Chapter Ten #3
I jerk away in panic. “I think I hear the opening act.” I turn to the big window overlooking the arena, and sure enough, as if I conjured them, the band is on stage, the sound of their guitar and drums growing louder.
The warm-up band plays, and by the time they finish, the crowd is stamping their feet and calling for The Original Kings to come out.
Dash, as the lead singer, commands the stage. I’ve seen him evolve over the years, from a young boy performing in random bars to the man and star performer he is now. I put my problems away, letting myself sing, clap, and dance to the music, losing myself and my problems.
Linc is by my side, enjoying watching his brother with all the pride of an older sibling.
His hands often come to my shoulders, his lips settling on my neck, causing shivers of awareness to ripple through me in the dark room, lit only by the lights of the band.
My nipples grow tight and desire lights a flame inside me.
God, I wish relationships were as simple as moments like we’re sharing tonight.
When the lights come on, everyone is on a high from the performance, and talking loudly because our ears are ringing from the blaring sound of the music for the last couple of hours.
We make our way downstairs to the room where the band’s meet and greet is to be held. People from all the boxes and those who won tickets courtesy of music stations and online sites wait for their time with members of the band.
Everyone talks over each other, and I’m uncomfortable with the crowds, needing air. “I’m going to find a chair and sit,” I say in Linc’s ear because it’s the only way for him to hear me.
“Let’s go into the outer room. It’s quieter there.” He grasps my hand and leads the way.
I follow, and we work our way past the groups of people until we find the door and step into the outer connecting room. The sounds immediately dim, and I can hear myself think again.
I press my palms against my ears and pat them hard. “My God. This night has been insane!” I know I’m still talking too loudly, and laugh.
“I like seeing you happy like this.” Linc looks at me intently, his stare steady.
God, he’s gorgeous. I love that he hasn’t shaved completely, the scruff of beard on his handsome face so appealing.
Suddenly I remember what I have to tell him, and I sober, feeling the grin on my face dim. Before I can react, a male voice calls my name. Thinking it’s one of the Kingston brothers, I turn, shocked to see Collin Auerbach, my ex, walking up to me, a pregnant woman by his side.
Bile rises up in my throat, and Linc, who met Collin years ago when I started dating him, slides a steadying arm behind my back.
But I want to handle this myself, without Collin knowing his presence brings back painful memories. Or that he affects me at all, and I pull away to stand on my own. I know that if I wasn’t pregnant now, I wouldn’t be thrown by his presence at all.
He strides up to me, looking every bit the preppy guy I knew, with his light brown hair and caramel eyes, wearing slacks and a long-sleeve shirt.
His outfit is too conservative for a concert.
His wife, in her black pants and fitted maternity top, looks at me curiously. She clearly has no idea who I am.
“Jordan! It’s been a long time,” Collin says.
It hasn’t been long enough as far as I’m concerned. I treat him to a forced smile. “Collin. I didn’t think concerts were your thing.”
“They’re more Naomi’s. She loves The Original Kings and I got us box seats. She’s dying to meet Dash Kingston.” His gaze comes to Linc’s.
The two men don’t run in the same circles, so they haven’t met up since the early days of Collin’s relationship with me. But from Collin’s expression, he obviously recognizes Linc.
“Aah, you two are still close, huh? And Dash Kingston is your brother. What do you say you get us to the front of the VIP line? You know, for an old friend?” He lets out a laugh, as if he truly means what he says.
“You have got to be kidding me. How about I escort you out?” Linc asks through clenched teeth.
I put a calming hand on his arm. I do not want a scene.
“Collin? What’s going on? Are you going to introduce me?” his wife asks.
“Yes, Collin. Why don’t you introduce us?” I ask with sugary sweetness in my tone.
“And while you’re at it, why don’t you give her the history of your relationship?” Linc says the one thing sure to send Collin running.
And it works if his panicked expression is anything to go by.
“Honey, let’s go. The line is long and I’m not feeling well.” He glares at Linc, then turns to me. “I thought enough time had passed that we could be civil.”
“Never,” I say through clenched teeth.
He grabs his wife’s hand and pulls her away, heading out of the room, Naomi complaining the entire time because he promised her she’d meet Dash Kingston.
I let out a long breath and shake my head. “I swear to God, of all the nerve.” It’s not like Collin doesn’t know what happened with my pregnancy, either.
About a month after I lost the baby, I sent him an email letting him know because I sensed it was the right thing to do, no matter how much of an asshole he’d been.
I didn’t hear back. I was young and stupid and here I am again.
Pregnant by a man who I know has concerns about having children and whose life I worry I won’t fit into long-term.
“Hey, are you okay?” Linc asks.
I force myself to meet his worried stare. “I’m fine and he’s still an asshole.”
“There you guys are!” Aurora walks over with Chloe beside her. “Hasn’t tonight been incredible?”
I smile. “It has been.” A wave of dizziness washes over me, and I barely hold myself up with the heels of my shoes wobbling a bit.
I shoot Chloe a nervous look, and she must see something in my expression that tells her what to do. “Linc, come on. Want to introduce you to someone.”
He grumbles but nods. “Fine. I’ll be right back.”
As soon as he turns his back, I glance at Aurora. “I need to sit down.”
Looking concerned, Aurora looks around and points toward two chairs in the corner. “Come on.”
Aurora waits as I sit down, grateful to be off my feet. My head spins and of course the nausea rises with it.
“Can I get you something? Maybe a drink? Club soda? Water?” Aurora asks.
“Maybe some club soda.” The bubbles might help settle my stomach.
Aurora smiles. “I’ll be right back.”
I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes. A few minutes and maybe all these symptoms will go away.
“I’m back.”
I hear Aurora’s voice, but keep my eyes closed, not ready to deal with the dizziness.
“When I was pregnant, I lived on sour sucking candies to help the nausea. You should try those,” Aurora says.
“You’re pregnant?” Linc’s voice has my eyelids opening fast. He’s standing behind his sister, his eyes huge in disbelief.
If my stomach was churning before, there are no words for what I’m feeling now. “Linc—”
“Oh, God, I’m sorry!” Aurora’s eyes fill with tears. “I didn’t mean for him to overhear.”
“It’s okay. Honest.” I seek to reassure the young woman. Meanwhile, Linc is still staring at me, shock clearly not allowing him to process what he’s heard.
Aurora shakes her head. “I’m going to… I guess I’ll just go.” She spins around and heads back into the VIP room.
With no choice but to face things head on, I rise to my feet.
“You’re pregnant,” Linc says again, his voice hard.
At his harsh tone, I begin to panic, breaking into a sweat, the dizziness worse. “I was going to tell you tonight.”
“How?”
I blink at the question. “Excuse me? I would think you could figure it out yourself. Maybe that ancient condom we used the first time?”
A muscle ticks in his jaw and all my fears rise to the surface. Another man who can’t handle the reality of getting me pregnant. Didn’t I just see Collin and his pregnant wife? I’m good enough to fuck but not good enough to stand by when things get tough.
And as Linc’s silence goes on, my mother’s words come back to me:
You aren’t family. I’m just reminding you of your place. One day that man you call your best friend is going to find a woman to marry, and where will that leave you?
“Shit,” he mutters, running an agitated hand through his hair.
I stiffen. “Don’t worry about it. This baby isn’t your problem.
I’m not your problem,” I say, desensitizing myself the same way I did all those years ago with my ex.
“Even if you wrote me a check like Collin or your father, I wouldn’t take it.
” I barely recognize the robotic voice coming out of my mouth, but sounding numb is better than showing him my pain.
My words seem to jolt him out of his state of shock. “Jordan—”
I don’t stick around to hear what he has to say. I brush past him and run out the door.