Chapter 20
The prospect of GMing Monsters and Mythology was more nerve-racking than Felix expected. He found a short SWOP adventure online and read it over three times on his lunch break on Friday. It had seemed simple enough over his PBJ, but by the time six o’clock rolled around, he was a bundle of nerves. Walking into the reading room behind Jo and Leni, Felix didn’t just have butterflies in his stomach. He had a damn colony of wasps in there with nothing better to do than sting his insides.
Jo gave his elbow a reassuring squeeze. “You’ll do great,” she whispered.
Felix smiled to himself. Her faith in him didn’t completely banish his anxiety, but it helped. It really fucking helped.
Over the next hour, he did his best to guide Spanky and Veena through the adventure. Jo offered suggestions with a kind, easy manner. Enough of her comments were directed toward Leni that Felix didn’t feel singled out. Somehow, he didn’t think that was an accident. He might be the one running the adventure, but Jo set the tone for the game. She made it fun, simply by being herself, by bringing her thoughtfulness and zeal for MnM to the table. There were no words, in English or in Spanish, for how grateful Felix was that she was here.
When the first combat encounter came up, his nerves ratcheted up a notch. As a player, he only had to keep track of his own character during combat. But as a GM, there were multiple monsters, each with their own abilities and health points to track. There were strategic decisions to make, too, to keep the players challenged while not killing their characters outright. Every dice roll had the potential to change the fight and force him to switch tactics. To keep it all straight, Felix had to be focused, meticulous, and exact. And… those were all things he was good at.
Had he really gotten so wound up about GMing that he’d forgotten his own strengths?
Once he settled into the flow of it, he found combat far more interesting than the storytelling side of the game. Felix didn’t have any illusions about his skills, though. Thinking through all his options made the combat slow, rather than fast-paced and exciting. And his improvisation definitely needed work. His brain seemed to lock up whenever one of them (usually Leni) proposed an idea or asked a question that the adventure didn’t provide guidance for. Jo helped where she could, but sometimes Felix had to say no and move on. Luckily, Leni didn’t seem to mind; for her, simply coming up with the ideas seemed to be the fun part.
And at the end of the hour, Felix wrapped up the story and gave out rewards, and Leni burst into applause. “This was so much fun, Felix. I can’t wait to play again.”
“You did a great job,” Jo added. “Both of you.” She looked back and forth between them, her gaze lingering on Felix a beat longer.
“Same time next week?” Leni asked as she gathered her things. “I want to try casting spells now that I’m at level two.”
“Works for me,” Jo said.
“Definitely,” Felix agreed. “I’m going to need another go at this before I’m set loose on the unsuspecting public.”
Jo slipped off to the bathroom while Felix unlocked the front door for Leni and shut down the library for the night, running back over the game in his mind. When he returned to the reading room to pack up his MnM things, Jo wasn’t back yet. He furrowed his brow, wondering if he should be worried about her.
“Ahem.”
He turned, and there she was. In the doorway of the reading room, transformed.
They had texted about her getting dressed up for their date. He’d forgotten all about that once their conversation went to more interesting places and pictures became involved. Now, he remembered, and his eyes trailed over her.
Jo wore a white sundress patterned with bright yellow lemons and pale green leaves. It was low-cut, sleeveless, and fell to mid-thigh, showing off more of her skin than usual. Her tattoo peeked around either side of the shoulder strap. Felix saw a glimpse of what looked like white, lace-edged bike shorts peeking out from under the flared skirt. On her feet were strappy yellow sandals with heels, and she wore a chunky bright teal necklace and matching bracelet. Her hair was down and straight, her glasses were nowhere to be seen, and she’d touched up her makeup. She’d added lipstick, the same dark red one she’d been wearing the night they’d met. Those lips had haunted him for days afterward. No doubt they would again.
“You’re so beautiful, Jo,” he breathed. “You look amazing.”
“I clean up nice, huh?” she said, twirling as she came into the room. Her skirt lifted, granting him a better look at those cute shorts that hugged her form.
He slid his hand around her waist, and she leaned into him. She was taller in heels, naturally. He liked it. It would make her that much easier to kiss. “Now I feel underdressed. I should have brought a tie.”
“No, you look perfect.” Jo smoothed her hand over the collar of his forest-green dress shirt, stirring his blood in his veins. Then she stroked his cheek, her thumb on the gray stubble on his chin. “You’re always gorgeous.”
Something else, something fathomless and unnameable, stirred within Felix at her words. He bumped her nose with his. “I don’t think I’ve ever been called that before.”
“Well, it’s true. You’re the most gorgeous man I’ve ever known.”
“Tell me something, Jo,” he said. “Will I smear that wicked lipstick if I kiss you right now?”
She shook her head. “It’s lip stain. It’ll—”
Felix didn’t wait to hear what it would do. He kissed Jo with all the affection and all the aching hunger inside him. She curled her fingers around his neck. Her thumb brushed the shell of his ear, sending tingles down his spine. Fuck if she didn’t always know exactly how to touch him to give him the most magnificent shivers. Places he didn’t even know he liked to be touched until Jo was the one doing the touching.
Her lips curved into a smile against his. “We’re at your workplace, gorgeous. I hope there aren’t cameras in here.”
Felix sighed through his nose. “I like that. ‘Gorgeous.’”
“Then I’d better keep saying it.”
“You’re right, though.” He released Jo and missed her warmth immediately. “Shall we go to dinner?”
“I’m famished.”
On the forty-minute drive to Wichita, they talked about MnM. The sight of Jo in that dress had thrown him for a loop, but there were some questions still on his mind. Felix wasn’t sure he’d be able to fully relax and enjoy their date until he hashed through them, and Jo assured him she didn’t mind. He asked her about what she would do in certain situations, beginning with tonight’s game and then expanding to some of the things he’d seen at Indi--Con. She gave him long and detailed answers, apologizing more than once for going on and on. Each time, Felix told her it was fine, that she didn’t need to be sorry.
And each time, his chest ached to hear her second-guess herself, to assume that he didn’t care what she had to say, even when he was asking her direct questions. It reminded him of that night at Stan’s, back when they were first getting to know each other. Felix had thought they’d moved past this trepidation of hers. After weeks of MnM lessons, after Indi-Con, after he’d met her friends from California, how could she still think she needed to hold herself back from him? There were no traces of apology about her when they were with Leni, but now that they were alone, something had changed.
Felix would have bet Tito’s house that it had something to do with her ex. Trey had told him the guy didn’t play MnM. The hard, flat “no” Trey had given him made Felix believe there was a story there. One that, by rights, was Jo’s story to tell. How would he even broach that subject? He certainly wasn’t going to bring it up now, mere minutes from the restaurant on their first official date.
Should he even bring it up at all, though? He didn’t want to force Jo to talk about her douchebag of an ex. Again. Even if the other times hadn’t been intentional, he’d asked uncomfortable questions with uncomfortable answers. Most couples didn’t talk about their past relationships, especially the shitty ones, so soon. There had to be a better approach, a way to remind her that he wasn’t that guy. A way to help her trust him.
When he parked at the restaurant, he angled toward her. “I hope you know how much I love listening to you talk about MnM. I appreciate how passionate you are about it, and I’m in awe of how much you know every time I ask you questions.”
Jo fiddled with the lace on her shorts, staring at her hands. He willed her to look at him, but she didn’t.
“I know,” she whispered. “Sometimes I forget that, but I know.”
He couldn’t take it any longer; he touched her chin and turned her to face him. Her eyes shone in the orange lamplight. He glimpsed uneasiness there for just a moment, then it melted away. Jo mouthed the words “thank you.” Tension he hadn’t realized he was carrying loosened from his shoulders. He leaned over and kissed her cheek.
“So, where have you brought me, gorgeous?” she asked, blinking her eyes clear.
“Have you ever had tapas?”
A radiant grin spread across her face. “I love tapas.”
Jo’s radiance only grew in the golden light inside the restaurant. Her gaze wandered around the Spanish decor, the dark flecks in her pale eyes accentuated by her deep red lips. Sitting across the table from her, Felix was enraptured. He was lost. He was hers.
He didn’t demur when she asked him to order for both of them. He picked out all his favorites, fully in Spanish just for the hell of it (and definitely not because he was showing off). They feasted on calamari, patatas bravas, gambas al ajillo, crab cakes, stuffed sweet peppers, and paella Valenciana. They drank wine from Madrid and, for dessert, shared a flan dripping with caramel. They talked and laughed and joked and held hands across the table when they weren’t busy gorging themselves.
It was one of the best nights of Felix’s life; certainly the best since he’d moved to Kansas.
On the drive back, surrounded by dark fields and few streetlights, Jo kept leaning forward in her seat to get a better view of the stars through the windshield. It was all Felix could do to keep his eyes on the road; he loved seeing how enraptured she was by this place in the middle of nowhere.
A few miles outside Ashville, he took her hand and asked, “Shall I take you back to the library for your car?” He kept his tone casual and breezy, despite the desire that had begun to pulse through him as they got closer and closer to home. Jo might have been merely teasing him with those texts of hers, but, oh, how he wanted to make them real.
“If you’d like,” she said, matching the lightness of his voice. Her thumb swept across the back of his hand. “But then I think you should come over. You haven’t seen my place yet or met Merry.”
His fist tightened around the steering wheel. “I’d love to.”
“And, if you’re not too tired…” There went her thumb again, shooting tingles all the way up his arm. “I do have something to teach you.”
Felix swore under his breath and pushed on the gas pedal. Jo’s laugh boomed as the speedometer ticked up. She picked up his phone and changed the soft, acoustic music to his early 2000s mix. Missy Elliott’s encouragement to “Get Ur Freak On” accompanied them all the way into Ashville.
An eternity later, Jo stood in front of him at the top of the staircase outside her building, unlocking her door. He hooked his arm around her waist and kissed her neck. Fuck, she smelled so good. Like a piece of strawberry candy. He wanted to hold her on his tongue until she melted. He closed his eyes and inhaled, letting his exhale warm her skin even as the breath came out ragged.
“Relax, gorgeous.” Jo nudged him back with her hip, knowing full well she was brushing against his cock. He groaned into her hair. Without a backwards glance, she stepped delicately out of his grasp and into her apartment. “I have a cat to feed first.”
She switched on a light, and movement from the couch caught his attention. A tabby was curled up on a fleecy, orange blanket. He lifted his head, ears folded back, and blinked in the sudden brightness.
“Hi, Merry.” Felix waved. “Nice to meet you.”
“He says it’s nice to meet you too.” Jo deposited her purse on a hook beside the door.
“I’m honored.”
Merry responded by yawning hugely and tucking his face under his paws.
Jo turned toward Felix. She undid his collar button, then the next one. He had no doubt that she’d stop and tease him about his eagerness again if he so much as reached for her. So he stood there and took it, watching her fingers move deftly down his shirt. Jo untucked it from his slacks and then unbuttoned his cuffs, one at a time. He remained motionless as she pushed the shirt off his shoulders, leaving him in his undershirt.
“Take this off,” she said, glancing down at his chest, “and wait for me in the bedroom.”
Felix whipped the shirt over his head. Startled, Jo shifted back, her pupils going wide as she passed her gaze over his bare chest. Did she honestly believe he’d wait until he was in the other room, without her, to undress? Where was the fun in that?
Without a word, he winked, tossed his shirt aside, and went down the hallway, finding her bedroom easily. He lay on her bed, and oh, Jesus, her pillows smelled like her hair. It was almost too much, all of a sudden. He was in Jo’s bedroom, in Jo’s bed, and he could hear Jo tending to Merry, murmuring gentle words. It was one thing to have her in his room in Tito’s house; to be in her home was something else entirely. He was reminded of the way she’d given him her hotel room key in Indianapolis. No hesitation, no distrust, no worry. Just wanting him to be near, to share her space.
His eyes wandered, taking in Jo’s overstuffed bookcase, her dresser topped with discarded clothes and makeup, various MnM-inspired artwork, a massive photo collage of Jo and Aida over the years, and… her vibrator. It was just sitting there on her nightstand. Hot pink, with a wide, rounded tip, molded to fit perfectly in one’s palm. Was it always there, or had she left it out for them? Had she sent him in here alone knowing he would find it?
He knew that woman.
Of course she had.
He picked it up and turned it on. It buzzed. Loudly.
“I hear that!” Jo called from what sounded like the bathroom. There was no mistaking the glee in her voice; he’d played right into her hands.
“I’m waiting, cari?o, don’t worry. Just seeing what my options are.” He clicked through the different settings, the vibrations reverberating through his hand in all sorts of interesting patterns. Slow, fast, long pulses, short pulses, mixes of various speeds. The sheer number of them boggled the mind. It made sense—everyone was different and liked different things—but Felix had never given vibrator options much thought before. A major oversight on his part, really. One he was only too willing to correct.
He turned off the vibrator, and the light clicked off too. Jo’s silhouette moved through the room, outlined by the nightlight in the hallway. She opened a dresser drawer and began pulling things out. A match was struck. She lit a few candles and set them on the dresser, shoving clothes onto the floor, away from the open flames. She turned in profile, pursed her lips, and puffed out the match, an act which had no right to be as sexy as it was.
He watched her skirt sway as she brought one of the candles over to the nightstand. A light, citrusy scent wafted over him, mingling with the sulfurous smell of the match. Jo’s auburn hair was the deep, rich red of pomegranate seeds. Her pale skin glowed as if lit from within with the same burning desire that coursed through him.
“Unzip me?”
Felix sat up on the edge of the bed. Inch by precious inch, he lowered the zipper of her lemon-patterned dress. He kissed along her spine as he revealed her skin, then set to work on her undergarments. When she stood naked before him, her entire body gleaming in the candlelight, he guided her to sit on his lap. Her weight sank into him, solid, soft, and warm.
He ran his hands over the lush rolls of her low belly and brushed the back of her shoulder with his chin. “I’ve never done this with someone before.”
“Neither have I,” she said over her shoulder.
Felix gauged her expression for any uncertainty or nervousness, but he saw only eager anticipation. Her breath fluttered when Felix kissed the top of her spine. She shifted from hip to hip, her tailbone skimming deliciously against his hardness.
“Let’s learn together, cari?o mío.” He picked up the vibrator and traced its tip up her inner thigh without turning it on. Jo sucked her lower lip between her teeth. “Where do you like it best? Inside or on your clit?”
“On my clit.”
“Lie down for me.”
She lay on her back, and Felix stretched out next to her. Jo guided his hand where she wanted it and nodded. The instant he turned on the lowest setting, she moaned. Her head fell back against the pillow. She nudged his hand a little higher and cried out, writhing against him, her thigh granting him the sweetest friction against his dick. He pushed his hips forward for more as Jo buried her face in his neck.
“Right there, gorgeous,” she panted against his skin. “Don’t move.”
How he loved being called that. Felix had been called a lot of flattering things before—hot, sexy, handsome. But he’d never been called gorgeous, or even beautiful. Words like that carried a deeper meaning to him, spoke to him of something beyond the way he looked. And the way Jo called him “gorgeous,” with the same devotion with which she said his name, made him believe that’s how she meant it.
What an intoxicating thing, to be considered gorgeous by Jo. Jo, whose wild, creative mind had chosen that word for him. Jo, who liked the grays on his chin even more than his abs. Jo, whom he admired, whose opinion he respected. Jo, whom he—
Oh.
Jo, whom he loved.
He loved Jo.
There had been hints of it before, dancing around the edges of conscious thought. But the depth, the magnitude, the certainty of it was undeniable now. Felix loved Jo. With all his heart, with all that he was. He loved her.
“Turn it up,” Jo moaned.
He didn’t react. Couldn’t. His heart had overruled both his brain and his cock, and all he could do was stare into the flame of the candle on the nightstand.
“Felix, please,” Jo begged, clawing at his chest. The scrape of her nails brought Felix back to the moment with a gasp. He pressed his cheek into Jo’s forehead to ground himself here, with her, not lost to his own unfettered feelings. He clicked the button on the vibrator. She arched her back and whimpered.
“You like this one, cari?o?” he asked, centering himself on Jo’s pleasure. That was what mattered right now. She nodded wildly. “I can tell.”
“Felix, I’m—” Her words cut off as she started to shake.
“Already, my Jo? Fuck, that was fast. Look at you, coming so sweetly in my arms.”
All Jo’s cutest features twisted with pleasure. Her lips, stained dark red even after their meal and their kisses, were wide open and round. Felix kissed the upturned corner where they met as Jo convulsed against him, her legs twitching.
Finally, her body began to relax. “Lower,” she said desperately, and he shifted the vibrator lower. “No, turn it down.”
Felix murmured an apology and clicked back to the lowest setting. Jo’s shallow breaths eased.
“It’s too much,” she explained. “Right after. I need a minute.”
“Take all the time you need.” He kissed her temple, her cheek, her hair. He couldn’t seem to stop kissing her. “You’re impossible. I can’t believe you came so quickly.”
She grinned with those sinfully red lips. “I can’t believe you’re still clothed.”
“I can fix that. Take over.”
Jo took the vibrator from him. He rolled off the bed and got naked as quickly as possible. He retrieved the condom he’d stashed in his wallet that morning and tossed it onto a pillow. They watched each other the entire time, Jo breathing heavily as she rubbed the vibrator against her clit. A tiny (minuscule, really) part of Felix wanted to stand there and watch her make herself come over and over. Every other part of him, from head to toe, inside and out, wanted to be the one to do it instead.
As he lay back down beside her, Jo rolled onto her side away from him. Arching her spine, she pushed her ass back.
Felix laughed. “You read my mind, cari?o.”
“It’s very easy to read sometimes. Particularly where my ass is concerned.”
He dragged his fingers along her hip, watching the way her flesh yielded to his touch. “Not my fault you have a perfect ass.”
“You’re one to talk,” she said. “Yours is pretty fucking spectacular too, you know.”
“I know. Now come here.” Felix spooned her, tucking his biceps under her head and nestling his shaft along the slit between her cheeks. He rolled his hips to feel the caress of her body and groaned into her hair. Jo chuckled and wiggled her hips, eliciting one more groan from him. He wrapped his arm around her waist and took back the vibrator. “Tell me when you’re ready for more.”