9 Years Ago
9 YEARS AGO
NIKOLAI
“Y-you w-what?” Jane stutters, her emerald eyes rounding to saucers.
LJ at a loss for words; I never thought I’d see the day.
“I could help you out with that ‘problem’ as you called it?”
Her face is bright red and it’s not just because of the shitty mixed drink she’s been sipping down. “We shouldn’t even be discussing this.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Of course.”
“Are you comfortable with me?”
“That’s not the problem.”
“Then what is the problem?”
She stares at me in disbelief. “You must be drunker than I thought.”
Am I drunk? Yes.
But I don’t think the expensive vodka I took from my mom’s stash has anything to do with the possessiveness pumping through my veins at the idea of Jane trying to find a random guy tonight to sleep with.
She doesn’t make rash decisions like this. What is she thinking? She could get hurt.
“Tell you what,” I say, leaning a shoulder against the wall and crossing my ankles. Bad move. I stumble to the side and have to catch my balance.
Maybe she’s right and I’m drunker than I thought.
Jane grabs my arm, her pink, glittery nails a stark pop of color against my skin. She raises her brows until I steady myself. Once I do, she takes her hand back, and I miss the warmth.
Since when have I wanted Jane’s hands on me? She’s my best friend. My best friend’s sister.
“Look,” she says, brushing her hair over her shoulder and it sways in a heavy curtain down her back. “We can forget this whole conversation even happened, alright? I didn’t exactly want you or any of the guys knowing about it, and I’d prefer if we could just go back to that.”
“But friends share things with each other,” I pout.
“Yes, but not talking about losing their virginity!”
“Wrong. I know when all of my friends have. Hayden did last year, and do you remember that girl that came here from private school for a semester sophomore year? Walker got?—”
“Nope,” she interrupts. “I don’t need to hear that about my brother.”
Oh yeah, that’d be weird. I laugh, and Jane rolls her eyes.
“Why do you want to rush it? Don’t you want to wait for the right person or some shit?”
She scoffs. “Because I’m a girl?”
“No?”
“Did you wait for the right person?”
I bite the inside of my cheek and scan the room, avoiding her blazing stare.
“Exactly.”
“I don’t know, LJ. It just doesn’t sound like something you’d do. Is it really that big of a deal?”
Lots of people go to college without any experience. I wouldn’t be one of them, but then again, I’m not going to college either.
Her shoulders slump, causing her jacket to fall closed, and I don’t miss the way she pulls it even tighter.
“You wouldn’t get it. Guys don’t look at me like that. They never have and it feels like they never will.”
“I do.”
“No,” she sighs, looking exhausted. “You don’t.”
“You’re beautiful, Jane.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I’ve never lied to you.” I push off the wall and crowd her against it until her back presses into the corner and she has no way out.
“Nikolai,” she says, looking over my shoulder. “Back off. People are watching.”
“Let them.”
“Walker—”
The reminder of him should have me stepping back, but the need to have my words sink into Jane’s thick head overrides everything else. Does she really think so little of herself? Where did that confidence go when I first met her a couple years ago?
“Why don’t you see what I see?” I ask, the words coming out in a soft brush against her cheek.
She clenches her teeth and darts her eyes to our feet.
“Nikolai, stop. Please,” she says.
I grab her chin and tilt her head up. Our gazes collide and while she might be telling me to stop, there’s a spark behind her eye that I didn’t realize has dulled lately.
Have I been missing something? Have I not been seeing something that’s right in my face?
Someone who is right in front of my face?
Alarms blare in the back of my head as I continue to hold her chin, slightly scraping my thumb across her jaw. I shouldn’t be touching her like this.
This is Jane.
But also…this is Jane . And it feels right to touch her like this.
I shouldn’t be offering this to her. I’m drunk. She’s drunk.
And yet…
“Tell you what. My offer stands. We’re both drinking, and clearly”—I look inside my cup and realize somewhere along the way, I emptied it to the last drops—“Shit.”
“What?”
“Right, sorry.” I laugh. “We’re both drunk. So take some time to think it over with a clear head. And let me know if I can be of service, LJ.” I mock a bow, and once again have to catch my balance with a hand slapped against the wall.
“Are you sure this isn’t just you giving yourself an out?” She crosses her arms and narrows her eyes. “Because you don’t have to give yourself one. My answer is no.”
I should be relieved. I’ve never thought of sleeping with Jane before. Sure, I mean seeing her grow into her body more over the last year or so, I definitely have stolen my fair share of glances her way when none of the guys were looking. And her intelligence has always intimidated the hell out of me, but also lit a fire inside my chest whenever she gets into a debate with Reid.
But the idea of ever doing anything more with her? No way.
Some lines exist for a reason.
But the thought of her hooking up with someone else bothers the fuck out of me. Especially when she’s just looking for a quick fuck to get it over with. They won’t treat her right. They won’t make it about her like she deserves.
Grinning, I leave her to get my secret stash of vodka for a refill. She needs time to think through decisions.
She’ll come to her senses about the whole thing.
Maybe we both will.
She would never find a random guy tonight.
Right ?