Chapter 20
Jasmine
I swallow hard as I look through the rearview mirror at Aisling happily swinging her legs in the backseat of Logan’s truck, the prospect, Vincent, following behind, his focus solely on my daughter and me, the same prospect I had to beg to allow me to leave the house for the first time in two weeks.
When I woke up this morning to Aisling poking my nose with her little finger, asking where her daddy was, I thought I’d dreamt seeing Logan again, but when reality caught up with me, and I realized he’d gone out without a word yet again, dread filled me.
For the past two weeks, the only thing he has snapped at me is about how he’ll never forgive me for leaving, breaking me even more. Otherwise, it’s a side glance, and that is it and I just…I miss him, more so than ever.
After he called me a selfish bitch, I closed myself off, I couldn’t help myself.
He has no idea the amount of things I’ve given up to ensure Aisling was safe and I don’t just mean a mattress under my body, clothes in the closet or even food on my plate but also my career.
The passion I held to become a lawyer with my uncle, it all got wiped out when I put our daughter first, just like I was trying to two weeks ago when I said she can stay until I’ve earned enough money for a better apartment meaning getting two extra jobs and then deciding our childcare arrangement that works best for her, not us.
I chew my bottom lip. He hates me, that much was obvious, but over the past two weeks, since he forced me to stay at the house I once saw as my own, he’s been acting like I irritate him.
Every time he’s left, it’s always before Aisling, and I wake, and when he returns, it’s after dinner time, where he’ll put Aisling to bed and then disappear into ou– his room.
I feel like I’m living on eggshells, and I can’t help but think – is all this really worth it, especially around Aisling?
He locks the doors and windows, has his dad come sit with us until he’s home, but he acts like I’m a pest in his home, a home I used to see as my own, a home I was making with him.
I look back at the road as I signal towards Rebels Motors and swallow hard.
I miss the man I fell in love with, the one who would ensure he knew I was his one, who would always put me first and look at me like I was his everything, and I think it’s time we figured our shit out.
I want Logan back, my Logan, not the one hurt and blindsided over a decision I made to protect him, his club and our daughter.
I know I stayed away for too long but the longer I waited to try and call, the harder it got for me and the more the inner voice made me believe he moved on, even when Granny claimed he was broken, I mean, Jesus, I didn’t get to say goodbye to my own grandmother because I was protecting those I loved, I haven’t even mourned her yet.
“Go fight for your man…”
Her voice echoes in my head, and I take a deep breath as I pull up near the closed gate but frown.
He was gone when I woke at seven-ten, so why isn’t the garage open? I mean, where else would he have gone? His shift at the hospital doesn’t start until tonight, or that is what I overheard him tell his dad on the phone yesterday.
The thought of him with another woman flashes, and I try to breathe through the heartache, and I look at Aisling in the rearview mirror and say, “I’m just going to go see if daddy is here, okay, bumblebee?”
“Okay, Mama,” she replies happily, and I give her a shaky smile, my nerves shot before I climb out of the truck and meet Vincent near the hood, who raises a brow at me.
“Can you watch her for a second? I think this may be a blood bath,” I whisper to Vincent, and he winces, but understanding etches off him as he says, “Of course,” and I look at Aisling happily singing to the radio and hesitation hits me hard.
What if he knows Logan's mama?
What if he’s waiting to strike?
“I promise, I’ll protect her with my life,” Vincent says, seeing my hesitation, and I take a shuddered breath and nod before walking through the smaller part of the gate, before I change my mind, knowing I can’t think ill of all the people I’ve met.
He wouldn’t be at the club if he wasn’t trusted, and Logan wouldn’t have gotten him to watch his daughter if he was close to his mama.
Or at least I hope not anyhow.
On trembling legs, I walk over to the open side door of the garage while giving myself a pep talk, trying to think of what to say, of how to get him to talk to me so we can at least be civilized but I pause just shy of the door when I hear Logan say softly, “Thanks, I’ll make sure Jas gets them,” the rest muddled so I don’t understand what he’s saying and I frown in confusion before I look into the door and quickly swallow my gasp as I watch Chanel, the receptionist who always had her eyes on Logan every time we visited Granny wearing a small mini dress and strappy heels, throw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and his hands instantly go to her waist. The dress crinkles slightly under his touch with how hard he’s gripping her and a sob works its way up as their lips lock and I quickly move away from the door and turn around.
He's not mine anymore, he is not mine anymore, I remind myself on repeat as I rush over to the gate but that doesn’t stop the excruciating pain hitting me right in the chest.
Vincent looks at me, frowns, then looks back at the garage, and I just shake my head and choke, “I’m taking her to the park like I promised. You want to tell him then fine but I’m done being locked in that house.”
He looks me over before he nods his head and pushes off the hood of the truck and walks over to the club's SUV without arguing with me, and I quickly climb into Logan's truck, suddenly wishing I had my car.
Did he take her in this?
Did he get with her as soon as I left?
Is this why he hates me being in his home?
A few tears fall, and I quickly wipe them away as I lie to Aisling, “Daddy wasn’t there, but we can still go to the park.”
She cheers for the park, and I quickly start the truck and put it in reverse, promising myself that I’ll allow Logan to move on with Chanel, even if it hurts.
I just have to convince him that Aisling and I being in Huntingdon is best for everyone, including his relationship.
***
“Watch me, Vinnie!” Aisling shouts half an hour later, and Vincent grins at her nickname for him as he walks over to the jungle gym to watch as she attempts the monkey bars, and I smile slightly despite the pain I feel stabbing in my heart.
I feel lonely, so goddamn lonely, and I know I only have myself to blame, but I just, did I make the right choice?
Just as I think it, a figure sits down next to me, making me look to my right, and I tense, recognizing the dark brown eyes instantly and instantly, with the hate looking my way, I know I did.
“I told you not to come back,” the bitch sneers as another person sits down to my left, but I don’t look their way, even as a sharp object digs into my side making me flinch then tense, the feel of wetness instantly spreading as pain hits me, I keep eye contact with the woman who threatened to kill my baby.
“I never did introduce myself, did I?” she says more to herself then states, “My name is Sara Levine, and digging a knife into your side right now is Kate Clots, my son's future wife, and if you make one move, that precious little girl over there will have her throat slit!”
I side-eye where Aisling was, and I try not to breathe a sigh of relief seeing Vincent’s sole focus on her, no other person around her.
“As far as I see, it’s just you two here, so how exactly are you going to kill your own granddaughter?” I question Sara, looking her dead in the eye, and hers shift slightly.
Ah, she’s unsure of her decision right now, and by the looks of things, this plan wasn’t well planned out.
She has a granddaughter, someone she could dress up and love like her own, but she loves Kate, was that her name? Anyway, she loves her like a daughter, and she wants Logan.
Shame they both don’t realize he’s taken by someone else, someone he swore he didn’t even look twice at.
Were they together when we were?
Crap, I really didn’t want to go there with my thoughts.
The knife digs deeper, and I swallow the gasp as Kate says, “Mama knew I wanted Lo-Lo, I have since I was twelve, and I won’t have you come here with that brat in tow and take what is rightfully mine.
” I feel her mouth near my ear as she whispers, “Once I’ve tasted your blood, I’m going to taste hers,” before she licks my ear, and okay, this woman is bat shit crazy.
I lock eyes with Sara, hers hardening before she grins coldly and reminds me, “I told you not to come back, I told you I’d kill that child if it was born.”
Does it escape me that she’s calling my daughter it? Nope, not one bit.
She doesn’t want to see her as a girl, something she desperately wanted, or at least that is what I thought until she sneers, “I guess I’ll just have to take her with me instead,” and Kate gasps in shock.
Huh, guess they didn’t plan that bit either.
I side eye Aisling again only to see Vincent looking my way with complete fear, his phone to his ear and I blink four times, needing him to look away, to not get their attention and as if he knows what I need, he turns around and acts like he’s focusing on Aisling who is unaware of the situation just as the knife is removed then stabbed back into me and I gasp, not able to keep it in as I bend slightly before coughing.
“You ready to die?” Kate asks with a whisper and Sara glares at me as she answers for me, “I think she is, she got me kicked out of my home, kicked away from my family and tried trapping my son when he was already taken,” she leans forward as my tears spill, the pain too much as my body trembles and she says, “Time to say goodbye Jassy…”
The name hits me right in the gut, and I choke, “You know Bruce…” And Sara grins widely.
Oh God, Aisling is in more danger than I realize, and I quickly side-eye her again to see Vincent standing in front of her while she trembles behind him, and he holds a gun up to.
No, no, no, Bruce…
I need Logan.