Chapter One #2
Beau stands when I’m not expecting it, and it makes me jump. He narrows his eyes at me before looking me up and down. “What’s going on with you, Magnolia?”
“What?” I ask. “Can I just scrap the fucking car, please?”
I’m losing my patience, but I need to chill out because I don’t have the money to move it.
I just want to scrap it so I can get away from him before I end up word-vomiting my trauma.
I don’t deserve sympathy, and there is no excuse for what I did.
Maybe Chris was my punishment for what I did to Beau.
“Mmm. No. I think I would rather have an answer,” he says as he walks around the counter to stand in front of me. “You come in here after seven years acting sketchy as fuck and expect no one to ask any questions? What happened to you?”
“Nothing. Just forget it. Tow the car for all I care,” I say.
“No,” Beau snaps. “Are you on drugs or something? No one has heard a word from you since you left. You missed every holiday, every birthday, your parents’ funeral… That piece of shit you were dating is now in prison. Is it drug charges? Did he get you into it or something?”
“I’m not on drugs, Beau,” I sigh. I wish it were that simple, honestly.
“What is it? Heroin?” he asks sincerely. “If you need help getting clean, Maggie, I can…”
“Goddamn it, Beau. I’m not on drugs, okay?” I yell at him.
“You show up in the middle of summer wearing a long-sleeved shirt while looking like you haven’t slept in five days, and you expect me not to question it?
” he asks with a dry laugh. “Is it track marks or something? You know I would never judge you, Maggie, but you are full of shit if you say that something is not going on with you.”
“I’m gonna go,” I say tearfully. “I shouldn’t have come here.”
“Fuck. Stop,” he sighs and gently grabs my wrist. “I’m sorry. Please don’t run away again.”
“I hurt you, and I shouldn’t be back. I should’ve known that you would be here,” I say, trying to fight off the demons in my mind.
“I care too much about you to let you walk out of here while I think you are strung out on drugs,” he says.
“I’m not on drugs, despite the fact that I look like shit,” I say.
“I didn’t say you look like shit. You are just as beautiful as you have always been, but you look tired. You look like you have been through a lot, and it’s hard to see anything else without knowing what’s going on,” he says.
“I am tired,” I mention. “I just drove across the country.”
“If you aren’t on drugs, let me see your arms,” he says.
“No,” I say quickly.
“Mag… You of all people know that I have no issue being an asshole when I need to be. When your safety is concerned, I will happily be an asshole,” he says. “Show me.”
“Beau,” I say tearfully.
When he pulls me closer and gently pulls my sleeve up, his entire demeanor goes from concern to anger. This is why I wear long-sleeved shirts. People always have questions about the scars. If they don’t directly ask, they look at me with pity.
“Who did this to you?” he growls. “Did Chris do this shit?”
“Yeah,” I whimper.
“These are burns, Magnolia,” he says, looking up at me. He softens immediately when he sees tears rolling down my face. He squeezes my hands before going to the door and flipping off the sign. “Come on.”
“Where?” I ask, wiping my face.
“To my place,” he says. “Get what you need out of your car.”
“Beau, I…”
“Please don’t argue with me. Please don’t make me have to be the bad guy,” he says gently. “Just let me take care of you. Okay?”
“Why?” I ask. “I abandoned you, Beau. You told me that you loved me, and I fucking ran away. I don’t deserve your kindness. I just want to scrap the fucking car so I can disappear.”
“You’ve lost your damn mind if you think that I’m letting you get away from me again,” he says, lifting my chin.
“I was a stupid kid who didn’t fight for what he wanted.
I should’ve fought for you, but I let you walk away.
Despite what you might think, everyone let you down when we sat here and watched you walk away from us.
Even before your parents died, they knew that you left in search of better things, but you had no intention of cutting everyone off. ”
“And all I got was abuse,” I snap. “For six fucking years, all I got was beaten. I left to go to college, but I never even made it there. I got swept off my fucking feet and promised the world only to be given cigarette burns and scars from being whipped with a belt. I’ve got broken bones and far too many bruises to count.
So, whatever this bullshit sympathy is that you’re dishing out, you can fucking save it.
I hurt you and my parents when I left. Chris was my punishment, and now I have to rebuild.
I don’t need pity. I need to scrap the fucking car so I can survive. ”
“When was the last time you ate?” he asks.
“Will you just-” I start to yell, but he grabs my face and kisses me. Peace instantly sweeps over me, and I relax. When he pulls away, he keeps my face between his hands.
“Here’s how this is going to go, sweet Magnolia,” he says softly.
“I am going to take you to the same diner that we went to every day after school. You are going to eat your favorite meal, and then we are going to go to my house. We are going to take a shower and get a nap. After that, you are going to explain why you came back. We are going to come up with a plan, and I’m going to help you. ”
“Why?” I ask almost inaudibly.
“Because you’re my girl, Miss Magnolia,” he smiles.
“The day I told you that I was in love with you, I also told you that no matter how far you went or how long you were gone, you would always be my girl. I would be a damn liar if I said that I didn’t hope that we could be something more, but I will happily be just your friend.
I will always be in love with you, but I’m not going to force you into something that you don’t want.
I want you to be happy, and you don’t look happy right now. ”
“I’m happy like this,” I admit. “It scares me because he left some of his demons behind in my mind, and I don’t know how to get rid of them.
They haunt my nightmares, and I can’t sleep at night.
I avoid trying because his face is the only thing I see.
I don’t know how to be happy anymore, but I want to remember. ”
“Then let me remind you, Maggie. I know it’s overwhelming. Your mind is trying to convince you that you have to be cautious, but you know me. Right?”
“Yeah,” I say.
“Then you know that I would never hurt you. I would never put my hands on you unless you asked me to,” he says. “Just let me take care of you. Please.”
“Okay,” I whisper.
“Good,” he smiles playfully. “Now I don’t have to tie you up in the trunk.
“You’ve always been a weirdo, Beau.” I laugh and wipe my face. “You are also very demanding.”
“And possessive,” he says with a silky grin. “Come on, pretty girl. Let’s go.”