CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
RILEY
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Tears roll down my face as I FaceTime Mom. She’s the last person I should be telling about how irresponsible I have been, but sometimes a girl just needs her mom.
“Are you sure?” she asks, looking shocked, which is to be expected when you’ve just learned your daughter is pregnant to someone on the other side of the world.
For some reason I’ve started holding my tummy. It seems stupid, given the baby is probably the size of a sesame seed.
I don’t even know.
I may never know.
“I did a test. It had two pink lines.” I sniff and wipe away the never-ending tears.
My skin in the corner of my eye is burning I’ve cried so much the past few hours. Hours since walking out on Colt.
God, I miss him
I also hate the jerk.
The Final Rose? How could he do that to me when we were together? I know we weren’t, but we also were.
It’s very confusing.
If he’d just been honest and given me the opportunity to decide if I wanted to be involved with him despite that, at least I could blame myself.
“The father. What did he say?” Mom asks.
I decide then and there not to tell her about the show. More for me than him. They’ll never meet, and I’m so ashamed at how na?ve I’ve been.
Still, how could I have known?
There were red flags, I guess. He never took me to meet any of his friends or show me his business. From the very beginning, it was just sex and fun.
Which was lovely.
It was exciting. Him flying to Melbourne, and the rooftop dinner under the stars. Bringing me to New York first class, surprising me with the garden in Central Park. Making love like it meant something. Kissing me on the sidewalk as he zipped up my silly, expensive coat.
All the while he was planning to go on national television and meet his future wife.
How did he think I would feel when I found out?
Colt didn’t think.
Obviously.
He just did what was right for him.
No wonder Sebastian paid little attention to me. Knowing his friend was going on the show, which I presume he did as those guys are close, he’d never consider I was important.
I wasn’t important.
Dumb, dumb, dumb.
“Um, he’s still in shock, like me. We are going to talk when I get home,” I reply to Mom. “But it’s not serious so don’t go leaping to any conclusions.”
Well, I’m not. But do you like him?” I watch her walk into another room for total privacy and hear the door click. “Because, darling, sometimes life nudges us down a path. I don’t know who this man is, but if he’s a good man, then perhaps you should both discuss things while you are there.”
That makes me cry even harder.
I thought Colt was a good man. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.
Now, no.
My head drops to my knees as I tuck up against the headboard of the three-star hotel bed.
I can’t keep this baby.
Can you imagine me being pregnant with Colt Winters' baby while he becomes the most talked about viral TV star in America for a few months?
That’s what happens.
And what would his wife think?
Oh god, I feel sick.
All this time he was planning to marry...start a life with someone...while I was tagging along like a lovesick puppy.
Yes, I did fall in love with him.
Except it was all a lie, so none of it is real. It will take some time for my heart to come up to speed.
I never thought I’d be in this position. I always expected, if I was lucky enough to get pregnant, it would be happy. A celebration.
Not...not planning to end it.
“Not always, Mom.” I brush more tears away. “Sometimes life is giving you a kick up the bum, reminding you to stop being stupid.”
A disappointed frown appears on her face.
“You have a life growing inside you, Riley. Don’t make any rash decisions. The thing about being old like me is that you have the gift of hindsight. Having you was the best thing I ever did.”
“But you had Dad.”
“He’s not perfect.”
Still. At least he was a loyal father and husband, not out searching for a wife. Publicly. While you suffer unimaginable humiliation.
“Try to sleep, sweetheart. I’ll pick you up from the airport when you arrive.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I force on a smile and end the call.
Glancing at all of Colt’s missed calls, I delete them and curl up. I need to sleep. There is a long journey ahead to get home to Australia.
I wish I had never left.
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THE NEXT DAY, I check out and head straight to the airport. I’m a little early, but I’m too miserable to think straight and the morning sickness is kicking my ass.
The yellow cab pulls up outside the airline check in and I give him a good tip and gather my things while he gets my luggage out of the trunk.
At least I’m flying first class again.
“Thank you,” I take the trolley from him, give him my best fake smile and then make my way towards the entrance.
That’s when I see him.
That’s when I see them.
Colt and another man are crouched on the ground outside, wearing ruffled suits with their ties half loose and dark shadows around their eyes.
I slow and watch Colt sip from a paper cup then cringe.
I know why he’s here, but I can’t do this. Glancing around, I turn my trolley in another direction and move.
“Riley!”
Shit.
“Wait!”
Crap.
I don’t turn. I don’t look. I just keep walking and pray that a meteorite or something will get in his way.
Colt leaps in front of my trolley, and I almost knock him over.
“Go away,” I hiss.
“Jesus, Riley. You’re pregnant with my baby. I’m not letting you leave.”
“What do you mean?” Panic sets in fast. He can’t keep me here in America, can he? Oh my god, I never thought about that.
“I’m an Australian citizen. You can’t stop me leaving.”
He runs a hand through his hair and looks at his friend.
“Hey, I’m Drew.” He holds out his hand.
I glance between them. “Are you the lawyer?”
Drew laughs lightly. “No, that’s Zander. No one is stopping you from leaving. My idiot friend just wants to talk.”
Idiot is right.
“How about I watch your bags and you two go get a coffee and talk?”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” I shake my head.
“You’re pregnant. There is a lot to talk about,” Colt snaps.
“Which I said I was dealing with!” I hiss under my breath.
“You mean kill.” He puts a foot on the trolley. “I will not let you kill our kid.”
Goddamn him.
I wasn’t necessarily planning...well, I don’t know what I was planning.
“Go find your stupid wife and leave me alone. Have kids with her,” I snap and try to move the trolley.
Fury and fire spark in his eyes. I follow them as he circles the trolley. Fisting one hand on the handle beside mine, he leans in. “I don’t want to have kids with anyone else. I want this one.”
An unwelcome and delighted giggle threatens to bubble up from deep inside me.
Stupid body.
Instead, I swallow.
“I want you,” Colt continues, and while he smells like a brewery, the hints of his masculine scents and lingering aftershave remind me of his kisses. The way he’d hold me. How he showed up on my doorstep to take me on a romantic dinner halfway across the world.
Nope.
Fool me once and all that.
“No, you don’t,” I whisper, my eyes dropping.
He points to the wall. “I slept on the goddamn concrete all night waiting for you. I forced my best friend to do the same.”
“He did. Actually, I am charging him fifty thousand, but let’s call it forced.” Drew shrugs.
“Not helpful,” Colt grates out.
“I’ll be in the coffee shop. Don’t kill each other.” He waves.
I watch him walk off, and it hits me that all of Colt’s friends are wealthy, incredibly good looking and built. Kylie would be like a kid in a toy shop if she met them. Which she won’t, because I’m leaving and never seeing Colt Winters again.
“I have to check in, Colt. Perhaps we could talk when I get home.”
“You have two hours.” He glares.
Fine, I lied.
But he’s lied from the beginning.
“There’s nothing more to say.” I shake my head and pull my water bottle out, taking a long sip. “It’s not the first time two people have messed up and been in this situation. Do your show. Find your wife. Forget me.”
The sob is stuck in my throat and I can barely swallow. The moment my bottle is back in my bag, Colt tugs me against him and cups my face.
“Riley, I was a fucking idiot.”
Don’t cry.
Don’t cry.
Don’t cry.
“I’m not doing the show. I know it will take a miracle to gain your trust, but,” he curses and shakes his head. “I thought this was just lust. A cute girl from the other side of the world who tastes like heaven. It has happened so fast.”
My chest tightens as each word leaves his lips.
He’s right, it has been fast. I went in glossy-eyed, never thinking he would want more, that this would be more. I guess neither of us did.
He’s not doing the show?
Because of me?
The baby?
“Even as I did start having feelings, I figured you’d hate New York. That you were in this for the excitement, the chemistry we have.”
Which is true.
If he’s being honest, I need to be.
“Yeah.” I nod.
“I had moments where I’d think about you staying, and then I’d think about how you love your work. I doubt you’d want to be a caretaker in Central Park.”
He thought about those things?
“Not really.”
A sadness crosses his eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I touch his arm.
“I wanted to enjoy our time together.” He shakes his head. “Fuck, I never thought I’d feel like this about someone. Riley, we’ve made a kid. A baby.”
A sob escapes, and tears roll down my face.
“Yeah. We did.” I wipe my eyes.
“I want to take care of you. I want you in my life. Not just because of our baby,” He glances down at my belly, and it fills with butterflies.
I want to hate him.
I want to tell him to jump in the lake and never call me again.
“Why did you do it? Why did you sign up for the show when...”
Colt brushes my hair from my face. “Come on, baby, you’ve been on this fast-moving rollercoaster with me. Two weeks ago, we were just pen pals.”
I shrug.
It’s not enough of an answer for me.
“But why?”
“I thought having a well-resourced show like The Final Rose to screen the right person for me was the right thing to do.” He shakes his head, then glances back, the grip on my face tightens. “I never told you how Jack died.”
I blink, glance at his black leather bracelet.
“Sandy killed him. For his money.”
I gasp, and the pieces start clicking into place.
“So you thought meeting someone on a show would eliminate women who wanted you for your money.”
Colt rubs the back of his head. “Maybe. Fuck, I don’t know.”
Tilting my head, I see a young man who hasn’t let anyone close to him because of what happened to his friend.
The same one who gave me his bracelet.
That means something.
And I gave it back to him.
“Colt...”
“But then I fell in love.”
Gasping, I feel my legs wobble, not expecting him to say those three magical words.
“I love you, Riley. I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere between the Pacific Ocean and the cherry blossoms in Central Park, I fell madly in love with you.”
My heart swells as more tears roll down over my cheeks.
“Do you mean that?”
I have to ask.
I have to be sure.
“Yes, my little gardener,” Colt slides his fingers through my hair, smiling at me. “Not because of the baby. I love you. I’m so head over heels in love with you it hurts.”