Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
LUKE
I t’s not easy spending almost two months away from Deidre.
I’m not quite sure how I did it before when I first started visiting the LA area.
I miss her. All I want is to feel her next to me in my bed.
I jerk off each morning and night to pictures I’ve taken of her when we’ve been together.
Most of the photos I have are ones she doesn’t know about; us in bed together just after sex, times while she’s asleep or playing with Vix, and even a few moments when we were in public and I just happened to capture her in a moment with a smile on her face.
While home, I busy myself with work either in the office or back at my place when I’m not at the gym.
I find myself working out more often and for longer periods.
When that’s not enough of a distraction, I hang out with Mike and the guys.
All of my friends are hounding me about my secret girlfriend, but luckily, Dad hasn’t mentioned it to anyone.
Mom hasn’t asked and Dad only inquires or makes a small comment when we’re alone.
He’s confirmed that he hasn’t told anyone.
Since Dei and I only get a few chances to talk each week, I’m stalking the internet for news about her.
We message through Flirt more than anything else, which makes me think that there’s always someone around her.
Dei does call when she’s going to bed, but either I’m already asleep, completely missing the chance to hear her voice, or she’s falling asleep on the phone while we’re talking.
I’m currently hiding in the alley between a club and the building next to it, waiting for her to call. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Dei replies. “Happy New Year.”
“Not yet.”
“It is for me.” There’s the faint sound of bass thumping in the background.
“Happy New Year, then. How’s the party?”
“Okay,” she sighs.
“Where are you?”
“Snuck into the women’s bathroom…the farthest one from the party I could find. Where are you?”
“An alley.”
Dei giggles. “Looks like horny minds think alike.”
“Yeah.” I scratch my head. “When will you be back?”
“Late tomorrow."
“Good.”
“Shoot…I’ve got to go,” Deidre says.
“I don’t care if you need to pee while we talk.”
“No,” Dei laughs. “Someone’s looking for me. I need to go. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye.”
“B.…” My voice fades quickly when I hear that she hung up.
Damn it! This shit really fucking sucks.
I send Dei a flirt message through her app, too scared to text her that I miss her.
Making my way back inside, I get another beer.
The guys and I shoot the shit with each other as the music blares and the girls around us clammer on about who knows what.
Claire is the only one out of all of them I can stand.
A few of them try to flirt with me, but I ignore them.
I try to stay focused on the conversations the guys are having, but many of them end up getting pulled to the dance floor.
“What’s wrong, man?” Mike asks.
I chug my beer. “Nothing.”
“Is your girlfriend not coming?”
He never asked if she was coming, just assuming that she would.
“No.”
“That’s a bummer, man. What’s more important than spending the New Year with you?”
“You sound like a chick,” I goad, trying to diffuse my irritation.
“Don’t be pissy with me,” he says.
“Sorry. She’s tied up with a work thing.”
Let’s hope Mike doesn’t make the connection.
“You couldn’t go with her?”
“No. She’s…she’s out of the country.”
“That sucks, man,” Mike replies. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah.”
“Come dance,” a chick whines, pulling on my arm.
“Fuck off!”
“Geez, what’s up your butt?” she scoffs.
“I have a fucking girlfriend.”
“Where is she?” the girl asks, crossing her arms and glancing around.
“That’s none of your fucking business. Not like you even have a chance. No woman has a chance.”
“Fine,” the girl huffs, stomping away.
“Dude, man,” Mike says. “You okay?”
“Yeah…no.” I wring the back of my neck. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I get it. I’m grumpy when Claire isn’t around. She keeps me sane.”
“Yeah.”
Mike would fucking kill me if he knew that I’m in love with his sister, and worse, sleeping with her.
“Will you be able to see her soon?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
I stay with one or more of the guys at all times, but hang near Mike and Claire for most of the night, even when they’re grinding on each other and making out.
They make me miss Dei, but I’d rather be around them than anyone else at this party.
I almost stayed at home, but I know that all I’d do would sit and stew about not being with Dei.
Claire brings over a round of shots for everyone a few minutes before midnight.
I’ve been able to keep a minimal buzz going on—enough to pass the time, but not too much that I’d do something stupid.
Images of Time Square flash on all of the large television screens around the place as we get ready for the countdown.
All the guys have managed to find a girl to kiss for the holiday.
A different chick from earlier in the evening tries to cozy up to me, clearly hoping to get kissed.
Claire, the guys, and I raise our shots in the air as the last thirty seconds count down—our tradition since we’ve been able to drink.
An image on the screen catches my eye, but it’s too late to confirm it since the camera pans out to a different scene.
My eyes stay glued to the television, willing it to confirm what I saw.
Suddenly, it cuts to a group of people, and one of those people looks like Dei.
Yes, it is her. God, does she look beautiful.
My gaze drifts down her side, noticing a hand on her hip.
I know it shouldn’t bother me, but it does.
I’ve seen Dei in pictures all the time with these guys.
Mandy has reassured me that it’s just business, but something about tonight is just rubbing me the wrong way.
What the fuck is that motherfucker doing with my girlfriend?
! I blink rapidly to clear my vision, but my eyes are not lying.
That fucker is kissing my girlfriend on television as if they’re an item.
My throat tightens and my stomach plummets to the ground as I watch her kiss him back.
If I was there, I’d be beating the fucking shit out of him right now.
I’ve got to calm myself. I can’t let anyone know that I saw it, let alone be affected by it. Dei wouldn’t do that to me. Would she? She’s never kissed a guy on purpose ever since we started.
“Come on,” a woman’s voice whines.
“What?” I snap.
“We need to kiss for the New Year,” she states. “It’s bad luck if we don’t.”
“Like hell we are.” I chug the rest of my beer, grab my jacket, and make my way out of the building. I didn’t drive, so I text Mike that I’m catching a ride home.
Once I’m en route, my mind plays over the video of Dei kissing the other guy. Why did she do it? Was she supposed to? Why didn’t she tell me about it? She’s three fucking hours ahead of me! She could have warned me about the kiss.
I scour the internet, trying to find as many pictures or videos as possible with her in them to see if I’m misinterpreting the whole thing. Hopefully, I just drank too much and am missing her.
Back at my barely used Bay apartment that has one last month on the lease, I put on workout clothes and head down to the gym. With rock music blaring in my ears, I set my target on a punching bag first, needing to take my frustration out on something before it turns on someone.
As much as the physical exhaustion finally starts to set in, my mind races as if it hasn’t had its own workout.
While rinsing off, I find myself shocked and still pissed off at how Deidre didn’t tell me and has yet to call.
I contemplate texting her, but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.
As time ticks by while I lie in bed waiting for her call, my eyes eventually close, and darkness surrounds me.