Chapter One #3
“So when that professor raped you, you went back to when your father died,” Reid says. “And you blamed yourself.”
“I did for a while. Not so much anymore. If he hadn’t been inside of me, maybe he wouldn’t have died. Either way, it was beyond my control,” I say.
“I’m glad you can make sense of that,” Reid says. “When was the last time you self-harmed?”
“The first couple of weeks after the attempt, I repeatedly kept hurting my stitches trying to open them, but once I stopped doing that, I haven’t since.”
“When was the last time you wanted to?” Thane asks.
“Every day,” I admit. “I don’t want to die… Just… The world gets so suffocating, and it makes me numb. That’s the only time I’m not numb, and I can actually control it. I don’t think I meant to try to die, but then the peace was… I want to find that peace in other places than under a blade.”
“And that is where I think impact play will help,” Thane says. “I do need you to answer, though. What is your comfort level with penetration?”
“Are you asking if you can fuck me?” I ask, and he smirks. “I am fine with it, but I don’t want to be in pain because I can’t get aroused. If you can change that, I am okay with whatever.”
“If that changes and you want to revoke consent, what then?”
“I tell you to get the fuck off me?” I suggest.
“You use your safeword,” Thane says. “Red is a full and immediate stop. Yellow means you need to talk or just need a moment in general. Green means you are good to go.”
“Okay,” I say simply.
“We will have rooms that have adjoining doors. I require this door to stay open at all times. We can go over my expectations once you are settled, but that is the basic setup,” Thane says.
“Okay,” I say again.
“Understand that you are subject to punishment. I will be the only one to ever enforce a punishment. Others can suggest, but I have the final say,” Thane tells me.
“What are the punishments?”
“They are subject to change, depending on what has happened. It can be writing sentences, a simple time-out, a spanking, forced repeated orgasms, or throat training. It really just depends. I treat punishments as a way to make you evaluate your current state of mind rather than just making you uncomfortable. I like to focus more on reward, though. That can be anything you want, obviously within reason.”
“What if I get attached to you?” I ask. “You have been here and will obviously move on and go therapy-fuck someone else, but what happens if I get attached?”
“I expect you to be open and honest with me. We will check in often so we can both address these things. You have the right to request a new trainer, but the six weeks will start over with a new trainer,” Thane tells me.
“That isn’t a punishment, but a way to ensure you reach your full potential.
You can’t do that if you are being thrown around. ”
“So your subtype is a brat submissive,” Reid says. “You show a connection with some dynamics like having a daddy dom, total power exchange, and others. You lean toward being an alpha brat, but I think that is more so just your triggers that you’ll need to navigate over time.”
“What is a brat?” I ask.
“It is a submissive that struggles to trust. You push back and lash out when you don’t feel stable.
You need someone to push back and match your energy in order for you to feel stable.
An ideal dominant will be someone who can push you but knows when to bend and give you space to breathe.
You will never offer blind obedience, but an ideal dom for you won’t want blind obedience.
He will want you to challenge him to find your own stability. ”
“What now?” I ask. Reid hands me his clipboard, and I see that it’s a contract.
“This contract is giving your consent to participate and engage in all activities we’ve discussed. It is a reminder that you have safe words and the right to revoke consent at any time. Read through it and, if you wish to proceed, sign it,” Reid says.
I glance over the document to verify what he said, and it’s detailed. This can’t be any worse than the involuntary placement, so I sign my name at the bottom. I hand it back to Reid, and he signs before handing it to Thane. When he signs, Reid looks at Thane as though he is thinking.
“Yes?” Thane asks.
“Before you came in, she got triggered and lashed out by shoving me,” Reid says.
“Come lie across my lap, Ayla,” Thane says.
“No,” I scoff, but yelp when he grabs my hand and pulls me toward him. All at once, he gets me over his lap with my dress slacks pushed down my thighs. “Wait!”
I gasp when he smacks my ass hard. He pauses before he does it four more times in rapid succession. “You do not put your hands on someone out of anger or even fear,” Thane scolds. “We use our words, or we walk away. Do you understand, Ayla?”
“Yes,” I choke out.
“Yes, Sir,” he corrects, smacking my ass again.
“Yes, Sir!” I say louder.
“Good girl,” Thane praises, rubbing my burning ass.
Hell, a girl like me could get used to this, but can Thane really be the one to tame me?