Chapter 14 #3
There was a moment of surprise in his eyes as he gazed at me, the slight smile he offered providing me with more understanding of him than I’d had before. His heart had been broken, which had jaded him even more than the years of service to an organization he’d believed to be his destiny.
“I am a bad man, Cassie. I’m what nightmares are created of, but I never meant to hurt you.
I brought you here trying to maintain my level of power.
You took that away with the first look you gave me.
You’ve been the only person to rip away my armor.
As strange as it sounds, I’m grateful for that.
” He inched closer yet remained so distant from me.
A part of me wanted to run into his arms, but I felt stiff, incapable of allowing my desires to surface. “I don’t believe you. What is this place to you?”
He seemed surprised by my question. “I thought it was another level of enforcing power on those who remain under the thumb of my family. Now? I’m not certain.”
“You have the capability of making this place special, something that will ease your conscience.”
Perplexed, he allowed a full smile to cross his face. “What do you think this place should be?”
“A beautiful destination for families who deserve to enjoy time spent together but couldn’t afford such a luxurious location in their wildest dreams. Imagine the pool filled with happy children, parents able to enjoy accommodations that are safe, posh, and otherwise unattainable.
Make it like your own private Disneyland, full of activities to enlighten the imagination. ”
I dared to take a glance into his eyes, expecting amusement or admonishment, but he was listening intently.
“Go on,” he encouraged.
“You could consider it a nonprofit, finding investors to help you. Flights would be free or at least something they could afford. Have their every need catered to, even for just a little while. Maybe then they’d believe there is some good in this world. You can make that happen.”
I found myself walking closer until we were only a few inches apart.
He lowered his gaze, taking several deep breaths.
When he raised his hand, brushing his fingers across my face, the same incredible sensations rushed through every cell and muscle.
I was suddenly lightheaded, my need for the man shoving past all the anger and hatred I’d felt.
When he curled his fingers, pulling his hand away, I knew he’d shut down.
“I’ve fallen in love with you, Cassie. I think I did the moment I looked into your eyes, but a man like me doesn’t deserve the woman you are.
Kind. Generous. Loyal to a fault. I can’t give you what you need, but both Brogan and Daniel can.
They are the best men I know, people I’m honored to call my friends, even though I haven’t been a very good friend to them, just like I wasn’t to your brother.
I will find the person responsible for killing Garrison.
That much I promise you. When I do, they will pay. ”
“Don’t kill that person, Alexander. What good would it do? Promise me you’ll let it alone.”
“I won’t make you a promise I’m not certain I can keep, but as long as you’re safe, I’ll do what I can.”
He was already letting me go.
“Okay,” I managed, my pulse racing so fast my throat tightened.
“Just so you know. Garrison loved you more than anything. I know that about him. Whatever money he left you, use it for all the goodness you just mentioned.”
“Maybe I will.”
“I’m glad. He’d like that.”
I pressed my hand against his chest, fighting the urge to wrap my arms around his neck. “You are a good man, Alexander. Allow yourself to become what you’ve been fighting to find your entire life. Don’t allow your anger or your need for revenge to cloud the person you’ve become.”
He cupped my face, the hold gentler than ever before.
When he lowered his head, breathing across my lips, my heart raced.
“I will always love you, Cassie, so much so I’m going to let you go.
Find your happiness.” He pressed his lips across mine, slowly easing his hand around my waist and pulling me against his chest.
We’d kissed before, but for those few precious seconds, I enjoyed being lost in his arms.
Time seemed to stop, but when I opened my eyes, he was gone.
And I’d never felt such loneliness in my life.
* * *
The darkness was comforting, but the stars were just like Brogan had said.
They were not only mesmerizing, but they provided hope for the future.
As I thought about Garrison, I had the distinct feeling he was smiling down at me.
It was time to forgive the things I hadn’t been able to control in the past, forging a way into the future.
Only I didn’t know what that future would entail. How could I? The thought of leaving the island and never seeing the three men again created intense pain in my heart. But I had to forgo fantasies. The four of us could never bridge the distance that had been created from guilt and anger.
No matter how much I wanted that to happen.
“When you wish upon a star…”
I couldn’t help but smile hearing Daniel’s strong, deep baritone as he sang the few words. His voice alone sent a tremor throughout my system. “What do you wish for?”
“To go back in time,” he answered. There was such sadness to his voice.
“What good would that do?”
“I don’t know, Cassie, but having the opportunity would be incredible.”
“Do you miss her? I know about Emily.”
He seemed surprised by my question. “Emily was a beautiful young woman with stars in her eyes. She adored having four men fawn over her, but our love story was tragic right from the start.”
“Four,” I repeated. “I didn’t know. Garrison mentioned her but didn’t say the four of you were involved in a relationship.”
“It was more like a blip in time, a few months of pretending we could have everything we wanted. I’m sorry if I upset you further.”
“You didn’t. He had every right to have a girlfriend. I just thought he told me everything, but how could he in the limited time we’d spent together? Was she amazing?”
I couldn’t look at him for some reason. It was crazy I felt a hint of jealousy.
“Emily was a very special girl, but she wasn’t you. You are… perfect.”
There was a faraway sound in his voice. “I’m anything but perfect.”
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”
He moved by my side, giving me a heated look.
“I don’t hate any of you,” I said, the wind likely carrying my whispered voice out to sea.
“You should. I don’t blame you.”
“That won’t bring Garrison back.”
“No, you’re right. Walk with me?”
The question sounded hopeful. “Of course.”
While he didn’t take my hand or wrap his arm around me, he remained as close as our slow gait would allow. As we walked along the water, the quiet between us wasn’t tense. It was peaceful.
“You need to know that we wanted to go to Garrison’s funeral. We were forbidden to.”
I half laughed. “My father?”
“He made certain that we were told explicitly that we weren’t allowed. He caught me coming out of the airport. I’d left my job in Italy to attend the funeral.”
“I’m surprised you listened to him.”
It was his turn to laugh. “He had a very good way of getting what he wanted, Cassie. That’s all I’m going to say.” He intertwined our fingers, squeezing them as if for comfort.
“That bastard. He picked then to act like he gave a damn? I can’t…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence, but I refused to cry. I felt the warmth of his hand and sighed.
“We’re going to take you back tomorrow,” he finally said. “I know that’s what you want.”
“It is. I need time to try and make what happened right in my mind, if that’s possible.” Saying the words were some of the hardest one I’d ever stated.
He nodded. “I understand. You have your life. We have ours. I will tell you that you’ve changed our lives, Cassie.
I know that can’t matter to you, but you have.
” He stopped only a few feet away from the water.
When he sat down, I took a deep breath before easing beside him.
“Whatever real threat we’re facing, you can’t be a part of.
We made decisions all three of us knew would affect our lives. You will not be placed in the middle.”
“I’m a big girl. I can handle myself just fine.”
He lowered his head, the moonlight allowing me to see the grin on his face. “You’re defiant, naughty, and resilient, but you aren’t capable of coming up against the kind of enemies we have lurking in the shadows.”
“Just try me.”
The sound of his laugh dragged a wave of desire up from the depths of my being. I leaned my head against his shoulder, taking shallow breaths.
“You’re something special, Cassie Lark.”
After a few seconds, I tipped my head. When he lowered his, I no longer cared about the vow or the danger we could be facing. The closeness I felt with him was entirely different than with the others. He was the protector. He was the soft blanket.
As he gripped my chin between his thumb and forefinger, there wasn’t an inch of my body that hadn’t started to shiver.
“Lady. I can’t seem to get enough of you.” He captured my mouth, the move passionate, full of emotion. He opened and closed my mouth, rolling his lips back and forth. The taste of him was as incredible as before, tangy yet sweet.
When he shifted, his grip firmer, I pressed both hands against his chest, clamping my fingers around his shirt. He wrapped his other arm around me, pulling me closer, the kiss becoming more passionate.
I leaned closer, arching my back, now clinging to him as if he was a lifeline.
The moment of intimacy exploded, all the need and longing erupting to the surface.
He swept his tongue inside, dominating mine as he devoured my mouth.
I slid one hand down his chest, still marveling in his hard abs, but when I slid my hand against his cock, he moaned into the kiss.