Chapter 20 #2
“Don’t stress yourself, baby. We can get a test done and put both of us at ease. Whatever the outcome, we will deal with it. But I bet I’m right.”
“I’m only going through with it to prove you wrong.”
“Whatever you say.”
I didn’t know if I wanted him to be wrong or right.
Without waiting for me to respond, Samir flattened me down on the bed, climbing between my legs.
He placed soft kisses on my chin and down my neck until he reached my breasts.
He gently took my right nipple into his mouth, circling his tongue around my areola.
I moaned out, enjoying how he was making me feel.
I pulled him to me and pushed my tongue into his mouth.
I wasn’t for the foreplay right now. I missed Samir so much.
The time we spent away from each other was torture, and right now, I needed to feel him inside of me.
The time apart had felt like punishment, and in this moment, all I wanted was for him to take that ache away.
The next morning, I called my gynecologist’s office and, by some miracle, managed to get an appointment with my provider for the same day. My hands were shaking as Samir drove with music on low. My mind was racing; I didn’t know if it was nerves or hope trying to crawl its way up my throat.
By the time Samir and I sat in the waiting area, my heart felt like it was doing laps in my chest. Every swollen belly that passed by reminded me of what I was afraid to hope for.
Samir sat next to me, legs spread, our hands intertwined, looking calm as ever.
I could tell he was tense too. His thumb kept brushing over my hand, back and forth in slow strokes, like he was trying to keep me grounded.
It didn’t take long before we were called to the back by the nurse and shown to an exam room.
I was given a gown to change into after she took all my vitals and asked me a series of questions.
She’d taken a urine sample, too, and the whole routine reminded me of the many years visiting with Jerome.
I knew the procedure all too well from trying to get pregnant with that man.
I hated that pregnancy automictically made me think about Jerome.
He didn’t deserve my thoughts, just like Samir didn’t deserve to have his hopes up from my lack of communicating my fertility issues.
After Samir helped me change out of my clothes, I rested on the small examination table, still a ball of nerves.
“If you are so sure that the test is going to come back negative, why are you looking so nervous?”
“It’s just… I've been in this situation too many times to count, only to be told—”
“Stop the negative thoughts. You’re not doing this alone, aight?”
“Yes,” I whispered, trying to convince myself.
There was a knock on the door, and Dr. Peters walked into the room, shutting the door behind her. She smiled, instantly making me feel a little lighter.
“Zanova! It’s been a while,” she greeted, her voice gentle but familiar. Then her gaze shifted to Samir, her expression politely curious. “And you are?”
Samir extended his hand to her. “Samir Carter.”
Dr. Peters has been my gynecologist for six years.
She worked in a joint office with two other women, and all three were obstetricians as well.
She knew my history, my struggles, and every heartbreak that came with trying to conceive a baby that never came.
But the last time I saw her, Jerome was with me.
Her curiosity about who Samir was were warranted.
She nodded with a small smile before turning her attention back to me. “So, what brings you in today? You sounded a little anxious on the phone.”
“My…” I cleared my throat. “My boyfriend seems to think that I’m pregnant. So I just want to confirm to him that I’m not. He doesn’t believe that I can’t have children.”
“Zanova, I never said that you couldn’t. I said that it may take time. You are capable.”
I could feel Samir’s eyes on me, but I kept my eyes on Dr. Peters.
She patted my hand. “All right. Let’s get some details first. When was your last period?”
“Um, two weeks ago. But I was spotting. I have been busy with my bakery, so I think the stress of everything is the cause.”
“Any symptoms? Fatigue, nausea, breast tenderness?”
“I’ve just been more tired than usual, but like I said, I have been extremely busy.”
Samir shifted in the chair beside me, resting his elbows on his knees. “And that pussy feeling different, Doc. It’s like a double Super Soaker down there. But, shit… a nigga ain’t complaining. Feel me?” Samir added, making me gasp with wide eyes.
“Samir!”
“What? Man, Doc don’ seen plenty of pussy. I’m sure she is used to hearing shit like this.”
Dr. Peters chuckled softly. “He’s fine. Let’s start with your urine test, and if it’s positive, we’ll do an ultrasound to confirm how far along you might be.”
As Dr. Peters clicked around on the computer, I looked over at this delusional man. The smile he wore on his face was cute, but that smile was about to be turned upside down when he heard these results.
“Congratulations, Zanova! You are indeed pregnant! I am so happy for you, Zanova!” Dr. Peters damn near yelled.
I froze. For a second, I was sure I heard her wrong. My brain just… stopped.
Pregnant?
My eyes darted from Dr. Peters’ wide grin to Samir’s face. He was wearing that cocky-ass smile of his across his lips until it reached his eyes. He turned toward me, and before I could even react, his hand found mine, squeezing it tight.
Meanwhile, I couldn’t feel my body. My heart was thundering in my ears. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I’d prepared myself for another disappointment as I made the appointment today. For years, that one word—pregnant—had been nothing more than a dream that always ended in heartbreak.
Tears filled my eyes before I even realized it. “Wait… Are you serious?” I managed to whisper, my voice shaking, half-afraid she’d take it back.
Dr. Peters smiled softly. “Very serious. Let’s do an ultrasound so we can see how far along you are.”
A shaky laugh escaped me, but it turned into a sob as I covered my mouth with my hand. I couldn’t stop crying. Samir reached for me, pulling me against him, one hand rubbing slow circles down my back.
“Didn’t I tell you, you were carrying my baby, woman?”
I laughed through my tears, shaking my head. “I thought you were crazy.”
“Yeah, well… guess I was right this time.”
For the first time in years, I felt something I hadn’t let myself feel in a long time. Hope.
“Samir, I’m scared,” I whispered, a tear sliding down my cheek. He caught it with his thumb before pressing a kiss to my forehead.
“You don’t have to be. I’m right here, Nova baby. I ain’t goin’ nowhere,” he said quietly. “You carried enough weight by yourself. It’s my turn to carry it for you now.”
“Are you happy with this? I know we haven’t known each other long, and this is… a lot.” I wanted to see where his head was at.
“Man, I’m good as fuck, love. Time means nothing when love is in play. I got you and my baby. I don’t run from shit that’s mine. And now I got two reasons to go even harder.” He kissed my lips. “Now, let’s see about my baby, and then I have a surprise for you.”
Dr. Peters did an internal ultrasound, and I was measuring six weeks. She stated everything looked fine, and the timeline matched up with my previous period, with the spotting being the pregnancy, not my most recent thought-to-be period. I was still in shock, praying that this wasn’t a dream.