3. Jane
3
JANE
Nikolai: I have my solo contract and I’d like you to look over it for me
Me: Surely Arun has lawyers who can do that for you
Nikolai: But I don’t trust any of them like I do you
I wish those words didn’t penetrate the armor I wear when dealing with Nikolai, but they do. It’s been almost ten years since everything fell apart between us and we’ve managed to build a sense of friendship back up.
It was necessary, considering no one else ever knew we were together in the first place.
But within that friendship, I’ve had to set up boundaries around my heart and keep my heart in check with my head when it comes to Nikolai.
Me: Fine. Send it to my email and I can have it back to you by the end of this weekend
Thank god this week is almost over.
Nikolai doesn’t respond, so I set my phone aside and get back to checking over my emails. A new contract proposal pops through for one of my clients, a new model fresh off a reality TV show, and I immediately open it to start combing over what I’m sure are going to be some insane terms that the agency slipped in there.
I get absorbed in the fine print and it isn’t until I feel a tap on my shoulder from Hallie that I realize the sun is getting low in the sky.
“You can finish that up tomorrow. Let’s go,” she says, already having her work bag slung over her shoulder and heels back on.
My back pops as I stretch, not having realized I haven’t moved in hours. “Damn, didn’t realize it was already that time.”
I quickly pack up my bag and walk with Hallie to the elevators. Checking my phone, I see Nikolai had responded over an hour ago.
Nikolai: screenshot
Nikolai: I’d prefer if we could go over it in person
My mouth gapes open at the screenshot he sent. It’s a plane ticket in my name for tomorrow afternoon.
“What?” Hallie asks, peering over my shoulder.
I type furiously as the elevator doors open and we step on.
Me: You can’t just do that
Nikolai: But I did ;)
Me: I have plans this weekend. Ones that don’t include flying across the country for a simple contract
Nikolai: You’ve never been a good liar LJ, so don’t start now
I narrow my eyes at the nickname. I hated it growing up. Even though my brother has always gone by our last name and not James, I was still dubbed LJ, short for Little J, by Nikolai in high school.
Yes, Walker was technically a few minutes older, but there’s nothing ‘little’ about me.
Me: Is this all because I wouldn’t answer your phone call? Because I can call you to go over it when I get home tonight
Nikolai: Nope. That offer has expired. Accept the plane ticket, Jane
Nikolai: Get out of Boston for a bit
The elevator arrives at the bottom floor and Hallie and I step out into the busy streets.
“Sorry, it’s Nikolai. He has a contract he wants me to look over and instead of sending it to me like a normal person, he wants me to fly out there this weekend,” I tell her, shoving my phone in my bag.
We start walking, our apartments only a few blocks away from each other.
“Hell yeah,” she says. “You should take him up on it.”
“Seriously?”
“Why not? It’s a free trip to LA for the weekend. Do the contract, visit your brother, and most importantly, enjoy some time away from here. You deserve it.”
I do. And I would love some time away. I used to love this city. It felt like home. But over the last year or so, it’s started to feel empty. Like something doesn’t fit anymore, or maybe, I don’t fit in it anymore.
And unlike how work used to be my haven, even that has grown wearing over time.
“I guess…” I say, enjoying the early summer breeze that sifts through my hair as we walk.
“It’s not like you have to sleep with him. Although if you do, you have my full support,” she teases, bumping her shoulder in mine.
“Hallie!”
She laughs, the sound getting carried away in the wind. “You know I’d never do that.”
Alright, so when I said no one knows about my relationship with Nikolai, Hallie is the exception. It took years of friendship and trust for me to open up to her about it since he’s a public figure. But one drunken night when photos of him out at a club with yet another woman circulated, I broke down.
“I know, I’m just messing with you,” she says, pulling up short at a crosswalk. “But I think you should take him up on it. You better have a suitcase packed and ready to go at the office tomorrow, alright?”
The signal changes, and she starts across, eyeing me as she goes.
“We’ll see,” I say, waving her off as I head to the left toward my own building.
But as I walk the last few blocks alone with nothing but my thoughts, I know what she’s saying is true. It would be good to get out of the city for the weekend, and I haven’t seen Walker since Labor Day last year.
Haven’t seen Nikolai since then either.
It would be good to do so, and his words from earlier echo.
I don’t trust them like I do you.
I wish I could say the same thing to him, but I can’t. Hard as I’ve tried over the years to rebuild that just like we have our friendship, I can’t say that I trust Nikolai Brooks like I wish I could.
But if he’s reaching out for help, I don’t want to reject him.
Fetching my keys from my bag as I arrive at my building, I pull my phone out alongside it and shoot him a text before I allow myself to back out.
Me: Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.