Chapter Eleven
H annah stumbled out of the hospital and shielded her blurry eyes from the bright morning sun. Somehow the brilliant blue sky made her heart splinter all over again. She’d gone to the intensive care unit after her shift to check on the six patients they’d transported. Only one had died. The young mom. The one she’d assured would be back caring for her baby soon. Her chin trembled as pain lodged in her throat. She inhaled a shuddery breath, unable to move forward. Unable to go back. How long would she see those pleading gray eyes every time she closed her own?
Something hard and rough bumped her back. A concrete wall. She always parked at the top of the garage, so she could be greeted by the sky and fresh air when she left the scents of antiseptic and blood behind her. She needed to get home, pack her bags for Texas, and shower off the scent of death.
First, though, she needed a minute. She slid down the wall, barely registering the pain of her back scraping the concrete. When her butt hit the ground, she tucked her legs up to her chest, resting her face against her knees. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been there when the air changed. A large shadow fell over her, and she glanced up to find Branch hovering over her with a worried expression on his face. He crouched at her side and slid one arm beneath her knees and wrapped the other around her back. He stood effortlessly, cradling her as he began to walk. “Got you, baby.” His lips were warm against her temple, arms strong and safe. She hadn’t realized how cold she was until his large frame was wrapped around her, radiating heat into her chilled skin. He didn’t ask why she’d been sitting on the hard ground or demand she tell him what was wrong.
She turned her face into his chest and let herself be taken care of for once. Giving him complete control wasn’t as hard as she thought it would be. Maybe that’s because some part of her heart knew he wasn’t going to let her down. She was safer in his arms than anywhere else in the world. Then she did something she hadn’t since before she could remember. She cried in the presence of another human being. The first tear made her jolt. The second she let fall freely. The significance of her actions wasn’t lost on her. Not only did she trust Hunter to care for her physical safety, she trusted him to guard her emotional well-being, too. She didn’t have to hide from him. Even as grief coursed through her, some of the weight she’d been carrying for so long slipped off her shoulders.
“So brave.” His breath tickled the sensitive place where her forehead met her hairline. After years of masking her emotions, of pretending her feelings didn’t exist, those first few rogue tears turned into sobs broken from somewhere caged deep. Hunter just held her tighter, and somehow shifted her to open his car door without putting her down. He had bypassed the passenger side and got right into the driver’s seat, adjusting her more snugly on his lap. Each time the sorrow shadowed her, Hunter was there, holding her, anchoring her. Burning bright enough to chase away the darkness she hadn’t known she carried.
She cried for the mom who wouldn’t watch her baby grow, and the infant who wouldn’t remember how her eyes went soft with love when she looked at him. She cried for Russell, who’d drowned before his son was born, and for Collin, who’d never known him. For the patients she’d lost over the years. For her own lack of nurturing parents and loving siblings, and all the while Hunter held her close and rocked her. Murmured sweet words against her skin and hair.
There was a knock on the car window, and she jumped. “Shh. It’s okay. Silver is just here to get your keys.”
“My keys?” Her nose was stuffed up from crying.
“Yeah, baby. To take your car home so I can drive you.”
She sucked in a breath, touched at the lengths this man and his team would go to keep one of their own safe. She’d never belonged to anyone before. It felt nice. She reached into her pocket and drew out her key fob. Warm air seeped into the car when Hunter rolled down the window. She angled her chin to glance up at Silver. When he looked at her, empathy flashed in his dark blue eyes. “It takes its toll, being on front lines. You’re one of us. A warrior. But even warriors need to offload the burden. Let Branch carry some of it, darlin’.” Silver shocked her by placing his hand on the top of her head, like an older brother might. A fresh wave of tears threatened. Silver was talking to Hunter now, and she let the conversation fade around her. When Hunter kissed her temple and inhaled her scent, she was surprised to find them alone again with the window rolled up. God, maybe she’d passed out on him.
“I’m sorry—”
“No apologies. Nothing to be sorry for. Do you remember what Silver told you?”
She didn’t say anything, not because she couldn’t remember his words, but because he was so wrong. There was nothing remotely comparable between her and Hunter’s SEAL team. She wouldn’t deny the importance of her job or even that she was some people’s last shot at survival, but no one could convince her that her sacrifices, her trauma, compared to someone in the armed forces.
“You need to let some of the weight go. Give it to me to carry. Talk it out with a professional who can help unravel the anger and guilt.”
“How do you know I feel that?” Because she did. God, she did. Scenarios rolled through her brain of things she could’ve done differently. Better.
“Because that’s what I feel in the field. What we all do. We both see the worst of the worst, Han. The saddest shit imaginable. There’s no shame in seeking help.”
“What I do, what I see on a daily basis pales in comparison to you and your team. I get to come home at the end of my shift and see my son. You could be out in the field for months at a time. I get to rest my head on a pillow at night. I bet you don’t have the luxury in the places you travel. You probably see more carnage on one mission than I do in an entire year.”
“It’s not about whose trauma is worse. It’s still there. It still eats away at your soul from the inside out. And trust me, some of the accidents and shootings stateside look just as bad here as they do across seas.”
“And while you’re carrying around all my burdens, who’s going to help with yours?”
There was a beat of silence. “You. Remember? Bravest together. I might not be able to tell you the specifics of a mission, but I do know when I’m in pain, when I’ve reached my threshold for humanity, you’ll be the one I go to. The one who will ground me. You’re my equal. My partner. Someone strong enough to handle anything life hands us.”
She was so touched by his words, her own were locked up tight in her throat. He didn’t let it be awkward, though. He must’ve sensed that she was sorting things out in her head.
“My house is close. Really close. I know you probably have some last-minute things to pack, but can I bring you there first?”
She nodded, not really sure what he was asking, but she was so bone-tired she didn’t care where they went as long as she could sleep. “’Kay. Long as we beat the bus to my house.”
Hunter helped her into the passenger seat and grabbed a sweatshirt from the back, tucking it around her like a blanket. Her head lolled, but she jerked awake. He deserved an explanation after an hour of supporting her through the breakdown. As if sensing her thought, he said, “Sleep. I’ll take you home.” Home. Was he referring to his or hers? Either way, a little thrill rushed through her chest. Hunter and Collin both under one roof? Listening to them in the kitchen making one of their creations or tossing a ball together outside was enough to make her melt, but before she could do that, sleep—hard and deep—stole her.
*
Hannah stretched, and buried her nose further into the downy pillow, drawing Hunter’s fresh, zesty scent into her lungs. It felt like she was lying on a big cloud, definitely not her own small bed at home. The light was bright inside the room. She gasped and sat up quickly. Collin. What time was it? How long had she slept? There was no one in the bed beside her even though she could’ve sworn strong arms had been wrapped around her waist. She barely recalled showering and Hunter helping her into some of his clothes.
She reached up to find the tips of her hair still damp. She tossed back the comforter, swung her feet to the floor, and stood. The light oak planks were cool beneath her bare feet. She took in her surroundings. The room was beautiful with cathedral ceilings and natural light spilling from a large window. The space was gorgeous, but the one feature she couldn’t take her eyes off was the framed picture hanging on Hunter’s wall. The only one in the entire room. The card Collin had made Hunter. The one she’d delivered to the hospital. Her heart beat faster. If Hunter hadn’t come after her, if he hadn’t insisted on wedging himself into their lives, she could’ve lost this before she even had it. Before she realized how rare and precious their connection was.
Fear had held her back in the beginning, but she couldn’t deny what she felt for him any longer. It had shimmered beneath her skin for some time now, but she was finally ready to recognize it for what it was. Hunter was meant to be hers. Hers and Collin’s. He was the person who completed their family.
She glanced at the clock. It was noon. They had three and a half hours before they had to meet the bus at her house. Alone time was rare, and although she wasn’t ready to share the words with Hunter, she wanted more. Him. She wandered into the hall and the buttery scent of…something delicious made her stomach growl. She found the stairs and took them to the first floor. The entire layout was light and airy with an open living room, kitchen, and dining area.
“Morning.” Hunter flashed her a smile. One of the full-blown ones that made dimples pop on his cheeks. Her stomach went weightless, like she was free-falling. Or maybe that was exactly what she was doing.
“Hi.” She crossed to the large center island where Hunter stood with spatula and a griddle, flipping grilled cheese. Nothing sounded more delicious at the moment, except for maybe Hunter himself. She walked right into him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He stilled. She heard the clank of the spatula against the granite, then his arms came around her. Encompassing her.
“You were right,” she murmured, cheek pressed up against the softness of his shirt. “I need a way to manage the grief my job brings. Even though I’ll never agree that we’re on the same playing field, there are things I can’t unsee that I need to deal with. Thanks for having my back this morning.” She released her hold, dropping her arms to her sides.
“I’ll always have your back, Hannah. Every time.” He caressed the length of her hair. The affectionate gestures made her feel cared for. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not yet. I need to put it to the side for just a little while. Focus on all the good in my life. Including you.” She emphasized those last words, hoping he’d find truth in them.
“The first thing you’re going to focus on is eating. Go sit on the couch. It’s more comfortable than the island or the dining room.”
She took a breath and offered him a smile. “I think I like this bossy side of you.”
Heat flared in his eyes. “Go sit, Han.”
She turned and made her way to the couch, a secret grin on her face. Moments later Hunter carried in two plates and sat beside her.
“Grilled cheese and tomato soup is one of my favorites.” She didn’t wait, but rather dug right in. The buttered toast and melted cheese was the exact comfort food she needed, and the hot soup warmed her up from the inside out.
“That was amazing,” she said when she polished off her plate.
“I can manage a grilled cheese. Soup I have to cheat with Panera.”
“Hunter?”
“Yeah?” His hand came to rest just above her knee. The simple touch had desire kindling in her gut.
“Thank you for taking care of me. For still wanting me after I shut you down at the hospital. After I raged at you for telling Rochelle you were coming to the wedding before we had a chance to talk it out.”
“Never have to thank me for that.” His hand was caressing her leg so sweetly, she doubted he understood the deep burn it was causing.
“You need to know I want you, too. The feelings I have for you…they’re big.”
His eyes darkened. “Hannah.” Half whisper, half desperate plea. Enough encouragement for her to shift and throw one leg over his lap so she was straddling him. She leaned in, taking her time dragging in his fresh scent. Then she kissed his corded neck, felt his pounding pulse beneath her tongue. Clean and pure. That was how he tasted. Branch fisted his hands in her hair, angling her face to kiss her.
There was no slow and sweet, and that made her heart rate beat into overdrive. His lips were demanding, his tongue meeting hers stroke for stroke. He tasted of basil from the soup, and something sweeter. His fingers dug into her hips, pulling her into him more forcefully, so the result of his attraction was hard against her stomach. Maybe it was the jeans he was wearing, but the outline was long and thick. Under normal circumstances she’d be concerned. It had been a long time, but she was already slick, already rubbing against him trying to ease the pulsing ache at her center.
“Jesus, baby.” Hunter held her shoulders, separating them. They were both breathing hard, sucking down air like it was going to evaporate any second. “I did not bring you here with sex on my mind.”
“No, but it is on mine.”
“I’m not going to question if this is what you really want. Not when those gorgeous eyes are telling me everything I need to know.”
“I’m not on birth control. This will be my first time since…before.”
“I’ve got us covered, but you can say his name, baby. I’m grateful to Russell for giving you the care and normalcy you needed. For giving you Collin. You should know it’s been a long time for me, too. A real long time.” He stood up without warning, hands cupping her bottom securely. Her legs wrapped against his waist as he kissed her again. She had no clue how he was navigating the hallway, but she couldn’t bring herself to care when his mouth was moving with hers. He wouldn’t let her fall, not even as they climbed the stairs. The door to the bedroom squeaked open.
“Gonna put you down.” He lowered her to the floor. “Arms up.” She did as he asked, watching his face as he lifted her shirt up and over her head. His chest was rising and falling with each breath he heaved in. His gaze swept her body and the fire that flashed in his eyes had her reaching behind her to unfasten the clasp to her bra. As it fell to the floor, a groan broke from his lips. He stepped closer. His hands trembled as he lifted them to her cheeks and stroked down her skin to her jawline, then skimmed to her neck and shoulders in a featherlight touch. A full-body shiver coursed through her.
His hands traveled down her arms and up her stomach, pausing before carrying the barely there touch over her breasts. He’d scarcely touched her but when the rough pads of his thumbs teased the stiff peaks again, she gasped, a jolt of electricity traveling from the sensitive tips straight to her core, intensifying the hollow ache at the apex of her thighs.
She toyed around the waist of his jeans before following the hard lines of his hips, working the fitted denim down as he plumped her breasts, rolling her nipples between his thumbs and fingers. She pushed his jeans just below his thighs, and he pulled her flush against him, but not before his thick cock bobbed free. One hand snaked around her back, pinning her against him while the other gripped her hair, pulling her lips to his, tongue sweeping into her mouth with a claiming stroke. When he broke the kiss to yank off his shirt, they were both still trying to catch their breath.
He scooped her up, tossing her to the middle of the bed. She yelped as he followed her down to the mattress and flipped her over so she was kneeling over his broad chest. He shot her a wicked grin, eyes nearly black. “I’ve fantasized about you in this bed more times than I can count. You’re fucking perfect, Hannah. So beautiful.” His large palm fell on her waist, drawing her close, so her breasts were inches from his lips. Anticipation coiled in her belly. A rumble left his lips as he molded his palms around them, sucking one hard bud into his mouth. Teasing with his teeth and tongue before turning his attention to the other. When he removed his mouth, the cool air of the room hitting her sensitive, damp skin bordered on painful.
“Hands on the headboard,” he ground out. Wetness seeped from her core. She wasn’t sure what he was about to do, but she was down for anything that made his voice that raw. When she was clinging to the board above his head, he gripped her hips and lifted her over his face. Despite the intimate position, when he inhaled deeply and groaned, her mind didn’t register embarrassment. She was too far gone. Too desperate to have his hands, mouth, anything on and inside her. He lifted his head, bringing her closer at the same time, and dragged his tongue from her core to clit. “So sweet.” He tortured her, dipping his tongue into her center, nibbling the sensitive bundle of nerves between her thighs until she was rocking against him. “Love how you taste.”
“Quit teasing.” Her hands were blanched as she clung to the headboard, body taut and shaking.
One hand left her hip and he pushed two fingers inside her. “So wet, beautiful. Hold tight.” He began pumping his fingers in and out as he lapped his tongue over her clit. She was so close, so—
His lips closed around her, sucking hard, and she shattered, pleasure crashing over her, wave after wave. She couldn’t wrap her head around the pleasure he’d just given her, but knew she wanted more. She scrambled off his face and down his body, nearly sobbing with relief as she wrapped her hands around his length. His hands went to his sides, fisting the sheets as she rubbed the head of his erection against her slick folds.
She was so mindless with need, she began to lower down, letting the head dip into her center. He hissed out a breath, and flipped her to her back in one fluid movement. “You’re killing me, Han. As much as I’d love to take you bare, as much as I want to fill you up, eventually ditch any kind of birth control and watch our baby grow inside you, we need to talk it through before I take you how I want.” Our baby? His mind had already traveled down that path? She’d never considered it before meeting Hunter, but thinking of a little boy or girl with his dark features and dimples made her heart falter. Hunter reached to the nightstand and opened the drawer. She couldn’t shake the image of Hunter’s hands splayed over her rounded belly. The sound of foil tearing brought her back. He rolled on the condom and parted her legs, giving himself more space. He notched himself at her center, and pushed inside with an animalistic sound tumbling from his lips. He stilled. “Okay?”
She nodded. “Keep moving.”
Even with the heat crackling between them he chuckled. “Now who’s bossy?” He nuzzled her neck, kissed the tip of her nose as he moved inside her. She closed her eyes, embarrassed by the burn that tingled behind her lids. Hadn’t she cried enough in the past six hours? “Eyes up here, baby. Don’t hide from me.” She obeyed, meeting his gaze. The intensity of emotions burning in their depths was enough to make her breath hitch.
“You’re mine, Hannah.” He thrust into her again and again, pleasure building higher and higher. “Let go. You’re right there. I can feel it.” He slipped his hand between them and stroked her clit. She came again, harder than she thought possible. He shouted her name and stilled over her, body rigid as he pulsed inside her.