Chapter 19 #2
I slowly open the door to my daughters room and smile, seeing Aisling's leg hanging off her bed, her mouth open as she lightly snores with her arm above her head, before shutting the door again and walking to the stairs, my heart full having my girls under my roof and even though I don’t want to fucking go to the club I know if I don’t show up, Doc will come here with the brothers in tow just to piss me off, and at least this way, I can give Jas some time to think about her fuck up and I can try to reign in my harsh words that push her further away.
***
I slowly lick my bottom lip half an hour later, as I look at the clubhouse, a place I barely fucking came to because of that woman, and the urge to drive back off again consumes me.
Growing up, I thought becoming a brother would center me, help me belong somewhere, but fuck, watching everyone laugh with my mother, watching them dote on her, it made me fucking sick.
It didn’t matter how many times I went to the clubhouse, she was always there, each and every fucking time. Always with Lyndsey and Kate in tow, pushing me further and further out of the brotherhood, and meeting Jas, I finally knew what home felt like, and that is why I’m so pissed off at her.
Yeah, it hurts knowing she kept my daughter from me, but a small part of me, and I mean the tiniest part, understands her mindset.
Her mother tried to make her to have a miscarriage then my mother who according to Dirty had me watched which is how she apparently knew about Jas, threatened to kill her if she didn’t leave.
Told her if she hadn’t miscarried she would have slit our daughter’s throat at birth scaring the living shit outta her, so yeah, I kind of understand when I don’t want to but the thing I can’t seem to forgive right now, is not just her staying away for as long as she did, making me miss all the milestones in my daughter’s life and the willingness to go back to Huntingdon right after Granny’s funeral without being seen, but she took my home from me.
“Come on, brother,” Stone says from near the door, and I huff, “Not a brother,” as I climb off my Harley.
For two weeks, the brothers have given me space, but something deep inside is telling me that space will now be invaded. Vincent being at the house is proof of that.
“Yeah, you are, so stop with that shit and get inside, your father is just waiting for you, and the brothers want to grovel and most importantly understand why you left, only the officers are aware of the situation,” Stone grunts, and I just snort.
I don’t want their groveling, I just want my girls to stay with me.
I walk past a pissed off Stone, not happy I haven’t come back to the club, and head inside, every head swiveling my way, but I ignore them all and lock eyes with my mother's dark brown ones that tear up, putting on a show.
“Tank, sweetheart, you’re back,” she says as she stands, and shockingly – not – Kate stands with her, biting her bottom lip as she eyes me up.
“Nope, not back,” I state firmly, and the brothers scowl my way, but I just shrug, “I need to focus on my girls.”
“Girls?” Kate questions, “What girls?”
I smirk as Mama looks down and I state, “My girl and my daughter.”
The brothers all sit up straight at my confession, all shocked that not only do I have a girl but also a kid while Kate looks at my mother sharply, her face bright red as she accuses, “You lied to me! You said she lost the brat, and if she hadn’t, you would have slit its throat!”
The brothers tense while Mama glares at Kate and, completely forgetting she’s in a room full of brothers who have no idea what she’s done, growls, “Her chart said she fucking miscarried, Kate! I don’t have x-ray vision, I didn’t know the child survived, and she had a girl, a daughter I couldn’t have. ”
“Are you seriously admitting if Tank's old lady had a boy, you would have slit your grandson’s fucking throat?!” Taser, Anchor's dad cuts her off with a shout, making both women jump as they look around the room to see every eye on them, making Kate shrink back while Mama, her eyes connect with mine.
“You always wanted a girl, right, Sara?” I confirm, and she flinches at the use of her name.
“I love you, you are my son, and I’ve been worried about you,” she whispers, and I snort.
“So worried that you’ve had someone follow me for years, ensuring I didn’t settle down?
” I ask, and she stiffens, seeing I know more than she realized.
I smirk coldly as I confirm, “So concerned when you saw I was madly in love and ready to settle down with my girl that you threatened her to leave town or else?!”
Mama’s tears fall, and Thunder demands, “Who in the fuck is your girl? I’ve never known for you to date anyone, let alone have a child!”
I look towards the man only to roll my eyes at the cast on his wrist.
“Seriously, Thunder, again?” I snap, and he shrugs.
“I thought you were on shift last night,” he admits, and I sigh as the brothers shake their heads at the idiot.
I swear to fuck…
“I was at home making sure my girl didn’t take off on me!
” I snap, causing his eyes to widen and the brothers to stand up, and I confirm, “Yeah, she only came back for her grandmother's funeral, a woman I saw every single fucking Tuesday while my girl was living in my home, and after for six years when she ran.”
“Who in the fuck is your girl, Tank?” Shadow demands, “For you to keep her a secret from everyone she has to be someone well known.”
“Jasmine Williams, the now senator’s daughter,” I state loudly, and Kate’s face pales even more while Mama looks like she’s about to be sick.
Guess whoever she had watching me had no idea who Jas was, only that we were together, that, or she’s just a really good fucking actress.
“Well, that explains the secrecy,” Shadow mumbles, and I hum, locking eyes with the woman who birthed me.
“If you’d found the one and were happy, which clearly you were, the woman has had your kid, why did Sara threaten her?” Thunder asks with confusion.
“Because Kate is the daughter she never got,” my dad snaps as he stands up and walks over to me, staying by my side while the brothers frown and Mama begins to tremble, her eyes holding questions, and I just smirk.
“Yeah, mother dearest, Dad knows everything…” I sneer causing her to take a step back, “He knows about the blackmail, he knows about the punishment I’d receive when I went against you,” I look around the room, the brothers still confused and I inform them, “Up until Dad decided to train me for his role within the club, my lovely mother here would dress me up in girl clothes, force me to grow my hair out and act like a girl. If I went against her, if I tried to do boy things, I got burned, my back proof of it.”
“What the fuck!” Hayley, Stone’s mama shouts, and my mother’s breathing deepens.
“After Dad took over with me, she acted like I didn’t exist, the only time she showed an ounce of interest in me is when I finally chopped off all my hair, smashing my phone as punishment before ignoring me again until I was fourteen and she lost her lover's baby for the what was it, Sara, the third or fourth time?” I say, “I guess it doesn’t really matter, does it?
You got back involved because you wanted Kate as your daughter, and it didn’t matter that I never wanted to go to a dance, that I didn’t want to go to the movies, I had to, right, Sara?
” I scoff, “I started fucking your best friend at sixteen just to rebel from you and your shit, and despite knowing that, you continued to push me towards that leech, then had the balls to threaten my fucking pregnant girl!”
My body trembles with anger, the urge to strangle the woman that birthed me consuming me as the fear in Jas’s eyes when she saw my father two weeks ago hit me right in the chest.
This woman is the reason why I lost my girl, and I fucking hate her!
“I put in a vote to have Sara stripped of her old lady title and banned from all properties effective immediately,” Doc states loudly and Mama gasps in shock but her tears fall when Dad begins the vote, saying, “Aye, she signed the divorce papers last night without realizing what they were, it’s why I had to wait two weeks. ”
Fucking hell, I didn’t see that one coming.
I look at him in shock, unable to keep it in but he keeps his eyes on Mama, staring daggers at her and I look back at her just as she pleads, “Paul, please, I’m…
” but Thunder cuts Mama off, stating, “Aye,” followed by Shadow, then Stone, Dirty, Ace, and one by one, every brother says Aye, kicking her out of the club, even the old ladies, Brit currently being held back by Rose, who also looks like she wants to hit my mother saying Aye.
“Tank,” Doc says after Ash says Aye, glaring at the women while Trigger keeps his arm around her waist so she doesn’t go on the attack, and I look towards my friend as the brothers look my way. “We need your vote,” he says, but I shake my head and remind him, “I’m not a brother.”
“Yes, you are, you're just on sabbatical,” Thunder says, and I give him a ‘are you high?’ look, but he shrugs and says, “What? You are. This is your home even though you built one off club property, your room is still down the hallway and your brothers still have your back, fuck Doc sent Vincent out before you came so I’m guessing he’s guarding your girls.
This is your home, you are family and so are they, so give the damn fucking vote that we should have had the moment she forced you to wear a dress so you can go fix my bike! ”
I frown, “What the fuck did you do to your bike?”
“The idiot crashed it into the wall, it’s how he broke his wrist,” his dad sighs, “Give the vote, son.”
“Fuck’s sake, Thunder,” I groan, dropping my head.
The man is a menace when he gets shit in his head.
I shake my head at the idiot then look around the room to see every eye on me, and I hate how much fucking love I feel for these men, my brothers, my family.
Looking at my mother who shakes her head, I say softly, “Goodbye, Mama.” Then I boom, “Fucking Aye!” before I turn and walk out of the common room, her screams echoing behind me.
***
I walk into the garage ten minutes later, ready to fix Thunder's fucking bike before my night shift, but groan when I see the woman standing at the desk, biting her bright red nail but before I can turn and walk out and send Dirty inside to get rid of her, the box sitting on the desk has me sucking in a breath.
“Chanel,” I say as I walk over to the desk, the box my main focus, and I swallow hard, seeing the pink scarf Granny was knitting before she passed for Jas.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, this will send her down the rabbit hole.
I know she hasn’t mourned properly yet, our girl, having her appendix removed, taking center stage but this, yeah, this will send her over but the question is, can I be the shoulder she needs when I’m still pissed at her?
Okay, so I won’t be giving the box to Jas just yet.
“Hey Tank,” Chanel whispers but I don’t look at her, instead I put my hand inside the box and pick up a picture of Jas when she was around five, her arms wrapped around her Granny’s neck, a big smile on her face and I smile slightly as I place it on the desk.
Deciding to keep that one, before I look through the box some more, seeing all of Granny’s prized possessions.
Jas may have donated all the inheritance, which, according to Brady, their father is extremely proud of her for, something I know Jas will be shocked to learn, but these items, fuck, they will mean everything to her.
Her mother is still apparently on the war path, and the man has been watching Bruce, who seems to be fucking anything with a skirt but their father apparently wants a relationship with his daughter, though he doesn’t yet know about his granddaughter.
Brady told him to give her time, in other words, to wait until I’ve spoken to her which is impossible when we’re barely speaking and when we are, I’m saying nasty shit, throwing my pain back in her face.
“I thought you may like these,” Chanel whispers, and I look her way and say, “Thanks, I’ll make sure Jas gets them, she’ll love having her Granny’s things.”
She furrows her brows as her eyes look over me, jealousy clear as day in hers at the mention of my girl, and I sigh.
She needs to leave.
She was hoping for more coming here, which is getting ridiculous, but before I can open my mouth, she shocks the shit outta me and throws herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and slamming her lips against mine, my hands automatically going to her hips, squeezing tightly.
What the fuck?