30. Jane
30
JANE
R eid helps Nikolai carry in a few plates of food. Before he even came over, Reid had ordered delivery and shortly after he arrived, the doorbell rang with piles of sushi.
I sit back on the couch and listen to the two of them catch up while we eat. It’s true that Nikolai’s time has either been preoccupied by work or by me, so I understand Reid feeling left out a bit. But their bond is so tight, their friendship weaved between their souls, that a little bit of distance isn’t going to hurt them.
We’ve all never spoken about that night explicitly since my quick visit shortly after. As Nikolai and I rebuilt our friendship, we had other things to focus on and I didn’t want to keep asking him about one of the worst nights of his life as he worked on it in therapy.
As far as Reid goes, our friendship really never got off the ground. What I didn’t realize at the time was how Reid was pulling himself away from everyone , not just me, and what that would eventually lead into.
I don’t agree with what he’s done, but I also know the lengths Reid is willing to go to for the people he loves. I know the kind of friend he’s capable of being and I will never be able to thank him enough for being there for Nikolai that night when I couldn’t.
“How long are you planning to be in LA?” Reid asks me. “I thought this was a temporary move but this,” he flicks his chopsticks back and forth between me and Nikolai, “doesn’t feel temporary.”
“I’m not sure,” I answer honestly. “I don’t have everything with work figured out and…” I trail off, looking at Nikolai.
We don’t have everything figured out either. Are we in a relationship? Is this just physical and something we’re both getting out of our system? It feels like more, I know it’s more, but we need to have that conversation.
“Why’d you come out here in the first place? I thought you loved Boston.”
“I do,” I say around a bite of salmon roll. “But I sort of hit a ceiling in my job and haven’t been able to bust through it.”
“That doesn’t sound like you,” Reid muses. His dark blue eyes assess me.
I shrug, pretending to be unbothered. “My ex also got hired there and that was the final straw.”
Reid wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Was he the reason you were crying when you visited us on tour?”
I shoot up in my seat, narrowing my eyes at him. “Why do you say that? And why do you even remember that?”
He simply takes another bite of his California roll. “Because I pay attention.”
“Nothing slips past his notice.” Nikolai laughs as he sips from his beer. “Thought you knew that by now.”
“I do,” I say, “I’m just surprised, I guess. But yes, that’s the one.”
Reid wipes his hands with a napkin. “And you can’t work with him?”
I shake my head. “More like don’t want to. I’ve moved on, but that doesn’t mean I want to see him every day.” And be reminded of how he made me feel about myself on a regular basis.
“You were there first. You should get to keep the job.”
“Don’t encourage her,” Nikolai scolds him. “Why don’t you upsell LA a bit more?”
Reid snorts. “I think your dick is encouraging enough on its own.”
Nikolai raises his glass to him in cheers and I roll my eyes at them. “He can keep the job,” I say. “There’s more opportunities out there. I just need to get a plan in place before I make any decisions.”
This weekend, I have to fly out to Boston for the company's anniversary party and I know Chester is going to be looking for me to report on my progress with making connections here ahead of the LA office opening. The clock is ticking and if I plan to stay out here, then I need to talk to Arun.
“If you stay here, are you going to continue to live here?” Reid asks the question casually, but I look at Nikolai.
“Did you put him up to this?” It’s something Nikolai would do. Have Reid sus out the information he doesn’t want to ask me straight out.
“Of course not.” Nikolai gives me his most innocent look and damn it, it’s charming.
I stifle a chuckle and ask Reid, “Did he put you to this? Are you doing his dirty work?”
“I wouldn’t tell you even if he did. I’m a locked vault of secrets,” Reid says, hiding a smirk behind his whiskey glass.
I choke on my spit. “You can’t be serious.” Reid is a lot of things, but a locked vault is not one of them.
“Deadly.”
I give Nikolai a you buying this? look and to my surprise, Nikolai says, “He’s not wrong. Reid can be trusted with a lot.”
“Tell that to Scar.” I roll my eyes.
“That’s different,” Reid snarks.
I sit up. “How so?” He’s never given anyone an explanation for his actions and I’m genuinely curious.
“The past is the past. Get over it.” He waves me off nonchalantly and it grates on my nerves.
Nikolai clears his throat, ready to jump in and defend his friend. “Reid keeps his word, Jane. Did you forget that he’s known about us for years and never said anything?”
“That’s one thing.”
“And he’s never told anyone about that night.” Nikolai rubs his hand across his jaw.
“As he shouldn’t.”
“There’s more,” Nikolai says, “but we don’t particularly need to run down a list.”
“Some secrets I even know and have kept to myself so as to not embarrass the person I know them about.” Reid arches a brow, challenging me.
“Are you saying you know something about me that you’ve been keeping to yourself?” Nerves prick the back of my neck as my mind races through anything I can possibly think of that might be embarrassing in my past.
“Maybe,” he says, playing coy.
I dart my eyes to Nikolai, whose face is carefully blank.
“Would you care to enlighten me?” I ask Reid, my tone cool. “Because I can’t imagine what you might have on me considering we have not spent much time together in recent years.”
“Oh, this isn’t recent. You’ll have to use that brain of yours to think a while back.” His voice is dripping with arrogance but I’m used to it. I even kind of like it. Reid’s always had a cocky air to him, before all the money and fame.
I sit back, gears turning, trying to figure out what he’s alluding to because I don’t want to give him the satisfaction. But after a minute goes by, he can’t stand it anymore.
“C’mon, Little Walker, I know you were looking for me at that party years ago. That you thought maybe I could help solve your problem. ” He puts air quotes around the last word and watches me in amusement.
I gasp, whipping my head toward Nikolai, who smirks, leaning back with an arm slung over the top of his chair. “He told you?” I ask Reid, embarrassment heating my cheeks. Not only that he knows I was trying to lose my virginity that night, but that I also considered him as a potential option.
Reid nods, his lips pulling up the corners. “We share everything, don’t we?” He slips his eyes across the room to Nikolai who shifts in his chair and nervously glances at me.
What’s he suddenly got to be nervous about?
Wait…
I sputter and blink at the two of them. “Have you?—?”
“Shared women?” Reid asks casually. “You didn’t tell her, Nik?” Nikolai shoots him a look I can’t decipher and Reid continues, “See, I told you I’m a locked vault. A few times over the years. Nothing serious ever, just a little bit of fun.”
Well…that’s news. Not that I guess I’m necessarily surprised. I’m well aware of their reputations and as they rose to fame, it’s not hard to imagine that women wouldn’t be willing to sleep with the both of them.
“Jane,” Nikolai says and when I look at him, he’s nervous. “Look, it’s in the past. I haven’t?—”
I wave him off. “I’m not mad.” His shoulders sag in relief. “What you did while we were apart isn’t my business. And c’mon, it’s not like it’s that surprising.”
He licks his lips and rubs a thumb across his jaw. “It’s not?”
I laugh. “Not really. I’m aware you’ve been a little slutty in your past.”
“A little?” Reid pipes in.
“Okay, a lot.”
Nikolai flips us off.
“And you,” I say to Reid, “definitely not surprising. I mean, why do you think I ever considered you to be an option all those years ago? I knew you could give me what I want and walk away without a glance back. I mean, not like it would’ve ever happened, but, you know.” I take a sip of wine and settle back on the couch, my mind flashing through images of the idea of the two of them together…
“It wouldn’t have?”
I blink. “What?”
He leans forward, elbows on his knees, as he raises a brow at me. “It wouldn’t have happened?”
I glance toward Nikolai, who watches the two of us with interest. Flicking my eyes back to Reid, I say slowly, “I mean, it’s not like you would’ve taken me up on my offer if I would’ve asked you.”
“I wouldn’t have?”
“No?”
“Oh, I absolutely would’ve.”
His admission is like a slap across the face. Or ass . The good kind of slap . “Don’t be an asshole.”
“I’m not being an asshole. For once.” He chuckles.
“Fine,” I sigh. “Then don’t tease me like that. It’s not funny.”
“I’m not teasing. Does it look like I’m teasing, Nik?”
Nikolai’s eyes bounce back and forth between the two of us, like he’s not sure if he should jump in or let this play out.
“I’ve seen the type of women you’re with,” I mutter. And they definitely don’t look like me.
Reid cocks his head. “And you don’t think I can have more than one type?”
“No.”
“Do you want me to tell you that I think you’re a sexy woman, Jane?” he says matter of fact. “Is that what you want to hear? Will that make you feel better about yourself? Make you forget all of those shitty things your ex told you and made you believe?”
How in the hell does he?—
He gives me a knowing smile. The bastard. People often underestimate Reid’s intelligence and get distracted by the way he looks. They mistake his aloofness for a lack of interest and disregard of the things going on around him. Myself included.
But his ability to read people is astounding and I hate to give him props but…
“I’m not professing love for you, Little Walker, so relax.” He chuckles. “But I can appreciate a beautiful woman. Even if she belongs to my best friend.”
“I don’t belong to anyone,” I rasp and immediately take a sip of wine to clear my throat. I don’t want him, or Nikolai for that matter, to hear how his words have affected me. The air seems to have gone up a few degrees and my shirt clings to my skin.
“She’s still in denial,” Nikolai pipes in, but I don’t bother refuting him. Instead, my mind drifts off, thinking about the two of them together. With me .
I’ve always been able to appreciate that Reid is an attractive guy without being attracted to him. Maybe because I’ve always been blinded by Nikolai or because I know we’d never be a good match for each other. He’s too volatile, too moody.
But as I sit here and trace the veins in his hands as they flex when picking up his next bite of food and the way his full lips part as he brings it to his mouth…
I shift in my seat as my blood turns hot and a pull begins in my core. Thinking about the harshness of Reid balanced with the gentleness of Nikolai, I can hardly sit still.
Guilt floods me at the fact that I’m actually getting turned on thinking about it. I don’t want Reid.
“I can still give you what you want,” Reid says, interrupting my heated spiral.
I frown. “What?”
Nikolai shifts out of the corner of my eye, and Reid marks the movement with a knowing grin.
“You said you considered me as an option because I could give you what you want and walk away after with no strings,” he continues. “I can still do that.”
His glass is still half-full and he hasn’t had a refill yet, so he can’t possibly be drunk. But why else would he be saying this? Especially in front of Nikolai. I wait for him to shoot Reid down, to get angry, to shut him up, but instead he watches me, letting me take the lead on this.
Is he actually okay with this right now?
“I-I’m not, I’m with Nikolai,” I stutter.
Reid cocks his head in Nikolai’s direction. “What do you think? One last time for old time’s sake?”
My mouth falls open as it looks like Nikolai is actually considering this. That I’m even excited at the idea of it.
“It’s not my decision,” he says, his voice thick and his cheeks flushed a bright red.
“Are you drunk?” I can’t stop myself from asking, and he chuckles.
“No,” he says.
“Then how are you not bothered by this? Your best friend is hitting on me right in front of you!” I feel slightly crazy that I seem to be the only one finding this strange.
Nikolai runs a hand through his hair, brushing it back from his forehead. “I’m not threatened by him trying to steal you from me, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
Reid makes a sound of agreement as he chews another bite of food. Glad one of us is still enjoying our meal because both Nikolai and I have abandoned our dinner.
“And we can forget this whole conversation even happened if you want. But I’m not going to lie to you and say that I don’t kinda love the idea of it.”
“Of what?” My words are barely a whisper.
Nikolai leans forward, planting his elbows on his knees as our eyes lock. Shivers race down my spine as he says, “The three of us. Just this once. You're both the most important people in my life. You’ve seen me at my darkest, at my lowest, and you both refused to give up on me.”
“If you want this, just this one time, now’s your chance,” Reid tells me. “If he’s going to be your forever, then this happens here and now or never.”
Nikolai watches me carefully and curiously . His pupils are blown and lips are slightly parted. “You’d be okay with that? With him touching me? With sharing me?” I thought it might bother me, but for some reason, and maybe because it’s Reid, it doesn’t.
Nikolai shakes his head, his heated gaze not leaving my own. He echoes my own thoughts. “With him?” He points at Reid. “No. But only because it’s him, and I trust him. And I know you do, too.”
I do. Reid may have broken my brother's trust and Scar’s but he hasn’t broken mine. Or Nikolai’s.
But to do something like this? I’ve never even considered the possibility. For so many years, I was worried about finding even one person that would think I was beautiful enough to sleep with and then once I was with Nikolai, I thought he’d be mine forever. But that shattered and then Liam came into the picture. When that fell apart too, I still never thought about it.
Two men. My first love and his best friend. One of my oldest friends.
The three of us have history and could this put a close to some of it as Nikolai and I move into whatever this new chapter is? Would this ruin things?
But judging by the hungry looks on each of their faces, I don’t think it will. I wasn’t wrong in my assessment years ago that I could be with Reid and part with no strings attached. That still holds true I think and I know my heart belongs to one person only.
“I don’t care if you want to prove something to yourself or to him or whatever reason you may be coming up with in your head to justify it.” Reid shrugs casually. “But I can see the idea excites you.” His eyes trail down my body from my parted lips to my heaving chest. “And I know it excites him.” He looks at Nikolai and gives him the same slow perusal. “This stays between us. It wouldn’t be the first secret we keep.”
It wouldn’t.
My heart races and blood roars in my ears. The room seems to be closing in until the presence of the two of them is so overwhelming I can’t think straight. And maybe I don’t want to think straight. I just want to feel.
I’m always making plans and checking boxes. I’m prepared and logical and always take the time to think things over before making a decision.
But I don’t want to think.
Fuck it.
“I want this.”
It’s a blur as to how the three of us get from the living room up to one of Nikolai’s guest rooms. Nikolai led the way and as we passed his bedroom and I faltered, waiting for him to take us in there, he shot over his shoulder, “That’s just for the two of us.”
So instead, we stand in a guest room overlooking the lush backyard and hills of the city. The sun has gone down, leaving the stars to shine light into the darkened room. I’m grateful for the low lighting. If it was brighter, I might rethink this. Rethink of Reid seeing me naked and being so exposed between the two of them.
Reid leans against the dresser on one side of the room, facing the bed. He crosses his long arms as if he’s waiting for something. I look at Nikolai, waiting to follow his lead.
He perches at the edge of the bed and reaches out for me. I step into his arms and he widens his legs for me to stand between them. His hands are warm against my exposed legs and I relax into his touch. His hair shines beneath the starlight and I thread my fingers through it.
“I don’t want to ask you again because I know how your brain works and how much you love to overthink things,” he says with a soft chuckle, “but are you sure?”
I surprise the both of us with how quickly I answer, “I’m sure.”
His hands knead my flesh as his eyes spark. “Just say stop and it stops, okay?”
“I trust you.” Then I look over my shoulder at Reid. “I trust you, too.”
Nikolai’s hand grips my jaw and spins my face toward him. I gasp at the movement and the sheer possessiveness of his hold.
“Trust this, LJ, you’re mine. Whether you deny it or not, that’s the truth. So when he’s touching you, remember that. And enjoy it, because after tonight, no one is ever going to touch you like this again except for me. Got it?”
Nikolai’s dominance takes me aback and turns me on. I don’t even want to argue with him because he’s saying everything I want to hear.
We may be doing this tonight, but I’ll only ever truly belong to Nikolai. This is for me to accept every part of me. To try to settle that little voice inside my head once and for all. I have two men who I trust with my life telling me they want me, wanting to show me they do, and I want it, too. I want to quiet those insecurities and just exist in this moment of tonight and not the possibilities of tomorrow.
And while neither of them voice it, I know this is also a closing to a chapter for Nikolai and Reid. They’ve been each other’s number one since they were teenagers, but things have changed. Priorities have shifted, things have happened that changed them forever, and they aren’t the same carefree party boys they used to be. While they’ll always be in each other’s lives, it won’t always be in the same way.
I’m Nikolai’s number one now, just as he’s mine. I can taste Reid’s jealousy as he suddenly stands behind me, his hands groping my hips roughly. He pushes me into Nikolai, and it brings a sick sense of satisfaction to my chest.
“He asked if you understood him,” Reid murmurs in my ear, his breath hot. “Answer him.”
I swallow down the desire to challenge Reid because right now, I like how demanding the two of them are being. It helps keep my mind shut off. “I understand.”
“Good,” Nikolai coos. Standing, he causes me to step back into Reid. I’m tall, but between the two of them, I feel overpowered as they both tower over me. Nikolai strips to his briefs and I take in every inch of exposed skin with hunger.
“God, you’re beautiful,” I mumble before I can stop it. Reid lets out a hard breath through his nose, chest shaking in silent laughter, as Nikolai plants a kiss against my forehead.
“That might be the first compliment you’ve ever given me, LJ.”
“It is not. And it’s not like I’m telling you what you don’t already know.”
“Oh, I do know.” He smiles cockily. “But it’s nice to hear it from you.” He locks his hands on my hips as he pulls them flush to his. His cock presses into my stomach and he groans as he holds me tight against him.
Reid’s hands explore my arms, shoulders, around the front to my chest. He slips them beneath my shirt and my breath catches as he cups my breasts. I gasp and lean into him.
Nikolai’s eyes practically set my skin ablaze as he watches Reid fondle me.
“You like watching him touch me?”
“Almost as much as you like him touching you.”
Sweat beads at my hairline as I’m trapped between the two of them. Both sets of hands touch and squeeze and tease every inch of my body. I whimper when Reid slips a hand between my legs, pushes my underwear aside, and slides a finger across my core.
“She’s soaking,” he says huskily.
Nikolai grinds against me, eyes transfixed on Reid’s hand beneath my clothes. “Show me.”
Reid pulls his hand away, and I cry out at the loss of contact. But I quickly shut up as he brings his finger, glistening with my arousal, to Nikolai’s lips.
“Fuck,” I whisper as Nikolai sucks Reid’s finger into his mouth. Reid grows harder against my back and he curses softly.
Nikolai looks practically feral as he releases Reid’s finger. Before I can blink, he dives in, capturing my mouth with his. I taste myself on his lips. His tongue meets mine and I suck on it, pulling a groan from deep in his throat. I can feel Reid’s eyes on us, watching, waiting.
Nikolai breaks the kiss and trails his lips across the line of my jaw and down the column of my throat. As he does so, Reid pushes my shorts and underwear down my legs and steps back to allow me room to kick them away.
I arch my neck, giving him space to suck at the skin there. Reid steps closer once more and this time, he nudges me forward. The motion causes Nikolai to step back until his knees hit the bed and he lies back. He quickly pulls off his underwear and motions for me to climb on top of him.
I don’t have to be told twice. I straddle his lap and grind myself against him. He grabs my hips and brings me down harder against his cock. Each movement brushes my clit against him and I struggle to catch my breath.
“Yes,” Nikolai hisses as he watches my hips grind over him. “Use me.”
I’m so consumed by Nikolai that I didn’t notice that the air against my back grows cold. When I glance over my shoulder, Reid’s gone.
“Where did he?—"
Like a creature of the night, Reid stalks into the room and tosses something to Nikolai that I can’t see. And before I have a chance to ask him to show me, Nikolai’s hand disappears beneath a pillow up by the top of the bed and when he pulls it back out, it’s empty.
“Arms up,” Nikolai orders me. I raise them above my head, but it’s not him who grabs the hem of my shirt and slowly pulls it over my head, teasing my skin as he goes. It’s Reid.
I’m left in just my bra, but Nikolai makes quick work of that as well. The moment it’s gone and I’m left completely naked, totally exposed, something pops up in the back of my mind and I stiffen.
Reid’s bare chest presses against my back and I relish the warmth he brings. Nikolai sits up and kisses me once more, coaxing me back into the moment. He knows me too well.
I don’t know whose hands belong to who as one grabs my breast, teasing the nipple while another grips my thigh. My hips start moving on their accord, grinding myself on Nikolai’s lap again. Desire pulses between my legs and I need relief.
“That’s my girl,” Nikolai mutters as he brings his hips up to meet mine. “Think she needs more?”
“Look at her make a mess on you,” Reid says, looking over my shoulder and down at Nikolai’s lap. “I think she does.”
Nikolai gives me a quick but deep kiss, before he lies back again.
I twist my neck around to lock my lips with Reid’s but a sharp slap on my ass has me pulling back. Noting my stunned expression, Reid grabs my chin in a strong grip, his other hand soothing the sting.
“You want soft kisses and reassurances; you take that up with your boyfriend.” I open my mouth to refute that title but he continues, “We’re gonna fuck you. Hard. And when you need those soft moments, you turn to him, not me. You get my cock and attention and be grateful for it.”
His harsh words send my spine straightening and chin rising, preparing to spit something back at him. But the look in his eye is pure lust and when he removes his hand from my face and snakes it in between Nikolai’s body and my own to stroke my clit, I melt under his touch and swallow my words.
Because while harsh, what he said is true. I don’t need words of affirmation or whispered affections. I want from him what he wants from me.
Pure, unadulterated pleasure. This is about me.
In this moment, I don’t think and just let myself feel. When I have two beautiful men’s hands roaming every curve and dip of my body like they can’t get enough of me, how can I think any less of myself?
Nikolai lifts my hips and I slide onto his length in one, easy push. I revel in the feeling of him inside me as I lock onto his crushing blue eyes that hold so much admiration and lust.
He begins long, slow strokes as Reid pushes me forward with a strong hand on the middle of my back that sends shivers through me. He pushes me down until I’m chest to chest with Nikolai, my breasts brushing against him and I stifle a moan at how sensitive they are.
Nikolai smiles at me, knowing how on edge I am and how attuned my body is to every little brush and touch from the two of them.
Reid palms the cheeks of my ass and slowly spreads them as Nikolai stalls his thrusts, seated inside of me.
“Fuck, I love a nice ass,” Reid mutters. Instinct has me wanting to cover myself from being so exposed to his gaze. But when I turn to look at him, the heat in his eyes stops my muscles from clenching and instead of turning in on myself, I arch my back and present myself further to him. A murmured curse spills from his lips, and when I turn back to look at Nikolai, a smirk is firmly in place on his lush lips.
“So eager to get your ass fucked by my best friend.” He plants a kiss on my lips before he pulls back and strokes my breasts, pulling my nipples into taut peaks while I whither and mewl on his cock. I need him to start moving. Needing more, more, more.
A cool, lubed finger probes my entrance and my spine straightens in a start. I immediately try to shrink away, not used to the foreign feeling. A resounding smack on my ass reverberates through the room. Nikolai moves his large hands to my hips, his grip warm and firm, keeping me in place.
“Stay still and open up for me,” Reid demands, his tone brokering no discussion. I feel the command deep within my bones. I turn around and give him a dirty look, and while normally, I would throw back a biting comment about not answering to him, in this moment right here, right now, I do answer to him. I answer to Nikolai and put all of my trust and trust over my body into their hands.
And I feel safe. There’s no judgment here. No secrets.
Only love and acceptance and the desire to close this sort of chapter the three of us have held open over the years.
And to close the chapter on all of the negative things my mind tries to tell itself. They’re not focused on the rolls of flesh around my stomach or the stretch marks wrapping around my thighs. They’re focused on my pleasure and their own.
And with that realization, I arch my back once more, settling over Nikolai again and he wraps his arms around my back, keeping me in place. He runs his fingernails lightly over my sides and I feel those soothing scratches all the way to the tips of my toes.
Reid’s finger resumes its probing at my ass, soft but insistent, determined to get past my ring of muscles and get me ready for him. As much as I try to relax, he isn’t making much progress and I feel more than see him and Nikolai have a silent conversation before one of Nikolai’s hands leaves my hip and shuffles around under the pillows by his head. I don’t see what he grabs until I hear a faint buzzing noise and my head shoots up—a small bullet vibrator. He guides it between our bodies to nestle against my clit.
So that’s what Reid tossed him earlier.
My hips immediately jerk at the light buzzing as a soft moan spills from my lips, my core clenching around Nikolai’s length still lodged inside of me.
“My girl likes that, doesn’t she?” he coos, not needing a confirmation from me as he can feel my answer in the rolling of my hips for more. He looks over my shoulder back at Reid with a small nod and instead of just one finger this time, Reid comes at me with two and is met with much less resistance than before now that the vibrations are coaxing my muscles into relaxing
I’m so turned on between Nikolai inside of me and the buzzing on my clit that I don’t feel much of a burn at all when Reid starts twisting his fingers inside of me, the sensation foreign and stretching, but not bad. Not bad at all.
Actually really, really fucking good.
I start pushing back on his hand, fucking his fingers when he and Nikolai both let out a low laugh. “She’s ready for you,” Nikolai tells him.
I turn my head to look at Reid, but Nikolai stops me with a strong hand on my jaw, whipping my face back to his. “You keep your eyes right here, you hear me?” A hint of jealousy gleams in his eye and satisfaction curls in my stomach. Good, I want to see him jealous, even if he’s just as into this as me. “That is"—he smiles a downright devilish smile—“if you want to come.” He reaches his other arm down between us to take away the vibrator and as soon as the buzzing leaves me, I cry out in protest.
“I’ll be good, promise.” I just about beg, my hips rolling on their own accord, chasing the pleasure that he just took away.
Instead of answering me, he looks over my shoulder at Reid, addressing him with the next question. “You think she’ll be good, Reid? She capable of that?” A cocky grin splays across his face as my body becomes strung tighter than a bow, knowing he’s leaving me right on the edge.
“Good girls don’t let their boyfriends share them with their best friends, so I sure as hell hope not.” And with that, I feel Reid’s cock notch at the entrance to my ass. Nikolai places the vibrator on my clit once more and pulls me back to his chest as Reid tries to slowly make his way inside me.
My body wants to tense up at Reid’s attempt to enter, too full already from Nikolai and unused to the sensation. But between the scent of sex in the air, the buildup between the three of us, and the sensation of pleasure pulsing through my blood, I find myself relaxing and melting into Nikolai’s chest.
They must both feel it too because Nikolai eases out of me until just the tip remains, clearing the way for Reid to push into my ass. I cry out as he slides in inch by inch. It burns much more than his fingers, and I struggle to breathe through it.
Nikolai whispers sweet nothings in my ear as he keeps my hips locked in place, telling me how good I’m being, how good my ass is taking our friend and letting him in, while I don’t hear anything but low moans and whispered fuck’s under Reid’s breathe.
“Is he almost there?” I whimper, needing to move, needing to come, but also so very distracted by this new feeling. I bite into Nikolai’s chest at a particularly deep thrust from Reid. He barely reacts to the sting of my teeth. I’m already so full; I can't imagine he has any more to give me.
Reid laughs and smacks the side of my ass, sending a spark of pain and pleasure through my body. “Don’t insult me, Little Walker.” And with that, he eases in another inch.
I slam my forehead against Nikolai’s sweat slicked chest and blow out a tight breath. He smooths a hand over my hair, comforting me with soft strokes down my head while Reid settles in my ass.
I lay there, sandwiched between two powerful, large men, helpless to move but having no desire to try to do so.
“Finally,” Reid pants. “Ready to go?” he asks Nikolai, not looking at me for any acknowledgment and something about that, about that feeling of him not caring to check in with me and only interested in getting to get this show on the road, sends a shiver of pleasure through me.
“Feels like she’s ready.” And without warning, Nikolai pulls back and plunges into my pussy, stretching me impossibly full, and I cry out, not sure if this is the most painful or the most incredible feeling I’ve ever experienced. Before even giving me a chance to adjust, Reid slides out of my ass and back in, just as Nikolai begins sliding in the opposite rhythm.
One in, one out.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
All thoughts leave my brain as every bit of focus zeroes in on them, driving in and out, the slap of bodies against each other and the smell of sweat and sex permeating the air. I give in to the baser side of myself and let these two men—one that I trust with my mind, body, and heart; the other with my pleasure—fuel me with their heat and lust.
The vibrator against my clit pushes me closer and closer to the edge, and each of them must feel it as they pick up the pace and stroke deeper, harder. I prop myself on my elbows, not able to stay resting against Nikolai’s chest anymore and throw my head back, eyes shut in pleasure as I let the sensations roll over me.
“I’m coming,” I tell them, feeling my body beginning to lock up.
“Do it,” Reid says, gripping my ass in a viselike squeeze, pounding into me with abandon.
“That’s my LJ,” Nikolai coos, pawing at my breasts and pinching my nipples, bringing me over the edge.
Euphoria floods my entire body and all I see is black as I squeeze my eyes shut and feel my body pulse, shutter, bow, and break beneath them.
As I come down from my high, neither of them lets up on their pace and the bullet between my legs that used to bring me such pleasure is now slowly morphing into sharp pain.
I hiss through my teeth and shift, trying to dislodge the bullet but I’m stuck between the two men still savagely fucking me.
“Too much,” I cry out, trying to wiggle and escape the vibrations. Reid must realize where the source of my discomfort is coming from as he slows and pulls back. He keeps himself inside of me but allows me the space to sit up on Nikolai’s lap.
But before I can move even an inch, Nikolai’s strong hands are on either of my shoulders and he slams me down to his chest.
What? No . I need to get this torture device away from me.
“Nikolai,” I cry. “It’s too much, I need it off.”
Maybe he doesn’t realize what I’m talking about, but when I adjust my head to peer up at him, a wicked gleam in his eyes tells me he knows exactly what he’s doing.
“Nikolai,” I whimper again. I buck my hips and do everything in my restrained state to get the vibrator away from my overly sensitive clit.
“You’ll take it, baby. I want another one.” His soft kiss at my forehead is at odds with his cruel words and I hear Reid laugh, slamming into me again, all too happy with Nikolai’s decision.
“Relax into it, Little Walker,” Reid says, and he resumes his usual, punishing pace.
Relax into it? Relaxation isn’t even in the realm of possibility as they both continue to thrust into me with a relentless rhythm. I have no choice but to hold on and completely surrender myself.
The vibrator is still strong, but it slowly eases into pleasure again as I start to build toward another orgasm.
“See,” Nikolai says through clenched teeth, at the edge of his control. “Look how good it can be when you don’t try to control it.”
“Fuck off,” I moan, hating that he’s right.
Reid snorts and then says into my ear, “Don’t worry. Let’s make him whimper now.”
I can’t see what he’s doing, but I feel Reid’s arm snake down past my body and between Nikolai’s legs. Nikolai’s cock jerks inside of me.
“Look at him,” Reid says, his voice husky. “Look how much he loves when I do this.”
Nikolai throws his head back against the mattress with a whimpered, “Oh fuck.”
“Been awhile, hasn’t it, Nik?” I hear the smile in Reid’s voice as Nikolai moans and squirms beneath me.
Holy shit. He’s fingering him. Nikolai’s chest hitches as he struggles to breathe, and whatever Reid is doing makes his eyes roll back.
“Fuck,” I whisper, awestruck at watching the pleasure roll over Nikolai. I squeeze myself around him and his hands hold onto me for dear life.
“God—Fuck, the two of you…Shit.”
“He can't even form a complete sentence, LJ. Look at him wither.” Reid's dark amusement shoots straight to my core. Between that, hearing Nikolai cry out as he comes, the vibrator at my clit, and Reid’s punishing thrusts into my ass, it hurdles me into a second orgasm.
My voice is hoarse as I cry out and collapse against Nikolai, both of our bodies jostled as Reid pumps into me once, twice more, before gritting out, “Fuuuck,” and emptying inside me.
He sinks on top of me, pressing me harder into Nikolai, but it feels good. And thankfully, Nikolai grabs the vibrator and tosses it away. I heave a sigh of relief and contentment as I lie between the two of them.
The air is hot and the night quiet as we catch our breath. There’s no sense of awkwardness between us as we float down from the high. Even as awareness of my nudity sinks back in and the fact that Reid is lying naked on top of me, it doesn’t make me want to curl in on myself.
“Saved the best for last, huh, Nik?” Reid’s voice is scratchy as he breaks the silence.
Nikolai’s chest rumbles beneath mine in laughter. “Damn straight.”
I don’t even have it in me to be jealous thinking of the other girls they’ve done this with. As I told Nikolai, the past is the past, and I know I am the last one.
“Good job, boys,” I mumble into Nikolai’s shoulder and they both snicker.
A hand rubs my side as Reid says, “Glad it was up to par for you.”
He pulls away from me, and Nikolai wraps his arms around me, cradling me into him.
My eyes grow heavy, and I yawn. I don’t think I could move right now even if I wanted to. Nikolai must sense it because he says to Reid, “Toss me that blanket, will you?”
Soft fabric is laid over the both of us. I can’t help it as I tease, “Tucking us in, Reid?”
“Shut up.” Then he mutters to himself, “Should burn that fucking blanket.”
Reid and Nikolai make small talk as Reid gets dressed but I tune them out, floating in the headspace the two of them put me in. I like it here. It’s quiet.
And in it, replaying everything that just happened, I realize I never needed the validation from them. I needed it from myself.
As I lie here in Nikolai’s arms, I feel it. I’m in tune with my body and its harmony.
I’m not sure if I interrupt them but they both stop to listen when I ask softly, “This doesn’t change anything between us, right?”
Nikolai brushes the hair back from my forehead before pressing a gentle kiss in his wake. “No. It changes nothing, LJ. You’re still mine and I’m still yours.”
I like the sound of that.
“Reid?”
“What? Are you seriously asking that now? It would be a little late.”
“Dude,” Nikolai chides.
Reid scoffs but says, “This doesn’t change anything. You’re still a pain in my ass. I just got to return the favor.”
I flip him off, too exhausted to speak and relief sweeps through me.
Nikolai gives Reid a nod in goodbye and I can feel the weighted exchange the two of them have without even needing to look. They got their closure.
We got it together.
Another secret the three of us are going to be taking with us to the grave.