Chapter Eleven
Linc
Chloe drags me to meet a friend of hers who it turns out I already know and dislike.
A guy who tries to push an investment on me, here.
At my brother’s concert. Annoyed, I tell the man to call me at the office to make an appointment, and walk away, heading back to the spot where I left Jordan and Aurora.
I’ll be sure to tell Jordan not to put the man through when he calls.
As I cross the room, I realize the women aren’t where I left them, but I catch sight of Jordan sitting in a chair, eyes closed, her head tipped back against the wall. I stride toward her just as Aurora steps in front of Jordan, her back to me, a cup in her hand.
“When I was pregnant, I lived on sour sucking candies to help the nausea. You should try those,” Aurora says to Jordan.
Jesus fuck. She’s pregnant?
“You’re pregnant?” Shock blanks out all common sense, and I blurt out the question.
Jordan’s eyelids fly open, her gaze meeting mine, panic etched across her features. “Linc—”
“Oh, God, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean for him to overhear,” Aurora says, her voice shaking.
“It’s okay. Honest,” Jordan says in an attempt to soothe my obviously distraught sister.
But I don’t glance over. My attention remains on Jordan as I wait for her to deny it, to tell me I heard wrong or misunderstood.
“I’m going to… I guess I’ll just go.” Aurora spins around and heads back into the VIP room, leaving us alone.
Jordan rises unsteadily to her feet.
“You’re pregnant,” I say. Again, I hear the harshness in my tone, but all I can think about is the fact that kids are the last thing I ever wanted or planned.
She nods. “I was going to tell you tonight.”
“How?” If I had to name one thing I’m careful about, it’s using protection.
“Excuse me?” she asks, straightening her shoulders.
If looks could kill, I’d be dead on the spot.
“I would think you could figure that one out yourself. Maybe that ancient condom we used the first time?” she reminds me with no lack of sarcasm.
Son of a bitch, I think, clenching my jaw. I’d been so hot, so eager to get inside her, I hadn’t cared what kind of protection I used as long as I was covered.
How the fuck do I process this? I was fifteen when I discovered my father was cheating.
Seventeen when the man slapped me on the shoulder and said, “Always wrap up, son. You don’t want to end up with a kid you don’t want,” before I went out on a date one night.
Not to mention finding out about Aurora about a month ago.
But even before I learned my father got his secretary pregnant and abandoned the baby, I had promised myself I wouldn’t bring kids into the world.
Never wanted them to end up miserable like me and my siblings did.
“Shit,” I say louder than I should, running a frustrated, angry hand through my hair.
“Don’t worry about it. This baby isn’t your problem. I’m not your problem.” Jordan’s voice brings me back to the present.
I’ve never seen the blank look on her face before, and a sudden rush of fear runs through me. A different kind of fear than when I overheard she’s pregnant with my baby. I simply can’t get ahold of all my emotions. They were too big. Too panic-inducing.
“Even if you wrote me a check like Collin or your father, I wouldn’t take it,” she spits.
Oh, shit. Her words shake me to my core, and I realize exactly what my reaction has done. “Jordan—”
She looks past me and rushes for the door. A large group of people is entering, but she manages to barrel through them, and though I attempt to go after her, the crowd of fans here to see the band is too big, too rowdy.
And when I finally step out of the room, I look up and down the hallway, but I don’t see Jordan. There are so many people lined up against the wall I can’t hope to find her. And with an exit sign at both ends, I have no idea which way she went.
“Son of a bitch!” I slam my palm against the wall, the pain excruciating, but I don’t care.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I dial Max, who’s waiting in the town car in a nearby lot.
The man answers on the first ring. “Hi, Max. Have you heard from Jordan?”
“No, Mr. Kingston.”
I clench the cell tighter in my hand. “If she happens to call you, contact me immediately. I need to know she’s safe.”
“Of course. Is there anything else I can do?”
I groan. “No. If she doesn’t call you for a ride, I’m sure she’ll take an Uber. Do me a favor? In five minutes, start driving around. I’ll meet you at the same exit where you dropped us off. Thank you.” I disconnect the call.
I intend to meet Jordan back at her apartment and discuss things more rationally, but I need to let my family know I’m leaving or else they’ll worry.
I don’t explain my reasons for rushing out, but I do take the time to pull Aurora into a reassuring hug. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But it was Jordan’s place to tell you.” She blinks back tears.
I have a feeling she’s afraid she’ll lose the family she’s just found. “I overheard you. You didn’t intentionally tell me. Now please try and enjoy the rest of the night. I’m going to find her and we’ll talk.”
I glance at Chloe, who obviously also knows about Jordan’s pregnancy, and she steps up to wrap an arm around Aurora’s shoulder. “Come on. Dash and the guys are finishing up. Let’s go hang out with them, okay?”
I nod my thanks to Chloe, who smiles reassuringly as she leads Aurora away.
“Linc? Is everything okay?” my mother asks.
I meet her concerned gaze. “It will be. But I have a feeling I’m going to need to talk to you soon. It’s too complicated to get into now.”
She narrows her eyes. “Well, now I am worried.”
I pat her hand. “Don’t be. I just need to fix some things I screwed up.” I just hope like hell Jordan is open to listening.
I make my way down the escalators at the Garden, find the VIP exit I told Max to park near, then call my driver and meet up with him.
“Did you hear from Ms. Greene?” Max asks.
“No.” I’ve been continuously checking my phone.
Once I’m in the car and can concentrate without weaving my way through people, I call her, but it goes straight to voicemail.
Next, I text her: I fucked up. I’m coming over to talk.
I keep an eye on the screen, but it doesn’t show she’s seen it. Either she’s ignoring me or she’s changed her settings not to show other people she’s read her messages.
Throughout the ride uptown, my stomach churns with concern. She’s run off by herself, upset. My shock has worn off, as have the thoughts I let fester in the back of my mind for years. I had a knee-jerk reaction to words I never thought to hear and responded like a complete jackass.
I’m not proud of myself, and I’m worried about what I’ve done to Jordan’s feelings, knowing I’d been no better than Collin the asshole. I curl my hands into fists and wish the time would pass faster, but eventually we pull up in front of her building.
“Hang out, Max?”
“Sure thing, Mr. Kingston.”
“Thank you.” I open the door and slide out, rushing inside.
The doorman greets me on sight with a friendly nod, which means Jordan hasn’t put me on a not-allowed-to-come-up list. “Hi, Jerry. Can you please tell Ms. Greene I’m here?”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Kingston. She’s out tonight. She left earlier and I haven’t seen her since.” The man sitting behind the desk in a black long-sleeve collared shirt shrugs in apology.
I narrow my eyes. “Is there any chance you took a break and missed her?”
The middle-aged man shakes his head. “Sorry. I’ve been here all night. Although I could use a break now,” he says with a laugh I can’t bring myself to return.
“Thanks.” I slap my hand on the desk and head back to the car.
I climb in. “Let me think for a few minutes, please.”
Max nods.
Where could Jordan have gone?
Her sister lives in Westchester County, where she has a job as a court clerk. Jordan might have taken a car there. I have Claire’s number in my phone in case of an emergency, and I look up her name, hitting send on the number.
A quick conversation and I strike out there, too. I had to tap-dance my way around not being able to reach Jordan on the phone but convincing Claire her sister is fine.
Friends? Jordan’s social circle is small. She hasn’t kept in touch with high school friends. Most of her college people have moved out of state, and though she’s friendly with some of the office staff, I don’t think she’d confide in anyone there. Any other friends I don’t know well enough to call.
I drum my fingers on the seat beside me. That leaves her mother, I think, with a loud groan. There’s a fifty-fifty shot Jordan will go to the one woman who will only say, I told you so, if Jordan tells her the truth. And if she has gone to her mom, there’s no way Tamara will let me in.
I’ve fucked up so badly, I’ve become the man I never wanted to be, reacting like my father. I didn’t throw money at the situation, but I didn’t step up like a man. The man I want to be.
Running a hand over my face, then through my hair, I know I have no choice but to go home, keep calling and texting. And hope she eventually responds.
* * *
Jordan
I tell the Uber I called to drive around but head toward the address I put into the app, my parents’ house in Queens. I need time to pull myself together before I face my mother.
All the I told you so’s are going to hurt, mostly because this is Linc we’re talking about, and despite my fears, I so wanted to trust him. And his reaction is like a punch in the gut. Or the heart. Basically both. I could go to my sister’s house, but a big part of me wants my mother.
When I was pregnant the first time, I was young and too afraid to admit the truth to my mom. I lost the baby before finding the courage to tell her, and I kept it hidden. But I’m ready to stand up for myself and my choices now. No matter the consequences.