10. Diana
The sun begins to set over the most perfect Fourth of July I’ve had in a long time, and while I’m filled with mild sadness over the end of this amazing day, I’m not disappointed it happened.
I spent the entire afternoon watching my girls look happier and lighter than they’ve been in a long time, playing in the sand with Rachel, making new friends with other children on the beach.
Enjoying their summer so much more than I ever thought would’ve been possible when we first got here weeks ago.
But they weren’t the only ones who had fun: I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed myself so much.
A huge part of it has to do with Michael and how attentive he was, of course; how much he made sure I felt comfortable with everyone and that I was having a good time.
The truth is, I’m not really a shy person, but I wasn’t at the Fourth of July gathering for myself—I was there for my girls.
I would’ve been fine sitting on my own, watching them play, happy to enjoy the salty wind blowing my hair and the sun warming my skin.
Michael, however, had no intentions of letting me blend into the background.
He made sure I felt comfortable with everyone, made me feel like the girls were safe while I enjoyed the beach for myself.
Together, we went into the freezing ocean (which made me miss the warm, clear Caribbean waters more than I expected, but I still enjoyed it), played beach volleyball with the adults (which I was terrible at, but mostly because I kept getting distracted by how much he belonged in a Top Gun montage more than at some beach in Long Island), and walked along the shore as we learned more about each other (I told him a little more about life back in Denver, and he told me about his time as a head chef).
After everything going on at work and with Rodrigo, it felt good to unwind. And if I’m being honest, it didn’t hurt to have someone as gorgeous as Michael to have around.
Thinking back to the times I think I caught him staring at me, I smirk to myself in satisfaction, because I know I wasn’t the only one feeling a physical attraction.
But as I sit on a log by the fire pit Vinny and Matt built while I attempt to warm my feet without burning my toes off, I try to push it out of my head. Even if we were both attracted to each other, it’s not like anything could ever happen. Or that I’d even want it to happen.
Right?
Sighing involuntarily, I watch Danielle and Liza. Each one has a child in their arms, wrapped in a towel as they rest on their mothers’ chest. I can’t help the big smile that spreads across my face when Liza’s three-year old sucks her finger.
“They’re exhausted, aren’t they?” Liza asks, smiling at me.
“And thank god,” Danielle says with a sigh. “The amount of energy this kid has is gonna be the death of me. I could handle it with my twins, but now that I’m older…”
I laugh, remembering when both of my girls were toddlers, how exhausted I would get even in my twenties. “Tiring as they are, you have to admit they can be so much fun.”
“Oh, one hundred percent. Sometimes they act like mini-teenagers, which is super frustrating because it’s either hilarious or incredibly annoying.
Or both.” But even as she says it, Danielle looks down tenderly at her girl, Alessandra.
“The other day, I was going to sit down to play with her, and she raised her hand and went, ‘Mama, I need my space.’” She scoffs.
“Can you believe that? I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.”
“Three-nagers,” I say with a grin.
“You know, I’m so happy you came,” Liza says. “We didn’t get to spend much time together at Barbara’s wedding, so I’m glad we have today to get to know each other a little more.”
“Yeah, especially since we’re all ninety-nine percent sure Michael has a crush on you,” Danielle sing-songs under her breath.
“What?” I ask, a bit shocked. After today, after seeing the way he’d look at me when he thought I wasn’t paying attention, I wouldn’t deny that he’d feel attracted. But a crush?
“Danielle! Don’t.” Liza shoots her sister-in-law a glare.
“No way.” I laugh, but it comes out high-pitched and uncomfortable.
“Michael doesn’t have a crush on me.” But I frown and pause as I look down at my bare feet.
There’s been a sort of harmony between us.
Especially lately. I mean, we had fun today.
Though it’s all been in the name of our daughters, of course.
Right? It’s not a crush. “I think you guys are confused. We’re just friends.
Actually, not even that. Our daughters are the ones who are friends.
We’re just the parents to really close friends. ”
Danielle snickers and looks away. “I’m just saying. I don’t see him looking at other women the way he looks at you. And this BBQ?” She whistles “This is not something he usually does.”
Liza lightly elbows Danielle in the side, trying not to wake either of their daughters. “You have a serious addiction to meddling in other people’s love lives, you know that?” she hisses at her.
“I didn’t hear you complaining when it came down to yours,” Danielle says, lifting a brow.
Liza sighs once before saying, “Point taken. But she’s not your sister-in-law. And you don’t know whether she even likes him or not.”
Danielle turns to me with a kind, but determined expression in her eyes. “Well… Do you?”
“Do I… what?”
“Danielle—seriously!” Liza whisper-yells. “You do not need to ans—”
But Danielle cuts her off. “Like him. Michael. Do you like Michael?”
My jaw drops, my eyes flashing between the two of them. To be honest, my instinct is to reply an immediate and resounding NO. But something stops me. Instead, I go with a cowardly “I mean, he’s a nice guy?”
Danielle rolls her eyes. “C’mon, girl. You know that’s not what I mean.
There’s something between you two. And everyone can see it, no matter what either of you say.
” She smiles, eyes shining under the light of the fire.
My cheeks heat at that piece of information, the thought of other people discussing a possible connection between Michael and me making me self-conscious.
I sigh. “I don’t know. I haven’t thought of him that way before.
” Which isn’t exactly true, but it also isn’t really a lie.
I’ve obviously noticed how attractive he is—today especially.
I mean, how could I not when he spent all day shirtless, skin practically glistening from the ocean water?
I’m not blind. And those dimples, visible even beneath the stubble…
“Never even considered having that type of relationship with him.”
“Really?” Danielle asks, surprised. “Well, how about now that someone has flat-out asked you? What do you think of him? Do you think he’s attractive? Do you think you could ever like him?”
“Danielle,” Liza warns.
I shake my head, heart racing in my chest. “I—I don’t know.
” Truthfully, life has been so crazy ever since I separated from Rodrigo, that I haven’t even had the time to stop and think about the possibility of entering into another relationship ever again.
Not really. And now that the topic has been brought to the forefront of my mind, I’m a little dizzy and overwhelmed.
Letting another guy into my life sounds as dangerous as jumping off the tallest bungee jump in the world—you hope that it’ll catch you, but there’s always the chance that the rope will snap.
There’s no denying the rush felt during the fall is something else, though…
“You’re making her feel uncomfortable,” Liza tells her, standing up for me. Except not a second later, she looks at me with hesitation and asks: “Well… But do you think you could ever like him?”
When I realize there’s no way I’m getting out of this, I decide to answer.
At the very least just to get them off my back.
“I mean, he is… objectively attractive,” I tell them, repeating the same assessment of him I gave my sister.
I look over my shoulder, watch him smile as he jokes around with Vinny’s son by the grill.
“And he’s a good dad. And a nice guy, like I said.
Nicer than I expected.” I hear how my voice has grown soft, feel the way my chest has tightened.
But I snap back to reality when I hear Danielle laugh softly.
Shrugging once, I turn back to them. “He’s okay. ”
Liza presses her lips together, trying not to smile. “Just okay, huh?”
“I thought you were on my side, here,” I mutter.
Danielle and Liza chuckle, though not unkindly. More so like they’re seeing something bloom before their eyes. And I don’t know whether I like it or not.
“Well, regardless of how you feel—”
“Or don’t feel,” Liza cuts Danielle off.
“—I think he likes you. I mean, he did all this for you.” She nods meaningfully at the luxurious set-up.
“Oh, I’m sure you must be mistaken. He’s a chef and caterer. He probably does this kind of stuff with his eyes shut, like it’s second nature.”
“Mmm. I don’t think so. This afternoon is far from the beach barbecues he’s thrown in the past. I’ve never seen him so stressed out about getting things right, about making what was supposed to be a simple Fourth of July thing look like it belonged in a magazine or movie.
I mean, Michael is an amazing guy, but this…
this is something new.” Danielle smiles at me.
I bite my lower lip and look down at my hands, considering her words. My stomach tightens as I think back to the relationship we had at the beginning of summer and where we are now. What I thought was a camaraderie of sorts has shifted and evolved, and begin to wonder whether they’re right.
“I’m sure you’re misreading the situation,” I tell them, heart racing as I try to process my own feelings in the matter. “He’s nice and we’re definitely getting along, but—”
“Hey guys,” Michael’s voice comes from behind, causing me to jump at least a foot in my seat. “Whoops, didn’t mean to scare you.” He takes a seat beside me, a blanket in his arms. Smiling widely, the apples of his sun-kissed cheeks dimpling in that adorable way of his.
My stomach drops, and I turn back nervously at Danielle and Liza, who look like they’re seconds away from bursting into laughter. Thankfully, Michael is too distracted to notice.
“Here, I got you a blanket. It’s starting to get cold out.”
My lips part as he unfolds a navy, cotton cable knit blanket and drapes it gingerly on my shoulders. I have never sat more still in my entire life.
“Um, thank you,” I mumble, suddenly unable to look him in the face. My skin is on fire—it must be—but I still wrap the blanket tighter around my shoulders, instinctually inhaling the scent of it in a deep, long breath—citrus, maybe grapefruit?
Shoot. Danielle and Liza can’t be right, can they? I cannot have a thing for this man. For a million and one reasons, I cannot even be one bit interested in any other type of relationship with Michael aside from him being the father of my daughters’ friend.
“Oh, no, thank you, Michael. Liza and I didn’t want any blankets. We’re good,” Danielle says sarcastically.
He laughs and shakes his head. “Nah, you guys are basically family. You can get your own blankets. Diana is the guest here.”
Liza scoffs and looks at Danielle. “You know, I think I get the message here. We’re not really wanted,” she says, teasing. Still, Liza gets to her feet and readjusts her drowsy daughter in her arms. “C’mon, Danielle. Let’s get out of here. He doesn’t deserve our presence.”
Michael laughs as they walk away, but I remain still and silent, because I know it was all a ploy to leave us alone.