32. Halo
Halo
The following day
“ H e did what?” Kris questioned me as she scouted the candle section at Bath & Body Works. I swear that girl didn’t need any more candles. Her closet looked like Bath & Body Works.
“You heard me right. He was up there fighting people. The school said he can’t even come back. It’s crazy.”
Saliva sprayed from her lips when she erupted in laughter. “You can’t blame him though. I would’ve done the same thing. These kids these days need to learn to leave people’s children alone. Period.” She picked up a candle and sniffed it. “You think this stank?” She shoved the candle up to my nose before I could even respond.
“Uh, kinda. Put it back.” She placed the candle back on the counter and moved on to the next one. “You don’t think you have too many candles already?”
Kris looked at me and frowned. “Can you mind yo’ business?”
“I need to talk to you about something serious.”
She halted and faced me. “What is it? Is something wrong with Ma?”
“No. It has to do with me. My period is late.” That’s something I didn’t think would be rolling off my tongue. I hadn’t been having sex, so I been took myself off birth control. I actually liked my body better now that I was. It hadn’t crossed my mind that I was no longer on it when I was hopping on Joker’s dick.
“You’re playing with me, right?”
“Do it look like I’m playing? The Flo app told me it’s time for me to take a pregnancy test.”
“So why you didn’t?”
“I’m kinda scared to.”
“Why? It’s not like you’re pregnant by a bum or something. I’m sure if you was, Joker would make a great father. Look what he did for Brave, and he ain’t even his.”
Fiddling with my fingers, I replied, “Maybe I’ll take one just to see. I don’t feel pregnant or nothing.”
“That don’t mean shit. We can run into Target and grab one since we’re already out here. Come on.”
She took the three candles she had up to the counter. “Hey, Kris,” the cashier said. Damn shame. She really be in this store that much.
“Hey, girl.” She grabbed her wallet out her purse and pulled out her credit card. After swiping her card, the cashier handed her the receipt and her bag. “Thank you,” she said and headed for the exit.
We got outside and I unlocked my car. My heart skipped beats in my chest as my mind drifted back to the thought of being pregnant. For so long, it’d just been me and Brave. My child was eight. That’s a huge age gap.
I pulled into Target’s parking lot and parked. Kris wasted no time getting out the car, as if she was going in there for herself. Knowing her, she was probably excited at the possibility of me being pregnant, while I was terrified. Having another child was a huge step, especially in a new relationship. Joker may have seemed perfect now, but that didn’t mean he’d be perfect once a child came into the world. I’d witnessed it too many times, mainly out there in Ridgeview.
Men would seem so perfect, and then the moment the girl got knocked up, boom… he was a deadbeat. Everyone loves screaming that women needed to pick better when it came to the men that they had children with, but you can’t fault them if that man wore a mask and it fell once the child was here. They were weird.
“Halo?” Kris called out my name, bringing me back to reality.
“Huh?” I looked over and she was completely out the car with her purse on her shoulder.
“You were zoned out. You straight?”
“Yeah,” I lied and hopped out the car.
We entered the store, and I didn’t even bother to grab a cart. I was coming in here for one thing and one thing only. It never failed. Every time I came into a store, I came back out with more than I was supposed to get. Not this time.
A woman strolled past us with her newborn in its seat inside the cart. The thought that this could be my life in a few months was insane.
We stopped on the feminine aisle and Kris picked up a test. “This should be fine,” she said and turned to me.
“Guess so.” I took it from her grip and went back to the front of the store. Instead of standing in line for a cashier, I went through self-checkout. I didn’t want whoever the cashier was to be judging me.
Swiping the test, I dropped it into my bag and swiped the card. I didn’t even bother to stick around for the receipt to come out.
We got back into the car and went to her house. When I pulled into the driveway, I sat there and took a deep breath. My hands became clammy. I wiped them on my thighs and opened the door.
“I promise you’re just stressing over nothing,” Kris said and got out the car.
I followed suit, grabbed my things off the back seat, and locked the doors. We went into the house and I didn’t stop ’til I got to the bathroom. I ripped the box open and pulled one of the tests out. Pushing my pants and panties down, I sat on the toilet. I placed the test in between my thighs and peed on the stick. Covering it with the cap, I rested it on the counter.
Getting up, I washed my hands and exited the bathroom. Kris was in her bedroom, putting her new candles into the closet with the rest of them. “I know I wouldn’t ever have to buy a candle long as you’re around.”
“Don’t hate on me because I like to keep my house smelling good. What did the test say?”
“It hasn’t popped up yet. I’ma go back and check it in a minute.”
“Gone give me a mini Barbie doll,” she said as I took a seat on the edge of the bed.
“If I am pregnant, that doesn’t mean that I’ll have a girl. It could be another boy.”
“If it is, God just playing in yo’ face.” When I found out I was pregnant with Brave, I wanted it to be a girl so bad. I had so many girl names picked out. It was hard trying to figure out a name for him. Once I found out that I was having a boy, my feelings were hurt, but I quickly got over it. The only thing that really mattered was that my baby made it into the world healthy.
Getting up from the bed, I went into the bathroom and grabbed the test off the counter. “What does it say?” Kris asked from behind me, and I jumped.
“Got damn. Can you make some noise when walking up on people?” I asked and turned to face her. I lifted the test in her direction, and her mouth fell agape. “Oh my God, Halo!” she squealed and pulled me in for an embrace. “I’m telling you now, this yo’ girl. Just watch and see.”
“I have to tell Joker.”
“Are you going to call and tell him now?”
“I think this is something that should be discussed face to face.” Slipping the test into my pocket, I went into the living room. Removing my phone from my purse, I dialed Joker’s name and waited ’til the phone connected.
“Wassup, bae?” his voice came through the line.
“We need to talk. Where are you?”
“Normally, when people want to talk, it’s not a good thing.”
“It depends on how you see it. Are you going to tell me where you are?”
“I was out right now, but I can come to you if you want me to.”
“I’m at Kris’s house. I’ll meet you at the house.”
“Okay.” The call ended and I put my phone back into my purse.
Kris walked into the living room with a bowl of popcorn and flopped on the couch.
“I’m about to go meet Joker at the house. I’ll let you know how this goes.”
“Alright,” she responded, and I opened the door and left out.
When I made it home, Ma was in her room taking a nap. I didn’t even bother her. She’d be tired a lot and whenever I found her resting somewhere, I let her be. It would’ve been nice to talk to her before Joker made it here, but I’d do that whenever she decided to get up.
Stepping away from her bedroom door, I went back to the living room. I heard a car pull up outside and my heart dropped to the depths of my stomach. I didn’t even have to look out the window to know that it was Joker. I paced the floor, waiting for him to make it to the door. The lock clicked and the doorknob turned. My heartbeat leaped in my throat. He pushed the door in and halted like a deer caught in headlights. In his other hand was duct tape and rope.
“What are you about to do with that?” I questioned him.
He politely entered the house, shut the door behind him, rested it on the coffee table, and took a seat on the sofa. “What you wanted to talk about?”
Sensing that he wasn’t about to answer my question, I said, “Anyways, I called you over here to talk about this,” and pulled the test out my back pocket.
“Is that a pregnancy test?”
“Yeah, and it’s positive.”
“Don’t be fucking playing with me, Halo.”
“I’m not playing. See.” I reached across the coffee table and handed him the test.
He stared at it for a moment and said, “Let me call and tell Dough to cancel the van.”
“What are you talking about?” My brows snapped together.
He reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, pressed a button, and then placed it to his ear. Seconds later, he said, “False alarm.”
Removing the phone from his ear, he tossed it onto the couch. “You’re acting weird. Where do we go from here? We never discussed children.”
“What you mean? We’re going down the aisle. I just got a few things I need to get in order first.”
“So you’re not mad or anything?”
Reaching his hand out in my direction, he waited ’til my hand fell in it and pulled me around the table to him. I slipped onto his lap and eyed him.
“Why would I be mad? You’re a great mother. I know you’ll be an even better one to our child. I wouldn’t rather have a baby with anyone else.” Hooking my chin, he pressed his lips firmly against mine.
“That’s about the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you.”
His phone rang and he pulled it from his pocket. Staring at the screen, he said, “I gotta go handle something. I’ll be back later.” I poked out my lower lip, not even wanting him to leave.
“Okay.”
I got up from his lap and he rose to his feet. Gripping me by the ass, he pulled me into him and planted a kiss on my lips.
I stood there as he strolled out the door. Once he was gone, I went into Brave’s room to talk to him. I’m not sure if he fully understood what was going on with me and Joker, but I wanted him to know that there was another child coming into our home and see how he felt about that. I knew there were a lot of children who were used to being the only child and didn’t want siblings. Hopefully, that wasn’t the case for him.
Stopping in his doorway, I saw him sitting in the center of his bed with a book in his hand. It frustrated me how other kids were picking on him at school. Brave was one of the sweetest children I ever knew, and I wasn’t just saying that because he belonged to me. He was smart and talented on the football field. He went above and beyond for other people. I’d never understand how other people could be so cruel just because he had less than them.
“Hey,” I softly spoke, gaining his attention.
“Hey.” He closed his book and rested it on the bed alongside him. I strolled into the room and took a seat on the side of the bed.
“I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Okay.”
“How do you feel about Knox?”
“He’s cool.”
“You know Knox and I have been…” I was trying to figure out the best way to word this. “Together.”
“He’s your boyfriend.”
I snickered. “Yes. Well, Knox and I are about to have a baby. How do you feel about having a little brother or sister?”
His eyes lit up. “Are you serious! I’ve always wanted a sibling.”
“How come you never mentioned it?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“I just wanted to make sure that you were fine with it. I don’t want to put too much on you. I know Knox has been hanging around a lot lately.”
“I like having him around.”
“Good. I don’t think he’s going anywhere anytime soon.”
“Cool.”
My phone buzzed. I pulled it out my pants pocket and stared at the screen. Jah. I’m not even sure the last time I saw him. It was surprising to see his number pop up on my phone. Swiping the screen, I opened the thread.
Jah: Meet me at Oak Park.
Me: I don’t think that’s appropriate Jah.
“Let me go put this load of laundry in the washing machine,” I told Brave as I got up from the bed. I pecked him on the center of the forehead and left out the room. Soon as my feet touched the hallway, my phone buzzed again.
Jah: Lisa, I’m serious. Meet me there in an hour.
Standing in the center of the hallway, I stared at the message, debating on what I was going to do. I didn’t think it was appropriate to be going around him, especially since I was in a relationship with Joker now. Jah had long disappeared on me. He didn’t check on us after my apartment got broken into or nothing but called himself my friend.
Me: Fine.
Spinning on my heels, I went to see if my mama had got up. She was still asleep, so I went into my bedroom and wrote on a sticky note, Hey, I have to go run a quick errand. I shouldn’t be gone too long. Call me if you need me. I left Brave here with you. And placed it on the pillow next to her head.
Exiting the house, I climbed into my car and backed out the driveway. I nibbled on my thumbnail as I zoomed in and out of traffic to make it to the park. Something in me told me that I should’ve reached out to Joker to let him know that I was about to meet Jah, but I felt like that conversation wasn’t going to play out too well.
When I pulled into the gate of the park, my eyes scanned in search of Jah’s car. I remembered the last time that I saw him driving a Range Rover. I spotted one parked and pulled up behind it. Getting out my car, I approached the passenger side and stopped to see if it was him.
“Why you got me meeting you at the park?” I asked him through the window and pulled the door open.
“You look good.” He licked his lips as he eyed me.
“I know you didn’t just call me down here to tell me that I look good.”
“I didn’t.”
“So what is it?”
I turned in my seat, giving him my undivided attention. I can’t lie, Jah looked good sitting there. Him having money suited him.
“I just don’t understand how you can turn me down, someone that you’ve been knowing for years, for someone who you barely know.”
“Really? You called me here because of Joker? I do know him.”
“You think you know him.”
“Okay, you’re really starting to piss me off. What are you getting at here?”
“You do know that Joker is heavy in the streets, right?”
“You’re lying. You’ll tell me anything to get me to yourself.”
“I wish I was lying. I didn’t want to see your face like this.” He pointed at me. Tears welled up in my eyes because I didn’t want to believe what he was saying was true. “Joker is the biggest drug dealer in the city.”
“I don’t believe it and I’m not about to sit here and listen to this,” I said and pushed the door open. “You’re just a liar.”
“Fine, don’t believe me, but tell me this. Have you ever thought about where he be disappearing to? How he got that much money? Why he’s always carrying a gun?” Everything he was saying was clicking in my head. I slammed the door shut and stormed back to my car with watery eyes.