Chapter 41
Reid
Aspen seems lighter the last couple of weeks. I catch her singing around the house, her voice filling the space with her soft, sultry tone. She’s been bringing more of her things over little by little. An extra toothbrush, a few changes of clothes, her favorite shampoo and conditioner.
With the issue of Macaroni solved, and by issue, I mean he gets to stay at my place when she does, there aren’t many nights we spend apart. Even with us both being busier.
Aspen’s been loving her new job at the shelter, while still remaining at On Tap. I’d love for her to be able to quit there one day, but she likes the independence her jobs give her.
I’ve been over at Hayden or Nikolai’s every day pretty much, the four of us working on music together.
Arun’s plan seemed to have worked, even though we haven’t made any promises to return just yet.
We’re still figuring out our new dynamics and putting our relationships first before we sign another record deal.
I’m fresh off of a studio session with the guys as I drive through the city to the shelter. Aspen should be done any minute, but when I pull up out front, she texts me to come inside.
An older woman greets me when I walk in, and when I tell her who I am, she points me back down a hallway. As I round the corner, my favorite shade of red comes into view.
Penny is hunched over with a handful of treats. Two huge cats meow in front of her, pressed up against the walls of their little cubicles.
“It doesn’t look like they need any more treats,” I say.
Penny jumps at the sound of my voice, shooting a glare over her shoulder. “Don’t fat shame them! This is their favorite part of the day.”
“Clearly.” The white one with black spots rubs Penny’s hand, sucking up for more. She practically melts into a puddle and gives it another one.
They have her wrapped around their little paws.
“I’ll be done in a few minutes. I just have a couple more litter boxes to change out.”
“No rush.” A small meow catches my ear, and I look to my right to see a pair of yellow eyes blinking at me from the top cubby.
I step closer. The black cat meows again, not taking its eyes off of me. Something about the look in them pulls me in. I glance at the small laminated piece of paper hanging by the door to the cage.
Midnight.
Five years old, male, domestic shorthair, black. Bonded pair with Boo Bear.
It’s then that I notice a second cat in with Midnight. That one’s a mix of browns and whites, with a snappy tail and pink nose.
He tracks my every move, but doesn’t get up from his spot curled up on a blanket. Midnight however, brushes up against the slits of the cage. He meows again, like he’s trying to tell me something I’ll never understand.
Hesitantly, I put my hand up the bars. He pauses, whiskers twitching as he sniffs my hand. I wait for him to try to bite me or swipe at me like Macaroni. But instead of doing what the little orange bastard does, this one brushes his body against my fingertips.
His fur is silky. So dark, it absorbs all the light in the room. The next time he walks past, I wiggle my fingers as best as I can, trying to pet him better.
“Do you want me to take him out?”
It’s Penny’s turn to startle me. I rear back from the cage, face hot like I got caught doing something I’m not supposed to. “No, that’s okay.”
“Are you sure?”
Midnight meows at me, waiting for me to pet him again.
“No—”
My refusal is cut off as Penny unlatches the door. She swings it open and scoops up the black cat. He’s much smaller than Macaroni, but then again, this one is probably just what a normal-sized cat is supposed to be like.
“Here, try holding him.” She extends the cat toward me, all sharp claws and yellow eyes.
“I really don’t know…” But my protest dies as she places him in my arms.
“Here, hold him like this.” She helps position him and I wait for the scratch of his claws.
But it never comes.
The cat presses into my chest. His purr thrums through his entire body, feeling like a small engine in my arms. He’s completely relaxed, totally content to just be held. Once I’m confident he’s not going to turn around and scratch me, I begin to relax too.
Penny watches me with a knowing look.
“What?”
“I think Midnight’s chosen you.”
“What do you mean?”
“It means, I think you’re adopting a cat.”
I do not adopt the cat.
But as we leave, I find myself looking back toward the room where he and his bonded pair live, and think about those yellow eyes of his.
I do not need to adopt a cat.
Penny says something to her manager that I can’t catch before we walk out. When we get to the car, I ask, “What did you whisper to her just now?”
She grins. “I told her we’d be back tomorrow for a formal visit between you and Midnight. Well, and Boo Bear too, since they come as a duo. You’ll have to adopt both.”
“I’m not adopting a cat!”
“We’ll see about that. Now, give me your keys. I’m driving.”
I give her a strange look. “You wanna drive us home?”
She flexes her hand, demanding the keys. I finally toss them to her. “I want to go somewhere first.”
“What are you up to?”
“You’ll see.”
She drives us to the overpass looking over the beach. The same spot we came to all those months ago. We get out and sit on the same rocks, side by side, facing the ocean.
It’s chilly out, for LA at least, which means the sand below is free from any sunbathers and swimmers. A few brave surfers paddle around on the small waves, looking like small dots in the distance.
Penny pulls her jean jacket tight against her chest, and I wrap my arm around her, wishing I had a blanket in the car. “You sure you wanna sit out here?”
She has a dreamy look on her face as she watches the waves roll in. “It’s worth it being cold for a little bit. I feel like we haven’t gotten a chance to just relax lately. We need this.”
“Fair enough.” We sit in comfortable silence, listening to the ocean and watching as the sun starts to fall.
Finally, Aspen says, “What do you think Gina and Patrick would have to say if they saw us now?”
I freeze at the mention of our foster parents. “I don’t know. Maybe we should go pay them a visit.”
Her eyes grow big, until she realizes I’m kidding. We both laugh and turn back toward the water.
“I don’t really give a fuck what they’d say. They probably don’t even remember us, honestly.”
“You don’t think so?”
I shrug. I guess I never really cared enough to think about it.
Aspen lays her head on my shoulder. “Since I talked to Linda, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.
I’ve been wondering, if you’d ever want to, I just wanted to let you know that I’d go with you.
” She picks at the seam on her jeans. “If you’d ever want to go back and visit your Mother’s grave again, I mean. ”
Her offer doesn’t take me by surprise, but the fact that she’s thought about it has.
“I don’t really…I appreciate that. I really do.
But I don’t care to ever go and see it again.
Her, my father, Gina, Patrick…they’re all in the past.” I’ve spent so long burying it all down, running from it, and I’m finally ready to let it all go.
To move on. “I don’t want to give the past any more power over me, or us.
” I cup her jaw, moving her head so I can look into her eyes as I say, “Not when I have a future I’m finally excited for. ”
The blue in her eyes is more mesmerizing than the blue of the ocean beyond. This is one I want to sink into and live in forever.
“Penny, you…you make me want to remember everything. Remember it all. The good days and the shitty ones too, because if it hadn’t been for any of those days where I didn’t even want to keep going, I wouldn’t have met you.
And for the same fucked up reason, I’m grateful for your dark days and everyone that let you down, because it brought you to me. ”
Tears threaten to spill over onto her cheeks and I ready my hand to brush them away.
“It might make me selfish,” I continue. “Fuck, it definitely does because why would I be grateful for any hurt you’ve felt in this life?
But I am, because it’s you and me. When everything fell apart in our lives, it was you and me.
And now all these years later, it’s you and me again.
I’m so sorry I ever tried to forget it all.
Forget you. You were never a painful memory or something I wanted to forget. ”
Her face blurs and I blink away tears of my own. They sting, the feeling unfamiliar and uncomfortable, but I push on, needing to tell her. Needing her to know everything I’m feeling.
“You are my rock. My patience. My fucking everything. And I never want to live another day without you by my side. I love you, Aspen Andersen. And I want you to marry me.” I didn’t plan on doing this here, now, but I need to say it more than I need another breath.
Sobs wrack through her entire body, mirroring the shaking of my own.
“I don’t have a ring right now, and I’m sorry. I’ll get the best fucking ring you could ever dream, but I needed to tell you now.” Couldn’t waste another minute without it. “Marry me…please.”
“That’s not a question.” She smiles through her tears. “You need to ask if I’ll marry you.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I’m telling you to marry me.”
“Stubborn asshole,” she laughs, the sound sweeter than anything I’ll ever deserve.
“And yours forever, if you’ll be mine. Even though you already are.”
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
She presses her forehead to mine, whispering against my mouth. “It’s you and me.”
I kiss her with every ounce of love I’ll ever have to give. “You and me.”
“You know I love the beach, but right now, I just want to go home with you.”
Home.
She’s talking about my house, our house that we’ll share.
But I’m already home.
It was never a place. Never four walls and a roof like I always thought.
It’s sitting right beside me.
My lucky penny.