Chapter 20
The room was dark, except for the soft glow from the moonlight outside, peeking through my window. I was dead asleep when something pulled me out of my deep slumber. A faint scent wrapped around me, familiar and warm like crisp cedar, cool mint, and a hint of citrus.
My eyes fluttered open, confused. That couldn’t be right.
I hadn’t been around Samir in days. Still half-asleep, I turned over, burying my face in my pillow, but the smell only got stronger.
My heart started to thump harder, a slow, uneasy rhythm.
Then, I felt it. That quiet, heavy awareness that someone else was in the room.
The air shifted, and the tiny hairs on my neck stood up.
Slowly, I opened my eyes again, and that’s when I saw a tall shadow standing over me. I shot upright with a sharp gasp, clutching the blanket to my chest. My breath caught when the dim light hit his face.
Samir had been blowing up my phone for the past few days with calls, texts, and voice notes that I refused to open.
But no matter how much I told myself to be done with him, I couldn’t bring myself to block him.
Every time his name flashed across my screen, my chest tightened like it was trying to remind me of what I was missing.
Part of me wanted to ignore him for good, erase every trace of him, and move on like he never existed. But that soft, stupid part of me still wanted to hear his voice and to believe that maybe there was something left to fix.
“Samir?” My voice cracked in disbelief.
He just stood there, a towel hanging low around his waist, looking like a Greek God. My mind scrambled to make sense of it. He wasn’t supposed to be here.
“How the hell did you get in my house?” I demanded, my voice trembling even though I tried to sound firm.
His lips twitched like he wanted to smile, but his voice came out low and rough. “Don’t worry about all that.”
I blinked, my pulse pounding in my ears. “Nigga, what? You broke in, Samir!”
He took a slow stroll closer, and even through my anger, I could smell that same scent that still lingers on my sheets. It filled the air, overpowering me like a memory I didn’t ask to relive.
“Yeah, guess I did. You weren’t answering any of my calls, Nova baby, so I did the next best thing.” He shrugged his shoulders and sat on the edge of my bed, the mattress dipping under his weight.
Samir propped his elbows on his thighs, placing his head in his hands.
Even with the hazy light spilling through the curtains, I could see that he had something heavy sitting behind his eyes.
His chest rose and fell slow, like he was fighting a storm inside himself.
For a moment, neither of us spoke, as I swallowed hard, torn between irritation and concern.
“Samir,” I said softly. “What’s wrong?”
He lifted his head, his eyes finding mine in the dim light. They looked tired, red, and full of something that made my stomach twist.
“Shit’s been crazy,” he said above a whisper. He lifted his head, eyes meeting mine. “You know what that could do to a Black man? Accusing him of domestic abuse?” His jaw flexed, voice sharpening. “That shit could’ve ruined me.”
I frowned, confusion flickering through me. “What are you talking about?”
He let out a bitter laugh, dragging a hand down his face. “Paige,” he said, spitting her name like it tasted bad. “That bitch went to the police and filed a report. Said I put my hands on her dumb ass.”
My stomach dropped. “Wait—what?”
“I spent a few hours in the precinct because of her bullshit, only for her to drop the charges.”
I didn’t think Samir would lie, but he did say a few times that he felt like harming her.
“D… Did you?”
“I don’t put my hands on women. Never have. Never will. The most I’ve done was yoke her ass up because she wilded out on me a few times.”
I swallowed hard, not knowing what to say. Part of me was still mad at him. Hell, I had every right to be, but another part of me, the part that had been aching for him every day, was glad he was here. I missed him so much that I barely slept these past few days.
“Samir, I’m sorry you had to go through that. But I need you to…” I started, but his next words shocked the hell out of me.
“I love you, Zanova.”
The words landed like a punch to my chest, leaving me frozen. My heart stuttered, then slammed against my ribs, threatening to break free. He didn’t hesitate when he said those three words. He pulled me into his lap, and his eyes locked onto mine, unyielding and unwavering.
“I don’t know when it happened, but I know what I feel for you is deep, love.” He ran his hand down my face.
“Samir…” I whispered, barely holding myself together.
He reached out, brushing his thumb along my jaw, forcing my gaze back to his.
“I’m not telling you this to scare you. I know what your heart is feeling right now.
You’re scared, still dealing with the hurt of your past…
” He paused, his thumb brushing my bottom lip, eyes locked on mine.
“I don’t gotta heal you, because the love I got for you will do that on its own.
Every flaw, every fear, every piece of you that you think ain’t enough, I want it.
All of it. None of those changes what I feel for you. ”
My throat went tight, the weight of his words pressing against everything I’d been trying to hold together.
He leaned in slowly, giving me every chance to pull back.
However I didn’t. My body was frozen, like it wanted to escape through my chest. His eyes searched mine, like he was trying to read every fear, every desire I’d buried.
Then his lips were on mine. The kiss was slow at first, then heavy with everything he couldn’t say.
This wasn’t just a kiss; it was him apologizing and staking his claim, all at once.
My chest pressed against his, and every nerve in my body had woken up, trembling under the warmth and weight of him.
Without another word, Samir pulled my silk gown over my head, tossing it to the floor.
He cupped my breast, taking my left nipple into his mouth, sucking on it like a baby pacifier.
At the same time, he pulled out his beautiful, hard dick, and my mouth watered seeing the pre-cum leaking from the tip.
He gently lifted me and slid me down on him, stretching me out like only he could, and at the same time, repeating those three words.
“Gotdamn! This pussy tight as fuck! You soaked already, and I ain’t been in it but two seconds.”
“Mmm! It’s because she missed you,” I whispered, rocking my hips back and forth on his lap.
With Samir, it always took me a minute to adjust to his size, but the pleasure mixed with a little pain always turned me on. Just as I got my rhythm, bouncing on his lap, he suddenly held me in place, stopping my movement.
“What’s wrong?”
“Zanova, are you pregnant?” Samir looked at me with raised eyebrows.
“Huh? No. Why would you ask me that?”
“Don’t get me wrong, your pussy has always been bomb, but your shit extra tight and wetter. You know what they say? Pregnant pussy is the best pussy, baby, and right now… your shit choking the shit out my dick.” He smirked.
“Get off me! You don’t know what to say out of your mouth!” I pushed at his chest and hopped up off his lap.
Samir looked at me with concern and confusion in his eyes. “What’s wrong, love?”
That question cracked something open in me. All the fear, the years of disappointment, the doctor visits, the endless negative tests—it all came rushing back like a bad accident. My throat tightened, and before I could stop it, the words tumbled out.
“I can’t get pregnant, Samir!” I said, voice trembling but sharp enough to cut the air between us.
“What are you talking about?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I knew one day I’d have to have this conversation with Samir, but I was scared that I’d run him off or that he would look at me like I was broken. I knew he wanted kids, but I just wasn’t sure I would ever be able to give him that.
“Zanova,” he said gently, pulling me back on his lap. “Talk to me, baby.”
“Samir, I…” My voice cracked. “My doctor said that I can, it just may take some time. But I don’t think I can. Jerome and I tried for years, and it just never happened. Maybe I just can’t. I would understand if you don’t want to take things further.”
The silence that followed was thick, heavy enough to make my throat burn. I couldn’t even look at him. I was too afraid of what I’d see. Then, without a word, I felt his hand on my chin, making me meet his gaze. His thumb brushed against my cheek, catching the tear I hadn’t realized had fallen.
“Don’t ever say no shit like that. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.
You hear me? Whether you can give me a baby or not, I still want you.
Your inability to have a baby doesn’t change shit.
But I do think you need to take a test because I’m almost positive that you are carrying my baby.
” He smirked, placing his hands on my belly.
“Samir, don’t say that if you don’t really mean it. I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”
“Nah, I’m not just saying shit to appease you.
And say what you want, love, but I knocked that ass up.
You think I don’t pay attention? I notice everything about you.
The way your body reacts to me, how tired you've been lookin’ lately, how that pussy has been tasting sweeter lately.
You might not want to believe it, but I knocked that ass up. ” He chuckled, pleased with himself.
I wanted to argue, to tell him he was wrong, but my throat felt tight.
Because deep down, there was a tiny part of me that prayed he was telling the truth.
And now that I thought about it, when my period came this month, I only spotted for a few days.
I chalked it up to stress with dealing with the new shop and the demands of my new tart.