Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
ENZO
"Holy shit," I say to Silas over the phone as I drive back to his Rockaway house. "She hacked my laptop?"
"That's your takeaway from this?"
"Even just going into that part and copying the files is kinda hardcore. I mean, it is set up to alert me if someone tries to do that."
And not even one small ping.
The only reason I'm not completely shocked is the fact I knew she had touched my computer. And no, the irony of the fact I knew was from her moving it and not anything techy isn't lost on me.
"Dude, you heard what I said? Or was your meeting that good?"
A sourness cuts through me. "The fucker didn't show."
"What did Zayne say?"
"That he's known to run. But, fuck, man. I thought I would be able to at least speak to him. I wasn't going to nail him to a wall."
"Your father and your uncle are forces to be reckoned with in this world. Maybe he owes a Marino money?" Silas says quietly. "But I don't like it. Did Zayne offer his thoughts?"
"No, but he's working. He might be one of us, but he's still a cop, and though we texted..."
I don't have to finish the sentence.
Zayne has to watch every word said and typed when he is on the clock. Even on his own phone, he is always ultra careful while in the precinct or on the job.
It is what makes him beyond invaluable. That and his skills in the Syndicate.
"Yeah. I hear you." Then Silas says, "Back to your particular situation."
Silas sounds pissed.
I don't know why. I have helped him before, told lies and twisted situations. I'm not asking much, just to hold off on the full truth until I say so.
Thank fuck there was nothing about my alter ego on the computer, and now I'm torn about if she is that naturally good or if I need to give my security systems an overhaul.
Sure, it is a fucking laptop, but I keep the layers as secure as I can.
Normally, it is locked, but since all the information she found wasn't just sitting there, she hacked it.
Shit.
"So, what do you want me to do, Enzo? Because the thing is, I don't want to be the guy who gets the fucking blame here. It is going to be bad enough when you tell her the whole truth and nothing but, however I don't want her finding that out and me along with it."
"You don't even know her."
He mutters something I don't catch as I keep driving, letting some asshole who is riding my ass pass by. I have got nothing to prove. My dick is big enough.
"What was that, Silas?"
"I said, dickwad, that she's a nice girl."
Something clutches and claws at my heart. "So?"
"So, I don't like being complicit in your fucked-up games. I have tried to ease things, Simon's a real presence online now, but, Enzo, fix this because all I'm doing is buying time."
"I'm not trying to kidnap her," I snap.
"She thinks you're a stalker."
"I'm not. At least, not that kind of stalker." Fuck, I don't even know what that means. "I'm just trying to keep her safe."
"No, you're trying to have your cake and scarf it fucking down at the same time."
"You don't know what you're talking about. Our history—"
"Bullshit."
I grip the wheel tight. "Excuse me?"
"I call bullshit. You want to protect her, you've got feelings for her, and I'm guessing they went from protective older kid to whatever the fuck you're doing now, but instead of coming clean with her and risking the wrath of Daddy, you decided to keep everything on the down-low, and then walk into her place of work—"
"I bought it, moron."
"Right, because your dream, right after becoming a mafia boss, is to be a CEO."
As much as I hate to admit it, he has a point there. But it is more complicated than he thinks.
There is no way she would have been open to anything I was doing, going back to after her father's death. Shit, even before that with school.
But here we are, and I might have crossed a line or two.
A line or two she liked being crossed, and that is the truth.
Fuck. It looks bad.
But...shit.
They look bad.
"So, I ask again," he says, "what do you want me to do?"
I pull over as soon as I can. "Send it to me."
"And?"
"Do fucking nothing."
The irritation grows in Silas's voice. "If she calls?"
"Tell her you're looking into it."
"Fuck. She might recognize my voice."
But I shake my head. "No, if she was going to do that, she would have done it already."
"Your fucking funeral, my friend."
And I know it.
"Look, as far as she knows, you're Simon. She's never seen Silas, and you keep your online presence to almost zero." Like every last one of the Syndicate. "So, for the love of everything unholy, when Simon turns up at his beach home, make sure your phone is fucking off."
Twenty minutes later, I'm still sitting in my car on the side of the road.
I think the word I'm looking for is fuck.
I have read through the notes Silas made for me, things that he got from Lola's tone, and I have to say he is right. Her getting scared and paranoid are byproducts of seeing all this.
Out of context, especially, but even in context it is intense.
And I might have gone a little overboard in the photos. I could have lost the naked ones. Or not taken them.
But it all makes sense with her cold shoulder today.
I need to put it right, but I'm not sure how.
I don't even know if this is everything...but surely it is because I don't have any record on the laptop of me as Alex, and she also texted Alex.
That fucking fits her being suspicious of me and my motives, too.
Christ almighty, she knows all this, and even I think I look batshit crazy.
What the fuck does she think?
One saving grace is Lyndall. She is there. What kind of psycho brings his kid sister?
Besides, what the fuck does she think I'm going to do?
But while I don't have a crystal ball for those thoughts in her pretty head, I can make an educated guess. She reached out to Silas because she is scared for her safety. Only, she is not scared of whoever is out to get her.
No.
She is scared of me.
There is only one way to salvage this.
I need to come clean to Lola on everything.
My phone lights up.
Lola
Alex...if I need you, can you help?
Me
What do you need?
Lola
Maybe just someone I can trust.
Me
I'm there. Whenever you need me.
I drop my phone like it is burning.
I shouldn't have done that, I know. But I can't ignore her, either.
Earlier, when she texted me...texted Alex, she didn't give her location away, didn't really give much away.
So, there is a part of her that trusts me.
Which means there is hope.
If I was there, I would tell her. Everything.
Shit.
Almost everything.
Because she trusts Alex, and with things as tenuous as they are, she needs someone, and I need an in.
It is in my best interest to keep Alex's real identity a secret.
And when this is over?
Alex will have to ghost her.
Because I know, deep in my heart that the truth of who Alex is, that is the one thing Lola will never be able to get past.