Chapter Ten
I stuff another handful of discarded wrapping paper and trailing ribbons into a garbage bag. My back protests as I straighten—it’s been a long day.
Lily bounds up. She holds out a couple of small bottles. “Uncle Derek, did you see what I got? Wanna help me put it on?”
I chuckle and ruffle her hair. “All that sugar’s making you loopy if you’d trust me to do your nails.”
She giggles. “You can watch then. And I can paint your nails, too.”
The day she was born seems like yesterday. Now she’s talking about makeup and wanting a mobile phone. Damn, Jayne and Phillip will have their hands full with this one. “We’ll see,” I say, hoping she’ll forget the offer, but knowing I’ll most likely end up with hot pink fingernails one day soon.
“Can we watch a movie when I’m done?” Lily asks.
“Not tonight, kiddo. I have to go check on Ryan. He wasn’t feeling good at your party. But how about you come over next weekend and we’ll have a movie and popcorn night?”
“Okay.” She grins before darting back into the house.
I pull my phone from my pocket and check to see if there’s any word from Ryan.
I’ve been worried about him ever since Mum told me he’d gone home.
What if he’s feeling really bad and has no one there to help him?
I haul the bags out to the bin, trying to ignore the worry pooling in my gut.
Ryan’ll be fine. It’s probably just a headache or he’s coming down with a cold. I’ll check on him later.
Satisfied I’ve done all I can outdoors, I head into the house to see if there’s anything else I can do before I head out.
Jayne is putting away the last remnants of cake, and Phillip is sitting at the table with Lily, the two of them making a list of Lily’s gifts so she can write thank-you notes later.
“Uncle Derek?” Lily says. “Can I give you your Valentine’s card now?”
“Oh. A card for me?”
“I made one for you the other day.” She holds up a glittery envelope covered in red and pink hearts. “You said you didn’t have a Valentine, so I’m your secret admirer.”
I chuckle just as Phillip says, “I don’t think it works that way, honey. A secret admirer is supposed to be a secret.”
She frowns. “That’s silly.”
I take the envelope. “Thanks, Lily. I love having you as my secret admirer.” I pull out the card and read her message—short and sweet, but I smile at the gesture.
“I gave Ryan his card too,” she says.
I look up from my reading. “You made Ryan a card? That’s very thoughtful, kiddo. I’m sure he loved it.”
She shakes her head, dark ponytail swishing. “I didn’t make a card.”
“Oh?” I say, not following.
“You wrote the letter.”
“Letter?” Then it comes to me and my blood runs cold. The letter I wrote when Lily was working on her Valentine’s cards. I haven’t given it another thought since. “You gave Ryan the letter I wrote?”
She nods slowly. “He’s your Valentine, right?”
I stand there with my mouth open. “I…”
She’s nodding faster now. “And you’re his Secret Admirer.”
“But how—”
“Not so secret admirer, I’d say,” Phillip says.
“You’ve been drooling over the boy all day.” Jayne says, walking across and placing her hands on Lily’s shoulders.
“Jayne!” My gaze darts to Lily who’s looking back and forth between us adults.
“Well, it’s true,” Phillip says. “Even I could see you couldn’t keep your eyes off him.”
“And that’s saying a lot,” Jayne says. “If Phillip noticed, then it’s plain for all the world to see.”
Lily tugs at my hand, drawing my attention. “Don’t you love Uncle Ryan?” she asks.
I look into her face, all big eyes and innocent confusion. I can’t lie to her, and I can’t lie to myself.
It only takes a moment before I answer. “Yes, kiddo. I do.”
She smiles widely.
“Don’t you think it’s time you told him?” Jayne says. “And Valentine’s Day is the perfect time.”
The three of them all but push me out the door and soon I’m on my way to Ryan’s apartment. My mind’s a mess as I drive the short distance.
Why did he leave the party if he read the letter? I know he said he was sick, but what if my admission has him running for the hills?
All too soon, I’m knocking on Ryan’s door, dread and hope warring inside me.
What will I say to him? How can I explain the letter?
What if professing my true feelings is the last thing he wants from me?
What if I’ve ruined our friendship? But I have to know the truth.
I have to see his reaction, to look into his eyes, and find out once and for all.
The door swings open, and Ryan stands before me. “Derek,” he says after a moment. “What are you doing here?”
“Can I come in?”
He nods and steps back to let me in. The apartment is dim, the blinds drawn against the late afternoon sun. Ryan sits on the edge of the couch, shoulders hunched.
“How are you feeling?” I ask, but from the looks of things, I already know the answer. He looks like hell.
“I’m okay,” he says. “Just a headache.”
There’s an empty mug on the coffee table beside a half-full glass of water. Next to that is the letter—I’d recognise the pink paper anywhere.
My mouth goes dry and I swallow hard, meeting his gaze. “Ryan, we need to talk.”
He looks at me with wary eyes but says nothing. I take a deep breath and plunge in before I lose my nerve. “Lily gave you my letter.”
Ryan’s gaze drops to his lap where he’s twisting his hands together. I move to sit next to him on the couch and place a hand over his, stopping his fidgeting. He still doesn’t meet my eyes.
“The things I said in that letter...” I trail off, taking a deep breath before continuing. “They’re true, Ryan. Every word.”
He finally looks up. “I understand,” he says, his voice soft.
There’s sadness written all over his face, and my stomach drops. His reaction confirms my worst fears, that we’re not on the same page as far as our relationship is concerned. “You do?”
He nods. “I’m sorry I read the letter. I know it was private and personal and Lily shouldn’t have given it to me. I didn’t realise what it was until I opened it.”
“I shouldn’t have left it on the table. I didn’t even notice it was missing,” I say. I wish I had noticed because I should have given him the letter myself. “I should have been the one to tell you how I feel, not let you read it on a piece of paper.”
Ryan frowns. “Whatever happens, I don’t want to lose our friendship, Derek.”
Now it’s my turn to frown. “That’s never going to happen, even if you don’t want the same things I do. You’re much too important to me. It’s okay, Ryan, really it is. I’m a big boy and can handle rejection.”
The furrows on Ryan’s brow deepen. “Huh?”
It suddenly occurs to me that maybe we’ve got our wires crossed. Oh my God, please let that be the case! Hope flares brightly in my chest. I take his hand in mine and give it a gentle squeeze. “I think we’re talking at cross purposes here. The letter was meant for you, Ryan.”