27. Serena
SERENA
Maybe the secret to a good life is realizing how good it already is.
—Serena’s Secret Thoughts
Rafe
Am I still in the friend zone?
Serena
Safe and sound. Why?
Rafe
I was wondering if my friend could do me a favor.
Serena
As long as we’re not talking a sexual favor, I do owe you for being my date to the wedding.
Rafe
You really are no fun when you want to be, little Kingston.
Serena
You’re not the first person to tell me that lately. What’s the favor, Langley?
Rafe
I want to know why the Revolution just offered the Nobles a third-round draft pick and one of your third stringers for me.
Serena
Holy shit! They did what?
Rafe
They started trade negotiations.
Serena
Were you looking for a trade? I thought Logan and you were basically a package deal.
Rafe
I wasn’t looking for one, but it’s a good deal and a better package.
Serena
How much better?
Rafe
Aww, little Kingston. I always knew you were interested in my package.
Serena
Are you thirteen or thirty, Langley?
Rafe
Very funny. Seriously though, any chance you’ve got an inside line on what’s going on?
Serena
I don’t know anything about it, but I can make a call. I have to ask, though, are you considering it? You know, since your package is better in Philly. LOL
Rafe
Friends don’t know about friends’ packages, Serena.
Serena
If you want me to make that call, you’ll answer the question, Rafe.
Rafe
Yes. I’m considering it.
Serena
Then I’ll make the call and get back to you, friend.
I close out of my chat with Rafe and continue to ignore the unread messages from Hendrix. Space means texting too. At least that’s what I’m trying to convince myself.
“Serena?” I look up from my phone at the beautiful brunette standing in front of me and smile. Technically, she became family when she married Ryker a few weeks ago. “I thought that was you.”
“Hi, Delaney. How are you?” I ask as she stares at the mug in my hand. “Would you like to join me?”
“Oh . . . okay. Just for a few minutes.” She nervously pulls out the chair across from me. “I have to get back to the flower shop, but I wanted to make sure you’re okay. You look a little sad.”
“Umm.” I wipe my eyes and sit back as my fingers absently stroke the tea bag hanging from my mug.
“I guess I am, a little.” I roll my eyes when I realize how ridiculous I probably sound.
“Why are men so complicated?” I ask this woman I barely know.
“Wait—forget I said that. You are hopefully happily married to my cousin. Not everything has to be complicated.”
She laughs, and it’s loud and surprising.
Apparently for her, too, because her face flames red as she covers her mouth.
“Wow. Everything between us has been nothing but complicated from the very beginning. My whole life is complicated. But thanks to Ryker, I’ve realized complicated is manageable when you have someone willing to help you carry the very complicated burdens. ”
Well, damn.
“You know . . .” She runs her finger over her to-go cup and blushes. “I might be way off base here, but Ryker mentioned there was some history and maybe some present happenings, too, between you and Hendrix.”
My eyes snap to hers, and she shrinks back.
“I didn’t mean to overstep, your cousin kind of has a big mouth,” she adds defensively.
“Don’t worry about it,” I tell her. “This town is full of people with big mouths. At least Ryker is Hendrix’s best friend. It’s not like two people who don’t know us gossiping.” Although I’m sure given enough time, that will happen too. “Did Ryker say anything . . . interesting?”
She relaxes a little and a small smile tugs at her lips.
“Just that there’s been something between you two for as long as he can remember and that you both deserve to be happy.
” She shrugs. “Hendrix has really stepped up for me a few times since I moved here. He seems like a really good guy, even if he doesn’t like my pig. ”
That makes me laugh, hard, because while Hendrix loves animals, Delany’s pet potbellied pig, the Notorious PIG, is a little much.
Cute, but in her own way, for sure. “He is a good guy.” I picture him making breakfast in his kitchen and wonder how that could have only been a few weeks ago, when it feels like a lifetime.
But that’s because we have a literal lifetime of good memories between us. “The best, actually.”
“Anyway . . .” She looks down at her hands quickly. “I might have been asked to put in a good word and to see if you were okay.”
“By Ryker?” I ask, confused.
Delaney sips her drink and blushes again. “Sure. Ryker. We’ll go with that.”
Oh, Hendrix . . . Of course you did.
“I’ve got to get back to the shop, but maybe if you want to grab something to eat or a cup of tea one day, give me a call. Ryker says you’re one of his favorite people in the world.”
“Really?” I ask softly. I love my cousin, but I always thought Hendrix got him in the breakup. He may not have known everything, but I’m pretty sure he knew enough. Kind of like Liv.
She nods. “We’re moving later this week. Maybe you could come over for dinner.”
“I’d like that,” I tell her, wondering why I’m on the verge of tears again. “Thanks.”
“Anytime. Bye, Serena.”
“Bye.” I watch Delaney walk through the doors and wonder how much Ryker knows.
And more importantly, how much I care.
Maybe it’s time I stop worrying about everyone else and focus on the people who matter.
Isit at my kitchen table that night with my black and white polka-dot pen in hand and my softbound journal sitting in front of me, running the pad of my finger over another four-leaf clover.
Hendrix gave me this one the summer after college graduation.
But tonight, even the clover isn’t helping me journal.
Nothing is. Maybe it’s because for the first time in a long time, thinking about what happened .
. . about the baby we lost and everything that came after hasn’t caused me to spiral the way it would have even a month ago.
Instead, it’s like my mind is blank and yet somehow completely full all at once.
Like my past is colliding with my future and they’re playing in my mind like an old home movie. A documentary of my life. Of our lives together.
The look on his face after our first kiss.
The sound of his voice the very first time he told me he loved me. The last time too.
His hands on my body.
His lips brushing against my ear as he sang my favorite song under the starlight, dancing with me on the beach at midnight. Promising it was always going to be like this. Me promising it would too.
Fuck this.
I put down my pen and pick up my phone. They have an away game tomorrow, so he should be in a hotel tonight somewhere in Las Vegas.
Serena
Why is this so hard?
Without missing a single beat, the dots start moving.
Hendrix
Because nothing worth having is ever easy. You have to earn the good. If you didn’t, how would you know how sweet it is?
Serena
Wow. That’s a really good answer.
Hendrix
It’s my dad’s. He always said anything worth having was worth earning.
Serena
He’s a smart man.
Hendrix
He is. How are you?
Serena
Missing you so badly, I’m not sure I can breathe sometimes.
Hendrix
Serena, I’m trying to give you space, but I’ve got to be honest, it goes against every fucking fiber of my soul to leave you alone.
Serena
So don’t. I think I was wrong. I don’t think I need space. I just need you. Can we talk when you get home?
Hendrix
Yeah, princess. We’ve got back-to-back away games, so I’ll be home at the end of the week, and I’m supposed to have lunch with Ryker the next day.
Serena
Maybe you could come over after that. You could bring Bodhi. I’d say I could make dinner, but we both know I can’t. It’ll be take-out.
Hendrix
How about I leave Bodhi with Mel so we can talk this time, and then we can do something with all three of us the next time?
Serena
You still want a next time?
Hendrix
With you? I want every time. I love you, Serena.
Serena
Have a good game, Superman.