Chapter 5
5
By Friday, Felix was exhausted. Exchanging emails with Jo had kept her on his mind all week. He couldn’t stop picturing her hands, her smile, her pale eyes flecked with dark umber. He’d wanted to write her back, but he couldn’t come up with anything more to say under the guise of librarian/volunteer correspondence. Even asking about her name was pushing the bounds of professionalism.
He read through more of Core Rules to find questions to ask her, but things were actually beginning to make sense. Once he got past the fantasy elements, he found the rules complex, meticulous, and esoteric—in the best way. Wrapping his mind around their intricacies and having things click was extremely satisfying. And since it would be rude to make up questions and waste Jo’s time, he didn’t email her back.
That didn’t stop him from looking up sharply every time the front door of the library opened, though, hoping she’d stroll in to pick up some books. Or from thinking about her in the evenings while he lay on the couch with a book and a glass of wine. Or from hearing her booming laugh in the back of his mind as he fell asleep.
And that’s why he was so exhausted on Friday. He spent every night in his basement gym, getting out the restlessness Jo stirred up in him, overworking his body as he pummeled the bag to the sounds of “Hey Ya!” and “Supermassive Black Hole” and “Work It.” That last one, actually, he’d had to skip when it came up on shuffle. It didn’t help matters.
He was just lonely and pent up, Felix told himself. Dating in his thirties in a town of only eight thousand people was tough. Most women his age were married with kids. He hadn’t slept with anyone, or even gone out much, since he’d lived in New Jersey. He’d just started seeing someone when he got that phone call from Tito last June, a mere week after finishing grad school. Things weren’t serious enough for them to want to try long distance, and since then, there hadn’t been anyone Felix was interested in pursuing.
But now, here was Jo. Funny and cute and passionate about something she loved. Charming him with an abundance of parenthetical statements in her emails. Willing to help him out and asking nothing in return. And, as a bonus, if that text was any indication, she apparently thought he was hot.
There was no denying how good that felt.
“Hey, Peg?” Felix said when his co-worker came back from her lunch break Friday afternoon. “May I ask a favor?”
“You still owe me a dollar from the last time you wanted a pop,” Peggy retorted with a smile.
He chuckled. “Not that. Are you free to stay late tonight? For about an hour?”
“What for?”
“The volunteer I’m working with on the game night launch is coming at six,” he said. “She’s a woman. Last week I didn’t think about the fact that we’d be alone in here. And I had to lock the door after hours.”
Peggy grimaced. “Ooh, honey.”
“I know. I feel awful about it.” Felix ran a hand through his hair and felt the dull burn of a tight muscle deep in his shoulder. “It turned out okay, but she was understandably nervous at first. I think she’ll be more at ease if someone else is here.”
“Well, you know me,” Peggy said with her best customer service smile. “Always glad to help out with volunteers. I’ll be here.”
“Thank you, Peggy.”
A few hours later, right before six, Jo arrived. She was in scrubs again—navy blue pants and a top with a blue-and-white paisley pattern. Her denim jacket was over her head, her glasses dotted with rain from the downpour outside. On her shoulder was a yellow tote bag, emblazoned with the words “There’s a non-zero chance this bag is filled with dice.” She beamed at Felix across the front desk, and he grinned and gave her a polite wave.
“Hey, sugar, we’re closing in a few,” Peggy said as she came around the corner from the reading room, where she’d made the same announcement.
“Oh, I’m here for Felix,” Jo replied, pointing at him. Felix’s heart leapt, despite his head knowing that she didn’t mean it the way it sounded.
“Peggy, this is Jo, our volunteer for game night,” he said, standing up. “Jo, my colleague, Peggy.”
“Great!” Peggy said with a double thumbs-up. “Sorry about that, sugar. If you two want to go get started, I can watch the desk.”
Jo glanced between them and furrowed her brow.
“Peggy’s going to stay tonight,” Felix jumped in. “I thought you’d be more comfortable that way.”
Jo’s jaw dropped in surprise. “You—oh. That… that was thoughtful of you. Thanks. And thanks, Peggy.”
“No trouble at all, Jo. We like to keep our volunteers happy.” She waved in the direction of the reading room. “You kids go on. Plenty of space available.”
Jo gave Felix an eager grin, which did more funny things to his heart. “Ready when you are.”
As they headed off, Peggy called after them, “Holler if you need me!”
“You betcha!” Felix replied with an exaggerated Midwestern accent. He and Peggy both smiled at the inside joke, and he caught Jo smiling too.
They picked a large, round table and began laying out books and papers as the last few stragglers filed out.
“Before we dive in…” Jo rubbed her hands together excitedly. Then she turned her palms up, cupped her hands, and motioned her fingers toward herself in a “come here” gesture. “Lay it on me.”
“Uh, what?” Felix said, his mind spiraling to very work--inappropriate places.
“Your name! What did you pick?”
“Oh, of course.” He opened the manila folder he’d put his character sheet in. He wanted to get it right. “Graxalos. Grax for short.”
Jo’s eyes shone behind her rain-speckled glasses. “I fucking love it.”
The hour with Felix flew by. Jo covered as much ground as she could, starting with how to handle rules-lawyer players and then moving on to combat rules: rolling initiative and turn order, monster actions, and how to track damage and health points. She had brought her own copies of the rulebooks so they could reference multiple things at once, and the large reading-room table was perfect for spreading out.
Peggy walked by the open doorway a couple of times, first pushing a cart full of books, and later with some cash in hand that was replaced by chips and a soda on her way back. She never looked into the room, and Jo got the feeling she wasn’t checking up on them so much as reminding Jo she was in a safe space. Truly, librarians were the best.
When their time was up, Felix relaxed into his chair. He interlaced his fingers and rested his hands on his head. His lips tightened, and his face scrunched up momentarily, like he was in pain. Not the first time he’d done that tonight, she’d noticed.
“Any homework for me this week?” he asked.
“I’ll go over spellcasting with you next week, so maybe read through that part of the rules. Chapter nine. You can email me with any questions. I also want to do a trial run game with you. Something quick that we can do in about thirty minutes.”
“That’s a good idea,” Felix said. “I’m still a little fuzzy on how everything fits together.”
Jo bit her upper lip and fiddled with her pencil. Just say it, Jo. Just ask. You’ll feel better if you do.
“Hey, speaking of email,” she blurted unceremoniously, “I hope I didn’t come on too strong or something.”
She’d been beating herself up about it for days. She had tried—really tried—to keep things work-friend level, but then he’d asked about her name. It was impossible for her to talk about that without making it personal. It was all her awkward childhood memories and the way she met her best friend wrapped up in a single word. And Felix hadn’t written back. She’d checked her email every morning, every break at work, every night, and nothing. Normally, she’d keep quiet about this kind of thing, but Felix was starting to feel like a real friend, not just a work friend. (A very hot friend whose shirt buttons were currently straining against his broad chest, but still.) If she’d made it weird, it would be better to clear the air and move forward. Get a fresh start.
“What are you talking about?” Felix asked, his voice gentle.
“You didn’t email me back, so I thought my story about my name might be too personal for our…” Jo gestured between the two of them with both hands. “Our working relationship. If it was, I’m sorry.”
“It’s your name, Jo,” he said, slowly lowering his hands to his lap. “Of course it’s personal. I asked, and you answered. I didn’t respond because your email ended with something about seeing me Friday, which seemed like the end of the conversation.”
“Oh.”
“And I didn’t have any questions for you, so I didn’t start a new one.”
“Oh,” she said again, not sure what else to say. It was so obvious now, and she felt stupid for assuming the worst.
“I’m sorry my silence troubled you.”
“No, it’s all good,” Jo said, shaking her head. “I kind of got in my head about it, you know? Trying to make friends in a new town, good impressions, all that.”
Felix tilted his head and smiled. “You want to be friends? What happened to ‘our working relationship’?”
“?Por qué no los dos?”
Felix’s eyes lit up as he raised his eyebrows in delight. “?Hablas espa?ol?”
“What? No. Sorry, it’s a meme,” Jo said in a rush. “You speak Spanish?”
“I am Spanish.” He seemed more amused than disappointed, which Jo took as a good sign for the whole “let’s be friends” thing. “‘Why not both’ is a meme?”
“Yeah. I thought… I mean… Can’t we be both?”
He nodded, a slow, steady drop of his chin until he was looking up at her from under his brows. “I’d like that.”
Christ, his eyelashes.She was almost jealous of how long and thick they were. Jo had never met a man who made hair—all hair, everywhere—look so good.
“Cool,” she managed to say.
Felix stood to pack up and winced again.
“You okay? You look like you’re in pain. We could have canceled tonight if you’re not feeling well.”
“I’m just sore,” he said. “I worked out a little too hard this week.”
“What do you do to work out?” Jo asked.
“Boxing, mostly.”
Her jaw dropped as the pieces slotted into place. “Oh my God, of course you do, Mr. Grounded-in-Reality. A real-life pugilist.”
Felix grinned shyly. “Not really. I don’t hit people. Just a punching bag in the basement.”
“Still cool.”
“Thank you.”
In the lull that followed, Jo and Felix did nothing more than stare at each other.
“You kids about done?”
Jo jumped. She’d forgotten Peggy was here.
Felix tapped his phone screen. “Fuck,” he muttered, then he raised his voice. “Packing up now, Peg—sorry! Sorry to you too, Jo. I kept you five minutes over.”
“That was friend time,” she replied, “not work time.”
“Except for Peggy.”
“Yeah, oops,” Jo said, shoving books and dice into her tote. “Thank you again for doing that. It, um, it means a lot.”
“Peggy’s good people.”
You are too.Jo barely had time to bite back the words. Maybe she shouldn’t have. Maybe it would have been a nice, friendly compliment. But it felt way too intimate a thing to say to someone she’d spent less than three hours with, during which she’d mostly talked his ear off about Monsters and Mythology. So she held the words inside, where they settled, warm and solid and true, near her heart.
He let her go ahead of him into the lobby, where Peggy was standing near the door, library key in one hand and car key in the other.
“Thanks for staying, Peggy,” Jo said. “You don’t have to next week, though. I feel comfortable here.” Out of the corner of her eye, she watched a gratified smile appear on Felix’s face.
“Are you sure, honey?” Peggy said. “I really don’t mind. I’m just starving. I can bring dinner next time, and I’ll be less inclined to holler.” She winked.
Unable to stop herself, Jo glanced over at Felix. “I’m sure.”
Later that evening, Jo curled up on the couch in her one--bedroom apartment on the top floor of a fourplex. She was in her pajamas, aimlessly scrolling through random videos and posts on her phone, while Merry, her brown tabby, snoozed on her feet. Her ankle was quirked at a weird angle, but she knew better than to disturb a sleeping cat. If she’d thought ahead, she could have grabbed her library book off the nightstand—the one Leni had recommended to her. But she hadn’t thought ahead and, again, sleeping cat. She was trapped.
Bored of cycling through the same three social media apps, she switched over to her texts. Aida was out with her fiancé, Trey, tonight, so Jo pulled up the dormant group text with her California MnM group. The group included Aida, of course, but hopefully someone else would be around to respond.
Jo
*taps mic* Is this thing on?
I miss you guys.
Kim
OMG, Jo!
How are you???
Heather
Joooooooo
Max
hey
Jo
I’m good! Bored. Not much of a Friday night scene around here.
Young
Oh, cool, so you only check in with us after A MONTH because you’re bored. Love you too.
J/K, moving sucks and it’s always busier than you think it’ll be.
David
Hi, Jo. Miss you. We’re starting up the new campaign next week. Mind if I pick your brain about GMing some time? I don’t know how you did this much prep every week.
Jo
It’s a lot! It’s easier once things get rolling. But yeah, text me any time!
Max
speaking of mnm
INDI-CON
Kim
Two more weeks!!
Heather
Indi-Con, baby! Kim, remind me to ask you about cosplay stuff.
Jo smiled as excited messages poured in, fast and furious. With each new text, excitement stirred within her too. Indi-Con was going to be her first gaming convention in almost two years. She’d said no at first, months ago, when the group decided to make the trip out to Indianapolis for the biggest MnM con in the country. It was only after she and Jeremy broke up and she made plans to move to Kansas that she changed her mind, mostly for the excuse to see Aida and everyone else.
Now, though, her excitement wasn’t just about seeing her friends. Jo could practically hear the buzz of the crowded gaming hall and the clatter of dice. She could picture the bright green Indi-Con banners and the enormous exhibit hall packed with vendors and artists. She could feel the electric energy of meeting gamers from around the country and the delirious high of running on barely any sleep for an entire weekend.
Young
Let’s make sure we get in a game together.
Kim
Yeah! Can we all play our characters from our last campaign?
Max
Lyric, bard extraordinaire, shall rise again
David
Signups are open online. I’ll see what’s available.
Several minutes later, they had all signed up for the same Saturday morning game. Jo navigated back to the main Indi-Con webpage and scrolled through the schedule. Lots of games still needed GMs, including the giant Legendary event, her favorite part of any convention. She tapped on one of the open Legendary tables, and her finger hovered over the “Join as GM” button.
“What do you think, Mer-bear?” she asked her cat. His ear rotated toward her, but he was otherwise disinclined to provide any guidance. “You’re hurting my ankle you know, you big dingus.”
Merry didn’t even dignify that with an ear turn.
“You’re no help at all.”
Jo took a deep breath and tapped the button. She watched the page reload. “Game Master: Jo Rainier,” it said. Tears filled her eyes, and she smiled to herself. She couldn’t fully explain it, but it felt like a victory, like returning home.
She didn’t want to bother Aida, but she wanted to tell someone what she’d just done. And the person who came to mind, even ahead of her friends in the group chat, was Felix.
Which was ridiculous, of course. He wouldn’t understand. He probably wouldn’t even care. There was no reason to tell him. She only thought of him in the first place because they were officially friends now.
Jo’s smile grew. She was friends with Felix.
Felix, who listened to her and absorbed all the information she threw at him. Who made sure she felt comfortable around him. Who wrote overly formal emails but said “fuck” like he meant it, all breathy and low and dark.
Her phone buzzed in her hand, startling her out of her thoughts. The Indi-Con conversation had moved on to finding a place to get dinner together on their first night in town. Jo sent a message casting her vote for whatever was closest to the hotel.
She shifted her foot, and Merry popped his head up and glared at her with sleepy eyes. “I’m sorry, sir, did I disturb you? We should go to bed soon anyway, so you might as well get up.”
Merry stood and arched his back, vibrating all over as he stretched. Jo scratched his shoulders, which was her first mistake. Her second mistake was not moving her feet as soon as Merry released her. He turned in a tight circle and flopped back onto Jo’s ankle, lying on his opposite side.
“Buddy, nooo,” Jo nudged him with her foot, but Merry just side-eyed her and put his chin on his paws.
From:Felix Navarro
To:Jo Rainier
Date:Saturday, May 11, 2024, 8:26 A.M.
Subject:Advertising for MnM
Good morning Jo,
I’ve given some thought to advertising the library’s MnM launch event. I don’t believe I’ve mentioned this yet, actually: Warren Riggs, our director, has set the launch date for Tuesday, June 11th. One month from today, in fact. Game night is now one of the library’s summer programs and will run through the end of August.
My thinking is that, if the objective is to bring a younger age bracket into the library, we should be advertising around Ashville Community College. Tonight, I plan to head to Stan’s, a popular bar near ACC, to see if they are interested in partnering with us. Since you know MnM much better than I do, I’d appreciate your help talking it up. I understand that this goes beyond the hour per week you agreed to volunteer for the library, so please feel no obligation.
Here is a map linkto Stan’s location. I’ll be arriving around 9:00 P.M. this evening.
Best,
Felix
~
Felix Navarro, MI
Junior Librarian, General Services
Butler County Library District — Ashville Public Library
From:Jo Rainier
To:Felix Navarro
Date:Saturday, May 11, 2024, 9:44 A.M.
Subject:RE: Advertising for MnM
Oh god, you want me to show up somewhere at 9pm? A college bar on a Saturday night, no less?? I’m almost 35, dude.
(I’m in.)
Jo