Chapter 12
Reid
The line wrapped around the front of the building and down the street is a sight I haven’t seen in a long, long time. A familiar buzz warms my skin and causes my heart to jump up into my throat in anticipation. But it’s not for me.
Not anymore.
This is all for Nikolai and his album release party tonight.
He arranged drivers for each of us, and mine dropped me around the back as requested.
Not sure if that was from Nikolai, Arun, and the label, in a way to keep the attention on Nik tonight, but either way I’m grateful for it.
I slip in the back where security already knows who I am and waves me past. I run a hand through my hair and tuck part of it behind my ear.
Should probably get a haircut soon. My sides have grown out long enough to tickle my ears.
The venue is packed with people, fans and industry people alike. Although there’s a bit of separation with ropes and extra security that keep too much mingling between the two from happening.
Neon signs cover the walls and all the lighting has been swapped out for colorful bulbs, decorating the room in an ambience of color. It screams Nikolai, and I wonder if he had more creative control in Whisper Me Nothings if our album visions would’ve looked like this.
I make my way to the bar and get a drink before turning around and surveying the crowd. The people on this side, folks in the industry, give me a wide berth, even as they come over to the bar.
Producers that we used to work with give me tight smiles and small waves before ducking back over to their original crowds.
The label executives that we used to work with barely even glance my way.
I know we pissed them off when we refused to make the last album we were contracted for, but that was a long time ago.
The only familiar face that notices me and strides over with a friendly smile is Arun.
He’s dressed in one of his usual navy-blue suits with an expensive watch on his left wrist. His brown skin shines with a healthy glow, like he just got back from vacation.
A glass of his favorite scotch is in his clutches, and the smell of it wafts over me as he comes to stand by my side.
“How’ve you been? You haven’t returned any of my calls.” Arun takes a deep sip of the amber-colored liquid. “Did you lose my number?”
I don’t look at him as I answer, “No. Just didn’t know we had anything to talk about anymore.”
He sighs deeply and I don’t want to hear it. Don’t need another lecture from him. “Reid, you’re choosing to be difficult here. I’m still your manager, if you want me to be.”
“Why would I need a manager anymore?”
“If you want to do any projects again,” he says and gestures toward Nikolai. “Like this, or in other ways.”
“I’m not going to do a solo album,” I laugh and take a sip of my own drink. The ice is cool against my lips and I like the bite of it.
“Fine, then. Maybe not as your manager, but as your friend,” he offers.
“Friend,” I mutter. “Why the hell would you want to be friends with a washed-up client?”
He turns to face me and narrows his eyes critically. “A washed-up client? Is that truly what you think of yourself?”
I motion to everyone around, most of which haven’t even tried once to engage me with since I got here.
Like I’m nothing without my brothers, my band.
Now that I’m on my own and Nikolai has stepped out without the three of us, I’m nothing.
“Do you see anyone else here trying to talk to me? To network with me?”
“Well I certainly don’t see you trying to do it with them either.”
I shake my head. “Whatever. What’s done is done.” My teeth clench so hard they’re on the verge of cracking. He doesn’t get it. There’s no going back. And the guys have all moved on with their lives for the better. And then there’s me.
Arun studies me silently. I feel his stare as I look around the room in the crowd that I don’t belong to anymore. Never really did.
He tosses back the last of his drink and sets it on the bar with a pointed thunk. His voice is chilled when he speaks. “You were never just a client, Reid. None of you were to me.” He tucks a hand in his pocket and walks off, leaving me alone in the corner.
There’s a break in people hounding Nikolai, so I go over and chat with him for a few minutes until Aspen starts blowing up my phone. I step away to check it.
Penny: I know you’re busy tonight but I need to talk to you
Penny: Can you call me when you get a chance please?
Penny: It’s urgent
Worry knots my throat. She isn’t working tonight so she shouldn’t need a ride, but what if she went out anyways?
Me: Everything okay?
Penny: My student loans are gone
Penny: They were paid in a lump sum apparently?
Penny: Do you know anything about this??
Penny: You’re the only person besides my roommates who knows how much I had
Penny: You better not have Reid I swear…
Penny: Hello????
That’s what she’s worried about? I don’t have time for this right now.
Me: I took care of them. We’ll talk about it later.
I tuck my phone away, which immediately starts buzzing again, but I ignore it.
And when Hayden’s laugh echoes from a table to my left, I wish I could ignore that too.
Surrounding it, chatting away and smiling, are Hayden, his fiancée Carter, Nikolai, Jane, and Nikolai’s little brother, Milo.
Walker and Scar are noticeably absent. I glance around the room frowning.
There’s no way Walker would miss this for Nik.
But I come up empty. They’re nowhere to be seen.
Everyone’s smiles are bright and energy high as they engage with one another, drinking and eating the appetizers passed around. I fist my drink and shift, not knowing where to go.
It’s such an odd feeling to be in a room full of people and yet feel so utterly alone.
Nikolai catches my eye and beckons me over. I take a step but hesitate, eyeing up the rest of the table. But he angles his head in a way that says, c’mon man, and I walk over.
The chatter dies down the moment I approach, like I brought some sort of black cloud with me, and I scratch the back of my neck.
But surprisingly enough, Hayden is the first one to speak. “We were, uh, just talking about the wedding.”
I glance down at the elegant, artistic ring on Carter’s finger. A pang of something hits my gut, but I force a smile on my face and say, “Congratulations. I’m happy for you guys.”
It’s not a lie, but it feels wrong.
I should’ve been in the know. Helped him pick out the ring if he would’ve asked, talked about the proposal plan until he got it right.
But instead, I found out through Nikolai months ago.
“Thank you,” Carter says.
“Do you have a date set?” Jane asks them.
Carter nods and glances up at Hayden. “We think so, but we’re just waiting to hear from our families that it works for them before we get official save the dates out there.”
“I’ll have my people send you my touring schedule so there’s no conflicts.” Nikolai winks.
Hayden chuckles. “Yeah, you have your people do that. We’ll make sure our wedding doesn’t conflict with a little concert of yours.”
Nikolai holds out a hand for Hayden to shake. “Much appreciated, man.” Hayden bats it away with a sly smile.
Arun approaches the table and slaps a hand on Nikolai’s shoulder. “We’re ready for you.” He then pulls him away to get ready to perform. We wish him good luck and the moment he’s removed from the table, an awkward silence descends.
My phone continues to buzz in my pocket, so I finally fish it back out to see Aspen trying to call me again.
“Fucking hell,” I mutter and weave my way through the crowd toward the exit. Slipping outside, I answer the phone. “What?”
“You paid off my student loans?!” Aspen screeches in my ear, and I wince, pulling the phone away.
Thunder booms in the distance like a bad omen, and I rub the spot between my brows. Tonight has already been a lot and I’m not particularly in the mood for this conversation.
“I did what I had intended to do years ago but was robbed of the chance.” I sigh and lean against the brick wall of the alcove. “I believe the words you’re looking for are thank you.”
A pause and I can almost hear Aspen’s gears churning. Amusement makes me smile despite the social exhaustion this evening has already brought on.
“‘Thank you’?” she sputters. “I didn’t ask you to do that! In fact, I distinctly remember you offering and me telling you no, that I didn’t want your money. Do you recall that?”
“Yes, I do recall that.”
“Then why the hell did you pay them off anyways?”
“Because I wanted to.”
“Oh my god, how did you even do that? You don’t know my login. My passwords. Wait—did you hack me or something?”
I can’t stop the laugh that comes out, and Aspen practically growls on the other end of the phone. “Oh, this is just so funny to you, huh?”
“Sort of,” I say. “No, I didn’t hack you.” Just found out your loan provider, made a few calls, and got things taken care of. Money can get you a lot of things. “Look, you only took the job you have now because you needed to pay your bills, not because you love it. Right?”
“Yeah,” she hedges. “So?”
“So, this gives you some flexibility to figure out what you want to do, and you can do it knowing that you don’t have thousands of dollars hanging over your head. I always wanted to take care of that for you and it’s done.”
“You can’t—”
“I can, and I did. Accept it, Penny.” My tone brokers no arguments, but I’m sure she’s still trying to come up with another one anyway.
After she told me about her friends trying to get her to work for them and her refusal, I knew it must go deeper than her not wanting to accept their help.
She’s scared. After a lifetime of inconsistency, she’s found it at her job.
It’s not her dream, but it’s comfortable for her. It’s what she knows.
And she knows her bills will be paid and can keep chipping away at her debt.
Debt that I never wanted her to worry about to begin with.