CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
COLT
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An hour later, Riley walks out of the bathroom, despite my efforts for the past hour to get her to open the door.
She looks like a robot.
I watch her walk into the kitchen area, head to the fridge, open it up and take out the milk. She pours a small glass, stands at the sink and sips it. Then she makes a sandwich and cuts it into tiny, bite-sized pieces.
I sit at the table, not saying anything, giving her space.
Washing her hands, she dries them on a towel and walks around the counter. Then, and only then, do her eyes meet mine.
“I’m going to a hotel. There are no earlier flights, so my original return ticket in the morning is the soonest I can go home.”
I can see she has more to say, so I wait.
I’m not letting her leave, but I’ll let her get it out of her system.
However, it feels like I have a dumbbell in my stomach. A huge lead weight.
“My bank returned the remaining funds to your account. It might not show for a few hours, so I wanted you to know that.” Riley’s voice was cold and dead.
“You didn’t need to do that.”
“I don’t want it. I also don’t want your explanation, so don’t waste your breath. Your actions have told me exactly who you are, Colt Winters.”
Ouch.
That hurts more than anything else she could have said. I deserve all of it.
“I’ll Uber to my hotel so you can...do whatever, I guess. Carry on with your life. Get ready to meet your wife.”
Fuck.
I can’t stand this. I can’t stand the pain I see on her face.
As I climb to my feet, Riley holds up a hand. I freeze, but only because I don’t want to upset her further.
“Let me save you a whole lot of words, because this is over. I should never have come.”
That’s bullshit.
That’s fucking bullshit.
I grind my teeth and consider my next move. I can’t lie and say I’m not doing the show because that contract is locked in.
Neither of us has discussed this turning into a relationship. It was a week of delicious sex and enjoying one another. We agreed to that.
In hindsight, not telling her about The Final Rose was a mistake.
“I should have told you. Given you the choice when you were flying over.”
“Jesus, Colt.”
“What?”
“Do you not get it at all? Even this woman,” her throat hitches. “That you marry would be unhappy to know just days before the show you were hunkered down with a girl having wild sex.”
I wouldn’t call it wild.
It was erotic and amazing, but I’ve seen some wild things in my time.
This is not the moment to bring that up.
“What either of us do before...Riley, I don’t want to talk about it. I’m...”
I nearly said I wasn’t doing the show.
That’s a lie.
I can’t lie to her anymore.
Nor do I have a right to ask anything of her. This isn’t her home or where she wants to be. And now, clearly, she can’t stand the sight of me either.
Which leaves me with a big goddamn hole in my chest.
I spot all her bags packed out in the hall.
After Zander left, I tried to get Riley to talk to me through the bathroom door. “I’m sorry, baby. It doesn’t take anything from us. From what we’ve shared. I have loved every minute of being with you.”
When she wouldn’t open the door, I paced the living room, wondering if I was making a huge mistake.
On paper, it makes sense. But life isn’t a fucking book, and Riley isn’t some character in a story.
She’s my story.
And if that’s true, I can’t lose her.
But the same brick wall appears before me when I consider how our lives can blend and if she would even want it.
Before I can think of how to approach that enormous, life-changing topic, her phone beeps. Tugging it out of her pocket, she gives me a sad smile. I feel her soul retreating and a coldness seep into the depth of mine.
No.
She starts to walk backwards, her anger retreating and emotion finally showing itself.
“Riley, wait.”
She shakes her head, stopping in the doorway. “No, Colt. This is goodbye.” A tear slides down her face, and she angrily wipes it away.
No, no, no.
I can’t let her go. I start to close the gap, and she holds up another hand.
“Colt, stop. You’ve ruined my life enough.”
Whoa.
“Hey, I realize you’re upset, but let’s talk about this. I haven’t touched another woman, and if you think—”
Riley tosses a little white stick my way. I catch it and stare at the two pink lines which shatter my reality into a million pieces.
“I’m pregnant,” she whispers angrily, and I blanch at her tone.
My world tips on its axis.
Pregnant.
I can’t move. I can’t speak.
With my mouth gaping, I watch Riley collect her bags and step into the open elevator. Turning, she punches the button, looks me dead in the eye, and adds, “Which I’ll deal with when I get home to Australia. Goodbye, Colt Winters.”
The doors close.
And Riley Scott disappears from my life.
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SEBASTIAN, MASON, DREW and Zander find me at the Obsidian Club five hours later drunk as a skunk.
Drew sits down beside me and drinks quietly while I’m directing two beautiful women in leather lingerie—and I use that term loosely—to do my bidding.
“Bend over and show me your puss.” I chuckle.
Sebastian lifts a brow from across the room, where he’s sipping a glass of water and watching me like I’m a complete failure.
Maybe I am.
Riley thinks so.
“Ignore him, ladies, he’s getting married. Boringgggg. Alexander might give you his cock.” I laugh, grabbing my dick and tugging it.
“Colt.” Drew’s tone is calm and patient.
“Oh, oh, oh! Here, ladies. Drew has a trunk in his pants that needs servicing. He’s a finance tycoon. Lots of money. Suck him off for me.”
“Jesus, dude.” Drew grabs the bottle of Macallan out of my hand. “Lucky you own the fucking place.”
“Regardless, let’s get him out of here.” Mason takes my other arm, and my two friends lift me up.
“Him? Who is him? I’m here, you know.” I laugh, but the joke doesn’t make sense even to my drunk ears. Which annoys me, so I add, “I could have you two dicks kicked out.”
“I could have you locked up,” Zander-big-dick-Sterling threatens as he stands there with his stupid hands in his stupid pockets.
“Put those cuffs on me, big boy. Wait, you’re a lawyer, not a cop,” I snort.
“Jesus F. Christ.” Sebastian walks over and splashes his glass of water in my face.
What. The. Fuck.
I rip my arm free and brush my hair back, water flicking everywhere. My fist clenches, but I’m not that drunk. Hitting Sebastian would end up in an all-out brawl.
Tempting.
I feel like someone smacking me in the face. Riley would if she could. I deserve to feel the pain she does. The pain my kid will feel growing up without a father.
Ugh.
Motherfuckers! I came here to stop thinking, not be reminded of how much I’ve fucked up.
“Get them out of here!” I yell at my security.
The big goof crosses his arms and ignores me.
Unbelievable.
I’m firing him on Monday.
The women glance around, unsure what to do, while I glare at my friends. They are wealthy housewives who shouldn’t be here if I remember rightly. Which I don’t.
And I don’t care.
I didn’t touch them, but I was enjoying playing around and not thinking about a certain Australian until these dick faces showed up.
“Come on, buddy, let’s go get something greasy and sober you up.” Drew says.
“Why?” I narrow my eyes at him, wobble, and then curse. “Is Riley looking for me? Did she have our baby?”
I start laughing hysterically.
There’s dead silence.
“She’s pregnant?” Zander steps in front of me, his eyes wide.
I nod, wobble, curse again, and grab Drew. “Do you know how babies are made? By forgetting the fucking condom. That’s how.”
“That will do it, buddy.” Drew rubs the top of his head. “Where is she?”
“Gone.”
“You let her walk away even though she’s pregnant with your child,” Zander asks.
Yes, why do you think I’m fucking drunk?
That and I don’t know where she is, or how to find her before she, and I quote, takes care of the problem.
My child.
My goddamn baby.
The guys surround me, understanding the levity of the situation now.
“What are you going to do?” Sebastian looks me dead in the eye. “Because the Colt Winters I know doesn’t go on a game show to find a wife.” He glances behind him at the club full of options. “And he doesn’t forget to put on a rubber.”
That might be true.
Not anymore. Because the Colt he once knew hadn’t met Riley Scott, the pretty gardener from Melbourne. Whose sweet cunt feels incredible to be inside of bare back.
This Colt has.
And I wonder how much I knew what I was doing, but did it, anyway. Self-sabotage.
Maybe I never wanted to let her go?
Maybe we both did this on purpose.
Fuck, I don’t know.
All I know is that I don’t look at other women the same now. All these half-naked girls walking around and I am not interested. To me, they are part of the business. That’s all.
I want Riley.
Riley, who lives on the other side of the world and works in a garden. Who, fuck, hates me because I was a jerk and didn’t tell her I was going to be going on network television seeking a bride.
Why didn’t I tell her?
Perhaps I never really wanted to do it?
Did I want her all along?
Did I know I was falling in love with her and ignore my own feelings because I thought she didn’t want me?
Well, fate has come along and laughed his head off at both of us.
I’ll take care of this when I get home.
The fuck she will.
“It’s the only way to make sure there are no money grabbing Sandys.” I slur. “They vet them all. It’s better this way.”
True love was never on the cards for me. I have known that all my life. I don’t think my parents love one another. They’re best friends, but as far as affection goes, watching Mom at the awards ceremony recently was probably the most affection I’ve ever seen.
Why would I think I’d be different?
And look at what happened to Jack.
“For all we know, Emily might stab Sebastian in his sleep in a month,” I throw out.
Drew groans.
Zander scrubs a hand over his face while Mason curses.
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.” Sebastian’s gaze turns dark.
“Whatev’s. I’ve signed the agreement. It’s done. Riley has gone.”
“I’ll get you out of it.” Zander blows out a frustrated breath.
“The fee is—”
“Well within your budget,” Drew snaps. “Now, the mother of your child. Riley, do you like her?”
“He likes her.”
“Shut up, Zander.” I shove him and wobble. “You don’t know.”
“They’re in love.”
“Pftt, love. She doesn’t...”
My four best friends stand around me, looking like a bunch of goddamn gangsters, and lift brows as I begin to sober.
Fuck.
“She’s having my baby.”
Sebastian slides his hands into his pockets and nods. He’s going to be a father soon. A little boy or girl, a mini-Seb growing up with all of us as protective uncles.
Now, that could be me.
Holding a little kid’s hand, one that looks like me, having it gaze at me with unconditional love and trust.
My baby.
“Shit, shit, fuck,” I start searching for my jacket, my phone. “I don’t know where she is. She said she’d take care of it. My kid. She’s going to kill my son. My daughter. Fuck.”
Mason curses.
“Stop,” Drew puts a hand on my chest. “You need to decide what you are doing about The Final Rose, Colt. You can’t show up, even if we can find her, without facing how you feel about her and a firm decision on what you want for the future.”
“Drew is right.” Sebastian says. “Even if that is being a single father and having visitation.
Christ, how could I have fucked this up so badly?
I wish I’d stopped at one bottle so I could think straight now.
I need to find her.
That baby is mine. My flesh and blood.
I will fight for its life, even knowing Riley won’t ever forgive me. We may not know each other well, but I saw the hatred in her eyes. The opposite of the love I witnessed in the video.
Whatever possibility was there, is now gone.
She won’t ever trust me.
The best I can hope for is that she will go through with the pregnancy and have our child.
“Give me the word, and I’ll make it go away.” Zander says, meaning the agreement with the show.
I nod.
Zander lifts his phone to his ear and walks away.
He’ll have it done by this time tomorrow. Anyone who knows his reputation understands that it’s better to negotiate. That said, this is network TV, and it’s going to cost me.
Riley is worth it.
Sebastian slaps my back. “I have to get home to Emily.”
“Thanks, man...and hey I didn’t mean it. She probably won’t stab you.”
His lips twitch.
Mason and Drew lead me out to my car and driver. We hop in and someone tosses me a bottle of water.
“Shower, food, and then we find her.” Drew tugs out his ringing phone and answers it. “Carrington.”
“Any idea which hotel she checked into?” Mason asks while Drew is on his call.
I don’t.
Riley didn’t tell me on purpose. She didn’t want me going after her.
“Won’t be the Four Seasons. She returned the fucking money I gave her.”
“You gave her money?” He looks shocked.
I shrug. “Twenty or thirty k. She sent it back.”
“I like her. Sounds sassy.” Mason laughs.
“She’s beautiful.” I sigh, wishing I could turn back time and do a lot of things differently. “I love her, Mase.”
“Yeah, buddy. It’s pretty obvious. But I get it, love makes you dumb as fuck.” He stares into the distance. I’m too drunk to ask him about Lexi, but I will tomorrow.
Our attention turns to Drew, who seems to be having an argument.
“Well, Ms. Ford, I’m afraid that decision is not up to you. Obsidian Capital now owns your business,” he grinds out angrily. “So, unless you want to be in breach of the terms of our fucking contract, I will see your ass in my office on Monday morning.”
He hangs up, his jaw working overtime.
Interesting.
Clearly, whoever Ms. Ford is, she pushed his buttons. It takes a lot to ruffle Drew’s feathers. He manages high-risk takeovers and has a reputation for being ruthless.
Guess Ms. Ford just found that out.
Still, he looks fucking ruffled to me, and I want to hear this story.
Not tonight.
Tonight, I need to find the mother of my child.