Chapter thirteen #2
I likely would have found the hubbub and pageantry amusing if Tavric’s discomfort hadn’t been so potent.
I ached for him, knowing there was likely nothing about this situation that he enjoyed.
People were always talking over one another, there was a constant din of voices, and the movement never stopped.
He became more and more agitated as the minutes rolled by, and I wondered if this was how it always affected him.
I kept hoping his eyes might fall on me so I could at least give him a smile, but they never turned my way.
When it was all over, I left the great hall along with everyone else, sick at heart to think that when Tavric eventually took the throne, he’d be forced into this life every day. Hopefully, if I could heal the king, that day would not come for years.
I expected Tavric to come find me, knowing that, for whatever reason, he found my presence soothing. But he didn’t come, so I returned to my room and changed out of the formal clothing before going in search of him. Hopefully I could convince him to let me visit his father again.
As I wandered the corridors, peeking into any room that had its door open, the queen entered the hallway up ahead. I stepped to the side and waited for her to pass, as was expected.
“Miss Lyrielle,” she said instead. “Walk with me, won’t you?”
Her request was unexpected but not unwelcome, and I fell into step beside her.
“I wanted to apologize,” she said, managing to startle me further. “I believe I made you uncomfortable the other morning when I told Kavian about your necklace.”
“No apology necessary, but Prince Tavric told me why you were interested in it. I’m not royalty, Your Majesty.” I felt the need to point it out.
“Regardless, I made you uncomfortable and that was not my intention. I like you, my dear.”
A strange, lurching feeling tugged at my heart, half pain, half relief. “I like you as well, Your Majesty,” I managed to whisper.
“Tavric mentioned that you’d like to find an official position, perhaps somewhere here in the palace, or in the village?”
“Oh.” I blinked in surprise. Should I be hurt that Tavric wanted me to leave, or glad he was helping me do what I had set out to do? “Yes, Your Majesty. I would be very appreciative of any help you could give me.”
“He said something about sewing.”
“Yes, I’m good at it.”
“Wonderful. You know, I do appreciate you keeping him company so many evenings. You’ve been good for him.”
Heat rose to my cheeks. “I don’t know about that.”
“I do. And if you had seen him before, you would know the tremendous amount of good you’ve done.”
I pulled back, struck by her sincerity. “I haven’t…”
“Did he tell you why he’s had to fill in for his father so much lately?”
I nodded.
“He’ll be taking on the crown before long, I imagine”—she swallowed—“and it will be difficult. He and his father are similar in many ways, but Tavric has never been at ease among crowds. Still, I know he’ll make a good ruler, just like his father.
” She tried to smile, but her face was strained and sadness clouded her eyes.
“I was grateful for the chance to meet King Valtren the other day. And I’m sorry for what he is suffering.”
She blinked rapidly. “We all are.” Then she seemed to shake off the oppressive subject, forcing a smile as she gestured down the hallway. “I’d be happy to introduce you to the head seamstress.”
The seamstress? Oh, right. She was helping me find a position. “Thank you” was all I managed to say as my thoughts and feelings tumbled over one another. I knew I should be grateful for her help, but it felt too soon, and I couldn’t help wondering where Tavric was.
I joined her in the hall, but she paused to look at me. “Unless you would prefer to work in the village. I don’t want you to think that I expect you to stay here.”
I wondered if that would be better, but then realized that no, I needed to stay here. If I was going to have a chance to heal the king completely, without anyone knowing, I would need to stay at the castle. “I’d like to meet the seamstress,” I assured her.
She nodded, and we walked on. “Honestly, she’ll likely be glad for the extra help. With the impending arrival of Princess Saria, we will need to be sure that Tavric looks his best.”
Wait… What?
“We’re all surprised by this turn of events, but we’re happy for the potential to strengthen our alliance.”
It felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. I tried to tell myself that I was misunderstanding her words, but…how else could they be understood? “A princess, Your Majesty?” A princess who was coming specifically for Tavric? My Tavric?
“Yes, has he not told you? Dorian’s diplomatic mission was even more successful than we had hoped. Ravencairn is an ally, and it seems Tavric has caught the eye of their princess. And with the king’s health so ill, I’m certain you can—”
She kept talking, but there was a ringing in my ears that prevented me from hearing the rest of what she said.
My breathing came in short little gasps that I tried to keep quiet so she wouldn’t realize the pain that was slicing through me with each word she spoke.
Was that why the queen was shuttling me off to the servants’ quarters?
Because I was in the way of some grand romance?
Did Tavric want me gone? Perhaps I’d misinterpreted things entirely.
How was I to know the difference between politeness and friendship and… more?
As panic, betrayal, and hurt swirled inside me, my ears seemed to stop working altogether. Thankfully, whatever the queen was saying must not have required a response, because we reached the other end of the castle without me saying a word.
I was a shell of myself as I focused just enough to speak with the seamstress and answer her questions.
The queen squeezed my hand one more time before departing, and I had the horrible thought that her acceptance of me had been a facade this whole time, and now she was hiding me away belowstairs so that I would not be an embarrassing complication when the princess arrived.
No wonder I hadn’t seen Tavric all day. No wonder he had no need of me.
The seamstress was very kind in issuing me a uniform, and I returned to my old room to change into it and gather my own faded purple dress. I was then shown to a room that I would share with two other servants and invited to dine in the kitchen with the rest of the staff.
As I sat on the narrow bed only a third the size of the one I’d slept in for the past two weeks, with nothing to my name but my dress, my necklace, and the uniform I’d been given, I tried to tell myself that this was good. I had freedom and an occupation. That was not nothing.
It was just so much less than I’d had yesterday.