Chapter Five
Astrid
He was right.
As I shift uncomfortably in my seat, I realize that maybe I should have listened to Erik when he warned me multiple times last night that I would be sore this morning if I didn’t stop riding him like a woman looking to make up for all those years she went without sex.
For two nights now, we’ve had sex like rabbits, completely insatiable.
I guess I wasn’t the only one starved.
Still, I should have gone easy on myself. And maybe on him, but he looks fresh as a daisy, and I bet he’s not nearly as sore as me. I wiggle uncomfortably on the padded seat and curse myself for not taking things easy.
Christ, what was I thinking?
“Are you alright?”
Of course, he notices, and the cruel man can’t just ignore it and save me the embarrassment.
It seems I’ve been having a lot of embarrassing moments lately.
The tears after that first time were unexpected, and a part of me had been certain I could keep it casual—that I could have sex with a stranger and not let it matter.
But it does.
It was more than just my body that found pleasure in his touch. I was not prepared for the overload of emotions that consumed me or the confusion that has followed. The heart I thought was well guarded has opened itself to a man I have no business having feelings for.
“Astrid?”
I look up when he touches my hand, my stomach fluttering when his thumb rubs my wrist with an intimacy I never thought possible.
A part of my brain yells for me to stop this.
There is nowhere this relationship can go.
Tomorrow, I’ll be gone from the island. My project will take me further south and along the coast of California, and he… well, he’s the island keeper, isn’t he?
He’s bound to this place.
“I’m fine,” I lie.
“I should have taken it easy on you last night and this morning.”
“God!” I tug my hand away from his hold to cover my face when I start to burn up with embarrassment. "Why do you do that?"
“Do what?”
I spread my fingers to peek at him through the opening, and the smirk on his face tells me he knows exactly what I’m talking about. “You get a kick out of saying things that’ll embarrass me.”
“You blush so easily,” he says with a laugh. “How can I resist?”
I pull my hands down from my face and turn back to the water, “You’re also trying to distract me from the fact that today’s my last day and I still haven’t seen Moon.”
“You will.”
There is such certainty in his voice that I believe him. Still, a part of me can’t help dwelling on the fact that Moon has yet to make an appearance. “I just wish he would show up.”
“Tell me about your family.”
“Huh?” I pull my eyes away from the blue of the ocean to the depths of his. “My family?”
“Yes, do you have any siblings?”
“Uh, no. I’m an only child. My parents had me in their mid-forties, and we’ve never really been close.”
“How come?”
“Well…I…” I pause when I realize that he’s trying to distract me from having to think about Moon, so I indulge him.
“We just have nothing in common, I guess. They are both doctors, retired now, and here is their only child, who has zero interest in medicine. I've been obsessed with marine animals since I was six, when I took a field trip to the aquarium. They’re not bad parents,” I quickly add, feeling the need to defend them.
“They support my dreams, but they don’t really understand them. ”
“Sounds like most parents.”
“Did yours support you when you became an island keeper?”
My question makes him laugh for some reason, but it’s not the kind of laugh that comes from humor. “They died when I was twenty-one, way before I ever entertained the thought of living on an island.”
“Oh, you weren’t always into…this?” I ask, waving my arms around.
“Occasionally, I surfed and even went deep-sea diving with my adrenaline junkie of a brother, but for the most part, I was all corporate.”
I don’t know what’s more surprising. The idea of this man, with his bulging muscles and striking Viking looks, working in an office, or the fact that he’s talking about his brother for the first time. “I don’t believe for one second that you’ve worked in an office before.”
“I was a financier in San Francisco for nearly all of my twenties. It’s hard to picture, isn’t it?
” he asks with a laugh when my jaw drops.
“But it’s true. I was the calm and steady brother.
Derrick, that's my older brother, was the more daring one. When he died in a motorcycle accident eight years ago, I shed that corporate city life and moved here.”
I reach out and take his hand, wanting to soothe him from those memories. “I’m sorry about your parents and your brother. I can't imagine what it’s like to lose someone so special.”
Erik doesn’t speak for a long time, and for a moment, I’m afraid that I may have overstepped, but then he takes my hand and brings it to his lips. “God, you’re so…” His words trail off, and something must grab his attention from over my shoulder because his brows furrow.
“What?” I ask, confused.
“What did you say Moon looked like again?”
My head whips around just in time to see that glorious tail break the water, revealing the half-circle mark on his fin that looks like a crescent moon. I scream, letting go of Erik as I brace my hand on the railing and lean closer.
“It’s Moon,” I say as tears flood my eyes.
The shark circling the bait line is my baby.
I blindly reach out for my tagging pole, afraid to look away in case Moon disappears, but Erik is already there, passing it to me.
My heart is in my throat as I do the very thing I've done all week, except now, my hands are shaking.
“Relax, baby,” a voice soothes from behind, and I allow myself to lean into him for a moment. “You’ve got this.”
“Okay.” I take a deep breath, breathing in the cool, salty air before taking aim. The hands rubbing my back soothe me some, and when I take the shot, I’m afraid I’m going to miss, but it lands perfectly on the fin, just under the crescent moon. “I did it!”
“So, you did!”
I’m delirious with joy as I drop the pole and spin around, tossing my arms over his shoulders as I move to kiss his lips. “I love you,” I say giddily, peppering his lips, jaw, and nose with kisses. “Oh God, I love you so much!”
It doesn’t occur to me, not with the roaring in my head, what I just said, and when Erik goes still in my arms, I frown. Then slowly, the adrenaline drops, and everything bleeds into painful focus.
Along with my thoughts and the words I was never meant to speak out loud. His expression is carefully blank when I peel myself away to look at his face. Despite myself, I glance up at him hopefully, waiting for something…anything.
But I get nothing.
And I realize, with a sinking feeling in my stomach, that I am alone in these feelings.