Chapter 30
LOGAN
It only takes the right person for you to realize your entire life was leading up to them.
—Logan’s Secret Thoughts
“Logan . . .” Waverly slides behind me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders as I lean against Olivia’s bed.
But I don’t want her here. Don’t want any of them here.
I don’t fucking deserve it. I’m not sure I’ll ever deserve them again.
But even knowing that, I wouldn’t do it differently.
Not sure what that says about me. “Look at me.”
“Just go, Waves.” I can’t look at her.
“She’s going to wake up, Logan. Scarlet said it’s just a matter of time.”
“How long?” I growl. “It’s been four fucking hours, and she hasn’t woken up yet.”
I drop my head to Liv’s hand. The one I haven’t let go of since she came out of her MRI.
“She has woken up,” Olivia whispers, and my heart skips a fucking beat.
“Liv?” I whisper, scared to say it too loud.
Scared this will all be a dream, and when I wake up, I’ll have lost them both.
She smiles, then winces. “Why does my head feel like one of the horses stomped on it?” Her eyes swing slowly from me to Waverly, then back. “And why am I in the hospital?”
Waverly sucks in a sharp breath, and I know if I looked at my sister right now, I’d find tears streaming down her face.
“What do you remember, Livvy?” I ask, kissing her hand as the weight of the day threatens to crush me.
Her eyes struggle to focus until they stop and stare, locked in a horror I wish I could take away.
The fight.
The accident.
Everything after—
“I’m going to let your parents know you’re awake,” Waverly tells her, wiping at her cheeks before letting herself out of the dark room.
“We were in an accident,” she whispers. “Oh God, how long have I been out?”
“Four hours.” My words catch in my throat. “But you’re awake now, and that’s all that matters. You have a concussion the doctors want to monitor overnight, but they said I could take you home in the morning.”
Home . . .
I’m not sure it’ll ever feel like home again.
“Somebody hit us,” she whispers as her parents hurry into the room.
“Oh, honey. You’re awake.” Scarlet moves to the other side of Olivia’s bed. She brushes her hair away from her face and stares in awe at her daughter as Cade stands watch behind her. “You scared the hell out of us, Livvy.”
“Sorry,” Liv rasps. “What happened?”
She looks so damn fragile lying in that bed, bathed in the lights from the machines monitoring her.
I’d give anything to wrap my arms around her and just sleep until we woke up to a different world. One where today never happened. But our reality isn’t that easy.
“We were picking up Serena when a truck hit us head-on. Both vehicles spun out and went over the edge of the bridge into the river.” I press my lips against her knuckles, unwilling and unable to let go. “You hit your head. The doctors said we were lucky. It could have been so much worse.”
I rattle off the facts like I’ve already done a hundred times since the paramedics pulled Jasper’s body from my arms.
“Oh no. The other driver—”
“Was Damien Voss,” I fill in for her. “According to the officers who came by an hour ago, he’d been stalking us. And not just me, but the entire family. He blamed us all for ruining his life. They found enough evidence at his apartment to put him away for twenty years.”
“Monica’s fiancé?” she asks, and I nod, so fucking tired.
“According to the officers,” Scarlet continues for me. “He was using her as a ploy to get closer to the Triple Crown. He had some serious issues. Monica is being interviewed at the station now.”
Cade’s grip tightens on his wife, and in that moment, I understand Olivia’s father more than I ever could have before. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to let Liv go again.
As men, we’re told if we’re strong enough, we’ll be able to keep the people we love safe. But strength only goes so far.
“I swear to God if I have to pull in every favor I’ve ever earned, I’ll make sure he pays for this.” She squeezes my hand, her eyes begging me to stay with her. “We’ll make sure neither of them ever gets near Maggie again.”
“That won’t be a problem,” Cade tells Liv.
“What do you mean?” she asks, confused, and leans on me as she tries to sit up. “Did you already handle it?”
I’m not sure what she’s expecting, but when Scarlet looks at me for permission, I nod.
“Monica had gone to the police an hour before the accident. She told them what he’d been doing and what he planned to do. He was on his way to the Triple Crown when he saw the three of you.”
“So he’s been arrested?” she asks and turns her face to me, looking for an answer.
“No, Liv. He hasn’t been arrested. He died two hours ago from his injuries.” All of it still feels like a dream I’m going to wake up from. And I wish I’d just fucking wake the hell up already.
Scarlet runs her hand along the strands of Liv’s hair, careful not to touch her head. “But you’re okay, Livvy. You have to focus on that. You’re okay. A bump on your head. That’s all. You’ll be home tomorrow.”
“Be prepared.” Cade forces a tight smile. “After this, I think your mother is going to look at real estate in New Jersey.”
“Yeah. It’s definitely grown on me.”
My beautiful girl’s eyes close again, and Scarlet and Cade share a look before they both glance my way.
Cade drops a gentle kiss on Liv’s head. “We’ve got a hotel room for the night. We’ll just be around the corner if you need us.”
“I’m going to go tell Serena you’re awake.” Scarlet looks at me again. “We’ll run down to the cafeteria first, to buy you a few extra minutes.” She moves around the bed and cups my face in her hand. “Anything you need, Logan?”
“No, thank you.”
Cade squeezes my shoulder before wrapping an arm around Scarlet. “We’ll be back.”
I nod and watch as they walk out before climbing in bed with my wife and pulling her against my chest. My eyes burn, and my heart pounds as emotion clogs my fucking throat. “I love you, Olivia.”
She closes her eyes and rests her head on my shoulder. “I love you too, Logan. I’m so sorry we fought today. It was so stupid.”
“Yeah, baby. It really was . . .” My words catch.
“Is Jasper pissed about the truck? Do I need to buy him a new one for Christmas?” She forces a weak smile, and my stomach sinks.
“Logan.” She lifts her face to mine, and I see it. The moment she realizes something’s off. “What aren’t you telling me?”
I hear Jasper’s voice in my head and wonder if I could have done more. If I could have saved him. “Listen to me, little brother. I’ll be right behind you. Just get her out and promise me you won’t come back down.”
“I tried, Liv. I tried so fucking hard. The water was so cold, and his seat belt wouldn’t give, and I had to get you out of there. He told me to get you out. He told me not to come back for him, but I did. I got you out, and I went back. I knew I could get to him. I knew I could get him out . . .”
“Oh, God, Logan . . .” she cries. “Is Jasper here? Is he in a different room?”
“I got to him, Liv. I knew if I got to him, I could save him. I just needed to get there, and I did. I fucking did.” My heart fucking aches. “I got to him—”
“Logan . . .”
“It was too late. I got to him and got him out of the damn truck. My legs burned. My lungs burned. But I got us all out. Got us all up. And the paramedics took him. He was so fucking cold. His lips were blue, and he wasn’t breathing.”
“Logan—no.” Her guttural sob is pulled from her chest. “No . . . He’s not gone. No.”
“I’m so sorry. I tried. Fuck, I tried. The paramedics tried. The doctors tried—”
I bury my face in her hair and hold her while she cries.
“Get her out and never let her go.”
I never will, brother.
When I walk out of Olivia’s room later that night, Cade is staring at me from across the hall. He’s leaning against the wall, a cup of coffee in his hand and utter exhaustion carved into every inch of his face. “How’s she doing?”
He looks past me to the closed door, and I close my eyes and suck in a breath, reminding myself I still can. “She’s asleep again. Serena is in there with her now.”
“It’s probably cold, but I got this for you.” He offers me the coffee and shrugs. “You know, I didn’t like you very much when she brought you home.”
“Oh yeah?” I ask sarcastically and lean back against the wall next to him. “Not sure I’d have liked me much either.”
“As a father, you hope the man who marries your daughter will come and ask for your permission to marry her. Of course that was never going to happen with either of my daughters because the only permission their husbands needed was theirs. But you still hope it’ll happen.
Then you just hope the men they marry will love them.
Respect them. Make them happy.” His laughter is rough and tired as he drops his head back and stares at the ceiling.
“You hope they’re good men. And I didn’t know you, Logan.
Livvy didn’t give me the chance to know if you’d be any of those things.
You showed up at my house with my daughter and yours, another cocky hockey player, because apparently my girls have a type. ”
That makes me smile, even just for a single heartbeat.
“But even that first night, it was in your eyes. It was the way you looked at her. The way you spoke to her. To us. It was in every single thing you said and did. It was obvious you’d move heaven and earth for that woman in there, and I knew the two of you would be just fine.
Unconventional or not, you’d be okay. Probably exhausted, because my girl can be a bit extra, but you’d be okay.
” He clears his throat and turns his head my way, not trying to hide the tears in his eyes.
“You had to make a choice today no man should have to make, but you made the right one. Not because she’s my daughter, but because she’s your wife.
You said the vows. You made the promises. Her above everyone and everything.”
“I love her, Cade.” My voice sounds foreign to my own ears. I’m so damn tired.
“Remember that when the guilt sets in, like I’m guessing it’s already started to do.
Remember she’s your wife, and you have to choose her above everything and everyone else.
I didn’t know your brother, and I’ll always regret that, but if he was the same kind of man you are, I’m guessing that’s what he wanted too. ”
“Listen to me, little brother. I’ll be right behind you. Just get her out and promise me you won’t come back down.”
“He did,” I whisper, fighting to keep my shit together. “I just keep thinking I should have been able to get them both out.”
“Sometimes life doesn’t work the way we want it to, son.
It’s cruel and careless. There’s no rhyme or reason.
And we’re forced to live with the unthinkable.
And when those days of second-guessing hit, you need to look at your wife, at the family you’ve built, and remember you made the only decision you could possibly make. ”
I look up and see Rafe as he rounds the corner, and I fucking lose it.
He walks straight for me and throws his arms around me as we both cry for the brother who should be here with us.
“I’m so fucking sorry, brother. I tried.”
“It’s not your fault, brother. You did everything you could.”
I’m not sure I’m ever going to believe that, but hearing it from him is a start.