Chapter Nine
Ryan
I grip the cup of punch I’m holding too tightly and the plastic crunches.
I force myself to relax and plaster on a smile as I watch Claudia flirting with Derek.
She and Derek dated in high school, back when I was just the annoying younger brother who tagged along everywhere, and I hate the reminder.
She shrugs, tossing her hair over one shoulder. “You never know. It may have worked. After all, we were voted ‘cutest couple’ at the end of school dance.”
Derek chuckles as he rolls his eyes at her teasing. “I think there’s a bit more to a relationship than simply being cute.”
She laughs and shoves his shoulder. “But seriously, we need to get together for dinner soon. It’s been ages since we caught up. I’ll arrange something with Jayne, and you have to promise to show up this time.”
“All right. I promise,” Derek says.
I take a sip of my punch trying to quell the jealousy bubbling inside me.
They’d make a good-looking couple. Like Derek said, cute isn’t everything, but Claudia is smart—she’s a lawyer for God’s sake—and she’s fun.
I know Derek and I can set the sheets on fire, but I can’t compete with someone sophisticated and successful like her. She’s his perfect match.
“Derek!” Phillip calls from across the yard, waving him over. “We need your help with the pinata!”
“Be right there.” Derek turns to us with an apologetic smile. “Duty calls. I shouldn’t be too long.”
Claudia and I watch as Derek makes his way over to the group of eager children, laughing as he lines them up, then helps one of them put on a blindfold.
He’s wearing jeans and a white buttoned shirt that brings out his tan.
His beard is neatly trimmed and his eyes shine with happiness as he places a hand on Lily’s shoulder, both of them watching a girl swing wildly at the pinata with a stick. It makes my heart ache with want.
“Look at him,” Claudia says, a wistful smile on her face. “He’s so good with kids.”
“Y-yeah,” I stammer, trying to keep the envy from my voice. Derek is incredible, and it’s clear that Claudia thinks so too. I take another swig of my punch, wishing it had some alcohol in it.
We watch the kids playing for a while longer, then I excuse myself to go offer my help in the kitchen.
I may not be a very good cook, but I’m a whiz at washing up.
I relieve a grateful Mrs. Rivers, Derek’s mum, and take over at the sink while she puts leftovers into the fridge.
We chat as I make my way through the glasses, then the pile of plates, glancing at the party antics through the kitchen window now and then.
I’m finishing drying the last plate then Lily comes into the kitchen.
“Uncle Ryan!”
I warm at being called her uncle. It’s nice to feel part of the family. “Hey, Lily. Are you having fun?”
“Yes! The best fun.” She grins from ear to ear and holds out a small envelope, clearly a Valentine’s card. “Thank you for coming to my party!”
“Aw, thanks, Lily,” I say, accepting the card.
She runs off and I put down the tea towel, turning my attention to the card, expecting a sweet message from the little girl. But as soon as I pull the folded sheet of pink paper from the envelope and see the words, I realise it’s not a child’s handwriting—it’s Derek’s.
“Everything okay?” Mrs. Rivers asks, noticing my sudden change in demeanour.
“Uh, yeah,” I say, quickly tucking the envelope into my pocket. “Just something from Lily.”
“Such a sweet little thing,” she says, nodding. “I’m blessed to have her as a granddaughter. Anyway, I should go check in with Jayne to see when she wants to do the cake. It was nice catching up with you, Ryan.”
“Y-you too,” I reply, watching her walk away.
After a moment, I pull the envelope out again, and slowly withdraw the paper. I take a breath and unfold it to read the words.
To my Valentine,
You’ve grown into an incredible person, one with a heart as big as the universe and a smile that lights up any room.
Every moment spent together reminds me how special you are, and your presence in my life makes me feel complete.
I can’t help thinking of what a life together would look like.
I want to enjoy simple pleasures with you, I want to show you the world.
Most of all I want to tell you how much you mean to me. I love you with all my heart.
Your Secret Admirer.
I study the letter again, looking for any indication of who Derek might be addressing.
There’s no name and I feel my chest tighten as I try to decipher his intentions.
I gaze out the window for a glimpse of him.
Claudia has joined him to watch a game of Pin The Tail On The Donkey and is leaning in close, her hand resting on his arm. My stomach churns at the sight.
“I love you with all my heart.” Could it be that Derek is in love with Claudia? I want the letter to be for me—so much—but it’s hard to believe he feels this way about me, especially after the awkward apology he delivered after that amazing blowjob. He made it pretty clear that we’re friends.
“Ryan, are you okay?” Mrs. Rivers asks, as she comes back into the kitchen.
I tear my eyes from the window as I shove the letter back into my pocket. “Uh, yeah.” I force a smile onto my face. “Just feeling a bit under the weather.”
“Maybe you should head home and get some rest,” she suggests, placing a hand on my arm. “You’ve done enough around here.”
“Y-yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” I glance out at Derek and Claudia one last time, my heart heavy. “Tell Derek I said goodbye, would you? And thank Jayne and Phillip for having me. I’ll send Lily a message later, as I don’t want to interrupt her fun.”
“Of course, honey. Feel better soon,” she says, giving me a warm hug before stepping back.
I make my way to the front door, avoiding the party in the backyard—I’m just not up for it.
I don’t think my heart can take another moment of watching Derek, all the while knowing we’ll only be friends.
But I also decide that I’m not going to wallow in self-pity.
However, as I walk to my car, shoving my hands deeper into my pockets, my fingers curl around the crumpled letter, imagining it was written to me.