Chapter 14 #2
She sighed, staring up at the stars.
All I wanted to do was hold her in my arms.
“This university. Your parents wanted all of you to become just like them, ruthless and brutal.” She wasn’t asking a question, just stating something that she’d finally come to accept.
I glared at Alexander, daring him to answer her honestly. When he did, I was floored.
“You obviously know more about the three of us than we realize,” he started.
“My father is considered the most notorious mafia leader in the country. He doesn’t accept weakness, including from his only son.
He considered me incapable of taking over his empire.
The university was his way of tossing me into the lion’s den.
As a Durante, the expectations were high.
I knew I had to prove my worth to a man who acted as if he’d wished I was never born.
So that’s what I did. The Wild Boys were a way of shoving my independence in his face, handling aspects of business that he considered beneath him.
Over four years, I secured several contracts, adding millions of dollars to the bottom line. And I handled our enemies.”
“You mean you killed them,” she threw at him.
He huffed. “Up until the day Garrison was arrested, the blood spilled was from fists flying and merciless methods of business. I’m not a killer, Cassie, but I do have requirements as established by my family as do the other two men in this room.
We came from different worlds, but by banding together, we were a force to be reckoned with.
And they were my only friends, people I could trust. In my world, that’s more valuable than gold.
I realize you can’t understand the lifestyle, but I hope you believe me when I say that we didn’t force Garrison to join. ”
There was more pride in his statement than I’d ever heard before.
“I guess it doesn’t really matter. He’s dead.
He was my brother and he’s dead because of the three of you.
And… his choices.” Her body language changed, her shoulders squared as she took slow and even breaths.
“You’re right. I was fooling myself that Garrison was a hero.
Even then I knew some of what he’d chosen in his life was wrong.
I was old enough to know better. He cared about all three of you.
Sometimes I thought more than he did his own sister.
Maybe I was jealous, but he was my everything.
My mother sheltered me. I only realized when I was much older that she was trying to do so to keep me from truly understanding the kind of man my father was.
But that meant she kept me from Garrison as well. ”
“I’m so sorry,” Brogan whispered.
I was surprised her voice was clear, devoid of the anger and sadness she’d expressed only minutes before.
“Before he was arrested, he warned me that something bad might happen. He asked that I not think badly of him. I didn’t, but I never understood why he chose such a life. Maybe I do now. You were family, the four of you.”
“Yes, we were family. We relied on each other.” I hated the hollow sound in my voice, but I felt empty inside. “But we did some very bad things.”
“I know. Garrison told me. He confided in me, even though he made the stories sound wondrous, as if every adventure was magical. That’s how I knew about the university. I went to the campus once, although I didn’t learn as much as I’d hoped.”
Alexander narrowed his eyes. “Garrison told you the address?”
“Not exactly, but I grew up in Illinois, remember? My mother did have family in St. Louis. I took a trip and found it myself.”
“Were you seen?” I asked, my heart racing. I knew exactly what could happen to an outsider setting foot on the university grounds.
“I think some guy was watching me, a maintenance worker or something, but he never approached me.”
The three of us looked at each other. If the person who saw her had any idea who she was, she could continue to be in danger.
“Anyway, I think you eased some of his pain and loneliness. Just so you know, our father threw me away too,” she whispered, closing her eyes.
“I was a dirty little secret that could derail his career. He didn’t want either of us.
That’s why Garrison was so important to me.
I didn’t send those texts to either of you and I wasn’t working with someone.
What I did, the horrible crimes I committed I handled on my own.
I thought I was someone I wasn’t and I’m sorry.
That can’t mean much to you, but at least you know how I feel. ”
All five of us had been broken, uncertain of our futures. Somehow, we’d found each other. Sadly, I doubted anything could help us stay together.
“I’m curious. Where are your rings?” she asked, the conviction suddenly lost in her voice.
Alexander lifted his hand, touching the ring on his finger.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I took it off before entering the CIA.” My God. I hadn’t thought much about the ring in years, but the symbol had been an acceptance of power.
“Everything I had was lost or given away after I went to prison,” Brogan admitted. “My mother handled the task after my father started bragging that his son had earned his stripes by going to prison. Yeah, I had a fucked-up family.”
“The rings are beautiful. Garrison sent his to me. I think that’s what he wanted to give me that day he was with all three of you.
After he was arrested, an envelope arrived in the mail.
He’d told me it was coming, although I didn’t expect it so soon.
Inside was the ring and a letter stating that on the day I turned eighteen, everything in his bank accounts would be transferred to me.
I had no knowledge of how much he’d earned, and I didn’t care.
He knew he was never coming out of prison.
He was prepared to die for the vow he made to all of you.
Which was why I made the decision to keep the vow I’d made to him after he died.
I wanted to crush you, all of you. I wanted you to feel the pain he’d felt, but now I realize that his honor and the respect he had for you made him happier than anything else. ”
Her words were soft, the lilt mesmerizing, yet they sliced a hole in my heart that I doubted could be repaired.
I was surprised when Alexander left the room abruptly, moving past her and onto the deck, heading down the stairs.
She took a deep breath, watching him walk away. Then she followed him.
The world as we’d known it had just shifted into something else altogether. The love I felt for her burned deep and bright, but we’d be forced to let her go. She deserved so much better than any of us.
* * *
Cassie
The truth.
I’d wanted the truth for so long that now I knew, I felt almost nothing inside. No pain. No anger. Just… nothing.
Yet as I walked down the deck stairs, I couldn’t take my eyes off Alexander. He stood close to the water, staring out at the ocean as if the waves would provide the answers he’d been seeking his entire life.
I yanked my shoes into my hand, taking my time approaching.
When I was two feet behind him, he took a deep breath, slowly shifting his head over his shoulder.
He said nothing, remaining the stoic man he’d always been, but there was no denying the explosive heat we’d felt before.
It crackled in the breeze like a sinful invitation.
As I moved beside him, the tumble of emotions was as unexpected as the thoughts racing through my mind. I didn’t want to return to a life without him, without all three of them. Sadly, I couldn’t imagine how that was possible after the pain we’d all endured.
I stared into the blackness of the night, trying to find a way to approach him. He was like a carved block of stone, incapable of cracking. I hated the tension between us.
Twenty seconds turned into two full minutes, compounding the darkness swelling inside of me.
“There are no adequate words to express how I’m feeling except I am very sorry for acting as if I didn’t care about Garrison. I did. I know you can’t believe me, and I don’t blame you. He was special, different than the rest of us.”
His words were subtle, startling in many ways.
The tone of his voice was a clear indication of his remorse, but I’d already seen it on his face.
It was possible I’d never seen so much guilt haunting a man as I had with him.
All the months I’d wanted to hate him most seemed unbearable, ridiculous.
I did care about him, as much as I did both Brogan and Daniel.
Still, the passion we’d shared seemed far away, as if it had never happened.
“He admired you.”
Alexander chuckled, but his expression wasn’t out of amusement. He had a noose around his neck that he’d placed there himself. Now he was ready to jump off the platform, the action leading to his death.
“He was the one to be admired. And I did. I wish he’d told me about you. But his adoration provides a strange level of comfort even now.”
“Who is Emily?” I asked, the name one I’d remembered from a single conversation I’d had with Garrison.
He seemed surprised, finally turning toward me.
The moonlight highlighted extreme agony on his face, his breathing ragged.
“I can’t believe he told you. She was a special young woman all four of us cared about.
I destroyed what we shared, much like I took away your relationship with your brother.
I don’t have any words that will justify my actions then or recently.
What Emily taught all four of us was that even ruthless men could find love.
I just didn’t know how to embrace the gift I’d been given.
I know that means little to you, but it’s good you know. ”
“You’re not a bad man, Alexander. You’re just uncertain of what you want out of life.”