41. Chapter 41
41
She cleared her throat, tapping her fingers on her thighs and looking away from him. She felt his eyes on her, recommitting all her features to memory.
As was expected of a man who hadn’t seen his wife in nine years.
“Cass,” Jerry breathed, and she tensed, forcing herself to look at him. He looked much different from what she remembered. He’d aged a lot, but beneath it all, he was still the Jerry Marley she fell in love with… or so she hoped.
“Yes?” she asked, her voice weak. She cleared her throat, straightened her shoulders, and said firmly, “Yes?”
He smiled. “It is really good to see you.”
“You’ve been telling me that since you got here an hour ago,” Cassedi replied, wondering if she made a mistake by extending a welcome to her house.
She pushed away the silly thought. Jerry hadn’t been to Jamaica in years, and he wasn’t familiar with St. Ann. She rather him stay with her than at a hotel in an environment he didn’t know.
“You are not giving me the chance to say anything else,” Jerry said.
She sighed and stood. Jerry quickly got to his feet and walked toward her. She inhaled a sharp breath as his cologne drifted into her nostrils. It was his signature scent for as long as she’d known him.
“Do you still like it?” Jerry whispered.
She gulped and dragged her eyes up to his. Her knees weakened as he trapped her in his gaze. “N-no. ”
Jerry chuckled, taking a step closer to her. Cassedi stepped backward, and he grabbed her waist to pull her closer. She knew she should’ve yanked free while yelling that he should never touch her again, but she didn’t have the willpower.
“You know you can never lie to me, Cassedi.”
“Stop,” she demanded, her voice not near as strong as she expected it to be.
“Do you really want that?” Jerry asked, and she looked away. “Look at me, Cass.”
She dragged her eyes back to his, hating how that icy stare still made her weak. What happened to all the hate she convinced herself she felt over the years? This man must have cast a spell on her that refused to be broken.
Jerry’s face inched closer as he whispered, “Tell me to let you go, and I will.”
Her breaths shortened. Her eyes flickered to his lips, then eyes. “Don’t let me go,” Cassedi breathed.
Jerry closed the distance to kiss her hard. Like a man starved.
Cassedi’s entire body tingled. She was an old spark reignited into a flame by her estranged husband.
Jerry lifted her into his hold, and Cassedi locked her legs around his waist. He pulled away to kiss her neck. “Where is your bedroom?”
“First door.”
He took brisk steps into the bedroom. He gently laid her on the bed and kissed her neck while his hands roamed her body.
Cassedi’s breathy moans filled the air. “We can’t do this again—”
Jerry silenced her with a kiss. “Tell me how you feel tomorrow.”
Her eyes fluttered open. The sunlight streaming through the window almost blinded her. Turning away from the window, Cassedi’s eyes widened at how messy the other side of the bed was.
She jolted up, and the duvet fell, exposing her naked chest while memories rushed to her. “Did I—” She yanked the duvet away, seeing the dried matter between her legs. She covered her eyes with her hands and began to recite the Lord’s prayer.
The door opened, and she stopped mid-prayer to peek open an eye. Jerry entered the room holding a tray. He was happy and energetic, just like last night.
Cassedi held the duvet against her body. She couldn’t bear to watch as he approached her.
Not after what happened last night.
He stopped inches away from the bed. “Good morning, Cass.”
She avoided his gaze. “Last night was a mistake.”
He took a moment to reply, “It was not.”
Anger flared in her eyes as she looked at him. “It was.”
“What was a mistake?” Jerry placed the tray on the bedside table before sitting beside her. He laid a hand on her thigh as she tried scooting away. “Us having sex or you liking it?”
Heat rushed to her cheeks. She pried his hand off her body.
Jerry stood, and she forced herself to look at him. “I will be in the living room when you are ready to talk.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek before leaving.
Cassedi got out of bed and hurried to the bathroom, angrily rubbing at her skin and doing her best to wash away all traces of last night. She ran back into the room and grudgingly ate the breakfast he made — nutmeg tea, and a fried plantain with eggs sandwich.
Jerry still wasn’t a perfect cook, but it was the thought behind it.
She ate it all, not even surprised. She needed all the energy she could get after last night.
It’d been a long, long while…
And he still had stamina.
She didn’t even know that men could come that much in one go. Had it been a while for him, too?
As curious as she was, she didn’t want to cloud her mind with any other thoughts. He said he came to talk, so she would listen.
Cassedi took the tray to the kitchen after she finished eating. She placed it in the sink to wash later. She returned to the living room and sat on the sofa furthest from him .
Jerry rested his ankle atop his other foot’s knee. “I know you still have questions that I did not get to answer over the phone, so ask them. I will be completely honest.”
Cassedi recalled how much Jerry apologized and begged for her forgiveness. How he cried and made her laugh. How he pleaded to let her see him…
She cleared her throat, about to answer when her phone rang and the door knocked. “Give me a second,” she said, and Jerry nodded. Standing, she took her phone out of her pocket while approaching the door. Cassedi answered the video call. “Give me a second, Taeja,” she said, and Taeja hummed. She opened the door by a fraction, revealing Wayne with a sleeping ZsaZsa in his arms.
Wayne raised a brow. “Yu forget that yaa keep ZsaZsa, Aunty?”
Cassedi shook her head and opened the door wider. Wayne entered the house. Raising his brow at Jerry while muttering a greeting, Wayne walked toward the guest room. Cassedi followed them into the room and closed the door.
Wayne placed ZsaZsa on the bed while whispering, “Aunty, a which ugly man dat ina yu house?”
Cassedi glared. “Wayne, doh mek mi lose mi faith this morning,” she hissed, and Taeja laughed.
Wayne glanced at the phone. “A Taeja dat?”
“Alie to you,” Taeja joked.
Wayne snickered. “Yu good, mi cousin?”
“I’m great,” Taeja replied. “Leff Cassedi house and stop trouble mi father.”
Wayne scowled. “Aunty, yu know seh yu pickney nav no manners? Mi cya expect any better from foreign people still.”
“Wa me do now, Wayne?”
“Yu cya seh Mommae and Daddae ?” he asked, faking an accent.
Taeja laughed. “We don’t speak like that in America.”
Wayne hissed his teeth. “Wul a unu a the same thing to me.”
Cassedi scoffed and pushed Wayne toward the front door. Cassedi glared as he stepped onto the veranda. Lowering her voice, she added, “Nuh go tell yu mother that my husband is here. Mi cya badda with more problems right now.”
“Husband? Eeh? My silence has a price, Aunty.”
Cassedi huffed before going to her room and returning. She slapped a fifty-dollar bill in his open palm.
Wayne held the foreign note toward the light, then smiled before pocketing it. “Always a pleasure. Later, Aunty.” He skipped toward his minibus.
Cassedi rolled her eyes and closed the door. Returning to her seat, she did her best to ignore Jerry’s attention while she said to their daughter, “Sorry about that, baby girl. Good morning.”
“Good morning!” Taeja replied. “Was just checking on you.”
Her eyes flickered to Jerry. He was still looking at her, so she glanced away. “I-I’m fine,” Cassedi stuttered, wishing she could get her body under control.
“You sure? Yu sound a way.”
“I’m good, baby girl. I’ll call you later.”
“Mek sure Jerry nuh seh nun to yu. If him upset yu, tell me so me can—”
Cassedi sighed along with Jerry. “Behave yourself, Taeja,” she hissed. “Goodbye.”
“G—” Taeja paused. “Damon seh yufi call him later.”
Cassedi smiled and nodded. “I will,” she promised, and Taeja hung up.
Resting her phone beside her, Cassedi looked at Jerry. “Were you that much of an awful father to her that she hates you this much?” she asked, a weight laying on her when his eyes dimmed. “ Wow .”
“I am trying to right my wrongs…” Jerry whispered.
“Whatever you say.”
“Please do not treat me this way, Cassedi… Just talk to me. Go ahead. Ask me what you want to know.”
“Were you being honest when you said you cut off Teddy?”
He nodded. “Yes, Cass.”
She shook her head. “ Cassedi . Call me by my name.”
He sighed. “Sorry, Cassedi. Yes. I cut off my mother.”
“I find it hard to believe.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve told you about her for years, J… Jerry, and you shrugged me off. You saw how she treated our daughter, and you always believed when she said she’s just helping to raise our baby girl. It was bad enough that I had to leave her with Teddy, but how could you become exactly like your mother? Taeja didn’t deserve that.”
He hung his head low. “I thought I was doing the right thing. You have to understand that since I was little, no one wanted me, but my mother always stood by my side. Especially when Jerald denied me.”
“What does that have to do with our daughter’s upbringing?”
“I wanted her to be up to a certain standard so no one could treat her how Jerald did me and the woman who conceived his first son.”
She pursed her lips, knowing his father had always been a touchy subject for him. “What about me?” she asked after a moment of silence. “I’m your wife and the mother of your child. You know all that you and your mother went through. Why would you do the same to me and Taeja? People either learn from their past or they become their past, and look how you turned out… Did we not mean anything to you?”
“You both mean the world to me, Cassedi,” he stated firmly. “My judgment was skewed while I thought I was doing the best thing for everyone. I really am sorry, Cass,” he said, and she hated how genuine he sounded. It broke down her barrier more than he did last night. Especially when he called her by her nickname. “If I could take it all back, I would.”
“You can’t.”
“That is why I will work for your forgiveness.” He sat beside her. “I know I don’t deserve yours and Taeja’s forgiveness, but you are my family. You are all I have, and I love you both.”
Cassedi’s heart paced. “You love me?”
Jerry nodded. “I never stopped, Cassedi. Even when I thought you ran away with Romar. And I know you still love me. I can feel it.”
“Not because two people are in love means they should be together.”
“I know, but I want to remind you why we were together in the first place.”
She sighed, looking away from him. He hooked his finger beneath her chin, making her skin tingle and her breathing quicken as she met his eyes.
“Give me another chance. Please . ”
“Not if things are going to be like they were with Teddy. If I give you another chance, I want us . I want the person I met in college who made me smile and laugh every other second. I don’t want to walk on eggshells around you again. I found some peace here, and I can’t go back to that.”
“I will be a better man for both of you. Just say yes, Cass…” he pleaded. His eyes shone with unshed tears.
Cassedi sighed, using her last bit of willpower to give Jerry an answer.