Chapter 60
THE FINAL NAIL
GREY
It's been the longest thirty-six hours of my life.
I almost lost her.
I had missed her, longed for her, but it was nothing compared to that. The conversation I had with her parents feels like a footnote after Carlin.
What he did.
What I saw.
What she endured.
What I've done.
I didn't hesitate to hit Carlin, and if he'd stayed conscious, I wouldn't have held back. I hoped when I threw the punch that it would knock him out. I don't know if I would have stopped if he'd fought back.
Then there's her father. She's gone back and forth since we got home on whether or not to call her parents and confront them until now. We're sitting on my couch, thigh to thigh. She's staring at her phone, gearing up to call them.
I want to take her pain from her. Wrap her up. Keep her safe forever. But she doesn't need me. She's strong enough to weather anything, capable of taking care of herself. I trace the line of her profile, her dark eyes and long lashes, her button nose, her full lips downturned.
She doesn't need me.
But I need her.
Today at the hospital was so raw, so painful. Now she's about to confront her parents, and I dread it. I want to fix it, but this is hers to handle. So I just have to sit here and watch her hurt.
It's the hardest thing I've ever fucking done.
I don't think her parents deserve a call after all this.
They lied to her for her entire life. Rob was cruel and deliberate. They locked her up, not just to protect her, but to control her. Yesterday, I was seeking their blessing.
Now?
They can go straight to hell for all I care.
I've wondered all day, if I'd kept my temper at the game, would her father have had the heart attack? Would she have gone to Louisville? Would Carlin have gotten her alone? Would she have learned the truth?
The guilt of it eats at me, but it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is her.
Maybe I do want her to call them. We can put a nail in it, have it done with, for now at least. Once this is through, we can move on. I can bring the sunshine back into her. I want to hear her laugh so bad, my chest aches.
I slip my hand under her hair to cup her neck, thumbing her skin.
She sighs. Says, "Okay," to her phone.
"You sure?"
"I just want it done. Best I call while I'm mad, anyway."
"Okay."
She smiles sadly at me. "Thank you. For…this."
"Baby, I'm here for this, always."
She nods, and I'm afraid she's going to cry. So I catch her chin in my thumb and forefinger and kiss her briefly, just until she softens.
"It's gonna be okay," I promise her.
"I believe you," she says and turns to her phone.
My stomach lurches when she sends the video call. As it rings, she straightens, her jaw setting, tears in her eyes. One of her hands is trembling in mine, the other framing the shot so I'm not in it but for a sliver of my shoulder and arm.
"Hey, chicken!"
The second I hear Rob's voice white hot fury rushes through me.
"What's wrong?" he asks darkly.
"BabyWhere have you been, b? Are you okay?" Cate asks, crowding into the frame.
"No. No I'm not."
She doesn't ease into it. She starts with Carlin--what happened, what he did, what she endured. Cate gasps and cries. Rob's face goes dark. They keep interrupting, asking questions, all the way up until she says, "Danny Miller saved me."
Silence. Cate blanches. Rob's jaw clenches.
"He was stabbed, actually. I went to see him today at the hospital.
He told me everything." Her voice hardens.
Sharpens. "The secret you've been keeping.
The one Mom's been trying to tell me about.
The one you shut her down for. Remember?
Are you sure you're ready for the consequences?
" She lets that land. "Well, now I know.
About the affair. About the arrangement. About how you cut him off."
"Molly--" Rob's voice is firm. Dismissive. The same tone he's used her whole life.
But she's not having it.
"You lied to me." He tries to interrupt, but she's not having it. "My entire life, you lied to me. You let me forget him because it suited you. Both of you, but especially you, Dad. You let me forget him because it suited you. You must have been so relieved when I stopped asking for him."
Cate's face has dropped to her hands, her shoulders shaking.
"Molly," he snaps. "That's enough. There are two sides to this--"
"Earlier today, I thought I wanted to hear your side. I thought I had questions. But I only have one. Is it true?"
Cate looks at Rob. His nostrils flare.
Neither of them speaks.
I feel the pain of her disappointment, hear the tightness of her voice when she says, "That's what I thought. You say there are two sides, so does your side defend what you did, or does it lie about it even happening?"
"I don't know what he told you--"
"Be careful, Dad. Because I remember him. Turns out you didn't erase him after all, despite the effort. You pushed him out and took his place. You made mom choose, and she chose you. Chose her comfort over his heart."
"We were protecting--"
"You were possessing me. You were protecting yourselves."
Cate sobs, finally raising her head. "You don't understand. You were so traumatized, had nightmares for months. And then you forgot. And you were fine."
"He kidnapped you, Molly--" Rob snaps.
"Why? Why did he take me?" she asks. "Who drove him to that? Who could be so cruel?"
"I'm your father--" he says more calmly.
But her voice is shaking, furious. "Every happy memory I have was his." The words are quiet, still. "I don't know who you are. But I know you aren't my father. You're the man who stole me from him."
Shock, anger, fear pass across Rob's face.
"Maybe you wanted to tell me, maybe you didn't. But now that I know, I don't know how I'll forgive you."
"Molly, baby, please--" Cate begs.
"No. No, Mom. I know he controls you. But you made these choices.
You chose him over Danny. You chose him over me.
You wanted to protect me, but all you did was betray us both.
" Molly glances down, rolls her lips and pins them.
"I have to go--I can't look at you right now.
I am begging you to leave me alone until I come to you.
If I come to you. If you push me, I don't know if there's any chance. "
"Molly, you're being ridiculous--"
"Rob!" Cate's voice cuts through, sharp and raw. "Stop it! Just stop!" She shoves his arm, pushing him out of the frame. When she turns back, her face is wrecked. "Honey--I love you. I'm so sorry, Please…please call me when you're ready. I'll be here. Without him. Okay?"
Molly's lips part in surprise, her brows knitted together. I see her fight the instinct to say I love you like she always has. But she can't. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
With a small shake of her head, she ends the call. Drops her phone. Takes a shaky breath.
And then she breaks.
I draw her into me, as close as I can get her, and hold her while she cries, my own eyes burning, her pain unbearable. And I rock her, my mind screaming with fury and helplessness and love and pride.
It's a long time until her tears slow, then stop. She pulls back enough to look at me, red eyed, cheeks blotchy, beautiful, perfect. I cup her face, her skin cool from tears, and I thumb them away.
"I love you," she says with a shaky, breathy voice.
"I love you too," I swear, my throat tight.
Unexpected levity flickers across her face. "Can we eat ice cream until we're sick?"
I laugh, the sound choked by the vise around my throat. "Absofuckinglutely."