Chapter 12
Jasmine
I try to keep an upbeat attitude, smiling towards my daughter who is currently having her IV removed, and I pack our things ready to head home, while deep down, I want to fall apart.
The number, the financial woman, whose name I really cannot remember because everything just blurred, floats around my head, making it difficult to breathe.
“Your company has declined your insurance.”
Damn Hammack and his stupid ass bald patches. He knew I wouldn’t be able to sue him for this. The fact that I asked him for more hours is proof of that, and he’s just royally screwed me over, and I can’t even quit because I need to think of my child, who depends on me.
Dammit.
I clamp down on my bottom lip, trying my hardest not to worry my darling daughter, who has asked several times when her daddy is going to get here, breaking my heart piece by piece, because we have to leave Louisiana, to leave him.
I’m going to be taking her away from her father, I’m going to break my daughter's heart because, as much as I would love to fight for the man who holds my heart, who I never got it back from, our daughter will be put at risk and not just by his mother but my own.
Nothing has changed from six years ago.
Uncle Charms came to see me yesterday. Not only did he give me the paperwork for my grandmother's estate and inheritance, or tried to anyhow, but I refused it, told him to donate it, but anyway, apparently someone at the funeral saw me and told Mama, so now, she’s on the hunt, so to speak.
The sooner I leave town, the safer everyone else will be.
“There you go, sweetheart,” the nurse says, and I look to see her clearing everything away, and I give her a smile, but her light brown eyes narrow at me, a sneer firm on her face, but I don’t waver.
Turns out Nurse Nell has a thing for Logan and is pissed because I had his daughter.
Something may be going on between them. I noticed them talking quietly yesterday, and the way she was gazing up at him like he was her world.
And there goes another shattered piece of my heart, falling to the floor.
I hate the jealousy I feel right now, the hurt. I left him, I didn’t confide in him, didn’t trust him to let me go, so I ran, taking our daughter with me, and now, unlike what Granny thought, he’s moved on, and I have to respect that, even if I do feel like dying.
“Why are you looking at my mama like that?” Aisling asks, gaining our attention, only to see her glaring at the nurse, who pales slightly. “You are supposed to be nice, you look after kids like me, but you’re just acting mean and like a bully.”
Oh dear…
The nurse's mouth opens and closes several times, and even though I really don’t want to, I save her and confirm, “Are we cleared to leave now?”
She looks my way with wide eyes before she nods and stutters, “Y-yes, uh, yes, Dr. Conners signed her discharge papers, she’s free to leave.”
I nod, look at my clearly mad daughter, and ask, “Are you ready to go home, bumblebee?”
Aisling looks my way, her dark grey eyes looking just like her father's, and she lights up as she asks, “To daddy’s house?”
Crap.
My heart sinks, and ignoring the nurse’s eyes on me, I whisper, “No, Ais, not to daddy’s house, we need to get back to Huntingdon. Mama has work, and you’ve got school, but I’ll make sure you can speak to him every day, okay?”
Aisling looks away from me, and I swallow hard as I grab her shoes and take them over to her, ignoring the nurse, knowing my daughter now hates me.
***
Half an hour later, holding Aisling's hand, we walk out of the hospital after making a payment plan for her care, my body trembling with fear.
I don’t know how I’m going to pay it, and I gave away the inheritance.
I’ve really got to start thinking before I act.
“I want to see daddy,” Aisling whispers, and my eyes tear up.
I asked Nurse Nell to call him to her room so she could say goodbye, but she snapped he wasn’t on shift today, so I had to deal with an upset five-year-old.
I did leave my number with the receptionist so he could get a hold of me, even if it wasn’t safe. I can’t keep them apart, not again anyway.
Unlocking the car, I open the back door for Aisling before rounding to the trunk just as I hear a rumble of pipes, and I look to my right just as Aisling shouts, “Daddy!” and my heart flips watching as she rushes over towards him.
“Careful, bumblebee, let him pull up,” I call, and she quickly stops and bounces on her toes as Logan pulls up next to her. Then, as if on instinct, he leans down and picks her up before switching his bike off.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Logan murmurs, and I look at them with awe and regret before our eyes connect, and I flinch at how hard his grey eyes are, the hate shining in them.
Double damn.
I swallow hard as I look away, giving them a moment, not coping with how much he despises me, and I lift the bags into the trunk while the piece of paper I couldn’t bring myself to leave with the receptionist out of fear burns a hole in my pocket.
“I’ve been discarded,” Aisling says, and I shake my head as a small smile appears and say, “Discharged, bumblebee, you’ve been discharged,” without looking at them as I shut the trunk.
“Oh yeah, discharged,” she says happily.
I swear that girl.
“That’s awesome, sweetheart,” Logan says, his voice sounding nearer, and I look in time to see him gently placing Aisling in the back seat on her booster, clicking her in.
“I’ve just got to speak to Mama, alright?
” he says as he leans in and kisses her head, and our girl nods, making him smile as he leans back up and shuts the door, then leans against it, crossing his arms over his chest, his sole attention now on me.
I fiddle with the car keys, not knowing what to say.
I used to be able to talk to him without a care. It used to come easy, but I hurt him, I walked away without a word, I lost him…
“I need you to follow me to the farm,” he finally says when I don’t, and a lump forms in the back of my throat.
He’s going to lose it, I can feel it.
“I can’t,” I whisper, the first words I’ve said to him in a week.
Don’t get me wrong, every day he’s come in and watched Aisling sleep, I’ve wanted to speak up, to explain why I left, why I kept her away, but I just, I couldn’t, the guilt is killing me, and even now, I’m leaving again.
I’m leaving him, the life we should have had, for the sake of Aisling's safety, for his and I can’t even tell him why because Mama will destroy him, which then would ruin me and god knows what the fallout will entail with his mother.
Despite it being six years, this man is still my everything. I gave him my heart, my whole heart, and I never took it back, and I never will.
“You can and you will, Jasmine,” he snaps, and I flinch at his tone. “Follow me back to the farm, we need to talk,” he demands.
With a trembling hand, I grab the piece of paper in my jeans pocket and hold it out to him without making eye contact, and as soon as he takes it, I say, “This is my new address. Please make sure no one gets hold of it. You can see Aisling whenever you want as long as it’s inside that apartment,” I finally get the courage to look at him and finish, “I have a job to get back to, Aisling has school. I left my number with the receptionist as well. I didn’t want that address getting out. ”
His eyes harden some more, something I didn’t think was possible, and he begins to look feral as he sneers, “You are not leaving, and you certainly are not taking my fucking daughter with you!”
Everything inside me wants to cup his cheek, to rub my thumb along his chiseled jaw and explain everything, to beg for forgiveness, but instead I admit, “We’re not safe here, Logan.” I look in the back of the car, and I choke, “Tell your daughter you’ll call her later.”
I can feel his tension, his anger, and I squeeze my eyes tight as I hear, “Daddy has to get to work, sweetheart, so I’ll call you in a little while, alright?”
“Okay, Daddy,” Aisling replies before I hear the car door shut, then feel his presence, but I don’t open my eyes, even as he threatens, “If you think I’m going to let you take her two fucking hours away from me, then you have another thing coming.
You’ve already kept me from my daughter for five fucking years, missing all the milestones like a bitch.
I won’t let you make me miss more, so get your ass in your car and follow me home, or I'll lawyer up!”
Damn…
My eyes burn with unshed tears as my body trembles at his threat.
Gone the boy I fell in love with, the boy I was starting a life with, and in place a man I hurt, a man full of pain and anger.
What have I done?
Sniffling, I finally look at him, showing him my own pain, my own loneliness, and he flinches like I just smacked him.
“It isn’t safe for us, Logan,” I repeat with a whisper.
“I can keep my daughter safe, Jasmine!” he snaps, his nostrils flaring, and I shake my head and deny, “No, you can’t, maybe from your mother, yes, but not from…”
I stop while I’m ahead and look away, but he cups my chin and forces me to look at him, and he demands coldly, “From who?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I try, and his grip tightens as he snaps, “It does fucking matter because you left me without a fucking word! You took my child and didn’t even bother to stay in contact with the woman who saw you as a fucking daughter who died believing you didn’t care!”
Wow, he may as well have punched me with how hard his words just hit.
Logan scoffs and lets go of my chin, coldness instantly taking place, and he growls, “You never did fucking trust me, huh?”
“You know I did,” I say meekly when we both know that was a lie.
I trusted him with me, I trusted him with my heart, I didn’t trust him not to go after people who are too devious to allow it.
Mama would have chewed his club up and spat it back out, but not before ensuring Logan didn’t survive.
I never thought my mother could have been capable of murder, but I guess I was wrong. What she tried to do to my daughter is proof of that.
“You are a liar,” he chokes, “I could have protected you if you had just come to me. Instead, you tore me a-fuckin-part, broke Granny’s heart, and you took my child with you, taking away my chance at being a father.”
“But who would have protected you?” I ask, unable to hear his hate, needing him to see why I did what I did.
His mouth parts in shock, his eyes wide, and a few tears fall down my cheek as I shake my head and walk away.
He’ll never believe me, I hurt him.
Climbing into my car, I look back to see that Aisling has nodded off, and I sigh with relief before starting the vehicle.
With one last look in the rearview mirror at the man who owns me wearing jeans and a tank top, I put the car into gear and pull away.
I know it’s for the best, even if my whole body wants to run back to him.
In a different lifetime, we probably would have made it, gotten married, had more kids, but in this lifetime, I’m stuck with a woman like my mother ensuring I’ll never be happy.
I have to hope Logan doesn’t do as he threatened out of hurt and anger, that I don’t lose my daughter because I definitely don’t have funds for a lawyer and something tells me, I won’t make it on the run.