Chapter Fifteen
Redford knocked on Carmen’s bedroom door and then took a deep breath before slowly exhaling.
“Come in.”
He entered and his gaze immediately went to her. Instead of being in bed, she was sitting on the love seat with her laptop and studying whatever was on the screen. She didn’t even glance up at him.
The brightness from the light in the ceiling seemed to highlight her radiant features. He could imagine having a daughter who looked just like her.
She was wearing a different gown from the one she’d had on earlier. This one had a matching robe. He recalled she had mentioned when he’d brought her dinner that she would shower and go to bed early. Obviously, she had changed her mind about sleep and was on her laptop.
“I just wanted to see if you need anything else before I retire for the night.”
She glanced over at him and smiled. “No, but you might want to key your phone number into my phone. That’s how Leslie and I communicated with each other. It’s over there on the nightstand. The passcode is my birthday.”
He looked at her when he picked up the cell phone. “When is your birthday?”
“August the twenty-first.”
“That’s next month.”
“Yes, and I’m hoping my health improves since Chandra and her family will be back from South Africa by then.”
“Have you told your sister or parents that you’re pregnant?” he asked, glancing over at her while adding his phone number to her contacts.
“No. My parents will be happy to have another grandchild, and my sister would love a niece or nephew.”
He nodded. “Any reason you’ve put off telling them?” He happened to notice on her phone, when the call list popped up, that she talked to them daily.
She crinkled her nose and her brow furrowed before she said, “Yes, there is definitely a reason. There’s no way I could tell them about my pregnancy without mentioning how sick I am. Chandra would shorten her trip and come home immediately if she knew. And my parents would come, too. The last thing I need is to have all of them here making me feel helpless. I’m hoping by the time I tell them I’ll be back to my old self. Have you told your parents?” she asked him.
He placed her phone back down on the nightstand and eased into the chair beside her bed. He saw she had closed her laptop so he figured she was finished with it for tonight. “No, I haven’t told them for basically the same reason you haven’t told yours. This will be their first grandchild. A grandchild they never thought they would have.”
He shook his head and chuckled. “It would not have mattered if your pregnancy had been smooth sailing the entire nine months. My mother would have shown up on your doorstep anyway. Just to get to know you, the future mother of her grandchild. Trust me, you would never have gotten rid of Lorelei St. James.”
He watched her smile spread and couldn’t help thinking for the umpteenth time just how kissable her lips looked. “What about your father?”
He chuckled again. “Dad would have waited for an official invitation. But not Mom.”
“I have a feeling I’m really going to like her.”
He had a feeling his mother would like Carmen as well. Already he knew there would be problems. He didn’t know about her parents but he knew his would expect them to marry, which wouldn’t be happening. “How will your parents handle the fact that we won’t be getting married, Carmen?”
“They will handle it just fine. They stopped meddling in my and Chandra’s lives when we left home for college. That’s the one thing I’ve always appreciated about them. Besides, I will assure them I will be married when I have my second child.”
Why was tension suddenly building in his body? There was no way he could be jealous of the thought of her marrying one day. Any man would appreciate a woman like her. Even him, if he was the marrying kind. But he wasn’t. He figured the tension was the result of thinking that the man she would marry might assume that his child would be more important in their family dynamics than hers and Redford’s.
All it took was for him to recall David Lattimer, a guy who went to college with him, Sloan and Tyler. David lived across the hall in their dorm and when they noticed he never went home during the holidays or school breaks, they’d inquired why. That’s when he’d told them all the horror stories of the torment he’d endured with a stepfather while growing up.
Redford refused to let his child go through such a thing. He would demand custody of him or her before anything like that happened. There was no need to get Carmen upset by telling her that now. Besides, for all he knew, the guy she eventually married might be swell. If Redford thought that, then why was even more tension building inside of him?
“Can I get you anything before I leave, Carmen?”
Hadn’t he asked her that already? Why was he asking again? And why had he suddenly become aware of her outfit when she stood? Because she’d been sitting down, he hadn’t realized just how short the nightgown and robe were. The hem fell halfway down her thighs. The yellow silk robe seemed to hug every curve on her body and the color seemed to make her skin glow.
He wanted to call himself all kinds of names when lust invaded his thoughts. His gaze roamed all over her, and it took every ounce of willpower he could muster to hold back the desire permeating his body. Why did her legs look so sleek? The fit of the top of the gown did a good job exposing the shape of her breasts. She definitely looked too sexy for his peace of mind.
“No, there’s nothing else I need,” she said, padding over to the bed. He watched as she threw back the covers, and then, ignoring his presence, untied her robe and shrugged it off her shoulders to place at the foot of her bed. Then she eased into the bed. It suddenly occurred to him that this was the first time he’d seen a woman get into a bed without him.
When she was beneath the covers, she shifted to what he knew was her favorite position. Then she raised her head from the pillow to glance over at him. “Is something wrong?”
“What makes you think that?”
She gave him one of those “duh” looks before saying, “You’re just standing there staring at me.”
“Oh, sorry. I guess I was thinking that you don’t look pregnant.” That hadn’t been what he’d been thinking; however, at the moment, that was the best answer he could come up with.
A smile touched her lips. She wouldn’t smile so often if she knew what it did to him. “It’s early yet. The baby is still small. No larger than a lemon at this point.”
He chuckled. “Hard to believe something that small could cause so much trouble.”
She chuckled as well. “Like I told you, I’m going to have a lot to tell our child when he or she gets older.”
He nodded. “I’ll let you get some rest now. Good night, Carmen.”
He was headed toward the door when she called out to him. “Redford?”
He turned around. “Yes?”
“Could you close the curtains? I prefer not looking at the stars.”
He paused to consider what she’d just said. He couldn’t help but recall the night she’d not only looked at the stars but had also made a wish upon them. So had he. He also remembered her telling him how much she enjoyed staring at them while in bed. Was what happened the night they spent together the reason she preferred not looking at the stars now?
“Why not? It’s a beautiful night,” he decided to say.
She glanced out the window and then looked back at him. That’s when he saw the pain in her eyes thanks to the moonlight peeking through that same window. Her voice was almost a whisper, “Like I said, I prefer not looking at them.”
In a way, he had his answer. Crossing the room, he closed the curtains, bringing the room into total darkness. He moved to leave the room again as she said, “Thanks.”
He didn’t deserve her thanks because he now knew that, although not intentionally, he had hurt her. Both Sloan and Leslie had told him he had. Now he saw it for himself and his heart ached.
“Honestly, Leslie, you’ve only been gone two days and you’re not giving me a moment’s rest,” Carmen said with a chuckle in her voice.
Yesterday her best friend had called around five times and from the look of it, she would beat that number today. “If you keep it up, Redford will assume you don’t trust him to take care of me.”
“Is he taking care of you?”
She paused in nibbling on the dry cereal she liked eating as a snack during the day. For some reason, it was a good feeling knowing she was being cared for by the father of her child. He might not love her, but he was doing his best to take care of them.
He prepared a delicious breakfast for her every morning, fixed a tasty sandwich for her at lunch, and then at dinner he always surprised her with some nutritious meal. She still loved his soups the best, but he’d even taken a shot at baking and prepared brownies for her last night when she’d said she had a sweet tooth.
She knew letting him stay here could result in emotional pain, but she liked knowing he was sleeping in the guest room beneath hers. Last night, he’d listened to her complain that she would be missing her pedicure appointment, so he’d seen her vain side. However, he hadn’t seemed to mind. While she ate dinner, he’d been on his laptop. She figured he was researching something but hadn’t bothered to ask what.
“Carmen, if you have to think about an answer, then that concerns me.”
She had not intended to stay quiet for so long. A concerned Leslie could become a worrywart, and that’s the last thing she wanted. “No reason for concern, Leslie. Yes, Redford is taking good care of me and our little bun.”
However, what she wouldn’t tell Leslie was that sickness or no sickness, her hormones were kicking whenever he was around, which was all the time. The only reason he wasn’t in the room with her now was because he’d wanted to give her and Leslie privacy.
He had come in after her lunch and nap to make sure she was on schedule with her medication. Then he had remained to watch a movie with her. Not once had he complained that it was a chick flick.
She thrown up three times today and no longer felt embarrassed that he saw her in such a way, and afterward he was always ready to assist her. The last time, she had finished brushing her teeth while standing at the vanity and happened to glance at the mirror while rinsing out her mouth. He’d been watching her. His brow had been furrowed in deep concentration and worry. When their gazes connected, she had felt hot all over. She’d broken eye contact with him to soak a face cloth in cool water for her face. He had come to her, covered her hand with his and said in a husky voice, “Here, let me do that.”
She should not have been surprised at how painstakingly gentle he was. And when he had pulled her tenderly against him, she sighed into his chest while he held her close, telling her everything would be alright. Then, as if it had been the most natural thing for him to do, he had kissed her on the forehead. She was convinced she could still feel the warmth of that kiss on her skin.
“Well, if you’re sure you are in good hands, Carmen...”
She of all people knew just how good Redford’s hands were. “I’m sure,” she said, bringing her thoughts back to the present. “Letting him stay here with me was a good decision. He’s been telling me a lot about his family’s history. That’s good to know so I can pass it on to our child.”
She and Leslie talked a little while longer before they ended their call. Whatever Redford was cooking smelled good. The aroma seeped into her bedroom without upsetting her stomach. She was glad of that. The visiting nurse had assured her that although she still threw up a lot, her condition hadn’t gotten worse.
Carmen eased up in bed when she heard the knock on the door. “Come in.”
The bedroom door opened and there he stood. Handsome as ever. Bigger than life. Sexier than any man should be. And then her heart pounded when the corners of Redford’s mouth lifted in a smile. If she wasn’t careful, that same smile would be her undoing.
“How do you feel, Carmen?”
There was something about how he said her name. He had an accent, sort of Midwestern. However, there was a noticeable difference whenever he or any of the Outlaws spoke. She thought their speech articulation was rather unique and she loved the sound of it.
“I feel fine.”
He came into the room and slid into the chair by her bed. “Do you think that maybe your appointment with the doctor should be at her office instead of one of those laptop visits?”
She heard the concern in his voice and knew why. Yesterday hadn’t been a good day for her. She’d been sick so many times. “I’ll tell her about yesterday. If she wants to see me then I’ll go in.”
“And I’ll take you.”
“Thanks.” She appreciated his offer. “The nurse said I’m holding my weight. I haven’t lost any, thank goodness. In fact, I’ve gained a couple of pounds.”
“I can’t tell. Your stomach is still flat.”
She wondered how he figured that. When had he seen her stomach? She then remembered that while throwing up profusely yesterday, he’d been on the bathroom floor beside her not only stroking her back but also gently rubbing her stomach.
“Whatever you’re cooking smells good.”
“It’s a lemon pasta dish I came across.”
“In your research,” she asked, unable to fight back a smile.
He chuckled. “Yes, in my research. Are you ready for dinner?”
“Yes, I’m ready.”
“I’ll be back in a minute.”
When he left, she released a deep sigh, wishing there was some way to avoid such a potent attraction to him whenever they were in the same room.
Easing out of bed, she moved to the love seat and the table. Although she had researched it, there wasn’t much advice on how to stop loving a man who didn’t love you. At this point she didn’t care. She loved Redford, and maybe one day he would realize she was a woman who could heal his broken heart.