Chapter Twenty-One
The following weeks seemed to fly by. Carmen’s morning sickness wasn’t as severe as it had been. During her most recent doctor’s visit, she was told her body was showing increased signs of improvement and there was a chance the nausea would be gone altogether in another week or two.
It was.
Carmen knew that meant it was only a matter of time until Redford would be leaving. Her next appointment with the doctor was on Friday, and she saw no reason why the doctor would not give her a clean bill of health and tell them her pregnancy was no longer at risk.
She figured Redford thought the same thing. Just that morning she had overheard him communicating with his management team that chances were, he would be returning to the office within a week. She wanted to believe he hadn’t sounded all that excited about leaving, but a part of her knew she’d probably just imagined it.
They still shared a bed every night and woke up in each other’s arms every morning. She’d tried not to get used to having him there, but he had become a monumental part of her life. There was no doubt in her mind she would miss him something fierce when he was gone. The time she had spent with Redford, and the way he had taken such good care of her, was something she would forever appreciate and something she would never forget.
She had gotten to know him as someone other than the father of her baby. He was a person she could talk to about anything, and he was someone who was full of information on any given topic. For those topics he wasn’t sure about, he wasted no time in doing the research. In addition to enjoying their conversations, she looked forward to the times they lay cuddled up together watching movies.
Over the past month they had formed a special relationship, and the thought that it would soon end made her heart ache. She knew the only way to prepare for his departure was to start withdrawing. That way the pain of him leaving wouldn’t cut so deep.
That resolution was on her mind later that night while she lay in his arms after they’d made love. Having him in bed with her whenever the sexual need struck definitely had its benefits. There was never a time he didn’t pleasure her immensely. He’d been her first, and she was certain he had ruined her for any other man. In a way, that wasn’t good.
But still, she couldn’t regret the time they had spent together. Her only regret was in knowing their days together were numbered and it was time to start protecting her heart. Redford didn’t love her; he would never love her. That was a reality it was time for her to accept, no matter how good things were between them now.
Redford awoke with a start. Glancing over at Carmen, he saw she was still sleeping snugly in his arms with their limbs entwined. Recently, he’d begun noticing changes in her, and it was more than the little pudge he saw in her stomach or how her nipples had gotten darker. He’d also noticed she had begun withdrawing from him.
He had detected it a few nights ago. Although they still made love with abandon, with a yearning and intensity that took his breath away, he could tell their relationship was changing. He couldn’t help wondering if now that she felt better that meant she was ready for him to leave.
Honestly, there wasn’t a reason to hang around any longer since her doctor had stated during her last visit that she was out of danger. From here on out, all signs indicated she should have a rather normal pregnancy. Of course, they’d been glad to hear that, but he’d gotten used to taking care of her, of being here with her.
He’d contacted his office one morning to tell them he would be back in a week and before that day had ended he’d called them back and told them to disregard his earlier call. He wasn’t sure exactly when he’d be back, mainly because he wasn’t ready to leave.
If anyone had told him weeks ago that he would have this frame of mind, he would not have believed them. The past weeks with Carmen had meant everything to him, and thanks to her he’d been able to face a lot about himself. He now realized that episode with Candy had affected him more than he’d known.
It had taken Carmen to show him that there were women who could be trusted completely. Women who didn’t have any deceitful bones in their bodies. Women worth risking his heart for.
So many had tried convincing him of that—Sloan, Tyler, his parents and others—but he had refused to believe them. It had taken Carmen’s pregnancy to show him another side of a relationship, other than a purely sexual one.
He now knew he had fallen in love with her. Although he wasn’t sure exactly when it happened, it had happened. However, thanks to his earlier actions of treating her like all those other women he’d been involved with, she would never love him again. He felt a painful ache in the pit of his stomach in accepting that.
At least he had his memories of the days they would wake up together, shower together, go walking together, prepare meals together and go to bed together. The one thing they hadn’t talked about was raising their child together as a unified family. Where they lived in the same house in a loving and committed relationship. Namely, marriage.
Maybe it was time they talked about that possibility, because he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he adored her. Every part of her that she had shared with him over the past month or so. He had fallen in love with her and had fallen hard.
She had been right from the beginning. They were soulmates, and it had taken her getting pregnant for him to accept that. He couldn’t imagine any other woman in his life. Carmen was the one woman he refused to live without. However, the big challenge would be convincing her of that.
He would make his first attempt to do so tonight when they made love.
Carmen glanced up when Redford entered her bedroom. Tonight, he had surprised her with a candlelight dinner. It had been beautiful and romantic; however, she would have appreciated his efforts a lot more if she hadn’t known it was his way of letting her know he was leaving. She could barely enjoy the delicious dinner he had prepared because she was waiting for him to tell her he was going back to Alaska. But he hadn’t told her at dinner, so she could only assume he had decided to tell her later...which was now.
She watched him lean against the closed door staring at her. Her heart began pounding when he pulled off his shirt and tossed it in the chair and then proceeded to slip out of his jeans and briefs.
Carmen wondered if he intended to make love to her first before breaking the news he was leaving. There was no reason to think he would not return every once in a while to check on her and the baby, but still. She had gotten used to the time they’d spent together and had hoped...
What? That a man who’d stated more times than she could count that he would never fall in love with a woman would miraculously change his mind and do so? Why had she been kidding herself when she had vowed not to? Her only excuse was that things had been so good between them lately, and he’d honestly seemed to enjoy being here. But then, in the end, she had to face the fact that it had only been about the baby and the sex.
He strolled across the room to her. “I don’t know why you bothered to put this on,” he said, clasping the hem of her short night gown, removing it and tossing it across the room to join his clothes in the chair.
She no longer wore her hair braided and he glided his hands through it. “You’re beautiful, do you know that?”
Forcing a smile to her lips, she said, “Only because you tell me.” And he did so, often.
He smiled and then captured her mouth with his. She wanted this kiss; she needed this kiss. She would add it to all the other memories stored in her brain of the kisses and lovemaking they’d shared.
When he began walking her toward the bed, she decided to be the one in control tonight. When he tried easing her down on the bed, she shifted her body and eased him down on his back instead. His features showed his surprise seconds before she positioned her body over his. Widening her legs, she lowered her body to his erection, moaning when he assisted by lifting his hips off the bed for deeper penetration.
He was so powerfully male, and the feel of him embedded deep inside made her body begin to shiver. He gripped her hips when she began moving up and down, while he lifted his body to make each thrust even deeper.
“More, Carmen. More.”
His guttural plea got to her, made her give him just what he wanted. More. Clutching his sides with her knees, she began riding him the way she’d learned to ride a horse years ago. She established a rhythm and he fell right in sync.
Over and over, she thrust down and he thrust up, and when she began flexing her inner muscles as if to drain everything out of him, he pulled her mouth down to his and took it with a hunger that made her moan again. Breaking off the kiss, she threw her head back as she continued to ride him to her heart’s content. Making memories she would need when he left.
Suddenly, everything inside her exploded, seeming to rip her in two, and she noticed the same thing happening to him. They always came together and never knew when to stop.
“Carmen!”
“Redford!”
They screamed each other’s names as orgasms ripped through them. Seemingly nonstop. And she knew that no matter what tomorrow brought for them, she would always have memories of tonight.