emery Torres and I couldn’t believe that there was even the slightest chance that she could feel the same for me.
We were standing outside of her room now. Her fingers were still entangled with mine. I was trying hard not to celebrate that she hadn’t let go. Did that mean she wanted me to stick around? That she wasn’t ready for this night to be over like I wasn’t ready for the night to be over?
She glanced up at me through her lashes and my entire heart took off running. I knew that look. I knew what that meant.
“Let me go shower, get some of this chlorine off, and then we can continue?”
I was actively fighting off images of her in the shower so I just nodded.
Emery had finally let her guard down and kissed me willingly.
The last thing I would ever do was push her beyond where she was comfortable.
Even though my desire for her coursed through my veins with every beat of my heart, what I wanted didn’t matter.
All I cared about was that she was comfortable.
“Of course,” I said as I moved to loosen my fingers so she could slide her hand away.
I stopped when she tightened her grip. I glanced down to study her, worried that I’d done something wrong.
Her gaze was forward as she stared at my chest. Then slowly, she brought up her gaze to meet mine.
I hated that she looked so unsure. So nervous.
It was almost as if she feared that if she let me go, I’d float away.
I decided to take action in that moment. Most of our relationship had been me holding back, waiting to see what she was going to do. Not today. I was going to take charge so she didn’t have to worry about making a choice.
I dipped down and pressed my lips to hers.
Joy exploded in my chest when she returned the kiss.
Part of me had feared that she was going to pull away.
That I’d misread our relationship and she would retreat when I acted.
But, her lips against mine told me, she trusted me and there was nothing else in this world I wanted more.
I finally broke our kiss, pressing my forehead against hers and kept my eyes closed. If she didn’t walk away right now, I was going to pull her to me and never let her go.
“Go. Shower.” I commanded, my voice low.
She giggled. The sound was salve to my broken soul. “Okay,” she whispered.
I didn’t step back when she turned, rested her keycard to the black pad, and then pressed the handle down as soon as the sound of the lock disengaging filled the air. She held my gaze as she pushed into the room and I didn’t move until the door was securely shut behind her.
Now alone, I blew out my breath as I searched for my keycard.
Once I was inside my room, I flipped on the shower and climbed out of my swim trunks.
I was still anxious when I finished washing my body and turned the water off.
With a towel wrapped around my waist, I stepped out of the shower.
After deodorant and cologne, I made my way into my room where I dressed in my sweatpants and a basic t-shirt.
I ran the towel over my hair a few times before I hung it up in the bathroom.
My focus was on our adjoining door. Every sound had my ears pricking in anticipation.
I wasn’t sure what door she was going to come through or if she was even planning on joining me.
I forced myself to accept the fact that there was a high likelihood that she might change her mind once she got some distance from our situation.
I didn’t doubt her feelings for me, I just worried about her readiness to feel them.
I’d all but given up on the hope that she was going to join me when a soft knock came from our adjoining door.
The sound had me sitting straight up from where I’d been leaning against the headboard.
My feet were on the ground and I was standing before I even knew that I was moving.
As soon as I got to the door, I turned the handle and pulled it open.
Emery’s wide eyes greeted me. Her hair was damp and brushed straight.
Her lips and cheeks look pinker than normal and I wondered if she’d put on some makeup.
She was wearing a pair of pajama pants and a cotton t-shirt.
My body warmed at how cozy and relax she seemed.
It was such a stark contrast from how her body language had been on the first day I met her in her office.
“You can just come in,” I said as I stepped to the side and nodded for her to join me.
“Oh,” she said, her voice soft and shy.
The sound ignited an inferno in my stomach and I had to clench my fist out of fear that I was going to reach out and grab her.
How she felt out in the hallway didn’t mean that was how she felt now that she had time to process what we’d just done.
I was half expecting her to tell me that she’d made a mistake and to forget everything that had transpired between us.
But, as I watched her walk into my room, my fear began to lessen.
Maybe she really did like me and maybe, she wanted to be here.
I kept the adjoining door open just in case she changed her mind as I move to follow her.
She stood next to my bed with her right forearm resting on her stomach while her right hand held onto her left elbow.
She glanced around like she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do.
I didn’t want to force her to go further than she was wanted, but I also didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable with me just standing there, watching. So I moved to my side of the bed and sat down. I brought my feet up onto the mattress as I rested against the headboard once more.
“Wanna join me?” I asked as I motioned to the empty space next to me with my head.
Emery glanced at the mattress and then over to me. Anticipation built between us until she finally nodded and climbed onto the bed. My heart soared when she snuggled in next to me instead of sitting with space between us.
Out of instinct, I freed my left arm so I could wrap it around her shoulders.
That seemed to be what she was waiting for as I actively felt her body relax against mine.
She wiggled and slid down so she could lay her head on my chest. Her hand rested just below her chin and the heat from her palm felt like it was burning a hole in my skin.
This was perfection. I was never going to let her go.
Her giggle confused me. I leaned my head forward so I could peek down at her. All I could see was her soft smile as it played on her lips.
“What?” I asked as I relaxed back and pulled her tighter to me.
“Just…” She started to fiddle with the material of my shirt. “Thinking about what Abigail would say if she could see us.”
Her feather light touches were driving me wild so I reached out and wrapped my fingers around her hand to stop her. Emery had already opened the door on us and the last thing I wanted her to do was slam that door closed because I misread the situation.
She didn’t pull away, instead she shifted her hand so she could thread her fingers through mine. With every movement—every touch, I was gaining more and more confidence that she wanted me. She wanted to be here.
“Oh really?” I asked as I tipped my head back and closed my eyes. I wanted to live in this moment. Emery on my chest with my arm wrapped around her, listening to her talk. “What would she say?”
Emery paused before I felt her shrug against my ribcage. “I told you so.”
I laughed. I could not only see her saying that, I could hear her voice in my ears. “For sure.”
“She’s so astute, it’s frustrating.”
I nodded. “I agree.”
“She would tell me it was about time that I fell for my fake husband.”
Fake. That’s right. For Emery, this had started out as fake. For me, it had always felt real. I tighten my grip on Emery, grateful that I hadn’t been the only one who’d fallen.
“I could see her saying that,” I said as I nodded, Abigail’s face flashing in my mind.
When Emery didn’t respond right away, I lifted my head and peeked down at her, wondering if I’d said the wrong thing. She hadn’t pulled away, instead, she was fiddling with my hand as she threaded her fingers through mine before pulling them out again.
“Noah?” Her voice was soft like she was nervous to speak.
That was the last thing I wanted this woman to ever feel around me—fear. In an effort to stop thinking, I closed my eyes once more and relaxed back against the headboard. “Mhmm?”
“What is Saturday to you?”
I opened my eyes and stared up at the ceiling.
That was a loaded question and I feared what kind of response she was wanting.
Did she wanted me to say that I was okay with it being real if she wanted it to be?
Or did she want me to say that I was okay with taking things slow and seeing where her and I went?
Even if she called whatever was between us off tonight, I would still show up at the alter on Saturday ready to pledge the next three years to her.
Whatever she wanted was all I cared about.
“What do you want it to be?”
I watched as Emery pushed herself up. She turned her body so she was facing me. Her eyebrows were knit together as she stared down at me. There was so much turmoil in her gaze and all I wanted to do was take her worries away.
“Emery,” I said as I reached up and cupped her cheek with my hand.
My fingers slid through her hair and she tipped her face ever so slightly into my palm.
“I will be there on Saturday ready to marry you no matter what.” I held her gaze.
“Fake or real, I’m here for the next three years. Whatever you need.”
Her lips tipped down into a frown as she studied me. “What about what you need?”
I shook my head. “Doesn’t matter. Right now, it’s not about me. I promised Carson that I would protect his family and I am a man of my word.”
Emery studied me. I could tell she was searching my gaze but I had nothing to hide. I meant everything.
“But, Noah—”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”
She chewed her bottom lip. “But that’s the problem…I do worry about you.”
I ran my thumb over her chin and watched as she released her lip from between her teeth.
Her gaze turned hazy as I reached up and brushed her lip with the same tenderness.
It was so soft and memories of kissing her flooded in my mind.
Everything about our relationship was so backwards.
Getting engaged and then developing feelings wasn’t the path normal couples took.
I wouldn’t walk away from what we had just because of the unknown, but I couldn’t fault her for feeling scared.
I just wished there was something I could say that would calm her nerves.
“Emery, even if you told me you wanted me to go back to being your bodyguard tomorrow, I would be fine with that. If you told me to never talk to you again, you would never hear a peep from me. If you…” My emotions climbed into my throat and squeezed as I fought to say the next few words.
Fear was powerful, but I was going to fight through it. She needed to hear this.
I cleared my throat. “If you asked me to stay by your side for the rest of my life, I would.” I held her gaze. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Emery’s eyes were wide and innocent as she studied me.
Her entire body had stilled and I could see her process my words in real time.
Even though I could see some acceptance to what I said, I could still sense fear just around the corner.
While I was ready to leap into a relationship with this woman, she was still nervous and I was okay with that. Whatever she needed, I would give her.
I was a man of my word.
“Here,” I said as I dropped my hand and patted my chest. “Let’s not worry about it tonight. You’ve had a long day.” I relaxed against the pillows and headboard behind me with the hopes that she would give in and join me.
It didn’t take long before I felt her body relax and my heart sang as she slipped down and snuggled in next to me. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and put enough pressure so she would know that I was here, but not enough to make her feel trapped.
I closed my eyes and felt my body sink into the mattress.
Tomorrow, I’d let myself worry about what this meant for our relationship. Tomorrow, I’d take the time to dissect how I wanted the next three years to go. Tomorrow, I’d face reality.
But tonight, I was going lay here, holding Emery like she was mine—like she was always going to be mine.
Tonight, the only two people who existed was her and I.
And that was all that mattered.