Chapter 18
After they’d both used the bathroom and cleaned themselves up, Felix turned down the bed and nestled under the cool sheets with Jo in his arms. It was too early to sleep, so they lay there in silence, exchanging gentle, unhurried touches. Felix thought he could hold onto Jo forever and not tire of it. Her head on his shoulder, her hand caressing his chest, her breath warming his skin.
It was Felix who spoke first. “Is there something I can call you? Like sweetheart or honey or something?”
Jo’s fingers went still on his chest. “I’m sorry about that.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry I called you something you don’t like.”
She didn’t respond.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” he said again and ran his hand over her back. “I shouldn’t have brought it up. We don’t have to talk about it now.”
“You’re good, Felix. I’m not upset,” she said. “It’s kind of embarrassing, is all. Why I don’t like ‘baby.’”
“I won’t laugh. But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
The quiet stretched on long enough that Felix was sure the conversation was over. He was about to change the subject when Jo took the kind of deep breath one takes to steel themself.
“My ex,” she began, and dread washed over him. “He liked it when I played a character in bed. It was a joke at first. I came home from a con once in costume as a pixie character of mine. I flirted with him in character, and we ended up… anyway, he liked it, so I kept doing it.”
Jo gave a small, unconvincing laugh that cut Felix to the quick. She covered her face with her hand like she didn’t want him to see the way she blushed.
“He got tired of her and wanted me to make up a new character each time,” she continued, her voice meeker than Felix had ever heard it. “But he could never remember their names, so he called me ‘baby’ the whole time.”
“That sounds…” he said, searching for the right word, “dehumanizing.”
Jo looked at him with something like realization in her eyes. “Yeah. That’s exactly what it was.”
“He shouldn’t have done that to you.” Felix hoped he wasn’t telling her something she didn’t already know. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her palm. Then her inner wrist. Then higher and higher, up to the crook of her elbow. “I don’t have to call you anything other than Jo if that’s what you prefer.”
She pressed her lips together thoughtfully. “You called me something in Spanish during the tornado. What was that?”
“I don’t know,” Felix admitted. “I don’t remember calling you anything.”
“I think it ended with -i?o?”
He racked his brain, but only one word came to mind. The only reason he’d call her something that ended in -i?o instead of -i?a. “Cari?o?”
Her eyes lit up with recognition. “Yes! What does that mean?”
“It’s like darling or sweetie,” he explained, a little breathless. Had he really called her that? “Cari?o” wasn’t a term he used casually, or something he’d ever called a friend. It must have slipped out in the heat of the moment.
Jo gave him a warm smile. “I’d like that.”
“Cari?o míoJo,” Felix said, the words rolling off his tongue as if he’d been waiting his whole life to say them. He touched her cheek and drew her in. “I like it too.”
He kissed her, pulling her on top of him as he settled deeper into the pillows. Jo slid her knee between his legs and cuddled closer, her entire body flush with his. Her thigh brushed his dick, and he groaned.
She grinned. “Already up for round two?”
“Not yet, I’m afraid,” he chuckled. “Old man, remember?”
“Is that what I should call you?” she teased, kissing him again. “‘Old man?’”
“I’d prefer ‘hot librarian.’”
She planted her hand by his shoulder and pushed herself up. She stared down at his amused face, horrified. “Oh my God, you did see that. No wonder you didn’t give me your phone number.”
Felix, distracted by the way her hair fell along her blushing cheeks, didn’t quite follow her. “What?”
“That night!” she cried, gesticulating with her free hand. “That first night alone in the library. I was all horny for your arms, and then I told you to give me your number while there’s this ‘hot librarian’ text from my best friend on my phone. I was so worried I’d creeped you out.”
He grinned, a slow, sly grin. “You were horny for my arms?”
“You had to notice me notice them.”
“Well, they’re extremely noticeable.” He raised his arm, tucked his hand under his head, and flexed. Jo’s eyes darted over. “See?”
“They’re extremely attractive is what they are.”
“That too.” He dropped the playful tone. “Jo, the reason I didn’t give you my number that night is because I thought email would be more respectful of your time. You were already offering to go above and beyond the one hour a week we agreed to. I didn’t want to text you a question at lunch or late at night and have you think I expected an answer right away. Email was meant to let you respond whenever was convenient for you.”
“Well, shit.”
“What?”
“That’s even more attractive than your arms.” And she kissed Felix with such ferocity it took his breath away.
“This place is seriously called Grinders?” Kim asked on Monday morning as everyone entered the breakfast spot Aida had found. “What the actual fuck?”
“It started out as a coffee shop,” Aida explained.
“I think it’s cute,” Heather declared in that way of hers that indicated it would be pointless to disagree.
“A grinder is also a sandwich, right?” Young asked from behind their sunglasses. “Isn’t that what they call subs in the Midwest?” They looked to Felix.
“Uh, no,” he said. “I mean, yes, a grinder is a sub, but that’s not a Midwest thing.”
“Where do they call them grinders, then?” Young asked.
“New England,” Max said. He waved his phone. “Just looked it up.”
“So I can’t get a sub here?” Young asked.
“Literally none of us have been here before, Young,” Trey said. “How would we know that?”
Young shrugged. “Online menu?”
“On it,” Max said.
“My dude, they are about to hand us menus,” Kim said, flailing both arms toward the host stand where Aida was checking them in.
“Now I want a sub,” David said.
“It’s not even nine a.m.,” Heather retorted, scandalized by the thought.
“I’m going to miss you chucklefucks,” Jo said with melodramatic longing.
“Aw, Jo,” Kim cried. She folded Jo into an almost-painful hug from the side, pinning Jo’s arms down and squishing their cheeks together. “I’m going to miss you too. When are you coming to California to visit?”
“I don’t know, probably Christmas?” Her voice was muffled on account of her cheek being pressed against her teeth.
“Not til Christmas?!”
“No subs,” Max reported. “But they have a Reuben and a French dip. And burgers.”
David lit up. “Ooh, that means fries.”
“Again. Not even nine,” Heather said.
“What’s the difference between fries and hash browns, though?” David argued. “Same concept.”
Aida spun on her heel, grabbing their attention. “Come on, kids, breakfast time.”
Kim finally released Jo and scampered after the host. Felix came alongside Jo and slipped his hand in hers. She mouthed “sorry” to him.
“Don’t give me that, cari?o,” Felix whispered. The new nickname made her smile. “Your friends are great.”
“Let’s see if you still think so after they’re caffeinated, hot librarian,” she said.
Breakfast was about as chaotic as Jo expected. Felix mostly observed the overlapping conversations, chiming in occasionally between bites of chicken and waffles (and the fries David ordered for the table). But Jo noticed him smiling the entire time.
Their goodbyes in the parking lot were even more chaotic, with handshakes and tears and at least six hugs between Jo and Aida. All too soon, Jo climbed into her car beside Felix and set her GPS for his address. Waving through the windows, they set off for Kansas. For home.
The drive to Ashville went by far too quickly for Felix’s liking. He and Jo talked about books and movies and their families. They sat in companionable silence and watched the plains, which really were quite lovely, go by. They sang along to his playlists and shared some of their favorite songs with one another. They played the alphabet game with license plates. They tried turning on a podcast, but couldn’t agree on what to listen to, so they went back to music.
And then, just like that, they were back.
It was nearly eight o’clock by the time they pulled into the driveway at Tito’s house. Felix put the car in park but didn’t turn off the engine. He was just getting dropped off, after all, and then Jo would go home. She was probably excited to sleep in her own bed again after three nights away. Felix sensed her watching him and turned to her. She was smiling gently. He wasn’t quite used to her looking at him like that, like she couldn’t believe her luck. His heart squeezed with some emotion he couldn’t quite name.
Jo hooked a finger into the hem of his shirtsleeve. She pulled him in as she leaned closer, and their lips met tenderly above the cupholders. He wasn’t ready. He didn’t want to watch her drive away.
He held her face and ran his thumb over her cheek, pink from driving in the sun all day. “Are you working tomorrow?”
“No, I took an extra day off.”
“I don’t start until noon,” he said. “Stay. Please.”
“Felix…” She kissed him again, harder and deeper. Her lips parted, and Felix drank her in. He pushed his hand to the back of her head and slid his fingers into her hair. Jo took off her seatbelt and leaned in even farther, clinging to Felix with both hands. He trailed kisses along her jaw. She moaned next to his ear, sweeter than any sound he could imagine.
“You probably have to get home to take care of Merry,” he said.
Jo moaned again. “Do you have any idea how hot it is that you care about my cat?”
“He’s part of your life, cari?o. That makes him important to me.”
“Jesus Christ, Felix. Just fuck me already.”
He chuckled and nipped at her earlobe. She inhaled sharply. “Is that a yes to staying over?”
“Yes,” she said. “Vanessa fed Merry dinner a couple of hours ago. He’ll be fine until the morning.”
Felix didn’t know who Vanessa was, and he didn’t really care at the moment. He’d ask later. Right now, they needed to get inside. He returned to Jo’s mouth and kissed her with the promise of more, much more, to come.
They unloaded the car and hurried up the porch steps. Felix fumbled with his keys in his excitement. He’d never brought someone over to this house, and the fact Jo was the first, hopefully the only, was—
The only?
Slow down, man,he told himself. Not just about getting the key in the lock, but about that wild thought. Where the fuck had that even come from? Three days after their first kiss was a little early to be contemplating long-term commitment.
Finally, he got the door open and let Jo go in first. They set their bags on the floor between the burgundy armchairs where Tito and Lita used to watch TV together. Felix never sat there. Jo ran a finger over the leather arm of one. Slowly, she spun in a circle and took in the rest of the room: the brick fireplace with the life-sized wooden ducks on the mantle, the wall-mounted TV surrounded by dozens of family photos, the burgundy couch that matched the armchairs, the blue and goldenrod floral rug that covered most of the hardwood floor.
Something about her standing there, that sweet smile curving lips still swollen from his kisses… For the first time since he’d moved to Ashville, this house felt like home.
She indicated the wall of photos with her head. “Are there any of you?”
He took her by the hand and showed her the photos of him growing up. Photos from the backyard of his home in Tulsa; from family trips to the Alamo, Walt Disney World, and New Orleans; from his childhood soccer team that his grandparents had insisted on calling a football team until it became a running joke. One of the largest ones was his senior picture from high school where his stubble was already so thick he looked about twenty--five. He showed her wedding photos of Tito and Lita, of his parents, of his second and third cousins in Spain. Jo held his hand and listened to him talk and asked thoughtful questions to draw out more stories.
When they reached the end, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Thank you for sharing your family with me,” she said.
“You owe me now.” He tucked his fingers under the hem of her shirt and traced them along her skin. “We need to go to California so I can see all of your embarrassing childhood photos.”
“Oh, there are some choice ones at Dad’s house.” She twirled a lock of his hair around her finger. “I did figure skating for a couple of years. The costumes were extremely sparkly. Nothing like an eight-year-old in rhinestones and stage makeup.”
“I can’t wait. Christmas, right?”
Jo’s eyebrows flickered together in confusion. “What?”
“This morning, you told Kim you’d go back to California for Christmas,” he said and was suddenly struck by the horrible feeling he’d said too much. His whole body went ice cold, except his face, which flushed hot. “I mean—that is, if we… if we’re still—”
She pushed up onto her tiptoes and cut him off with a kiss. He pulled her tighter against his body, giving her something to balance against.
“You want us to be together at Christmas?” she asked.
“I want us to be together for a long time, cari?o,” he replied. “I—” There were more words inside him, somewhere deep down and tucked away, words that were too big and too soon and too terrifying to give voice to. Instead of those, he said, “I’m very into you.”
Jo giggled and bit her lip. “The feeling is mutual, hot librarian. I’m very into you too.”
The pressure of her fingers in his hair increased, and Felix let her lower his head. They picked up where they’d left off in the car. Hot, open-mouthed kisses. Panting breaths. Felix’s mouth on Jo’s neck and his hands on her ass.
He’d been telling himself for weeks that it was Jo’s hips he was obsessed with. It seemed safer that way, somehow. Not as lecherous. But he might as well admit the truth to himself. It was her ass he desired. Her wide, dimpled, Rubenesque ass that begged to be gripped and spanked and maybe even fucked, if she’d let him take her that way someday. Oh, how he hoped she would. His dick in her ass and his hand in her cunt. Both hands, if he could manage it. Fucking her twice over and massaging her clit until she screamed and screamed. And after, holding her against his chest, murmuring gentle words, and stroking her hair as their bodies trembled with the aftershocks of pleasure.
His erection grazed Jo’s belly as she slid down from her toes. She ground against him, making him hiss. “God, you’re so hard already.”
“Only because you know exactly how to make me feel good.” He curled his hips toward her to emphasize his words.
She flushed an even rosier shade of pink and glanced away coyly. “You have a bit of a praise kink, don’t you, Felix?”
“I suppose I do,” he chuckled. “I like telling my partner how she makes me feel and when she does something I like. Take right now, for instance. You’re so beautiful when you blush, Jo. I like knowing I’m the one who makes you turn that lovely pink.” He kissed her cheek, feeling the warmth of her skin against his lips. “Is that okay? So far, you’ve seemed to like it, but I can stop if—”
She shook her head, cutting him off. “Don’t. I don’t want you to stop. I didn’t know I liked it until… No one’s ever talked to me like that in bed before. But it’s really nice to hear.”
“Then I’ll keep doing it. But if you learn you don’t like something, all you have to do is tell me.”
They regarded one another seriously for a moment, Felix’s mind casting back to the evening before, when he’d called her “baby.” It wouldn’t surprise him if Jo were thinking about the same thing.
“I will,” she agreed. “And you should speak up if there’s anything you don’t like too.”
“Of course.” He waited a beat to see if she had more to add. When she didn’t, he shifted his voice to a more playful tone. “Now, you already know how much I like your teasing, but I think we’ve both waited enough. Come here.”
He gripped her ass, her glorious ass, and bent his knees. Jo got the drift and jumped as he hefted her up. Her legs locked around his waist. She was taller than him now, and he had to tilt his head up to kiss her. Jo draped her forearms over his shoulders, twining her fingers through his hair.
“Let me go down on you tonight, Jo,” he said. “I want to know what your pussy tastes like.”
“Only if I can suck your cock in return. Taste your come.”
Fuck. Yes.He fought to keep his voice even, controlled, while inside he was screaming those words again and again. “I think that can be arranged.”
“Thank Christ.” Jo captured his mouth again and squeezed her legs around him hard enough to make him grunt. The wet spot between her legs was hot and damp against his shirt.
Felix was grateful to have grown up around his grandparents’ house. He knew where every wall and piece of furniture was without needing to look. He kept kissing her as he took her into the guest bedroom, stopping only to toss her onto the bed. Jo let out a gleeful squeal as she landed. He switched on a lamp so he could watch her come and covered her body with his.