Taeja

40. Chapter 40

40

Something rushed around her. Liquid, it seemed like, but her dazed mind made her unsure.

Somewhere in this darkness, she hoped she’d find the strength she lost in this unexpected crash.

Something tugged her upward. This touch was filled with warmth, contrasting the chill running through her veins and pricking the hairs on her skin.

Oxygen filled her lungs, dispelling the water out of her mouth. She toppled over and coughed. Her throat stung as the mixture ran free. Her heart pounded in her ear, too loud for her to hear the voice above her.

Another voice entered the mix and suddenly, hands were all over her as something fluffy wrapped around her body.

She was being moved.

Then all at once, the fog lifted, and she could breathe and see clearly again.

She was sitting on the edge of the bed. Her guys were on either side of her.

“Fuck,” Zain exhaled, running a hand down his face. He looked freshly showered in his white Tee and black shorts.

Damon’s shaking hands cupped her face. “Baby, are you okay?”

“I-I don’t know what happened. I was bathing, then I started crying, and I—” She choked on a sob.

Zain looked at his brother. “Sub-drop.”

Damon tugged her to his chest and kissed her forehead. Gently rubbing her back, he laid them on the bed. She threw an arm around him, burying her face in Damon’s chest as he held her close. Zain crawled into the bed behind her.

“Why did you have sex with me like that?” Taeja asked, her voice small.

“You didn’t like it?” Zain asked.

“I did, but—” She sniffled. “You guys just left me and I—”

“You didn’t want us to leave?” Damon asked, and she shook her head against his chest.

Damon held her tighter. “We’re sorry. It’s been a while since we shared a girlfriend, so we stuck to the old rule.”

“What rule?” she hiccupped, pulling away to look at him.

Damon’s brows furrowed, his eyes swirling with concern. “If you ask for space, the most we’ll give you is five minutes while one of us stays outside the room. I waited four minutes, but it didn’t feel right leaving you by yourself after all that just happened to you for the first time, so I came in and saw you—” He paused. Tears rushed to his eyes, and he blinked them away. “You scared us.”

Taeja’s lips trembled. “I’m sorry…”

He firmly kissed her, then pulled away, drying her tears. “Don’t apologize. It’s our fault, we messed up. We shouldn’t have left you.”

She nodded weakly as more tears came from her eyes. She buried her face in Damon’s chest again. “Why do I feel like this?”

“How do you feel?”

“I feel dirty,” she whispered, and Damon held her tighter. “Sad. Weak.”

“It’s called sub-drop, Taeja,” Zain explained, and she turned around to look at him. Zain’s jaws clenched.

“Sub-drop?” she asked.

“The sweet feeling you get when we have sex is a subspace. But what you’re feeling right now is a sub-drop. You were alone and falling from the high you had during sex,” he explained, his voice gentle. “Do you understand?”

She nodded.

“Do you want to shower again?” Damon asked.

Taeja shook her head. “No… Do you love me?” she whispered.

“We love you, Taeja,” Zain stated .

Her heart palpitated. He’d never expressed his love for her so strongly before.

A small smile crawled on her face. “Can you hold me?”

He nodded. “Drink this first,” he said, opening a bottle of a liquid with electrolytes and handing it to her.

She accepted it and drank a few sips before giving it back to him. He put the bottle aside, then laid down behind her. Damon released her, and she turned around. Zain threw an arm over her waist and pulled her to him.

Damon leaned forward and kissed her forehead, then her lips. “Do you want to watch a rom-com?”

Taeja smiled and nodded. “Yes!”

Zain chuckled. “She’d never deny that.”

“True,” Damon agreed. He grabbed the remote and turned the television on, finding Taeja’s favorite show.

She glued her eyes to the TV, and the men quietly watched it with her. The cold, unsettling feeling was passing her slowly… “I have a question.”

Damon paused the show, turning over onto his side and resting his head on his hand. “We’re listening.”

“Will I always feel like this when we have sex like that?”

Damon shook his head. “No, baby. You went into sub-drop because we left you,” he said, making her heart sink. “It won’t happen again.”

“Yeah,” Zain co-signed. “So, can you try to not fall asleep after we fuck you?”

Damon glared at Zain. “Do you have to be so vulgar?”

Taeja sighed. “Can you guys not argue right now…”

“Sorry,” Damon apologized while Zain gently squeezed her waist. “But Zain is right. Aftercare is important. It helps reassure you that we still love and care for you despite whatever we might do when having sex with you. We’ve been allowing you to sleep because we want you to get more used to being in a relationship with us at your own pace. However, staying awake so we can give you proper aftercare will lessen the chances of you falling into sub-drop.”

“I’m sorry…”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Zain rushed out. “It’s our fault, and we’ll do better the next time you want to have sex with both of us. ”

“Thanks for explaining it to me. I didn’t know that’s what it was…”

“What kind of men would we be if we were not patient with you?” Damon asked, and Zain hummed.

“So, we can watch rom-coms and you hold me after every time?” Taeja asked, and Damon nodded before kissing her nose.

“If that’s what you want every time, of course,” Damon assured.

Taeja smiled, and she looked at the TV. “Can we go back to watching the show now?”

Damon nodded. “Sure,” he said, pressing play on the remote. “But can I go shower? I reek of sex.”

Taeja chuckled, nodding. “Yes, Damon. I’ll be okay.”

Damon shot a warning glare at Zain before smiling at Taeja. “I’ll be quick,” he promised, then hopped out the bed and ran out of the room.

“Zain?”

“Taeja?” Zain asked.

“Can I sleep now?”

Zain’s hold tightened. “Yeah.”

Her eyes fluttered open. It was much later now, and her guys were still on either side of her. A new rom-com was on. They were fixated on it. She stirred, and they looked at her.

Damon smiled. “Hey, sleepyhead. How do you feel?”

“I want my dad,” she blurted, making Damon’s brows furrow.

“No.” Zain glared as she sat up to lie against the headboard like he and Damon were doing.

“Can we please not argue?” she asked, and they exchanged a glance. She’d learned to read them better, and they were clearly against it. “I’m okay now,” she insisted. “I just want my dad.”

Zain sighed. “Okay, we’ll drop you there.”

She didn’t answer. She kissed them before crawling out of bed. Grabbing her phone, she went to the bathroom and tugged on one of Zain’s shirts and shorts. She returned to the room to see Damon waiting at the door. “Where’s Zain?”

“He went to bring the car around to the front.”

“I called my dad. He’s coming for me.”

“Oh…” Damon said. “I’ll let Zain know.”

They went to the front and told Zain. Zain clenched his jaw, but he didn’t protest. They waited outside with her until Jerry came, and he drove her home in silence. Taeja exited the car and waited at the front door for Jerry to let her in.

Jerry stared down at her while working the key into the door. “What happened this time?”

She held her head low. “Can we talk in the morning?” she asked, and Jerry pursed his lips before allowing her into the house. Taeja went upstairs, crawled into her bed, and stared at the poster on the wall opposite the window. She held a pillow to her chest, wishing it was Kirone… or her guys.

Taeja knew Damon and Zain loved her, but she just needed to be alone for tonight. She never knew that this would be happening to her again…

She woke up with arms around her — one around her waist and the other covering the lower half of her face.

Taeja blinked rapidly.

This was Zain. How did he get here?

She elbowed him, and he stirred awake.

“Morning,” came his husky voice in her ear.

Unable to speak with his arm covering her mouth, she mumbled.

“Shit. Sorry.” Zain moved his arm from over her mouth, but didn’t move the one around her waist.

“When did you get here?” she asked.

“Last night,” he replied.

“How did you get in?”

“Through the front door. ”

Her brows furrowed. “The door wasn’t locked?”

“I picked the lock.”

“Oh… but I said I wanted to be alone,” she murmured.

“You’re having trouble sleeping and were still in sub-drop when you wanted to see your dad. We didn’t want you to be alone.”

Taeja smiled, thankful they were stubborn. “Thanks, Zain. I love the both of you.”

“We love you too, Taeja.”

“I know.” She smiled. “Okay, hands off, so I can go pee.”

He released her, and she went to her bathroom to relieve herself. While brushing her teeth, she smiled at her reflection in the mirror. As awful as this might sound, she missed this house. Beneath all the terrible memories, Taeja made a lot of good ones.

Losing her first tooth and standing on a stool to watch the new growth every day…

Cassedi hugging her to sleep every night and humming a lullaby in her ear…

Jerry sitting her down to awkwardly explain periods even though Miss Charm had already done that…

Taeja chuckled. The memories were all so bittersweet.

Zain came into the bathroom. “What are you laughing about?”

“Some old memories.”

“Hm…” He lifted the toilet seat and took his dick out.

Taeja blushed and looked away.

“Your mouth, pussy, and ass know my dick. Why are you looking away?”

Her eyes widened. “You know seh yu nav nun bout yu?” she said before grabbing an extra toothbrush beneath the sink and leaving it there for him. “I’ll be back.” She exited the room and went downstairs.

Jerry was drinking coffee and glancing at his wristwatch every so often. Seeing her, he jumped to his feet. “Good morning.”

“Morning. I didn’t know you were here—” she said, gulping while glancing upstairs.

“Is this not my house?” Jerry asked .

“Sorry for being here… And dragging you away from whatever you were doing last night.”

Jerry’s eyes lowered at her words. He sighed, then sat. “Come here, Taeja.” He watched as she gulped before sitting at the far end of the same sofa. “What happened last night?”

She played with her fingers atop her lap. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Do not tell me that,” Jerry hissed. “The only times you call me crying is when you wake up naked and alone after opening your legs to a man you don’t know.”

“That was only two times…”

“It does not matter!” he exclaimed, making her flinch. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sorry. I did not mean to raise—” Jerry’s eyes snapped to the staircase as Zain took long, loud steps down it.

Zain glared at Jerry as he reached the bottom. “Who the fuck are you yelling at?”

Jerry clenched his jaw. “Taeja, I will not say anything about you having him in my house all night, but tell him to mind his business before I call the police for trespassing.”

Zain laughed. “You think I’m scared of the police?”

Taeja sighed. “Zain… We’re just talking. I’m fine, I promise,” she said, but Zain was unmoved. “I’ll call you if I need you,” she said, and he nodded before moving to somewhere else in the house.

“He has no respect for the law. Is that the type of man you want to be with?” Jerry asked.

“Nuh mek mi diss yu, Jerry. Yu better watch yu mouth when yu talk bout him because if he comes in here, I’m not stopping him,” Taeja threatened, narrowing her eyes.

Jerry glared back. Taeja didn’t dare to look away until he gave in.

He ran a hand down his face, looked down at his watch, then back at her. “You have been ignoring my calls…” Jerry said, a trace of hurt in his tone.

Taeja furrowed her brows. “Why yu surprise? You pushed me away.”

Jerry’s shoulders sagged. “I did not intend for all of this to happen, Taeja.”

“All of what? ”

“Hurting you and your mother,” he stated solemnly. “You have to understand that my mother has always been the only one completely honest to and accepting of me since I was born. It is hard for me to disbelieve her.”

“So, you’re telling me that your wife and daughter were hurting before your eyes, but you ignored it because your mother told you not to?”

Jerry hung his head low. “Yes, but see my side—”

“I don’t want to see your side. You’re a lawyer, Jerry. The best one I know. People aren’t supposed to easily deceive you, and you let Teddy get into your head time and time again. The damage is already done.” She stood. “I’m leaving. Don’t call me ag—”

Jerry jumped to his feet. “Please give me a chance to make it up to you, Taeja. You are all I have.”

“A now yaa see dat, Jerry? Why mi fi give you another chance?”

“Because I regret what I did to you. I thought I was doing what was best for you, but Cassedi made me realize I was not.”

Taeja’s brows furrowed. “You spoke to Cassedi?”

He nodded. “I called her after you called, and we spoke for a while. I am going to Jamaica today. That is what I have been wanting to tell you. I am trying to right my wrongs, and that starts with you.”

The ice around her heart was melting…

This was all she’d ever wanted in life — her father being willing to be a good man to her. But she’d been traumatized by him for too long now. Maybe this was a ploy.

“I’ll forgive you only if Cassedi does,” Taeja stated firmly.

Jerry’s tense stance slackened. “Thank you, Taeja,” he said, and she nodded. He glanced at his watch again. “I am running behind schedule, but look—” He grabbed his briefcase, which rested on the suitcase. He took out an envelope, stretching it toward Taeja. “This contains a new card with the money I took from your old account and the allowance you would have still gotten. It has my name on it, and I will remove it if you want the card.”

Taeja looked from the envelope to her father. She was unsure what to say.

Jerry continued, “I am no longer in contact with Teddy. I cannot promise that I will accept your boyfriends, but I will respect them so long as they respect me.”

Taeja teared up. She wanted to rush over and hug him, but she stood firm. She wiped away the tears and nodded. “Okay, Jerry. I hear you. But will you continue paying my utility bills for the semester? You promised you would—”

“I will,” he promised. “Cassedi told me you have a job.”

“I do… Thanks.” She accepted the envelope, and for the first time in a long while, Jerry smiled at her. Warmth filled Taeja as she smiled back.

Jerry looked at his watch. “I need to go now.”

“How long yaa stay?” She watched him grab his suitcase and briefcase.

“However long it takes my wife to forgive me.”

Taeja nodded. “Safe flight, Jerry.”

Nodding, he walked toward the exit, then paused. He looked at her with a soft smile, then closed the door behind himself.

Taeja rested the envelope on the glass-top table, then went in search of Zain. “ZAIN?!”

“Kitchen!” Zain yelled back.

She rerouted in that direction. There he was — leaning against the counter with a large knife resting atop it.

Taeja’s eyes widened. “What were you going to do with that?”

“Why are you asking rhetorical questions?”

Taeja grabbed the knife, then put it away.

“What do you want to eat?” he asked.

“Anything you make is fine,” she said, and he nodded before approaching the pantry. “Where’s Damon?”

“He’s on his way back from the office.”

“Oh…” Taeja answered, remembering that he had an important board meeting early this morning.

“Do you want pancakes?”

“No,” she laughed. “Yago write F U pon Damon’s pancakes again.”

Zain snickered. “He knows I don’t mean it.”

Taeja rolled her eyes with a smile, watching him grab bacon and eggs from the fridge. He grabbed his phone, typed for a while, then started cooking. Taeja rested her head in her hand while she watched him. When Damon came, she let him in.

“Good morning, gorgeous.” Damon bent to kiss her cheeks and mouth. “How are you feeling?”

She smiled. “Good morning. I’m feeling better. How was your meeting?”

“We can talk about it later. I want to focus on you. How did you sleep?” he asked as they headed to the kitchen.

“Good.” She sat at the island, watching Damon take a small bundle out of his briefcase and toss it toward Zain. “Where yu get fever grass from?”

“Our house.”

“ Our. Mi love tha word deh isi.”

Damon snickered as he sat beside her.

“Look how we tek ova mi father place,” she joked.

“Nobody gives a fuck about him,” Zain said, making Taeja roll her eyes.

They had small talk until the food was ready, and they ate with good conversations, too.

“That was good. Thanks, Zain,” Taeja said, wiping the grease away from her mouth with a napkin. “An apple would be nice to wash it down.”

“You want an apple?” Zain reached for his phone.

“I have a lot of apples at school, so you don’t have to get any for me. I know how you are,” she said, and he moved his hand away from his phone.

Zain cleared his throat as Damon grabbed their plates and moved to the sink to wash up while giving him a pressing stare.

“What is it?” Taeja asked.

“I want us to talk about your limits,” Zain said.

She shook her head. “You want a submissive outlet when you’re angry, and I will be that for you. I trust you, Zain. I love everything you do to me. If I ever reach my limit, I know what to say and do if I want you to stop. Just don’t make me fall asleep when you’re done, because I don’t want to feel like that again.”

The brothers glanced at each other. Zain had a small smirk when he looked back at her.

“Okay, Taeja,” Zain said.

Finished with the dishes, Damon stood beside Zain. “Baby, do you want to go see if you can climb down the tree without getting stuck this time?”

“I got a thousand on her getting stuck again,” Zain said.

“I won’t bet because I know she’s getting stuck again.”

Taeja gasped. “Mi cya stand unu!” she exclaimed, and they laughed. She rolled her eyes and grabbed her vibrating phone to see a text from Liyah.

The ring has been in me for an hour and I haven’t vomited yet. I’m taking that as a good sign.

Fingers crossed this one works for you.

Me, too. Me tired fi tek condom fuck.

Yu like risk?

Looking at her last text, Taeja snickered. She’d always planned on taking her implant out as soon as she graduated, so Liyah wasn’t half as risky as she was. But with the way Damon came in her regularly, they might have well had been working on their first child already.