Chapter twelve
LYRIELLE
I went late to breakfast the next morning, partially because I wasn’t ready to face anyone, and partially because I hoped to catch Tavric when he was no longer surrounded by those insisting he give them his time.
I couldn’t tell him about what I’d discovered, but I knew that the morning would grate on him, just like it always did. Yesterday he’d told me I was good at comforting people, and that gave me a small sense of bravery.
I ate slowly, doing my best to be unobtrusive, and by the time I was halfway through, the crowd was already thinning.
After the last person left, I was about to say something, but then Tavric covered both of his ears and closed his eyes.
His chest expanded and contracted in controlled movements and he started to rock back and forth a bit, though I had the feeling he wasn’t aware of the movement.
I’d never stayed long enough in the morning to see how he recovered from so much chaos, and I found it fascinating.
I also had the urge to go over to him and wrap him in my arms.
That was when Prince Kavian walked in.
“We need to talk,” he said to Tavric, without even waiting for acknowledgment.
Tav stopped rocking but shook his head and pinched his eyes tighter.
Prince Kavian let out a dramatic sigh and dropped into a seat close to Tavric. He waited, though it was clear he was impatient, until Tavric rubbed his hands over his face and then opened his eyes to look at Kavian. “What is it?” he asked in a nearly calm voice.
“I’ve invited a couple chaps from university to visit and see how we run things here. You’ll talk to them this afternoon, won’t you?”
Whatever calm Tavric had acquired fled, and he went nearly rigid. “No, I won’t, Kavian.”
“What? Why?”
“I’m already overwhelmed. I can’t entertain whatever strangers my brothers drag home with them.”
My brow furrowed. That seemed a bit harsh, but what did I know of brotherly squabbles or the frustrations of trying to rule a kingdom…especially while your father was dying?
“Tav, come on.” Prince Kavian sounded both surprised and annoyed.
Tavric leaned his elbows on the table. “The answer is no, Kavian.” His eyes flitted to me for only a moment.
Kavian noticed and looked over his shoulder, seeing me for the first time. “Of course.” A scoff scratched out from the back of his throat and he got to his feet. “You can only entertain the strangers you bring home,” he shot off before turning his back on his brother.
Tavric stood, anger hardening his jaw. “Kavian,” he called out, but the younger prince was gone in a huff.
Tavric sighed, shook out his arms, and took his seat again.
He speared a few bites of ham and put them in his mouth, which made me wonder why he didn’t insist on eating before letting people speak with him.
I was certain that his hunger made his discomfort worse, and now he was stuck with cold food.
After a few more bites and several gulps of what must have been tepid tea, he looked up at me.
“Good morning, Lyri.”
I bowed my head out of respect. “Good morning, Your Highness.”
“I hope meeting my father wasn’t too disconcerting for you.”
“Not at all. I just wish I could help.” Which was true, but I hadn’t been blessed to think of a way to help without being caught.
“Your presence helps.” He gave me a smile, but it was fleeting and he was soon staring off at nothing while digging his thumb into his opposite palm. “I need to go somewhere.”
“Can I show you my favorite spot in the garden?” I asked. I’d been hoping he would let me distract him.
He let out a breath, his shoulders dropping in relief. “I would love to see it,” he said. After he took my advice and ate several more bites of food, we left the dining hall together.
The nervous energy that hummed in my chest made me want to walk close to Tavric.
It was a combination of guilt and helplessness.
Guilt over not confessing my ability and running to heal the king right away, and helplessness in knowing that I hadn’t yet figured out a way to help him, even though I had wracked my brain.
So once we stepped outside, I let myself walk a little closer to Tav, our arms brushing against one another often. I longed to reach out my pinkie and try to catch his, but I wasn’t that brave. Tavric was a good friend, but he was a prince, and I was just…
What was I? My lack of answer to that question was disconcerting, so I pulled my mind away from it and focused on my surroundings as we entered the garden.
The trees, hedges, and climbing flowers of the landscaped space offered a sense of privacy, and the layers of floral scents wound their way around me and made me smile.
Maybe someday I would tire of the varied sights, sounds, and smells I encountered each day, but I doubted it.
I was too familiar with the melancholy that came with a lack of such things.
I led Tavric deep inside the maze and to a little bench surrounded by all sorts of flowers, bursting with vibrant color and all tumbling over one another as if jockeying for position and prestige. “This is it,” I said, lowering myself onto the bench.
“It’s beautiful,” he agreed, sitting close enough that my shoulder leaned into his upper arm. “What about it is your favorite?”
“So many flowers. So many shapes and colors. But no roses.” I breathed deeply, loving the cacophony of scents.
“You dislike roses?”
“Not exactly.” I looked over at him. “There were roses that climbed my tower, and I was grateful for them since they were the only flower I ever saw up close, but…I’ve had enough of them.”
He grimaced in commiseration. “I wish I could tell you the names of the different flowers, but I’m afraid I don’t know.”
“I recognize a lot of them. Gregor brought me a book once that had all sorts of illustrations and information about flowers and other plants. It’s one of the reasons I was so excited to explore these gardens. I was seeing things in real life that I’d only ever seen in a book, or from too far away.”
His arm moved, and I suddenly felt the warmth of his fingers running over my palm and then threading with my own. “Can I show you my favorite part of the garden?” he asked.
I had been rendered speechless by the intimate touch, so I just nodded.
He pulled me to my feet and I was dismayed when he dropped my hand to pull back nearby draping vines to allow me through. He didn’t take my hand again once we were on the other side, and I tried to squash my disappointment.
“What was your land like?” he asked as we ventured further into the garden. “Was it forest or desert? Flat lands? Mountains?”
“It was somewhat similar to here. Lots of trees. Hills as far as I could see, but no mountains. It was by the sea, but the water wasn’t visible from my tower.”
He shook his head. “It’s so strange to think there is an entire land out there, hidden from view.”
“Would you want to go there?” I asked, slightly alarmed by the idea.
He shook his head. “From what you’ve told me, I wouldn’t like it at all.”
We approached an arched gap in the hedge covered by hanging white flowers I recognized as wisteria. It was magical.
“Here,” he said suddenly as we stepped under the archway. Instead of going straight through, however, he turned to slip through a small space between two hedges. “Careful not to let your skirt get caught,” he said as he shuffled sideways through the narrow gap.
I laughed as I tried to flatten my dark green skirt to my legs. “Where are we going?” I asked.
He turned to grin back at me. “To my hideout.”
“Just so you know, if I do snag my skirt, I’m telling your mother that it is your fault.” I kept my eye on the cream lace that edged the sleeves, trying to keep it away from the grasping fingers of the branches.
“I’ll willingly take the blame.” He ducked down and disappeared through a low gap in the hedge.
I shook my head, enchanted by how like a young boy he was acting.
Then his hand appeared through the gap and he beckoned. “Come along, then,” his disembodied voice called.
I took his hand and ducked through the hole. When I straightened, he pulled a leaf from my hair and turned to gesture toward the space we now found ourselves in.
“This is it,” he said with satisfaction.
I loved looking around and trying to see it through his eyes.
This was not a curated portion of the gardens; it looked wild and abandoned.
One large, sturdy tree occupied most of the area, and it was surrounded on all sides by tall hedges.
Several small bunches of flowers had grown over the hedges from the other side, but for the most part, it looked unextraordinary.
“Would you hide away here often?” I asked, wondering at its significance in his life.
“Constantly.”
I followed him as he circled to the other side of the tree, where a flat board was strung up horizontally by two ropes attached to a large branch above.
“Sit down,” Tavric instructed, pointing to the board.
I did so, wondering at the wisdom of it. It wiggled precariously, and I had to hold on to the ropes to keep myself from falling off. “It’s rather unstable, isn’t it?”
He chuckled. “That’s sort of the point.”
“Why would someone want a chair that’s difficult to sit on?” I asked, scooching myself back further to steady myself.
He studied me. “Have you never encountered a swing before?”
“A swing?” I’d never heard of such a thing.
He nodded. “That’s what it’s called. You see, it’s not just for sitting.” He walked around behind me. “Are you holding on tightly?”
“Yes, why?”
“Because I’m going to show you the joy of using a swing.” He took hold of the ropes just above my own hands and slowly walked backward several steps before letting go.
“Oh,” I said in surprise as I glided forward and then swung back toward Tavric.
“I’m going to give you a little push,” he warned, and then did just that.
I laughed. “I take it back. This is a delightful chair.”
“I used to swing here constantly as a boy. It was quiet here, but not stuffy or echoey like the castle can be.”
“Did you have someone to push you?”
“No, I figured out how to swing myself.”
“Your brothers never came?”
“This was my hideout. My brothers and I have plenty of other haunts that we would escape to, but this one was mine alone. The gardener hung this swing and told only me about it, I think because he knew that sometimes even my brothers’ company was too much.”
I chewed on my lip, debating whether to broach the subject or not, but in the end, my concern and curiosity won out. “You get overwhelmed often.”
“I do,” he said right away, not sounding offended by my intrusion. “I don’t understand how people can concentrate or thrive or enjoy themselves when there is too much noise and too many people. Even the texture of my clothing can be bothersome.”
“So it’s not the socializing that bothers you?”
“Socializing is fine if it’s with a small number of people I actually know. But few royal meetings or events involve only a few people. So when it’s too much, I sail or I hide in the library. Once in a while, I’ll come back here.”
I closed my eyes as the swing arced forward once again. “Your parents don’t know about this place?” I asked, wondering how it was that he could trust me with this secret.
“They never said anything, but I’m fairly certain my mother knew a lot more about what we boys got up to than she ever let on. In fact, it might have been her who asked the gardener to hang the swing. You should ask her about it some time. I’m sure she’d have stories to tell.”
“I’m certain that your mother has far better things to do than tolerate me.”
He caught hold of the ropes and brought the swing to a stop. “Hey,” he said as he circled around to face me, holding on to the ropes and leaning down so he was at my level. “Don’t do that.”
I blinked up at him. “Do what?”
“Act as if you’re a burden. You’re not.”
“I—”
“My mother has responsibilities—we all do—but that doesn’t mean she is merely tolerating you. She likes you, Lyri, probably for a lot of the same reasons I like you. You’re…” His eyes skimmed over my face, my hair, and my mouth—where they lingered.
My breath escaped me and I couldn’t speak.
His gaze returned to my eyes. “You’re extraordinary. I don’t know that I could put into words how much I admire your strength and your friendliness…and your patience with me.”
I shook my head. “Being around you doesn’t require patience.”
A smile broke over his face and the corners of his eyes crinkled. “Give it time.”
“Do you have plans to become tiresome?”
His gaze dropped again to my lips. “Maybe.”
My chest felt suddenly tight and my heart seemed to be pulling me forward, drawing me closer to his handsome face and kind words. “I’ve never thought of myself as friendly,” I admitted in an attempt to keep myself from doing something utterly foolish like kissing a prince.
“How could you not? You’re kind to everyone.”
I shrugged. “I like people, and I like talking to them.”
He gave a little quirk of his eyebrow. “Yes, and that’s called being friendly.
” He leaned in, smiling, and brought his face so close that for one wild second I thought he was going to kiss me.
My breath caught and my heart pounded, as I suddenly wanted nothing more than to feel what it would be like to share that kind of closeness with someone.
Not just someone—Tavric. But then he sucked in a breath and drew back.
“It’s something I have no skill at.” He circled around behind me again and pulled back on the swing before letting me go.
I was grateful he couldn’t see my face, as I was fairly certain it was bright red.