35. Nikolai
35
NIKOLAI
“ Y our call has been forwarded to an automated voice message system. ”
“Fuck!” I slam the phone against the backseat of the car and plant my elbow on the door, resting my head against it. I feel like bashing it into the side of the car instead.
Jane’s been sending me to voicemail for hours. After the performance, I chartered a jet and was flying back to LA within the hour. I couldn’t wait for my scheduled flight the following morning.
The sun is just beginning to rise over the hills as Hendrik drives me home. I’m just hoping, praying that Jane is still there. She texted me that she was watching the performance last night, so I know she saw Kerra kiss me. I’m still seething over her pulling that kind of stunt and the anger is good to focus on right now. It’s better than the panic churning my empty stomach at the idea that Jane thinks I betrayed her.
We turn onto my street and I unclick my seatbelt, ready to bolt the moment Hendrik parks.
“Thank you for getting up so early to pick me up.” I reach for the handle but Hendrik clicks the locks. I lean over the front console. “What are you doing?”
He un-clicks his seatbelt and turns in the driver's seat to face me.
“Be honest with her. But most importantly, be honest with yourself, son.”
I slump in the seat and drag my palms down the front of my face. I didn’t sleep at all last night on the flight and exhaustion is starting to weigh on me as much as everything else.
“You owe it to yourself to finally be honest with both her and yourself. I’ve watched you grow up into a tremendous young man amongst the pressure and circumstances that tried to change who you are. But you’re resilient. And I haven’t forgotten the many times you sat in that very seat and told me all about the girl that you let get away.”
I choke out a wet laugh as my eyes grow misty. “I fucked it up again.”
Hendrik shakes his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. She’ll listen to you. She’s a smart woman and she’ll know.”
My head falls against the headrest and I stare at the roof of the car. “I’ve put in so much work to regain her trust and it feels like I lost all of that in the matter of a few seconds.”
“You won’t know that until you talk to her.” He unlocks the car. Hendrik looks at me with such fondness, such care, that it makes my lungs squeeze. He’s been with me for the past seven years and oftentimes felt more like a father figure to me than my own father who has moved on to his new family.
“Thanks, Hendrik. For everything.”
He pats my leg and turns away. “Go talk to her.”
I hop out of the car, leg muscles protesting at all of the sitting they’ve been doing the last seven hours, and jog into the house.
The alarm system isn’t set when I open the door, so that’s a good sign.
“Jane,” I call out when I walk through the kitchen and living room. Both are empty. I run upstairs and check her bedroom but her bed is still made and looks like she didn’t sleep in it last night. “ Fuck .”
I dart downstairs and check the theater room and studio. No sign of her.
Panic clogs my throat as I race around the rest of the house, checking every single room and even the closets. Just as I begin to accept that she’s not home, I glance at the pool.
Dark hair billowing behind her in the warm breeze, legs dangling in the water as she watches the sunrise, sits my beautiful girl. My salvation.
My everything.